How to tell parents? (I know, this has probably been posted before...)

[Lostariel Telrunya]

So, I have come to a dilemma. I love the idea of mermaiding, and I am working on a fabric tail right now, but my family doesn't really know exactly that I like mermaiding, or mermaids, or anything similar. At all.

I'm not quite sure what to do. I really want to tell somebody, but I'm not sure how to. See, I have a lot of hobbies, and some of them are weird. Normally my family will kind of find out about it, and then laugh at me. After that I won't really mention it again, just so that we don't start a big kerfuffle over the whole thing. The problem, is that now my family just thinks that all of my hobbies are just fads, and that I only am interested in it for a short amount of time. I got into mermaiding about 4 years ago, but that was just something that, at the time, I thought I would just get laughed at for again, so I didn't mention this hobby at all to anyone. I'm 16, so I know that my mom will just tell me that it's childish and a dumb thing to put energy or money into. I got a whole bunch of fabric from my grandma a couple of years ago, and there was enough spandex to make a tail, so I started on it, but I only worked on it when I knew I was home alone for a long period of time ( a couple of days or so). I managed to get a sheet of lexan for an art project, and I just got an extra one for a fluke, but that one broke, so now I don't have a fluke. I don't have a driver's license (yet, I'm going to take the test soon), so I can't really get the supplies I need to keep going with it. I also feel horrible, because I've kept this a secret from literally everyone I know. I hate not having anyone who understand it, and I feel like if I do tell my family, they won't take it seriously AT ALL, and my mom will just scold me for being childish. They probably won't let me spend money (MY money) on something that is 'just a phase'. I'm not really sure how to tell my family about it without them thinking I'm insane. I've kind of decided that once I finish my tail, I'm going to tell one of my friends (she has kind of hinted at her love for faeries, so I figured she would be the best one to tell), but I feel like I'm lying to my family, and I don't want to anymore.

Does anybody else have this problem? Did you deal with it, and if so, how?

[Aquos Savar]

I ALSO HAVE THAT DIFFICULTY. How to approach that topic?

I love mermaiding, im going to get my tail with a friend so my parents don't know, and hide it in the closet.

But, Lostariel...If someones finds out you love mermaiding, it's not the end of the world. Your parents will still love you, no matter what choice you do in life. Im a certified scuba diver, my mother had her doubts about that, since it's REALLY DANGEROUS, but she just had to deal with it, and she still loves me. After all successes, failures, lessons, liking, dislikings, my parents still love me...But no way im going to tell them i have half a fish in my closet...that will be fullfilled as time goes on. You decide.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Straight up tell them. Own it and if they say it's weird then say yes it is but it's fun and every time they make a negative comment "yeah but it's fun".
What I did was I told them about the community first. I told them about mermaids and then a week or so later I said stuff like "that would be fun" and then I just gradually made them mer parents. They had no say really

[Mermaid Wesley]

Oh and another thing would be drop the money bomb. Tell them that you want to do this professionally down the line for birthday parties. Moneymaking is a good incentive ;) they might still scold you but you should just shrug it off and stick to your guns. They'll catch on.

[AniaR]

Send them my video for parents where my dad is talking :D So You Want to be a Mermaid: Vlog9 What do Parent…: http://youtu.be/D32TgZ7bJVw

[Lorelei]

Honestly, I've had the same problem before. My parents knew I loved mermaids all growing up, so when I kind of slipped into mermaiding, it was an easier transition. My nanny got my first tail for me when I was around 11 and my parents both thought it was a phase I'd grow out of (of course I didn't). My dad used to really make fun of me and has only recently calmed down about it. He used to call my tail a "stupid flipper" and I could never tell to my parents about it or they'd just roll their eyes or try to remind me to have 'realistic expectations' about my life and career.
As I've gotten older (now finally 21 and living on my own with my supportive boyfriend), I've gotten more confident in realizing that this life is my own. My parents will always poke and make fun of it, sometimes in an innocent way or sometimes in a hurtful way, that's something I'm just going to have to get through, but they are my parents and they will love me no matter what I do and I need to focus on something that makes me happy.
I know it's difficult, especially right now, but it will get better. It may be hard to tell them, but if they love you, they will get through it and still love you until the end no matter what you're doing. They just want you to be happy and successful. :) I'm not sure exactly how your parents are, but remember if they do scold, it's only temporary. They will calm down and even if they don't, it's your life. You need to focus on what is going to make you happy in the end. Trust me, it's worth it.

[AniaR]

this should work better


http://youtu.be/D32TgZ7bJVw

In it I interview my dad about having a daughter for a mermaid, he gives advice to parents, and I give advice to mers!

[Cadence]

I agree with Wesley, play up the business factor! I told my mom the other day after spending the whole summer doing research and planning (and mostly lurking on this forum), and she reacted similarly to Raina's father; at first kinda shrugged it off as another one of my ideas, but eventually laughed and said something along the lines of "if you can make it work, go for it." Even if the professional angle isn't necessarily what you want out of mermaiding, playing up that side of it shows you're thinking about the future and finances and responsibility, which pretty much all parents love to see!

[MermaidCecelia]

I think all parents will be concerned that its just a fad cause of things like the expenses of mwrmaiding (tails,accessories , photography) , and also some might find any petty reason to disapprove such as if your male or female or your age , I think what you need to do is be straight up about it , and confident , of course don't be MEAN about it but tell them their opinions do not matter , even if they do matter. You got to PROVE your serious , don't let them prevent you from completing your tail project. Being 16 as well I know there is a lot of pressure for approval and acceptance, but you got to remember its YOU you want to do this for
As for the problem with them with being able to get supplies. You can always order the supplies off amazon like I did sometimes , and purchase one of the gift cards at a convenience store so I wouldn't need to have to use a parents credit card , and use only money you earned or saved up for the fluke , show that you can manage your spending
Explain to them that mermaiding isn't a child's sport , its an art and sport that people of all ages participate in
It will take time for them to ease Into this idea, just stay confident , flip your fins and they will go along with it

[Lostariel Telrunya]

Thank you all so much! I think I mag wait for a less busy time in our lives to tell them. Both of my brothers are going to university in a few weeks, so I think they may be a bit put off by another thing that requires money. I love that video Raina! I still am not sure how comfortable anyone would be after I tell them. Thanks again everybody!

[Nana]

I just told them. They even helped me pay for the tail which I don't know how I can ever repay them this. I offered them to not want any gifts for christmas and my birthday for the next 3 years. I really love them.

I bet the telling the parents might be REALLY difficult for men though. Anyone got experience in that?

[Mermaid Daenerys]

I'm in a pretty similar position to you, Lostariel, and right now... I don't have any idea how to broach the subject with my parents. I've never been girly; I was the daughter they'd find up trees or playing with stick swords or reading, and that translated into some unusual hobbies - horse riding, archery, broadsword fighting and polercise to name a few. Therefore I have slightly more leniency than my siblings as I'm the child that's always doing odd things, and it will most likely be dismissed as yet another attempt to make a fool of myself in public. They already laugh at everything I do (apart from the polercise, which they don't talk about) so I kind of figure that the worst that happens is they laugh at me some more, and my mermaiding is yet another thing to be dissected and ridiculed at the dining table.
Thankfully, my girlfriend is already bouncing up and down at the opportunity to be my mertender, and I have a mer-friend in Skye and a couple other mates who think it's cool... but my big problem is my uni flatmates. All 15 of them. They're gonna notice that I'm sewing and painting a gigantic mermaid tail sooner or later, and I'm not really sure how to sell it to them without adding another point to my score as Weirdo of the Flat...

[Mermaid Wesley]

Hey when it comes to mermaids, college age girls all secretly want to put a tail on anyways ;) you can always say it's a Halloween costume to warm them up to it too.

[MerShellly]

Check out these video's. They helped me a lot.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1CgGm20rtg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-R2hC_EZHw&list=PL041CE9D5E7405F89&index=10

[Mermaid Wishbone]

I can totally relate to you! I'm 16, and I love mermaids, especially swimming like one~! My dad was okay with it because that means I could practice swimming more efficiently under pressure (unless you call 6 feet strong~). As for the tail, he doesn't mind. Oh gosh, my mom, on the other hand, is not so pleased with my interest including my belief in ghosts. My mom just didn't want me to spend lots of money for this "frivolous scheme", but she was okay with swimming and dressing up like one... sorta on the dressing up part.

Your family is not going to abandon you, and I think they laugh at your hobbies is because they haven't thought of their teen daughter pursuing these kinds of things. If you have an outgoing, sensible family (or maybe there are other characteristics I'd add) they laugh because it's a reaction to something that their brain can compute, but maybe secretly inside they would like to see how their daughter succeeds or passes time with her new activity.

I had to go all sci-ency on this one, but that was just my opinion :3