victims of abuse?

[angelstarfish]

I'm asking if there are survivors of abuse because I survived a traumatizing event and want to know if there are other people out there like me who channel their anger through other outlets (I write).

[angelstarfish]

and also, what would you do if you suspected a child was being abused? I would report them

[Morticia Mermaid]

I am. I design and sew. Try to keep to myself mostly though because it's left me with a short fuse

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[AniaR]

Hi angelstarfish,

I had a severely abusive and neglectful mother. I was removed from her care but still forced to see her and went through therapy several times before I decided to kill all contact with her. It's been over 4 years now since I've seen her, but she still tries to pull things from the outskirts and it only serves to prove to me I did the right thing keeping her out. The abuse went on my whole life, right until the last time I saw her on my 24th birthday.

Therapy is VERY important if youre an abuse victim. It may take you a few tries to find the right therapist. Sometimes getting through the trauma of abuse may mean medications like antidepressants or anti anxieties.

There are many wonderful books to help you depending on who your abuser was. I found reading the books very validating.

Sometimes there are support groups, or online support groups. It helps to talk to others who have been in your situation.

Regarding children we are all in North America obligated by law to report even SUSPECTED child abuse or neglect. It's okay if you're wrong. Sadly, they often cant do much about it. It's not like what you see in the movies, they dont swoop in and remove the kids. It's often a very drawn out process. My abusive mother has custody of my niece and I have reported her a dozen times. It wasn't until something terrible happened that her teacher reported it and she was placed in temporary foster care. In my opinion my mother should have been jailed and never allowed to have children again. But the courts ruled she had to take classes and that was it. She got my niece back. It's a very hard thing I live with. I fear for my niece on a daily basis. But you should always report, because at the very least it can help a child CHOOSE to get away from that parent when they turn a certain age.

[AnnaAbyss]

Yep. :/
I was sexually abused by my ex. He's in almost all of my classes. It takes all of my willpower to not lash out at him physically or verbally. I don't talk about it to anyone really. Just my mum, dad and school counselor. I can't talk to my friends about it because they're friends with the guy (now my ex) who did it and all my friends think he's a great kid. And some of them I know would spread it around.

[Lois]

Anna that sounds awful can you arrange to move classes? or schools even it must be really challenging seeing him everyday.

If you even suspect abuse though you need to report it to social services! In the UK we have childline for all children who need to talk to someone, im not sure if you have an equivalent in the US but the number is free phone so it might be free from the US.

My ex for two and a half years was emotionally and physically abusive. But Leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do....its hard when you are so in love with someone but you know they are so bad for you.

The most important thing is that you talk about it with someone you can trust....and if you dont feel like you can talk to a friend or family go and talk to the doctor they should be able to point you towards the right services that can help you

[AnnaAbyss]

Thank you so much Lois. I really appreciate your concern. :)
I moved to this school in April last year and it was the best thing I've ever done, it changed my life. I love it and would never move. My ex is from New Zealand and he could be moving back next year (hopefully x.x). So my fingers are crossed he'll move.
I have more help and support from people who know that I could ever ask for, even if there's about 6 people who actually know (parents, school counselors, most trusted friends).
It's just the self blame and disgust at him, and myself for not saying no more clearly that's really getting me. Althought I did tell him no. I have so much anger towards him inside me that it's a struggle to keep it in at school.
The fact that he doesn't know what he's done, walking around totally unaware. I dont exist to him, he doesnt even look at me (I'm actually glad).
He thought I enjoyed what he did to me.
(I'm not looking for sympathy, if anyone's thinking that. I just needed to get this off my chest).

[MerAnthony]

Anna I am so sorry you had to go through that. I have had some friends go what you went through An it justs (sorry for language) burn my ass that people think that they can do what they want an when they an how they want. It is so wrong on so many levels it's unreal. Nobody should be treated in a way that they are uncomfotable in any form. I do know it takes alot of courage to admit that something has happened an I admire that. Anna I always have a open ear if you need for no matter what even if it is to vent.

[AnnaAbyss]

Thanks Anthony for your nice words. :)
I'm sorry to hear that some of your friends went through the same thing.

[MerAnthony]

Anytime Anna that's what friends are for. Anybody else here will tell you the same.

[AnnaAbyss]

That's so sweet.~ :rollover: :D