Excuses, Excuses

[ScheherazOdd]

I thought it'd be fun to start up this game here, since I've played it on other forums and it's always a bucket of laughs.

The game starts with me asking a 'why' question, and the next poster answers it and then asks another question, and the next poster answers it and asks another question, and so on. The point of the game is to come up with the wackiest answer possible. Ex:

Q: Why did you cut up my favorite shirt?

A: It said terrible things about my mother.


So...Why didn't you do the dishes?

[taom]

Because lobsters aren't soap.

Why didn't you do your homework?

[AniaR]

Because the evil monkey is the closet kept me up all knight

why didn't you show up for our date?

[ScheherazOdd]

Because I was sent back in time and had all kinds of fascinating adventures in the past until I was able to build a time machine to send myself back, but due to an unforeseen glitch in the system it sends you fifteen hours later than the time you meant to arrive.

Why are you wearing a suit of armor?

[melbel1023]

because i'm getting ready to have tea with the queen - a surprise tea party - that i'm not really invited to.

why didn't you take out the trash?

[Mermaid Jewel]

Because I broke my right leg when an elephant ran over it.

Why didn't you check your email?

[kazekoh]

Well you see, the monkey king called and said he needed me to defeat the Jade Queen in Beijing. Saving the world from jelly potatoes and evil Superman is much more important then trash take out!

Why is there a hole in my bucket?

[MermaidAubrin]

Because I hade to use it as a telescope to look at pirate

Why did you slap me?

[Aquatica]

because there was a mosquito on your face

why do you lean to the left when you walk?

[Alveric]

Because me hellspawned excuse for a parrot chewed off the bottom of me peg leg.

Why are you lookin' at me like that?

[AniaR]

because there's a tentacle wriggling out of your ear!

Why do you talk so funny?

[Alveric]

I ain't talkin' funny ye fishy-tailed wench.

Why's everyone else talkin' funny?

[MermaidAubrin]

you may be crazy. :P

Why do you keep looking at my 3rd arm?

[ScheherazOdd]

Because it's making some very rude gestures.

Why do you have a tampon in each nostril?

[Syrenia]

I went to the zoo and had a tea party with the fish. They said if I put a tampon in each nostril, I could breathe underwater. And it worked!

Why did you ditch my party??

[MermaidSaku]

Because an evil scientist some how created a zombie disease to destroy all human life. i had to muster my bo staff skills to stop him but it was an epic fail because the zombies are coming!!

Why didn't you pick up your phone?

[Mermaid Sirena]

Because I used the battery to power my metal detector to find the buried treasure and that lovely jade necklace of yours.

Why are you standing on your head?

[happyguava]

Because I don't have feet :( *flips tail*

Why didn't you eat breakfast?

[Mermaid Lorelei]

Because it ran out the front door...

Why do feet smell?

[ScheherazOdd]

Because they can't see very well, so they use their sense of smell to compensate.

Why are there tire tracks on the ceiling?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because I was using your car and accidentally hit the no-gravity button.

Why are there fish in the bathtub?

[Mermaid Sirena]

Because aliens knocked the tank over when trying to abduct the cat.

Why is this plushi so cute?

[Alveric]

Because it resembles your Uncle Bert.

Why is the bath water so cold?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because I went on a trip to Anartica and thought I would bring back a glacier as a souvenir, sadly it melted.

Why is the dog purple?

[Mermaid Miel]

Because he is half-Jackalope, It's the Chromium that makes them Purple... and vicious man-killers. Watch Out!

Why are there Bees in my Room?

[kazekoh]

Because Poo Bear was bothering them again :|

Why do we have to learn about Cthulhu?

[Alveric]

We need to know enough to be afraid.

Why is the rum gone?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because Jack Sparrow stopped by, said he ran out of rum and being a pirate took yours!

Why are you ductaped to the ceiling?

[Mermaid Miel]

I was trying to catch the Phantom jewel thief/Magician Kaito Kid. The Duct-tape is usual, but I'm kinda embarassed about the Cat-ears and tail.

Why so Sad, my friend?

[kazekoh]

Because I Can't see my forehead. |<

Why is there bacon in the soap?

[Mermaid Saphira]

That soup isn't for you it's for the dog!

WHAT is that?

[ScheherazOdd]

"That" is my mother, you pig!

Why are there singing chipmunks in your hair?

[malinghi]

Because I couldn't find any singing squirrels.

Why is there food all over the seats in my car?

[Mermaid Sirena]

The car tried to eat me so I sacrificed my lunch to it instead.

Why is there shredded paper everywhere?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because I am atrocious at origami.

Why aren't butterflies in your stomach as awesome as they sound?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because they are trapped, how would you feel?

Are you okay?

[sunrise]

No, I'm stuck in the television again. :I

How come you're chained to the roof?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because I overdosed on pixie dust.

Why did you take my trident?

[Spindrift]

It looked like cake.
Why do you taste like Coca-Cola?

[Mermaid Sirena]

Because the evil witch turned the pool I was swimming in, into Coca-Cola.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Alveric]

It rolled a ball over.

Why is the sky blue?

[Samantha Siren]

Because a millions smurfs were sacrificed to the Gods by being catapulted into the sky!

Why am I talking to the wall?

[Azurin Luna]

Because you confused your shadow for a person

Why do bubbles go up?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because if bubbles went down instead, carbonated beverages wouldn't result in burping, but in something worse.

Why don't bullfrogs have wings?

[sunrise]

Because they used to chase birds all over the world, and one day the birds got mad and ripped up all the bullfrogs' wings.

Why is there a camel nibbling on your tail?? :O

[Mermaid Saphira]

He thinks I taste like fish! *flips tail*

Why didn't you eat your Aunt's cake?

[sunrise]

I'm allergic to lima bean frosting, and she loves the stuff.

Why are aren't you at bagpipes practice??

[Mermaid Saphira]

Some scottish guy took it from me...make me think, my dad never said where he got it

What are you starring at?

[sunrise]

The moon... Am I crazy, or does it kinda look like a pie??

Tell me!! Am I crazy??? :O

[Mermaid Photine]

No. You are just as sane as I am.

(HAD to lol. Yep. Harry Potter reference.)

Who is that person next to you?

[Mermaid Saphira]

That is not a person silly...it's a unicorn! What? u think I need glasses?

when are we leaving?

[Mermaid Momo]

leave?!leave?! who said we're leaving?

why arent you wearing your new outfit?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Couldn't get my tail throught the pant leg (#^_^#)

Why do you have a box of soup?

[Samantha Siren]

Because this is what I got from Santa instead of a bike!

Why is the Earth not flat?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Giants are in a battle to decide if they should step on earth or not...

Why are the wheels on your bike square?

[Mermaid Photine]

Because the giants decided to step on the Earth after all. It's easier to travel on a flat earth with square wheels.

What's in that tree?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Well it's definatley not a dolphin! Whoa! Was that a finger where it's eye should be? Dude, I'm outta here!

If I told you there was a big scary ogre behind you...what would you say?

[sunrise]

That depends... Is he edible???

Where's the dog's dinner?

[Alveric]

In the fridge.

Why is the cake gone?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because it's my birthday!

What did you get me? :)

[Mermaid Hamant]

A mini replica of the statue of liberty made entirely out of salt.

Why is there a spear stuck in your head?

[Azurin Luna]

Someone tried to be Robin Hood with a spear

Why do you look sour?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Duh! I'm going to the costume party as a sour patch kid! I even taste sour! *licks arm*

Why are my shoes on the roof?

[sunrise]

I got bored of throwing snowballs on the roof because they break. By the way, I think there's a bird living in one.

Why are you swimming in that frozen lake??

[APhishOutofWater]

Because the cabbages told me to.

Why is the penguin wearing sunglasses?

[Mermaid Saphira]

he's tired of the tuxedo...hes ready for a tan!

What's wrong with your car?

[sunrise]

I tried converting the engine to run on pudding.... well, I just filled the engine with pudding to be honest..

How come your tongue is stuck in the computer??

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because I wanted to take a byte.

Why can't I find any constellations besides Orion? Are they behind the couch?

[Azurin Luna]

Because I glued the other pages of your book together.

Why is there a pirate in my bath?

[SireniaSolaris]

because there was a mosquito on your face

why do you lean to the left when you walk?

I'm SO sorry to mess up the flow, but I HAVE to comment - this actually HAPPENED to my baby!! She's one and a fat mosquito landed on her face a week or so ago. I didn't want it to get her, so I hit it - and I got it! But she just got the SADDEST look, like "why did u hit me???" and started crying so bad. I felt soooo bad and was cuddling her, trying to explain that I had to kill the mosquito... man I wish babies understood english :-\

[-Annwyn-]

"Why is there a pirate in my bath?"

Welcome to Somalia!

Next question: Why do cats wash themselves?

[SweeteSiren]

Obviously, because there's a pirate in the bath.

Why did my face disappear?

[Mermaid Photine]

It didn't disappear, it's on the other side of your head now!

Why are my toes so cold?

[sunrise]

Because you're standing in my ice cream -_-.

Why didn't you try the cake I baked for you?? ;.;

[SireniaSolaris]

Cuz fat kids like cake - and I'm a mermaid. Seaweed diet, duh!

Why are there no waves today?

[Mermaid Photine]

Because you ate all the seaweed. Seaweed is what causes waves. Luckily it grows so quickly...

How does my hair look?

[sunrise]

It looks fine, stop worrying so much.

Why is there a dinosaur playing the broken piano in the corner... and WHY is it making noise when it's smashed into a million pieces??? :O

[Mermaid Photine]

You are mistaken. They replaced the piano with a dinosaur because the piano broke. It's the dinosaur that's making those noises.

When will my prince come?

[sunrise]

Well, by my calculations, your prince has already been here and left.

Who ate my good shirt??

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

I couldn't help it, it tasted delicious, like polyester!

What really happens to socks that vanish in the washing machine?

[Azurin Luna]

They become the bedroom boogymen in the little children closets.

Why do foxes look cute?

[SireniaSolaris]

because it's the only way we will share our chicken with them.

Why are there no self-cleaning homes yet?

[Azurin Luna]

Because the sea cleans our houses out.

Why did you put a banana in the Christmas tree?

[sunrise]

My family is allergic to pickle juice, so we put a banana in the tree instead of a pickle.. It doesn't work too well when you people insist on buying a green tree instead of a yellow one. :I

Why do teddy bears eat my crochet hooks?

[SireniaSolaris]

Because you bought yellow bananas instead of green ones.

Why is time moving so quickly?

[sunrise]

because my dog hit the button that speed up the universe. If she hadn't, the year would be 1900 still.

Why don't snakes have legs?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because really, they're better off... snake podiatrists and foot masseurs were making a killing, and all those poor snakes just decided legs weren't worth the hassle... or the hasssssssssssssle, rather.

Why am I in Ouagadougou?

[Azurin Luna]

Because you went left again instead of right....

Why didn't you listen?

[Mermaid Photine]

Because you were the one saying turn left. Look what you did, messing up time and space itself. :P

Why is infinity a sideways 8?

[Alveric]

Because a sideways seven just looks silly.

Why is a cupcake not like a muffin?

[Azurin Luna]

Because cupcakes look way more tasty and decorative.

Why are you spinning around on your desk chair?

[MermaidAubrin]

Because its really fun!
Why don't you hear the voices to?

[Azurin Luna]

Because there is an orchestra playing in my head

Why did the candy end up against the window?

[SireniaSolaris]

Because I used windex so they thought they were going through it ;)

Why is my eye shadow turquoise blu-er than my tail paint turquoise? D:

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because eyes make clumpy ingredients for paint.

Do miners deliberately act naughty to get coal for christmas?

[sunrise]

Only when the coal market is good. ;)

How did the jello mural I'm making shatter like glass? 0.o

[SireniaSolaris]

Too much sugar.

Where did the sun go?

[Mermaid Photine]

It went home. You should, too. It's already dark out. You mother'll be worried!

What should I have for dinner?

[sunrise]

Peanut butter ravioli. Apparently the sauce mixing with the peanut butter keeps our tails nice and healthy.

Why can't I make a scarf?

[Mer Vee]

Because all of us, in our own time, become aware of our own mortality.

[Mermaid Sirena]

Because I ate the above questions...

So why am I still hungry?

[Azurin Luna]

Because 1's and 0's don't fill that much.
Why is there a chicken sitting on my LCD screen?

[koiboi]

Because it thinks it's a launchpad
Why did the mermaid cross the road?

[Neria]

Because the mangos were on the other side.
Why are you eating that curtain?

[Azurin Luna]

Because the candies on it looked so real.
Why did my computer have to give up on me?

[koiboi]

because computers are generally flighty and inconsistent
Whats a fire and why does it, whats the word, burn ?

[Nate Walis]

Maybe they found a paper bag big enough for the task.

Really, why is a mermaid tail considered clothing even when it's not a costume?

[Nate Walis]

Maybe they've found a paper bag big enough to do the job.

Seriously, why is a mermaid tail accepted as clothing even when it's not a costume?

[Nate Walis]

Maybe they've found a paper bag big enough to do the job.

Seriously, why is a mermaid tail accepted as clothing even when it's not a costume?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Who knows? Maybe it's magic!

Why do humans have feet instead of fins?

[sunrise]

Because they're cursed.. They just don't know it. There is hope for them, but most don't realize. Poor land creatures. :(

Why won't people eat my cooking?

[Mermaid Sirena]

Cause they are freaking amazing!

Why isn't the earth flat?

[Mermaid Saphira]

The giants have not yet come to squish it! (hint hint! 2012 the world will end!!)

Why did u kiss a frog?

[sunrise]

Because it wouldn't tell me how to make frog legs unless I did.

Why did the frog legs I made taste suspiciously human?? :O

[Elinye]

Because you didn't use enough ketchup.

How do you know what human tastes like?

[Mermaid Photine]

That is a long tale involving several interdimensional loops and one very, very angry chupacabra.

Why won't it snow when I want it to?

[sunrise]

Because I keep hogging the nature lines influencing the volleyball in class.

My lava cake had real lava, and everyone hated it. I'm confused.

[Mermaid Saphira]

They've never had lava? I'm confused to!

What happened to your tail?

[koiboi]

I sold it to the sea witch for a hippie van of broken promises.
Why are there only seven seas?

[Azurin Luna]

Cause they think it looks funny

Why are some people so hard to understand?

[Azurin Luna]

Because they think it is funny.

Why are some people so hard to understand?

[Azurin Luna]

Because they think it is the new thing

Why are seasons changing?

[Mermaid Miel]

Because the Eighth said "Sea ya later"

Why is the water blue?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because if it was pink only girls (and um "family") would want to swim in it.

Why does Frankenstein's monster have bolts in his neck?

[Nate Walis]

Because they'd look bloody stupid in his forehead.

Why do mermaid's wear shell bikinis when they're literally naked below the waist?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Now why on earth would you know something like that!!??

Why can't we see the earth spinning?

[Azurin Luna]

Because it is to big
why did you travel around the world?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because If I went over the earth, I think I might create a black hole!

What time is it?

[Mermaid Sirena]

TEA TIME!!!! And an unbirthday for a special someone.

Why is ice so cold?

[Mermaid Lorelei]

Because steam stole its blankets.
Why do socks get lost in the wash?

[Mermaid Saphira]

The washing machine monster eats them.

Why is your fish swimming like that?

[Elinye]

Don't worry! I taught him how to swim belly-up!

What do mer-vampires sleep in?

[Mermaid Sirena]

Coral Coffins, it takes years to grow them properly that is why they are so cranky when young.

How does one go about obtaining a pair of legs?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

They sell for a year of servitude, one voice, or your hair color at the goblin market... or you can just grab them off some poor schmuck who's not using them. That's what shipwrecks are for, after all.

Why are people so obsessed with "upside-down" mermaids?

[Neria]

Upside down mermaids?!? You mean like with the upper body of a fish and human legs on the bottom? EEEK! No thank you!

Why are you wearing that hideous dress!?!

[Mermaid Miel]

Because Everyone knows Kelp is, like, so cool!


Why are you Blue? literally!

[Amphitrite]

I liked the idea of being in the water so much that I dyed myself blue so that when I'm away from it I can constantly remind everyone that I'd rather be half-fish.

Why do you always need to breathe?

[Azurin Luna]

It would be very difficult to talk if I didn't.

Why do you smell of coconut oil?

[Amphitrite]

I am secretly a palmtree-ent, pretending to be human, knowing that no one will believe me if I tell them. :D

How did you build that time machine?

[Mermaid Photine]

With human hair...from my back.
(Jack Sparrow, anyone?)

Why is it so fun to wear jingle bell jewelry?

[Mermaid Saphira]

^ Humans actually originated fromjingle bells, therefore we feel the need to wear them!

Why is your tail cahnging colors?

[Mermaid Sirena]

It changes with the seasons.

Why are you smiling?

[SweeteSiren]

I smiled politely at a fish I saw. Then I had to keep smiling politely as the other 500 in the school went by. Cheeks frozen...can't...stop...

Why can't I ever find bunny slippers in my size?

[sunrise]

because stores don't appreciate the mer population.


Why do people in movies always trust the creepy man with the weird room in his house?

[Mermaid Saphira]

^ Deep inside, you know you want to trust him..go into the weird room sunrise! Go!

What happened to you?

[sunrise]

I followed your advice, and after a long battle and five bottles of pepper spray, i realized that man was my therapist. Now I'm stuck in three months of webcam therapy, which is very boring.

Why isn't there a mer taxi service?

[Prince Calypso]

because taxi doesn't take sand dollars

why is the moon pink?

[Eszti]

Because I walked up there and painted it.


Why can emus smile?

[Azurin Luna]

Because I advised them that smiling is better for your health

Why is your face blue?

[Mermaid Saphira]

I feel face first into my lumiere paint can while painting my tail :p

Does this make my tail look fat?

[Eszti]

If they say it does then tell them to go to the eye doctor because they need to get their eyes checked.


Why should I worry?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because the zombies are coming to get you!

Why do you have a shark in your pool?

[Mermaid Photine]

I am the shark in that pool. Thanks for letting the secret out.

Do I turn left or right here?

[Mermaid Saphira]

What do you mean? It's a one way street! OMG did aliens steal ur brain?? :p

Why didn't I get flowers for v-day?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

You actually did get flowers, but they were the wrong kind of anemones, and floated away. Sorry about that.

Why aren't there sea ponies in the My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic series, as there were in the old series?

[Mermaid Saphira]

^ They decided that being famous was just to much for them and drifted back to a normal like

Are we there yet?

[sunrise]

Nope, stop asking every five steps!

Why do humans bother me when I sing??

[Mermaid Photine]

Because you singing is wonderful, like pumpkin cakes and those giant swirly lollipops on a mountain of rainbow trout.

Why can't I stop procrastinating?

[Mermaid Saphira]

I don't know..I'll look into it later :p

Who invented plastic?

[Neria]

Me, of course! Who else?

What is up with that big blue mouse on your head?

[sunrise]

His name is Steve!! Someone sent him away, but I brought him back so we can be friends again!!!

Why do spy missions always end in disasters?

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

They don't end in disasters, they end in explosions.

How do I keep my magic red cap on my head when I swim? Won't it fall off in the flow of the water?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Um, hello it's magic! Of course it won't fall off of your head! :p

Why are lady bugs red?

[Eszti]

A little blonde girl with legs painted them.


Where is my hair brush?

[Mermaid Photine]

I gave it to the peach. :3

Why is the water so cold?

[sunrise]

Because her hair brush was keeping the water warm, and you gave it to the peach -_- .

Why is my dog acting like my sister?

[Mermaid Saphira]

That IS your sister!!

Who is responsible for turning Sunrise's sister into a dog?

[Mermaid Photine]

I am, but don't tell anyone. Then they'll tell their friends, and before you know it, I'm showing up for birthday parties and mall openings.

Why was there cheese in the scrambled eggs?

[Mermaid Saphira]

U don't like me cooking do you? I thought *sniff* you loved my cooking! *cries*

Do you like my new recipe?

[Mermaid Miel]

I dont know about her, but I think your Green Pancakes are awesome!

Are you feeling happy and muffin in the morning?

[sunrise]

No, I feel tired and sad :(

Is it wrong to be happy when someone turned your sister into a dog? IS it???

[Mermaid Saphira]

You can only be as happy as the day your annoying grandmother became a frog.

Why do I like dolpins so much?

[Mermaid Miel]

Because Mermaids and Dolphins are both aquatic mammals.. your practically family but the language barrier prevents annoying family arguments. :D

I am a mermaid tail or can be purchased here how?

[sunrise]

my answer to that is a magic squid..


I was climbing a very tall tree when it started raining and I can't get down because I'm stuck in my mermaid form.. what do I do??

[Mermaid Saphira]

With tail comes powers....shape-shift! Hello?!

Do you like my new top?

[sunrise]

Duh!!!

Why is my doll looking at me hungrily?

[babsannee]

It hasn't had mermaid in years!

How does my hair look?

[sunrise]

merfectly, beautiful, as always.

Why doesn't the bakery sell seaweed doughnuts?

[Alveric]

The green stuff gets stuck between peoples' teeth.

Where are all the merbunnies?

[Mermaid Saphira]

They went to prepare for easter ;)

Where did my merdog go?

[sunrise]

After the bunnies, hehe (shh! puppy, be quiet, puppy) hehe :$ they went that way *points*

Why are merpuppies so irresistibly cute!? *hugs missing merdog*

[Mermaid Saphira]

Because they are! They are bunnies with tails! Hello?! XD

Where did you find my merdog? *whistles to Topaz*

[Azurin Luna]

It was in my yard searching for his ball

Why do the colors red and blue fight?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Blue is angry that red takes up more room on the american flag.

Why does everyone think my merdog is a boy? She has a pink tail...

[Siren of the Sea]

Cause if 'mer' ends in anything but 'maid' they assume tis a male.

Why is my hair purple all of a sudden?

[Prince Calypso]

sorrry i thought it needed a little pizzazz!

why can't i wear sea shells!!!

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Because the shellfish and mollusk union has sued us.

Why haven't we made a mermaid karaoke list?

[Mermaid Miel]

Too much delegation and procrastination... I volunteer you to do it tomorrow.

Why does tomorrow never come?

[sunrise]

Because I keep hitting the snooze button..

Why don't we figure skate?

[Nemefish]

that's an obvious question! because we have fins for feet -.- ....

why is this so fun?

[Prince Calypso]

because we all rock!

why is there a starfish on your face?
it's really distracting.

[Mermaid Rillia]

because I mistook it for a fashionable headband and it didnt like the idea....

Why is there an eel in my bed?

[Ayla of Duluth]

Because he was too cold on the floor.

Why am I joining in on this?

[Bellasea]

Because you were compelled by the wizards that live in the magical box most call a computer.

When is a fish not a fish?

[Nemefish]

when it grows legs due to a shortage of sea water caused by global warming :S (it had to evolve quickly)

how can a fish grow instant legs?

[Azurin Luna]

He found a magic potion in a chest from a sunken magical ship.

Why does your ball has points?

[Bellasea]

What are you talking about? This is my sea urchin named Timothy.

Why did you open the window?

[mermaidcatherine]

Because it's the only way out of the tower my stepmother put me in.

Why is the sky blue?

[Mermaid Dottie]

Because today the noses are doing the running and the feet are doing the smelling.

Oh My gosh! Why is there movement in that thing over there?!?

[Alveric]

Looks like there's a fungus among us!

Who let the mutants out?

[MermaidRaegan]

Wolverine, because he was feeling lonely.

Why are sheep so fluffy?

[Gem Stone]

the dogs. they figured if they were let out, why not lend a helping paw

why did you swim away from the crab?

[Mermaid Dottie]

Sheep are fluffy to give the wolves cotton mouth, and the Crab was trying to pinch my cheeks. I hate that!

Why did I leave my phone at work again today?

[Ayla of Duluth]

The same guys who let the dogs out. You should probably go retrieve all those dogs btw, I hear they're not very nice...

When does the narwhal bacon?

[Alveric]

When the dolphins bring the lettuce and tomato.

Who's bringing the bread?

[Mermaid Dottie]

I volunteer you. Once you figure out how to make waterproof bread.

Who's up for a swim?

[babsannee]

I am always!

what color should my hair be on tuesdays?

[Prince Calypso]

Rainbow!!!!

who kisses and tells?

[MermaidRaegan]

Dolphins, you know how talkative they are!

Who is my Great Aunt Tilly?

[sunrise]

I'll never tell!!!

Why are my human friends afraid of me playing with fire?

[Gem Stone]

They think youll cook yourself.

When are humans going to realize that we need to drink water and throwing it on my tail won't help?

[sunrise]

When we splash water on them and ask if it helps quench their thirst.

Why is water so... addictive???

[Mermaid Miel]

It's the chemicals that pool companies have added to the chlorine.

Why does it only ever rain on the day of a major event?
(Planned a swim party, Forecast says clear skies all week, then Light Rain ON the Day! XD )

[Azurin Luna]

It's a swim party so extra water wouldn't hurt.

Why does my cat think that it's nice to sleep in my tail?

[Neria]

Because cats think that everyone belongs to them. Cat's thought's: "Oh, that was very nice of her to set this comfortable thing out for me to lay on. I was getting tired of that black sweater."

Why is my shell-phone ringing?

[Prince Calypso]

because I've been calling you for like an hour girl pick up the phone

why does my boyfriend call me his favorite type of sushi?

[Mermaid Ashleigh]

he thinks its a cute pet name but dont for get to remind him its offensive when ur half


umm why doesnt my boyfriend pay the dates?

[sunrise]

He probably forgot that sand dollars aren't accepted currency.

Why does my dog crawl under my bed??

[Prince Calypso]

he is trying to protect you from the dust bunnies

what happens if a mermaid and werewolf have a kid?

[sunrise]

Temporary pool and beach evacuation: reason, another giant hairball from your favorite were-mer. :D

Where did the car and my cat go?

[Alveric]

Fluffy wanted a night on the town.

Why did the mermaid cross the Gulf Stream?

[sunrise]

She chased the chicken feather fishing lure. But she realized it was a trap, and crossed again to go home.

What do you get a mer for his/her birthday?

[Mermaid Ashleigh]

sand dallors

[Mermaid Saphira]

What does a mermaid/merman do when they get snagged by a sailor?

[Alveric]

Pull real hard on the line then grab the poor bastard after he falls in.

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

[sunrise]

Mix super hot hot sauce in his food.

What do you say to a mer instead of "swimming with the fishes"?

[Mermaid Saphira]

Thought it was sleeping with the fishes @.@

What does one do when they discover a mermaid?

[Ayla of Duluth]

keep quiet about it because they think no one will believe them

would you believe your friend if they said they saw a real mermaid?

[Mermaid Photine]

Join them. For realz.

How did you manage to fill my house with water?

[Mermaid Saphira]

What water?!?! *bubbles fly out of mouth*

How did you get that cut in your tail?

[Bortillo]

I had a lot of luck in my search for espionage software. This is how I discovered out my girlfriend had been unfaithful to me. I discovered a complete list of these spy applications for Android at spy software for chromebook (https://celltrackingapps.com/spy-app-for-android-undetectable/) from which you can already make your own selection and use. I hope I was able to assist you in making this challenging decision.