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[AniaR]

I need a break from all of this. My life came to a screeching halt today when my little sister (14) tried to kill herself.
I always feel like Im helping people by standing up against bullying and teaching people their rights and how to publicly defend themselves in our community's case: against certain tail makers. But I have to tell you I'm damn right sick of it. I get so angry at certain drama I see I physically shake.
I can't be the only person anymore who gets all the emails about the bad stuff, the PMs, etc. I feel like a lot of people have put their personal problems with this person on me and really I can only take care of myself and as far as that goes I'm only interested in protecting my own legal rights.
I hate seeing you guys lied to, taken advantage of, or called out etc. But you (and I don't mean everyone, those of you know who you are) need to take your own rights into your own hands and if you have an issue talk about it and make your own attempts to resolve it.
I almost lost my sister today and now my whole family is scrambling trying so hard to get help in a mental health system where there is just none. At the end of the day who in the heck made my tail just isn't that important to who I am as a mermaid persona or a person.
One of my boundaries for myself is not to tolerate personal bullying and I feel I was pulled into recent drama because of that boundary being tested and then my empathy for other people going through the same thing.

Please. If you have an issue talk to a moderator, talk in an appropriate thread, or talk openly with the people you have an issue with. Please do not bring them to me anymore. If I see you going through something and feel like I can point you in the right direction of help I will do so but I am not the face of the anti-mertailor movement or something. I was treated poorly, I spoke out about it, and defended my right to do so. I dont care about bringing someone's business down, making them personally feel bad, and I don't like having to constantly watch everything because my name gets dragged through the mud for standing up for myself.

I almost lost my sister and I don't know what's going to happen or how we're going to help or why she's so miserable that she'd even consider leaving this world. That is infinitely more important to me than my mermaid alter ego, mer-drama, and I'm sorry, anyone else at the moment.

Please respect that and stop bringing me things everyone because when you do I feel like I have to act when I really want to say "can you please deal with this yourself?" but dont because I feel for you.

I know from my own suicide intervention training that 5% of all people are thinking about suicide at any given moment. If you are one of that 5% I want you to know that even though it's hard to find help that there ARE people out there who want you around even when you feel like they dont. This world would be a far sadder place without you and calling a suicide hot line can help you work through things and get in the right direction for healing. Pain is temporary even when it feels like it's going on forever. But your absence will be definite and so will the impact it leaves on your loved ones. If you're feeling suicidal please reach out.

[New York Mermaid]

Raina im so sorry that this is happening to you & your family, If you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to vent or talk to- Im here for you.You can PM me or message me on Facebook. Sometimes even the "therapist" needs therapy. Your sister, like everyone has some hidden issues that they rather not involve the family/friends on. Just focus on your family and deal your personal life and take time for yourself. Remember sometimes taking alittle " you time" helps even if its an hour.

*hugs*

[MermaidAubrin]

I'm so sorry I hope every thing works out and about the last part as a deepresd person I know it's mot as easy as " just tell someone"

[HBMermaid_Angela]

So sorry you and your family are going through this difficult time! Nothing but the best of love and luck going your way!

[Mermaid Jewel]

I'm so sorry :( I'm actually going through a bout of depression and break downs right now...I'm lucky to have such good friends. They're really helping me through it. If you need a friend, don't hesitate to ask :)

[happyguava]

Raina, I'm so sorry to hear that happened. Sending love and healing your way.

[green52]

Knowing what you know about suicide prevention, you're probably aware that as desperate and frightening as this experience is, better days for you and your sister lie ahead.

[APhishOutofWater]

So sorry :( I hope everything's alright

[jukumerboii]

im so sorry to hear this..all i can say is be that big sister and be there 4her and show her much love.

[Lotus]

I'm so sorry, Raina. That's the absolute WORST way to lose someone- I've been thru it twice. I'm glad to hear she is still here!! I'm sorry you've been in the middle of so much drama too- I know you try very hard to advocate for people, you're a great gal! I will pray for your sister and your entire family. I'm here if you need any help at all.

[Anaria]

So sorry to hear Raina :( My thoughts are with you & your family.

[Mermaid Marla]

I'm very sorry to hear this raina... My brother was suicidal once and it is a horrible thing for a family to go through... It's good that you've had some sort of training and are able to understand a little more then most. Just be there for her, try to figure things out with her but please don't get sucked into the horrible depression that can pull you down with this... Forget everyone else and just focus on her, you and your family. Make sure to take of yourself as this will be a tough journey but things will get better. Hugs and love to you and your family.

[Mermaid Luna]

*hugs Raina tight* God honey, I'm so sorry. And that isn't even a good enough word, because words don't do justice. :( If you need ANYTHING, let me know. Heck, PM me and I'll give you my phone number if you want to text or even call. I had a friend commit suicide a few years ago, and the wound is still deep. I might not be able to do much, but for what it's worth, I'm here for you, lovely Raina, and for your sister too. Calm waters to you both. <3

[AniaR]

I was very scared yesterday when I heard about the girl who had done it because she was from my sister's school, the same age, and matcher her description. I think it really drove home how much she's cared for when I called home checking to make sure she was okay. It's one of those things we're taking day by day

[Alveric]

I won't give advice, because you know far more about what's going on than I do; just hopes and prayers.


Alveric

[AniaR]

Update: A week ago when this went down my sister was turned away from the hospital because the teen psych ward had no beds. This week, a 14 year old girl from her school, the same age, that she knew hung herself. There are rumours she was bullied, my sister said it was problems at home. The following day we got a call from the psych ward that they had beds available. My sister was assessed and determined to be at high risk for suicide and was admitted for their residential program at the hospital where she'll stay and go to school there, group therapy, meds, and hopefully get a diagnosis. It's a really good program I was actually took the schooling for it in my first degree so Im confident in the program. While we were checking her in sadly 2 teens died from suicide. 1 of them happened just as the parent was rushing there to be with the kid and we heard the mother whaling it was awful I never want to hear someone cry like that again. :( It really scared me. My sister is now safe in her room there, I stayed with her, brought her things, talked, they made sure she had nothing to hurt herself with and I think she is relieved she is getting help. But I think now that I can finally stop for a moment I realize how close I just came to losing her. Right after seeing her I went to the gym and started running on the treadmill and didnt realize I was bawling.

I think I'm okay now I know she's safe, I know she's willing, and I know the program is good. I think it was all just too much to nearly lose her so many times, see her not get hurt, then hear a girl she knows killed herself for similar reasons. woooosshhh *lets out the air*

[Maple]

Oh Raina. I am so happy she is getting the help she needs.

If you need anything, just send me a PM or a FB message. I'm sending all my love your way.

[AniaR]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14mT_ihkYRU

[Mermaid Jewel]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Lots of love and thoughts to you and your sister and your family

[Mermaid Luna]

Raina, you become more of an inspiration to me daily. <3 I love you, hang in there. And tell your sister Luna loves her, and can't wait to come up to meet the two of you someday. =)

[MermaidKallan]

So sorry to hear this, I hope all goes well now for your sister.

[Mermaid Sirena]

It is good she got accepted, I know they work as a friend of mine was apart of a similar program after she attempted suicide. I know there is nothing I can say or do to help or heal, but my thoughts are with you both and the moon shines on your family and you with her blessings and smile.

[merman475]

Raina, good for you that you're focusing on your family. I hope all goes well with your sister. And remember that your sister is a good person. This was a major cry for help, and your family is able to answer it. Surround her in loving arms (as I'm sure you already do) and never let her forget that you need her and love her!

[Mermaid Saphira]

though I have not lost someone through suicide, I did lose a good friend when a car hit her. It was a terrible night, we all miss her very much. I feel your pain Raina, I send prayers your way! I fyou ever need someone to talk to you can always PM me :) <3 <3 <3