Socially Awkward Mers?

[Mermaid Muir]

Is anyone else socially awkward and has some trouble making friends? I tend to miss out on a lot of social cues so because of that I only have a few close friends.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I've never been the social type, so I don't have many friends. The few that I do, like me for me. Never been comfortable with people I don't know in a face to face situation. I'm ok when on the internet, I have the screen to hide behind! Not saying I'm a hideous monster or anything like that, just not comfortable in social situations.

[Mermaid Oshun]

I am socially awkward, have agoraphobia and fear of social gatherings as well

[Mer-Crazy]

I believe I am quite shy, which some say is social awkwardness but I argue that I'm not awkward with friends at all, just strangers. I also find I have trouble making friends. I don't know, I try but I seem to like people a lot more than they like me. So I feel a little rejected when they don't put in effort to see me.

[Lorelei]

Yes. Exactly the reason why I don't post on here much, and when I do, my anxiety kicks up for about 15 minutes afterwards and I have to calm myself down (makes me wonder why I still post, guess it's because they're still some understanding people on here that are fun to talk to). I truly only have 4 or 5 friends and I'm only really close to two of them because I currently live with them and the rest are scattered across the world far away. It's rough and a bit lonely, but that's the life of a cursed antisocial mer.
Hopefully it'll get easier.

[Mirabelle le Mergirl]

No MATTER! Just be yourself- all you need is that. Also, don't look for friendship- friendship will find you~!

Good luck, just keep swimming :)
Mirabelle

[Mermaid Cecelia]

Me! Me me me!!! I am the most socially awkward person I know. However I am NOT awkward online :P or maybe I am and just haven't noticed yet.... hmmm... I'm the person who in social situations would rather sit with friends or alone (usually alone :/ ) than meet new people. I'm basically completely lost without my friends, which is kinda sad... I get overlooked a lot when I'm with my friends, like if I say something funny then no one laughs but someone else says it and everyone thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. It's annoying, but I'm too awkward to call them out on it

[Mermaid_Kathrine]

I'm very very socially awkward and even online but just when I first start talking to someone lol it's very difficult for me to make friends even online. I'm way too shy for my own good. Lol


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[Mermaid Adriel]

I'm just afraid of not being able in making friends, and it's a very big problem for me... I can be social but I always think of not being loved.

[BayouMermaid]

I used to be homeschooled, and was a VERY outgoing child with numerous friends. When I went to school, I found that others did not appreciate my quirkiness. I think that it was group-think more than individuals actually not liking me. Kids like to make fun of people who dare to be different. Ever since then, I have had trouble getting close to people because I worry that they are judging me. Part of the reason why I love mernetwork is that we are all a little bit strange :) And that's a good thing!!!

[Aziara]

Yeah, I would certainly say I'm a socially awkward person. I was homeschooled my entire life, and I've come to realize most people don't look very highly on that. I have always felt social pressure to have more friends, but I feel a little better about only having very few after seeing this video and realizing that I'm not a freak, I'm just an introvert.
http://youtu.be/LxZ1fPr9FJg

[topsider]

I've always been socially awkward, often missing social cues (or just ignoring them). It probably took me into my mid to late 20's to learn how to pick up on social cues and non-verbal communication and respond properly. I likely missed out on many potential romantic relationships because I just didn't realize that a girl was flirting with me. That being said, my fiance is a wonderful woman who is just as socially awkward as I am; the combined awkwardness is entertaining to us and others.

[Mermaid Enhydrina]

Yeah, I'm both shy and introverted. Social settings make me nervous, but I love to spend time in my own head anyway. I think I've finally started to get over my shyness(A couple years ago I was barely able to like something on facebook,I was so nervous about what people would think. Now I post on here and write stories, and can run into the store for my mom alone.) Missing social cues also feels like a problem for me. It always feels like I've said the wrong thing.

[Aino Revontuletar]

I have always had problems with social situations. I hate meeting new people and having to explain my life (where do I work, do I study, what do I do and how do I live since I don't do either, etc). I never had any friends at school and I still find it really hard to make friends even now. I only have a couple of close friends. I don't mind that though since I love them and think they are a hell of a lot better than any big social circle anyway. I also don't pick up on social cues and stuff like that. I can never tell if someone is flirting with me, for instance.

[Mermaid Cecelia]

My older sisters (twins) are social butterflies and were friends with everyone at their school, even underclassmen. They were on homecoming court multiple times, each were nominated for superlatives, and always had friends anywhere they went. When I was in school with them for a year, many of their friends didnt know who I was so if I said hi to my sisters near them they'd look at me like I had no right to do it :/ it was very degrading, and a lot of times my sisters didnt back me up in those situations

[Aino Revontuletar]

My older sisters (twins) are social butterflies and were friends with everyone at their school, even underclassmen. They were on homecoming court multiple times, each were nominated for superlatives, and always had friends anywhere they went. When I was in school with them for a year, many of their friends didnt know who I was so if I said hi to my sisters near them they'd look at me like I had no right to do it :/ it was very degrading, and a lot of times my sisters didnt back me up in those situations

Ugh, it's hard growing up with a sibling who's like that isn't it? I have a brother who is exactly like that, everywhere he goes he has friends and admirers in the hundreds. I always felt rather excluded too. If I am out somewhere with him these days he will introduce me to his friends and try to include me though, which is nice. But when we were growing up he never did.

[deepblue]

I don't know if I qualify as socially awkward so much as socially clueless. I'm 'shy' on one hand, but on the other, I feel pretty confident most of the time about most things I have to do. I just sometimes don't 'get' what people are trying to say or what is going on around me, because I feel like an alien on this planet. :p Or, more appropriately, a mermaid on land. I've become accustomed to pretending like I'm confident until I am. ha.

Meeting new people I've nothing in common with, though, that I dread. Making small talk is difficult for me, unless someone and I have something in common, like a passion. So, getting a tattoo from an artist who is from a similar subcultural past = win, and easy conversation because we have similar subject matter to talk about. Getting a hair trim from a stylist whose life might as well be in another dimension? ... noooo.

I have to laugh, Aino-



I also don't pick up on social cues and stuff like that. I can never tell if someone is flirting with me, for instance.

-because Saturday night I totally misinterpreted what was apparently a straight man 'freaking' at me. No one does that in the clubs I go to, I didn't even realize that's what he was doing at first, I only realized when I learned today he did it to other women, too. Apparently, it was some kind of come on?

But *I* thought he was posturing at me and trying to get into my dance space and move me out of it. He's not the usual clientele for the club, and people just don't do things like that at the club. Because I couldn't understand WHY he was doing that at all, my brain was all 'oh he's trying to front? At a goth club?'

Turns out he was doing that to a few women, and the guy I thought was his boyfriend was actually his sober friend trying to apologize for his actions all night.

I also totally thought the guy was gay and I'm not even sure why. But the social cluelessness was a good thing, in this case. It kept my reaction down to eye rolling and assuming he was drunk guy not interested in*me* instead of assuming he was trying to get CLOSE to me, and I would not have handled that with grace.

[SeaGlass Siren]

i'm so socially awkward that i kill threads.

[Aino Revontuletar]

-because Saturday night I totally misinterpreted what was apparently a straight man 'freaking' at me.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is 'freaking'? I have never been clubbing in my life and don't intend to start so I know nothing of the jargon

[deepblue]

I only learned what it was like six weeks ago. The only example I could find was this (http://youtu.be/ylTcPTmoysE) video on YouTube. And he did not do it that well, and had he, I still don't want it being done AT me. I don't care where I am.


i'm so socially awkward that i kill threads.


Yep, me too. Deadly thread killer, here. I also say a lot in posts that gets completely ignored, but I'm not going to stop because of that. :p

[Aino Revontuletar]

Ughhh, I wouldn't want that done at me either, LOL. I wouldn't know what to do! This is why I don't go clubbing, hahaha

[deepblue]

The last time something similar happened was 13 yrs ago and I managed to retain my composure and gently push the guy away with a 'No no' wag of my finger. THAT guy had come up behind me, taken me by the waist and almost touched me with his body.

Because he and this other guy are probably used to clubs where that's the norm- I've heard it about clubs that aren't the kind I frequent, and it's the main reason I won't go to those- besides they're not my mind of music. I do so get what you mean.

In these cases, though, THOSE guys were being socially awkward by doing things that are not considered acceptable in the particular environment we were in and not seeing how out of place it was. And they had NO idea.

Sometimes, socially awkward is a matter of perspective and we feel much harder on ourselves over it than anyone observing ever would.

[Mermaid Cecelia]

Haha such a great story, surly! And SeaglassSiren, look at this thread, you haven't killed it at all :D

[SeaGlass Siren]

not yet anyway LOL

[Aino Revontuletar]

Wow Surly, I am surprised you weren't put off clubs for life after that happening! Some people are just gross

[deepblue]

Nah, nearly 30 years of going dancing (I got into clubs young using my sister's ID) and those are the only two moments of ick. :) The rest of the time is quite wonderful and spent with friends and hearing good music. And the two moments of ick were from people who normally won't show.


I just saw this:
My older sisters (twins) are social butterflies and were friends with everyone at their school, even underclassmen. They were on homecoming court multiple times, each were nominated for superlatives, and always had friends anywhere they went. When I was in school with them for a year, many of their friends didnt know who I was so if I said hi to my sisters near them they'd look at me like I had no right to do it :/ it was very degrading, and a lot of times my sisters didnt back me up in those situations


And wanted to say- I'm so sorry your sisters treat you like that. That sucks. My older sister was perpetually cool and popular, but she was always super nice to me and wanted me to meet everyone and go everywhere with her.

[Mermaid Cecelia]

Thanks surly :) it got a little better now that they're in college, and I have my own friends and don't have to share my youth group with my sisters :P

[MermaidAmestris]

Well, I have Aspergers, so of course I'm socially awkward. But I find kids much easier to talk to, mostly because they're not so quick to judge. And when a child runs up to a girl on a beach and the girl happens to be a mermaid, I think they're already fascinated and enraptured, so I don't think I have to worry about it.

[Aziara]

Yeah, kids are so uncomplicated. I love kids. Kids I've never met instantly jump on my lap while their parents look on in shock "they hate strangers!" I guess I just have a non-stranger look about me, lol.

[SeaGlass Siren]

i sing in the bathroom stall. .__.

[Miyu]

I love being social... but I am quite socially awkward, so it's hard sometimes -_-;

[deepblue]

I find myself really envying people who can just get into something, and be a part of a group so easily. So in a way, I'd like to be social, but unless it happens naturally over time, it's just... gah. So not easy.

[deepblue]

Here's something that comes up for me now and then and I'd wondered if others on this thread get this. Because it's like the flip side of not fitting in.

Every so often, I learn that someone is 'very umcomfortable' with me. Which kind of cracks me up, but it's also a little annoying. I can be shy, I can be outgoing in the right situation, and I am always a basically nice person. Even people I don't like... I don't treat them like crap. I treat everyone with a baseline of decency and respect until I decide I love them and or am close enough that it gets an upgrade, so to speak.

The thing is, if I were rude or if I were not the good person I know I am, I'd have more patience for these people who are so wrapped up in what their 'ampullae of Lorenzini' are pinging them about me, when they haven't gotten to know me at all. Gut feelings are a good thing, I use mine to guide me, and they've never steered me wrong when I listen. But this stuff.... good grief. Every single one of the people who've told someone close to me, "There's something weird about her, she makes me uncomfortable" has also been a self-described sensitive. Which makes me want to laugh, because I have worked with a few people who were genuinely mind-blowingly, actually sensitive to things most average humanity isn't (call it stronger instinct if you like, whatever works for you), and they always saw that beyond the 'ooh she gives me the creeps' was 'and there's a reason something feels off about her, but I can also tell she's okay and there's more to it"- a deeper story and they wanted to know me, to find out how I got beyond that 'off' thing they are sensing about me. I end up friends with them, because we respected each other.

So has this kind of thing happened to you? To be honest, I'm kind of sick of it, but- it's not my problem. There's nothing I could do about it, it's nothing to do with my behavior or actions, according to the people who've said the words out loud- if these people are so feckin' sensitive they can't take me, that's their loss. If they were really deeply instinctive as they think, they'd see beyond it.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I am super comfortable talking to you surly :)

[Mermaid Ellowyn]

Like you said Surly... It's their loss. I don't think I've ever gotten that before (at least, not to my knowledge!) but that certainly is a strange phenomenon, haha.

[deepblue]

Yeah, it IS a weird phenom. The last time it happened I was with a friend at a pow-wow, and we walked away from her family members when she told me her uncle think there's something 'off about me' and I had to laugh. I asked, "He thinks of himself as a 'Sensitive' doesn't he?" Yep. And she got my rant. lol She thought it was pretty funny too, because she's known me forever. And she knows there's nothing wrong with me in the sense that he was getting all 'oooh' about.

Pfft.

Also, sorry for the typos in the earlier post... such a migraine yesterday.

[Paige Silvertail]

I just found this thread, and thought "omigosh. yes. THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!" Because somehow, people complain that I'm antisocial, and when I try to be social they act like I don't exist. It really sucks because a lot of these people used to be my close friends.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I'm awkward and eccentric. And I'm proud of it!
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Merman Chatfish]

I am, especially in person. I do better online, which is why I have been on a lot lately.


i sing in the bathroom stall. .__.

When I am in certain type of stalls I hum and change my pitch to find and match the residence frequency.


Me! Me me me!!! I am the most socially awkward person I know. However I am NOT awkward online :P or maybe I am and just haven't noticed yet.... hmmm... I'm the person who in social situations would rather sit with friends or alone (usually alone :/ ) than meet new people. I'm basically completely lost without my friends, which is kinda sad... I get overlooked a lot when I'm with my friends, like if I say something funny then no one laughs but someone else says it and everyone thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. It's annoying, but I'm too awkward to call them out on it

Ever have a time where your with your friends but not really with them and a friend notices and parts with the group to do something with you to make you feel included? Had one friend like that in college. I would feel bad for her but it was nice at the same time. Now they are gone and I'm fairly alone in-person wise.


I'm just afraid of not being able in making friends, and it's a very big problem for me... I can be social but I always think of not being loved.

Sometimes I think I try too hard to make a friend...only made 3 in the last 2 years and one was since we work together at first. I hate being alone.


I used to be homeschooled, and was a VERY outgoing child with numerous friends. When I went to school, I found that others did not appreciate my quirkiness. I think that it was group-think more than individuals actually not liking me. Kids like to make fun of people who dare to be different. Ever since then, I have had trouble getting close to people because I worry that they are judging me. Part of the reason why I love mernetwork is that we are all a little bit strange :) And that's a good thing!!!

I could never homeschool my children. I would worry about them not making friends.



Yep, me too. Deadly thread killer, here. I also say a lot in posts that gets completely ignored, but I'm not going to stop because of that. :p
I have like 3 pages of threads where I am the last person to talk before they all ran away.

[Lorayne]

I'm not quite sure if socially awkward is the right term, but I do have social anxieties and most types of social interactions are really hard on me. Sometimes even with friends I completely trust and where I actually know it's not the case (because they constantly remind me) , I feel like I'm always saying the wrong things and just annoying everyone. And with people I don't know it's just worse, which makes finding new friends pretty much impossible really . I don't even feel all that comfortable writing with people online (but at least online stuff doesn't leave me wanting to curl up in a ball and cry for days.) Tho I did discover that when there is a topic everyone is interested in (and I'm not the one who starts the conversation) I can actually talk quite a bit even with new people before it gets overwhelming.

[Merman Chatfish]

Because of my meds I haven't had a good cry in years. Sometimes you do need a good cry.

[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

Is anyone else socially awkward and has some trouble making friends? I tend to miss out on a lot of social cues so because of that I only have a few close friends.


I've never been the social type, so I don't have many friends. The few that I do, like me for me. Never been comfortable with people I don't know in a face to face situation. I'm ok when on the internet, I have the screen to hide behind! Not saying I'm a hideous monster or anything like that, just not comfortable in social situations.


I believe I am quite shy, which some say is social awkwardness but I argue that I'm not awkward with friends at all, just strangers. I also find I have trouble making friends. I don't know, I try but I seem to like people a lot more than they like me. So I feel a little rejected when they don't put in effort to see me.


Yes. Exactly the reason why I don't post on here much, and when I do, my anxiety kicks up for about 15 minutes afterwards and I have to calm myself down (makes me wonder why I still post, guess it's because they're still some understanding people on here that are fun to talk to). I truly only have 4 or 5 friends and I'm only really close to two of them because I currently live with them and the rest are scattered across the world far away. It's rough and a bit lonely, but that's the life of a cursed antisocial mer.
Hopefully it'll get easier.


Me! Me me me!!! I am the most socially awkward person I know. However I am NOT awkward online :P or maybe I am and just haven't noticed yet.... hmmm... I'm the person who in social situations would rather sit with friends or alone (usually alone :/ ) than meet new people. I'm basically completely lost without my friends, which is kinda sad... I get overlooked a lot when I'm with my friends, like if I say something funny then no one laughs but someone else says it and everyone thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. It's annoying, but I'm too awkward to call them out on it

I am not socially awkward online but I am in real life

[Neerai]

I'm on the introverted side of the moon, but when I feel full of energy some people misunderstand me and think I'm an extroverted girl...

[Agent Dragon]

I have social anxiety, which is hard but sometimes I think it can make things easier to be able to chalk it all up to a condition. Sometimes I think I'm lucky to have my diagnosis rather than sitting there wondering what's wrong with me. I'm so much more eloquent over social media though, so that's nice.
Speaking of being socially awkward, all of my friends know I'm a mermaid but for some reason I can't bring myself to tell my parents. I got my tail a few days ago... I guess I'm just scared they'll laugh? Well, my mom's taking me to the pool tomorrow so I suppose she'll find out then lol. Or... maybe I'll tell her now. Aaah social anxiety sucks. <end rant>


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[Neerai]

Social anxiety is the worst. I remember one day I was just unable to enter a bakery just because I didn't met anybody inside before. It was just buying some bread... but I can't. I had a panic attack. Was the worst sensation ever.

[Agent Dragon]

Speaking of being socially awkward, all of my friends know I'm a mermaid but for some reason I can't bring myself to tell my parents. I got my tail a few days ago... I guess I'm just scared they'll laugh? Well, my mom's taking me to the pool tomorrow so I suppose she'll find out then lol. Or... maybe I'll tell her now.

Update: I just told my mom and she thought it was awesome.


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[Neerai]

Your mom is awesome too! :D


Update: I just told my mom and she thought it was awesome.


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[Satine]

I am extreamly socially awkward it’s not bad when I am on the other side of a screen, but it’s really bad in person especially since I am bad at pick up and interpreting social clues. I often miss when people are trying to have a conversation to be friends and when guys hit on me to. It’s also bad cause I can’t tell when people are mad at me. The only person I can some what understand is my boyfriend who I’ve been with for about 9 years now !!!


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