I'm going to be so nervous please help!!!!!

[Mermaid Nerida]

Hi! I'm Mermaid Nerida, and I have a problem... I have like, EXTREME social anxiety, and I'm not exactly 'great' at talking to people. I get really nervous, and freeze up. Making it an even more awkward situation. Also, since I'm still pretty young, I get the whole, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" Sorta thing. I really don't want to say, "Oh!I'm going to be a mermaid!" Adults already don't take me seriously as it is, I can't seem even more childish. The only person who knows that I'm going to be a mermaid is my mom. (And she is VERY supportive, thankfully.) PLEASE HELP! I NEED ADVICE!

[merstorm]

You have a huge heart and your mom is great. We all get nervous I know I get that way sometimes and I think ill give myself a heart attack if i keep it up. Just rember that one thing that makes you smile and think about that one thing it will Help you it does for me. And know this you have a great mom who knows you and loves you give her a big hug.

merstorm

[Sea Pearl]

I understand how you feel. I suffer from anxiety too and used to be painfully shy. I remember I was so incredibly nervous using my tail for the first time in public. But like merstorm mentioned just remember how much you love it and how much it makes you smile. Follow your dreams! That is wonderful too that your mum is so supportive.
You'll be fine!

[Lotus the Mermaid]

Hi! I'm Mermaid Nerida, and I have a problem... I have like, EXTREME social anxiety, and I'm not exactly 'great' at talking to people. I get really nervous, and freeze up. Making it an even more awkward situation. Also, since I'm still pretty young, I get the whole, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" Sorta thing. I really don't want to say, "Oh!I'm going to be a mermaid!" Adults already don't take me seriously as it is, I can't seem even more childish. The only person who knows that I'm going to be a mermaid is my mom. (And she is VERY supportive, thankfully.) PLEASE HELP! I NEED ADVICE!

Oh, sweetheart. I feel you. I have anxiety/depression as well. Being young and having dreams are both things that the world looks down upon. I don't ever want you to become a cynic, but hear me out: I've always had a really sensitive heart and always wanted people to like me. They will and then they won't. People are fickle. They have the potential for greatness and kindness and love, but that doesn't mean they always follow through with that potential! You have one great supporter and that's all you need! Moms are lifelines for their children growing up. I know mine was. I hope this doesn't sound preachy, but a Bible verse comes to mind:

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life" (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).

I hope that helps, sweetie. Many, many blessings to you on your mer journey and your life journey in general! You've got the passion and I know you'll make an amazing mermaid! :)

[Mermaid Nerida]

Thanyou so so much! Mernetwork has been the sweetest, most supportive place. And everyone is so accepting! Thanks!! Oh! And one more question! How exactly do I tell my family to call me Nerida, not my actual name? My father and his family are pretty skeptic about everything (my mother's side of the family is pretty free-spirited), and I don't have enough funds to make a sequin tail, (I don't even have a monofin.) I've brought up mermaiding to my best friend, and she's interested, too! I'm so happy MY best friend wants to mermaid with me! Thank you for answering my questions and helping me get through this tough time!
*Fishie Kisses*
Mermaid Nerida

*Edit*
When I read over this, I really never got to the point (there I go again) Lol! My questionn is, how do I get my fathers side of the family to think I'm legit about all this? I'm not very nervous around strangers because I probably won't ever see them again. But, my family... I'll be with them my whole life! When I brought up moving near a beach, I thought my mom was going to KILL me. I've never ever wanted to live far away from my family, but I've thought about it, and we came to the conclusion that my parents will live nearby wherever I go. (That makes me feel better about moving to southern Texas in about 3or 4 years). Thank you for answering my questions and making me feel better!

[Mermaid Kelda]

Just going to go ahead and ask, why do you want your family to call you Nerida?
I'm not sure anyone can give you specific advise on that, since we all (to my knowledge) keep our mermaid persona separate from our normal selves, so to speak. But, if you like the name Nerida and you think it's something you'd like to be called by, then that's your decision; an official name change, though, probably has to wait till you're an adult (assuming you're legally underage, since you said you're young), though I'm not sure of the specific laws in Texas. If you're really set on it, talk to your parents about it; though, you say your father's sceptical, so maybe it's best not to go that route till you've been mermaiding for a while and everyone can see you're serious about it.

[PearlieMae]

Not wanting to sound rude, but what do you care what they think? They don't own your life, it's yours to make of it what you will. Call yourself by your mer name, change it legally if you want, but your family will call you by whatever they know you as. You don't need anyone's approval to be a mermaid. Own it! If people don't want to associate with you because of your choices, then they are the ones who lose out.

:mermaid kiss:

[Princess Pearl]

Hi Nerida!

I'm also fairly new to mermaiding, but I've been working at various different character jobs for the past 10 years. I've been fairies, princesses, pirates and bar wenches. To this day I get looked at like I have three heads if I tell people that's what I do. I've found that I can answer the question "what do you do for a living?" in one of two ways.

A)I'm a singer, actor, puppeteer, storyteller and stage combatant.
B)I'M A PIRATE!

Option B is fun because I am the sort of terrible person that likes confusing people, but Option A encourages conversation a bit better. "Pirate" isn't a job that people understand. It's not something that I can put on my taxes, at least not if I don't want maritime police to come after me. That's because the character I'm playing is not the job. The service that I'm providing as that character is the job.

So what is it as a mermaid that attracts you? Do you want to be a children's entertainer, a model, do you want to make videos? Do you want to do educational presentations, do you want to use it as a platform for conservation work?

If you don't have answers for this, THAT'S FINE!!! Do you need to have answers? NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!! If you just enjoy the feel of swimming in a tail, losing yourself in the fantasy that you are a mythical creature, you can do that. Enjoy! You don't have to be a Hannah Fraser or a Mermaid Linden or a Raina to be a mermaid! Even THEY aren't mermaids all the time!

But if you want it to be serious, think of mermaiding like a business. You'll have a better idea of what you're goals are, and when you can state those goals in a way that people understand, they're more likely to be supportive.

[Mermaid Nerida]

I guess I should clarify more.. I don't want to be called Nerida out of character, I just don't want to be called 'Savannah' after I tell children my name is Nerida. That would ruin my mer-sona...

[Princess Pearl]

Ah, THAT I've got experience with! Preparing your family and friends is key. Explain to anyone who knows you ahead of time that, while you're performing, you have to go by Nerida, and that if they call you anything else, you'll react the same way you would if someone called you George. "Who's Savannah? My name is Nerida."

If it happens, apologize afterwards in private. Remind them that this is simply part of what you're doing and you don't mean any disrespect. Eventually they'll hopefully take the hint- though seven years on I still have to remind my boyfriend's Mom. :gah:

[Mermaid Kelda]

I guess I should clarify more.. I don't want to be called Nerida out of character, I just don't want to be called 'Savannah' after I tell children my name is Nerida. That would ruin my mer-sona...
Ah, okay. That makes it a lot simpler then ;) as Princess Pearl said, if you're doing this professionally, just explain to your parents that it's part of the act. Alternatively, you could tell children that Savannah is your human name, and your friend/parent/whoever doesn't know your mermaid name (or something. Be creative! When you're pretending to be something you're not, you need to be quick-thinking and imaginative).


If people don't want to associate with you because of your choices, then they are the ones who lose out.
While I totally agree with you, Pearlie, I'm not sure we should be advising that to people who are underage and live with their parents. We can't know what people's home environments are, and if it's someone's parents who don't want to associate with them, they're in trouble. Be open and honest about your choices, for sure, but when you don't have an option but to live with the people you live with, you need to use a bit of tact, & sometimes conpromise. When we're old enough to move out is when we can really let loose ;)

[Mermaid Nerida]

Thank you all so much! This really relieves every worry I had. And I love the idea if telling children that your friend/family doesn't know your mer-name. That's just genius!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

When they ask what you want to do, tell them you're an entrepreneur with a plan for your own performance business. It can be really a pain when people ask you this, and you know they're only asking as a way to then tell you what they think you should do. To those people, this sounds legit enough for their tastes. Or, you could tell them you're going to be a mermaid, and if they don't like it, spit water in their eye. The choice is up to you and depends on the situation! :) Some people are not worth the time, and you have no obligation to justify your choice to anyone, so sometimes the quick and easy answer that will protect you from negativity is the way to go.

As for the social anxiety, I recommend getting involved in some kind of performance activity. Acting is especially good for this. You might need to play a character for your mermaiding, and that can give you the distance to feel safe, since anyone's reactions would be to your character, and not you personally. Also, the more time you can log actually talking/interacting with people in a controlled way, the better you will feel. You might not be fully comfortable, but it will certainly help.

Your mom sounds awesome. As for other adults not taking you seriously, it's because they're too busy taking themselves WAY too seriously. Don't even let it bother you.

[Sherielle]

What Vrindavana said. There are many legit businesses that are performance related. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do that.

[Echidna]

ah yep, the good ol' western incompability with changing names xD

See, I have both European and Asian relatives.
In Asia, the custom of changing one's name several times (childhood name, teen name, adult name, business name, performer name, and various nicknames) in very common, and no one has a problem with it.
I told my asian relatives my new name once- and since then, they call me by it.

The western side, however...lol.
I told them, over and over and over, to NOT call me by the one name they have for me in front of customers, but of course, they'll yell it loudly all over the stage or wherever it happens.
They also do not seem to grasp the concept a name might be changing (because a child grew up and the old name doesn't fit anymore, or the youngster now picks a name for themselves, whatever).

I hope your family displays a tad more flexibility with this issue! :p

[merstorm]

You have a very understanding mom and I can say that your family seeing how much your into this will be there for you as well. Follow you heart and you dreams and things will work out for you. Everyone here has some great advice so welcome home mermaid nerida

merstorm

[Mermaid Nerida]

@merstorm, when you said welcome home, my eyes watered a little. I relly feel welcome here. Thank you for making me feel more at home here, allof you. This really is the sweetest community.

[PearlieMae]

While I totally agree with you, Pearlie, I'm not sure we should be advising that to people who are underage and live with their parents. We can't know what people's home environments are, and if it's someone's parents who don't want to associate with them, they're in trouble. Be open and honest about your choices, for sure, but when you don't have an option but to live with the people you live with, you need to use a bit of tact, & sometimes conpromise. When we're old enough to move out is when we can really let loose ;)


(I keep forgetting there are Youngs on here.)

[Nerdy Mermaid]

Just keep swimming! Follow your dream! It doesn't matter what others think of you, just yourself. And if you can't start a good conversation, all ya gotta do is say hi. The other person should do the talking. If that's not your style, then just go with the flow! Not ALL friendship relationships work out! Hope I helped! -Katie


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[Lira]

Usually when people ask I'll say I want to be a -professional- mermaid so they view it as an actual job ;)

[Merman Chatfish]

I notice there are quite a few people on here are shy and social anxiety (I am really shy and suffer from social anxiety and severe depression). Are there anyone who find they are much less shy when in a tail then legs?

[Nerdy Mermaid]

Yes!!!


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[Merman Chatfish]

Yes!!!


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Which I know happens in other professions, i know actors who are the same way...I just don't get how that works...still waiting on a tail though so maybe thats why I don't get it.

[telzey.amberdon]

​Don't stare at the two legs. They get shy.

[Mermaid Nerida]

​Don't stare at the two legs. They get shy.

So true!

[Fun123joker]

my advise is make it sound professional. if you make it sound like a long professional name they might think you have your future straight on!
insted of saying "im gonna be a mermaid"
say "im striving to go into the field of aquatic performing and aerobics"
you can make anything sound smart and professional
yesterday at dinner i was able to turn the term "ring spinner" into "central geoscopic alloy physicist"

(quick thing: i am not or atleast not trying to mock anyone who is actually a professional at things or your work. i understand and respect that it takes alot of effort to earn those titles. if you feel offended i will edit this post.)

[Mermaid Nerida]

^^ Thanks! That makes a lot of sense (way more than being like, "umm..... yah imma b a mermaid...k?")