Merfolk on the Autism Spectrum

[Genevieve]

Any other mers on the spectrum? :rainbow: If so, what's your story?

I was diagnosed with autism 5 years ago. Now I'm an SLP, working primarily with kids who have autism, especially those who come from bilingual families. I have appeared on CNN talking about my experience growing up undiagnosed, and currently treating kids with an insider's perspective.

Even mers who aren't can probably relate, because being a mer means feeling that you are humanlike, but not quite there.

[AniaR]

There are quite a few. Sean (my merwrangler) was assessed for Autism as a kid, that was before it was a spectrum. They said no, but after my studies in the field I believe he likely falls on the spectrum.

[Merman Dan]

Even mers who aren't can probably relate, because being a mer means feeling like you are humanlike, but not quite there.

I'm fairly certain my parents hatched me from an egg they found on the side of the road, if that counts for anything. ;)

[Genevieve]

I'm fairly certain my parents hatched me from an egg they found on the side of the road, if that counts for anything. http://mernetwork.com/index/images/smilies/wink.png

For years, I was convinced that I too had to be an interspecies adoptee.



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[SeaGlass Siren]

My younger sister was also diagnosed with autism. It was severe before (couldn't speak or formulate sentences) but now she can.

[Capt Nemo]

High functioning aspbergers here.

[Echidna]

I'm fairly certain my parents hatched me from an egg they found on the side of the road, if that counts for anything. ;)

haha!
same.
Pretty sure I'm nowhere on any spectrum, but I've never really felt part of human society.

Edit, omg that comic LOL

[Mermaid Neri Elvina]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when I was 9 and Sensory Processing Disorder when I was 8. I am now 13 almost 14

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[deepblue]

Pretty sure I'm nowhere on any spectrum, but I've never really felt part of human society.

I fully understand this, too. One hand, I had a psych doc many years ago who identified several factors which made her feel I probably was born Asperger's. Other hand, I have trauma-related disorders which carry many of the same symptoms, and since they originated in early childhood, I think it would be very difficult to tell the difference at any later stage in life. So there have been years of me saying, "No, my situation just mimicks Aspergers...." and then years of "...okay, so it makes sense. But does it help me to know this? Does it matter for me, personally?"

So I haven't identified as having Asperger's as much as it fits, my disorders are a better framework from which to approach life and personal evolution, for me.

I don't know if there are a lot of people like me out there- neurologically atypical while also having trauma-based disorders as well as major depressive disorder, but if there are and you're reading this, just know I TOTALLY GET IT. You're not alone... unless I am...! ha.

[Genevieve]

I've met kids with a similar profile, as well as some who have both trauma in their background and a diagnosis of ASD. There are probably at least a couple floating around here. So, no, you are not alone. :hug:

[theredknight100]

sadly im also diagnosed with autism with PDD since I was a baby and still have it, but as I grow older I try to be who I am even as an merfolk at heart with autism and trust me its not easy

[Vixy]

I am on it but very low, more dyspraxic then autistic. A couple of friends and a friend's child is autistic.

[Ariel-Starfish]

I got diagnosed when i was a kid (lat age 8 I guess)
I learned alot when getting older, but still struggle with some stuff.

[Genevieve]

sadly im also diagnosed with autism with PDD since I was a baby and still have it, but as I grow older I try to be who I am even as an merfolk at heart with autism and trust me its not easy

You never outgrow it, but you can grow. But I feel for ya; it can be frustrating when it seems like everyone knows something that you don't.

What's the hardest part of being on the spectrum? Anybody found any cool advantages?

I never understand how people figure each other out so quickly. When I was in school, if the teacher said, "Get into groups," everyone would be partnered before she finished her sentence, and I'd be sitting there confused. I didn't really know how to ask, and when I tried, they'd tell me no. Sometimes it was too hard for me to join a group, so I'd independently complete a whole project meant to be done by several people. I still have trouble with this. I can never tell when people are done speaking and it's my turn, so I interrupt or leave long pauses before I speak. There are tons of communication things that drive me (and probably most of you) to delirium. I also have a hard time with noise. Too many people talking at once is especially bad.

But I have a memory like nobody's business. I never need to take notes; I can just sit and listen and I remember everything I need. I speak 7 languages. Spent some time living in Germany, some time in France, and recently went to Mexico to try out the languages. Pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I felt more peaceful and normal while I was away than I do at home, which surprised me.

[Mermaid Neri Elvina]

You never outgrow it, but you can grow. But I feel for ya; it can be frustrating when it seems like everyone knows something that you don't.

What's the hardest part of being on the spectrum? Anybody found any cool advantages?

I never understand how people figure each other out so quickly. When I was in school, if the teacher said, "Get into groups," everyone would be partnered before she finished her sentence, and I'd be sitting there confused. I didn't really know how to ask, and when I tried, they'd tell me no. Sometimes it was too hard for me to join a group, so I'd independently complete a whole project meant to be done by several people. I still have trouble with this. I can never tell when people are done speaking and it's my turn, so I interrupt or leave long pauses before I speak. There are tons of communication things that drive me (and probably most of you) to delirium. I also have a hard time with noise. Too many people talking at once is especially bad.

But I have a memory like nobody's business. I never need to take notes; I can just sit and listen and I remember everything I need. I speak 7 languages. Spent some time living in Germany, some time in France, and recently went to Mexico to try out the languages. Pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I felt more peaceful and normal while I was away than I do at home, which surprised me.
I am now pretty much used to doing group work without a group. My memory is pretty good too!

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[Genevieve]

I am now pretty much used to doing group work without a group. My memory is pretty good too!

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They don't teach that skill in school, not outside of "get along and share". It's expected to just happen.

[deepblue]

The most hated words in school: "Everyone get in groups." and "Line up for team selection."

I still get anxiety from school supply aisles every September because school was a nightmare. lol yes, the rest of my life was too much of the time, but the fact is, school was... all about not being understood. By almost anyone. Group activities meant having ideas that no one else understood. Man I hated school. Even being in 'gifted classes' didn't help, I was just misunderstood at a higher level. :p (Kudos to the high school geography teacher who let me do my final assignment as a report on Atlantis.)

I'm both glad that there are people here who get this and not glad because I hate that anyone ever has to feel this way. Thank goodness for my boyfriend... if it weren't for him, my daughter wouldn't have any help with friend-making, but he's really good at helping her. He's really good at doing about anything he feels like, and I am still envious of people who can just talk to anyone they feel like talking to.

[theredknight100]

You never outgrow it, but you can grow. But I feel for ya; it can be frustrating when it seems like everyone knows something that you don't.

What's the hardest part of being on the spectrum? Anybody found any cool advantages?

I never understand how people figure each other out so quickly. When I was in school, if the teacher said, "Get into groups," everyone would be partnered before she finished her sentence, and I'd be sitting there confused. I didn't really know how to ask, and when I tried, they'd tell me no. Sometimes it was too hard for me to join a group, so I'd independently complete a whole project meant to be done by several people. I still have trouble with this. I can never tell when people are done speaking and it's my turn, so I interrupt or leave long pauses before I speak. There are tons of communication things that drive me (and probably most of you) to delirium. I also have a hard time with noise. Too many people talking at once is especially bad.

But I have a memory like nobody's business. I never need to take notes; I can just sit and listen and I remember everything I need. I speak 7 languages. Spent some time living in Germany, some time in France, and recently went to Mexico to try out the languages. Pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I felt more peaceful and normal while I was away than I do at home, which surprised me.

I understand all that and never out grow it ether I have the same as you only I have an hard time with my autism is having troble remembering somethings like peoples names (( you need that if you work)) and having troble akeing friends due to the autism plus at school is even hard back in the 90's teachers were ruff on me and they told me that I wood never read and wright or do anything (( that's way my typing is so bad)) but I became homeschooled and still learning on it, I hope to be good at something something and prove them wrong

[Capt Nemo]

Math for me is terrible. I'd forget everything as soon as I go out the door. The formulas that I use all the time I do remember, but a quadratic equasion---gone! Also have never had a girlfriend in 47 years. I just can't ask! It's like hitting a brick wall when you try to open your mouth. And the problem is, girls don't ask guys. I also have to make a picture of things go in my mind before I do them, so I don't multitask very well. But the picture can act as a 3D cad program which is great for building things. I've had stage managers pull me from one job and put me on another, and another, and another, just as I get things figured out but before completion, which shuts me down. At that point, I have to run and hide for awhile to try to get my brain out of meltdown. Thankfully those SM's are few.

Our family has it running down my father's side. Grandpa, uncle, dad, me, sister, both nephews (one more severe). Maybe it's a good thing I probably won't reproduce.

[Mermaid Leilani]

I'm on the spectrum, I've known for most of my life but it wasn't until middle school *cough hell cough* when I realized what it meant to have autism. When I was younger my parents would have to speak to me in third person because the whole language thing just didn't click with me all too well. Making friends and understanding sarcasam was and has always been an uphill battle but I've been working on that. I also have a bad habit of stimming during class (sketching) and talking to myself :) Now I'm part of a gate path group called ASC, and I also have been speaking at schools and teacher panels. It's good to be part of ASC with others who understand whats going through my head even when I don't even, it's like having a posse of big brothers :cool:

[Echidna]

The most hated words in school: "Everyone get in groups." and "Line up for team selection."

the rest of my life was too much of the time, but the fact is, school was... all about not being understood. By almost anyone. Group activities meant having ideas that no one else understood. Man I hated school. Even being in 'gifted classes' didn't help, I was just misunderstood at a higher level. :p

you just described my school experience.
sums up my time at universities as well :p
Natural science wasn't half bad, but the humanities and arts at university :headwall:
the curriculum consisted of toadying up to guys who knew not a quarter of what I learned by myself at home.
I'm convinced only a masochist can make it through to a higher degree (unless dimwitted to dull the pain of pointlessness).

[MermaidRuby]

I was diagnosed with PDD/NOS when I was 9 and then it was changed to Asperger's Syndrome when I was 19. I figured out I had Asperger's 5 years before the professionals did. I really wanted to scream at them, "IT TOOK YOU 10 YEARS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I HAVE?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH CRAP I'VE HAD TO LIVE THROUGH?" It made me so mad that it took them so long to figure it out. But I showed them! I have my college degree, a good steady job that correlates to my degree, a loving boyfriend who wants to propose to me this summer, and a dog that I raised from a puppy who I love with all my heart.

[Chaemy]

I have Asperger's syndrome. I was diagnosed with that when I was around 11-12 years old.
Many years ago when I heard about Aspergers and how smart and cool people with aspergers could be. I actually wanted to have Aspergers then. I asked mom over and over again if she was sure that I didn't had Aspergers and I was a little bit sad because she said "no" all the time. But a couple of years later she wanted me to sit down so she could tell me that I have that diagnose anyway. :)

[deepblue]

Does anyone know of how an adult goes about being getting a diagnosis of anything on the Autism spectrum? Or having it ruled out, of course. The doc I saw who said she thought I should see someone who specialises in it didn't tell me who that would be, and it was years ago.

Of the factors that fit with me, one has just become much more clear to me and can't have anything to do with my difficult childhood.

I read this article, and the sound issue is exactly what I deal with, and what is making life extremely difficult right now. (smells are the same kind of thing, this whole walking around feeling like an exposed nerve is wearing on me.)

http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2015/12/autism-research-gaba-neurotransmitter

This esp:

"Autism is often described as a disorder in which all the sensory input comes flooding in at once, so the idea that an inhibitory neurotransmitter was important fit with the clinical observations," said Caroline Robertson, the lead researcher, in a statement. While many of us can simply tune out everyday sights or sounds—say, the sight of a grate on the sidewalk or the noise of a car driving by—those with autism are inundated with a deluge of sensory information that can turn everyday environments into distressing experiences.

Distressing. To say the least.

I also went ahead and took a 'do you have Asperger's test' online, and while it's not a diagnosis, the score made me think that yes, I should look into this. If nothing else, perhaps I can find a new framework from which to approach life. Moving north of my usual area has made it all insanely worse, I feel like I've been yanked out of my skin and it's still down in the places I love and want to live in and no amount of rationalizing or logic-ing myself is working, and I'd seriously take Valium or something, if I could. I can't take most meds. Over-sensitivity to them prevents that.

And while, if it were just that hearing sounds is like a thousand cuts, I'd not think anything of it, it's that along with other things, it makes me think more and more I really need to seek out a professional who can tell me if this is what I am dealing with, have it confirmed, and give me some tools to deal with what is happening.

[Mermaid Wesley]

I would assume a psychiatrist. I'm not sure but that's where I'd start


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[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

I am also on the autism spectrum

[Takahao]

I'm on the spectrum as well, I have ASD. I was a socially dysfunctional pocket of spaghetti for the majority of my life, with no thanks to all the crappy school-assigned therapists and counselors I've had, none of which save one or two helped me, or recognized any other problems I had like maladaptive day dreaming, and depression as a result of severe bullying for most of my life in school. That coupled in with the separation of my parents, I hardly ever get to see my dad anymore because he lives on the opposite side of the country :/. I'm a tiny bit okayer now. I'm either too broken or too angry to let anything affect me now, I just bottle everything up until I have a freak meltdown every once in a while.

I still suck at speaking, comprehending emotions, and interacting with others, but at least I can say I'm a bit of a Daywalker now. Most people don't realize I'm autistic, but then again I don't really talk to many people outside of my friend group.

[deepblue]

Two years since the last time I saw this thread, and I'm still not finding a pyschdoc or anyone who will do an eval for adults that doesn't cost at least a thousand dollars. Honestly. When I finally heard back from one of the many places I emailed, they said they do adult avals, it's a six-eight hour eval. $150 per hour. Four hours actual testing/observation, and the rest is them evaluating. They do not take insurance.

Meanwhile, two of my friends have been diagnosed in the past year, both ASD. Both of them I already loved to pieces because they understand me where no one else does, they are both so much like me in the way we think and approach things. Neither was evaluated in my state, so they can't refer or recommend. However, my friend in AZ paid far less, and in installments.

I can understand why evaluating an adult is more difficult, the fact is that I've learned to mimic the behaviour of others as much as possible in situations where I know I'll need to keep people from thinking I'm so weird or such because it will have a negative impact on whatever I'm trying to achieve, and I've learned to stop so many of the things I used to do, but I wish more than anything that I'd had someone eval my situation as a child so I'd have known earlier, if indeed I am on the spectrum. I stopped my own damn hand-flapping so many years ago because I was told it meant I must have OCD, and I know I'm not- I know OCD people, I'm grateful I am not living with it. And then I read that yes, the reason it's difficult to eval an adult is that they've learned to mimic normal behaviour and hide their symptoms. But it's so exhausting at this point.

Unfortunately, I find myself giving up. I'm so tired. I've stopped trying to swim, because the idea of dealing with people is too much. I'm never on this forum anymore because my communications skills are no better online than in real life, and I clash with so many people unintentionally, and I really don't want to. Rather than continue to leave people flustered or frustrated, I'm going silent. I don't want that, either.

[gay-mermaid]

While i was originally diagnosed with adhd, the medication never worked. I noticed i have a LOT of symptoms of autism, and will be getting an autism screening soon

[TieDyedNereid]

I'm Autistic too. I got my diagnosis at age 26 in 2015. I actually blog about my experiences and whatever else at Autistic Faerie (http://fae.dragonadventures.net).

[Agent Dragon]

I was tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder a few years ago (back when it was still called Asperger’s) and they said I didn’t have it. I have a lot of autistic friends though. Nothing pisses me off more than when people use “autistic” and a synonym for “stupid.” I heard that a lot when I was in high school and I wanted to scream every time.


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[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

i thought i have already replied to this thread like as the first one when it was posted but apparently not but i am also on the spectrum for higher functioning autism but lower functioning than aspergers syndrome and my sister has been telling me about the morons using autism as a synonym for dumb or stupid and i do not appreciate it even online its like that i started homeschooling to stop getting bullied but there is so much ignorance in this world no one will ever know how fabulously different we are:swoon::pearl::mermaid kiss:

[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

i thought i have already replied to this thread like as the first one when it was posted but apparently not but i am also on the spectrum for higher functioning autism but lower functioning than aspergers syndrome and my sister has been telling me about the morons using autism as a synonym for dumb or stupid and i do not appreciate it even online its like that i started homeschooling to stop getting bullied but there is so much ignorance in this world no one will ever know how fabulously different we are:swoon::pearl::mermaid kiss: and also my brother is lower functioning autism and he cant talk and he elopes/escapes the house and stuff... and he even goes to a special private school just for autism
and its expensive :P but if i where in public/private school i would share a room with other autistic children and he takes 1 on 1 and teachers assistaints and aids to care for him at school .................................................. ............















:rollover::rollover::group hug::highfive:and we are besties

[vabs]

Not sure if I am, nor have any diagnosis.  Did have a couple of people inquire whether I had ADHD though.  If I did, I think I developed it based on the nature of the work I'd been doing for the past decade.  Hindsight, I think some asked because of the nature/nuture debate. My child is ADD. I think that diagnosis has really improved our relationship as well as caused me to grow and has definitely enabled me to relate more with others. It surprises me how our society under-utilizes all the information we have on ASD, ADHD, PDD, ODD, SPD, etc. and it's SUCH a wealth of information! Granted, I find I don't have as much patience for adults (mostly any driver that is in the left lane going slower than traffic, turning without a signal, driving faster/way slower than the posted speed limit, etc.) as I did even 5 years ago. Regardless, so long as we practice the golden rule, Dr. Seuss' saying is still true: those that matter don't mind, those that don't matter mind. Just take a breath and remember who matters. ;) You have this and you can do it!

[AptaMer]

Just so you all know, Catherine Kim, a blogger with Asperger's, did a series of reviews on self-testing sites, starting here

https://musingsofanaspie.com/2012/11/20/taking-the-aspie-quiz/

[vabs]

Interesting page, AptaMer! Thanks for the link!

[BlueCorvidae]

I've had a therapist and two doctors suggest that I may have it, but I've never pursued an official diagnosis. If I have it, it's not something that is driving me to hurt people or hinder my own life like bipolar or borderline personality disorder can. I have been diagnosed with ADD and I know I come across as a bit weird to people, and I got bad grades back in high school, but honestly on that front I don't really care. :0

[vabs]

I think you're on the nose with it - life evens out anyway! I'm not too worried about getting any diagnosis as I know enough about who I am, what I want in life and where we're going. I just have to make sure my 'to do' list is always made and ready to get done. ;)

[deepblue]

TL;DR: I want a dx for my other doctors, but I'm not getting one so fine, and how about that deep touch pressure?

I want a diagnosis because it will affect the way the doctors who evaluate my disorders see them and the rest of the picture. I believe the whole picture is always a better place to come from. But unfortunately, as I've done research, there are a few things becoming more clear: 1. At my age, a diagnosis tends to rely heavily on hours of observation as well as a basic eval for behaviours. 2. This is because the older one gets, the more we learn to adapt to mimic so-called normal behaviour and traits. This is absolutely correct. Unfortunately, it obscures the observable behaviours that would confirm a diagnosis. And 3. My other diagnoses make it difficult to glean what is the result of the disorders that I live with vs the way I was born, ie., neuro-atypical, autism spectrum, etc.

For years I did not understand how one could 'have' Asperger's and still have certain other disorders. I really did not understand at all. A lot of research later, I do understand and it is much more clear. One is born neuro-atypical, it's a part of one's nature to be autistic if one is, wherever you may fall on the spectrum. Disorders such as the trauma-induced that I live with came later. I was confusing the former for something that happens later, somehow, or is the result of some outer force. Which is so very wrong- no, I never thought it was vaccines, not at all. I just did not understand and now I do. I was born neuro-atypical (and had a psychiatrist tell me she believed that I was, as well as two others mention that I baffled them due to various things that could actually be attributed to the autism spectrum.

However, I've given up on the idea of a diagnosis. No one will get back to me or they want a fortune. But it doesn't matter outside of wishing it were in my chart. I'm so relieved when I think of myself in this way- I'm okay, I'm just on the spectrum. There is nothing wrong with the way I communicate, or the way I need to do things. Yes, I've got pretty severe depression, and I have bad anxiety, but you learn to live with those overtime (at least that's the hope, and it's a constant challenge, but it hasn't taken me out yet), and I have PTSD and dissociative disorders because of trauma in childhood, but I started out neuro-atypical. I was the girl with the ridiculously strong sense of smell, hearing, and touch. Who hated to be touched, who was told to smile and never believed when I did say I was happy or grateful because it did not show. And now, as an adult, I'm only starting to unravel and unpeel all the layers I took upon myself to assimilate enough to maybe be understood, and it never really worked. So now I'm leaving performative emotions to when they are necessary, like a fluently known second language.

All that said, how many of you find that wearing a mermaid tail is like about the most comforting thing on the planet? That tightly wrapped feeling. I looked that up last year. Deep touch pressure. The same reason I love corsets. They make me feel stronger, and they calm me and then if I'm in the pressure long enough, it carries with me like a blissy afterglow for a while after the pressure is gone. My husband also somehow manages to wrap me in his embrace in such a way that brings me the same type of bliss, and after will tuck/wrap a blanket tightly around my legs and feet up to my shoulders. When I'm on the third day of heavy anxiety and the adrenaline taste has been in my mouth for days, this is the only thing that helps and makes it stop. (ps I can't take meds for anxiety or depression, or almost anything else.)

[NorthSeaAlaria]

Me too! I was diagnosed with ASD at 18 after a horrific time managing A Levels in sixth form and having to fight for an assessment the whole time.
I’d always struggled in school like hell but despite having learning mentors since I was in year 5, no one noticed what was really up. My old headmistress who’s a sort of family friend says it was probably because I still did pretty well in exams and was too quiet. I was always pushed to do my best when it mattered but was known to have major concentration issues. Hell I got the equivalent of about 14 or 15 GCSEs because my high school (despite being a terrible one) was ambitious as hell. Then at a different one for sixth form I had a stress breakdown and my psych teacher finally suggested something... except he said I might be bipolar and recommended medication. We went to the GP instead who waved that off immediately and said to see the educational psychologist, who set off the quest for an autism assessment. God if I hadn’t been able to get it when I did, I might not have made it through university let alone got a First.

It’s really nice to know there are plenty of mers with different disabilities. Out of my little pod all three of us have at least one condition or another! And since I’d had such bad luck trying to work as an official “employee” for some jobs in the past due to their not fully understanding, it feels so good to be my own boss now as a pro entertainer with my own business, even if it is just new.

[ThisIsSammy]

I have to live my life being stuck with people saying I have Aspberger's Syndrome when it really isn't that big of a deal in my case. I was never late to speak! If anything, I was early. I could produce meaningful words by the age of one and to this day, English is one of my strong suits.
I would be totally convinced I was an interspecies adoptee if I didn't look so much like my father.