Unrealistic Expectations

[BayouMermaid]

Today my father told me that I'm too old to be living at home, that I am wasting my talents, and that I could be doing so much better in life.

In this past year, I have accomplished so much. I was honored for 3 different academic awards, graduated at the top of my University with a 4.0 GPA, and got engaged to my high school sweetheart. I learned to scuba dive. I am currently in the process of publishing a children's book. I am starting my own mermaid entertainment company. I have been invited to work on an upcoming nature center in my area. I am working, creating, learning, and doing.

Despite this, I'm still not good enough. I put my everything into everything that I do, but I am still seen as lazy, childish, and incompetent.

Anybody else have to deal with unrealistic expectations?

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Yes. I deal with it for the past 40 years. I'm trying very hard to get a job so I can move far far away. But as it is right now, in terms of work, the older you are the less chance of landing full time work because employers want cheap unskilled labor.

But I am stuck. Try to keep your hopes up, it feels like shit trying to keep a happy face all the time when you're so frustrated and depressed. Best thing to do I've found is to ignore the problem and just keep doing whatever makes you happy. Because dwelling on it will make you and your feelings worse and that's not fun.

[Mermaid Lorelei]

My parents are too polite to outright say it, but they hint quite frequently that they think my mermaid career plans should be just a hobby and that I need to focus on getting a 'real' job. Mind you, my fiancé (who I'm marrying in a month!) is totally onboard with me and has been arguing with my parents about my ability to make a job out of something I love. I was also a 4.0 student, graduated valedictorian from my high school, was awarded student of the year at my college, and have numerous other random accolades. Is it enough? Apparently not.

It really boils down to how you feel (and your significant other, in this case) and your quality of life. After that, everything else is opinion and fluff.

[Meshy]

I wasn't always a 4.0 student, in fact for most of my JR/high school life I was barely a 2.5 GPA student, but I worked my ass of and in the end graduated with a 4.2! I tried college, but only being able to afford JR college locally, and finding that most everyone else ended up there too and having to take the same classes I had just taken... I decided it wasn't for me. I never did fit into the box that public schools tried to squeeze me in... I ended up choosing a tech/trade school. I'm a Veterinary Tech. But my sister who breezed through school, sports, drill team (flag/riffle tossers with the marching band), dance team, graduated from college first and her degree is in communications. She's not using it. I have used mine. I've been married for 10 years, she's been with her boyfriend for about 5 (she doesn't have short relationships and he's awesome and I'm WAY happy for her). We've both got accessory's that we make, she scarves, me jewelry...She's got connections so she can sell her stuff at a weekly farmers market... I've applied, but they don't like my stuff/there's no room. I'm still the loser, dreamer, childish, immature one.

I love my family, and they love me, but they just don't get it when I go to reniassance faires, but do when she goes to burning man. Point being, doesn't matter if I'm "better" than my sister, taking her out of the equation even... I'd be that anyway because I'm different. I've come to embrace my weirdness and my different-ness. And while approval would be awesome, I don't need it. My mom thinks I've relapsed into some childish phase of my life, my dad thinks being a mermaid must be fun, but doesn't fully get it.

Know that you've got a giant forum full of other mermaid "weirdo's" who fully support and love you for your mermaidy-ness and we love you for all you've accomplished! You've done some awesome stuff! I doubt I'll ever be published, or afford to take scuba lessons, so you've got me way beat in those departments! Also, I lived at home till I got married, great way to save money to find a place to live for when you do get married! If you didn't hear it from them, hear it from me, Congratulations on all you've accomplished this year! May your next year be even better!!

[Mermaid Jessica Pearl]

Mostly on myself. I started out studying law at my state's top university. Then I thought "Screw this I'm going to go to art school". So I did. There I met Amelia. One day after I finished my degree she said "Screw this I wanna be a mermaid". I said "Me too!". So we did. And I am much much happier for it. I think as long as you are faithful to yourself then you are going in the right direction.

[Echidna]

In my experience, parents don't do this because they think you're lacking.
On the contrary, they think you have so much potential and are "wasting" it.

"You speak 5 languages fluently, why don't you get a job as translator and make loads of money?!"
"You write such great stuff, why don't you become a bestseller author and make millions of $$?!!"

I get that a lot.
The unrealistic part is not me wanting to do something else, but my parents not getting that hardly anyone can make a living out of translating jobs or writing books.

Especially when the stuff I write wouldn't appeal to 99% of humanity xD

[Aziara]

Hang in there, Bayou Mermaid. Perhaps your dad has just realized that with you engaged, you'll be leaving soon, so he's trying to pack in some last minute advice. But it sounds like he hasn't been paying very much attention, to just gloss over everything you've accomplished recently. I did notice that my dad tended to ignore me right up until I got engaged (to the point of forgetting my age sometimes), then he morphed into ultra-dad--and it was a bit annoying because I had no idea how to deal with it.

[Theta]

People are going to angry and upset when you don't do what they expect you to do, particularly if what you're doing is outside the mainstream of things. Don't let him get to you. Just keep doing on what you're doing- in the end, you have to do things for yourself, not for other people.

[BayouMermaid]

Thanks y'all. I just really needed to vent that day. I feel a lot better now :)

[Meilyn]

Mostly on myself. I started out studying law at my state's top university. Then I thought "Screw this I'm going to go to art school". So I did. There I met Amelia. One day after I finished my degree she said "Screw this I wanna be a mermaid". I said "Me too!". So we did. And I am much much happier for it. I think as long as you are faithful to yourself then you are going in the right direction.

Remember, no one's living your life except you. In the end, you'll see "As long as you are faithful to yourself then you are going in the right direction" is all that matters. Always do what you wanna do, not what others want you to do when it comes to you :) my mermaid life started like mermaid Jessica's. But mine started in the middle of the night with a picture I saw over a year ago that made me totally change my life lol. "Holy fish cakes, it's possible! I'm gonna be a mermaid too!"

My entire biological family has no clue of what I'm doing but my "adopted" family and my friends fully support me and that's what matters to me :)
Don't feel alone, you have a whole website of people supporting you!

[Meilyn]

Before this mermaid path, I was in the Army with hopes, ambitions, and schooling of joining the C.I.A. by the time I hit my current age that I am now lol. And now I'm just living my life as a barista and enjoying the bipolar weather here in Washington state. My parents expectations for me aren't really unrealistic but boy did I fail my mother LOL. But I'm happy. That's all that matters to me. Screw the world.

[AptaMer]

Today my father told me that I'm too old to be living at home, that I am wasting my talents, and that I could be doing so much better in life.

In this past year, I have accomplished so much. I was honored for 3 different academic awards, graduated at the top of my University with a 4.0 GPA, and got engaged to my high school sweetheart. I learned to scuba dive. I am currently in the process of publishing a children's book. I am starting my own mermaid entertainment company. I have been invited to work on an upcoming nature center in my area. I am working, creating, learning, and doing.

Despite this, I'm still not good enough. I put my everything into everything that I do, but I am still seen as lazy, childish, and incompetent.

Anybody else have to deal with unrealistic expectations?

Well, whatever anybody else says, BayouMermaid, I think you're doing amazing.

Like they say Down Under- Good On Ya!

Keep up the good work. Also, all you other posters here too.