Fish Out of Water

[Mermaid Oceanne]

*waves fin* Greetings from the grotto! My name is Oceanne, and I am seventeen years old.

I have had a fascination with mermaids for as long as I can remember. I was born in New Jersey in a small city with its own beach. For a while, we lived in a motel, but after my father's death, we were able to move to a bigger place.

I have yet to get a tail! I still need advice on what color, style, et cetera. i can only do fabric, though.

As it says in my bio, I have autism/Asperger's. In the DSM-IV it was known as Asperger's, but now, it is simply "Autism Spectrum Disorder". I am mentioning this because autism is what got me into mermaiding! I absolutely adore the calming effect that the water has on me. There is only one problem--

I cannot swim.

I swim underwater perfectly, but above it? No way! It is difficult for me to learn because of my experiences with nearly drowning when I was younger. It makes me deathly afraid of taking my feet off the shallow end. Also, because of my severe anxiety, I find it hard to hold my breath for very long, because this also reminds me of my experiences. Does anyone know how I can overcome these fears and become a better mermaid? I feel so outcasted.

Presently, I live just a few hours from the beach in northern Virginia. However, this will all change come August--I am going to college in Pittsburgh to study fashion design.

So, my beautiful merfolk, I am pleased to meet you all! I cannot wait to hear from you!

~Oceanne

[AniaR]

We have many mers on the autism spectrum here. :) welcome. I was curious about the name you picked, transmermaid. do you identify as trans? There are many mermaids who are trans here as well :)

[Mermaid Oceanne]

Yes, actually! Not binary trans, but genderfluid :)

Thank you for the welcome!


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[Miyu]

*waves* Halloo new mermaid! I am also on the nonbinary spectrum - I identify as an androgyne, myself :)

I have the same problems with adoring water and the relaxing effect and such... but I also have the hardest time swimming! I can float there for ages, but the second I need to REALLY swim, or hold my breath, apparently my body freaks out and it's rather ungraceful... :$ I'm hoping to get a swimmer's MP3 player for the holidays, in the hopes that it will relax and distract me enough to be able to swim like a proper mermaid (my pool has a fintastic deep end, and I'd love to not be terrified of it)!

[Mermaid Oceanne]

I think you all will be fintastic friends :)

"And it's rather ungraceful"--you made me smile! You all are the best.


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[MermaidMichelle]

Hello and welcome to Mernetwork, Oceanne! I am a transwoman myself who has not had any surgery done either; though I'm intersex with nonfunctional male genitalia and fully-functional breasts (which I grew naturally), I identify as fully female. I'm in the process of joining the Roman Catholic Carmelite Order (to eventually become a nun)!

I also worked as a lifeguard/water safety instructor for several years, and it seems to me that your main problem is confidence; it needs to be restored to overcome your Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I would suggest two things to help you off the bat:

i) Time your breath-holding out of the water, where there is no threat of drowning. Psychologically remind yourself of this time whenever you are in/underwater; it will help to keep you from panicking. You shouldn't freak out after ten seconds beneath the waves if you can hold your breath for 45!

ii) Enroll in a low-level adult swim course and progress through the levels at your own pace. Unless swimming lessons have changed drastically in the last ten years (more or less), you will work for some time on short "glides" which will acclimate you to surface-swimming before you start strokes and breathing while swimming. At 17 years old, you'll probably be the youngest in the class, so there should be no fear of feeling juvenile!

I hope I can help you, and I hope that you have a wonderful time here and being a mermaid! :mermaid kiss:

[Emmadives]

Hi! When I've taught kiddos swimming, the thing that can really be the jumping off point for more confidence is learning to float on your back. It helps you feel reassured that you can float at any time without any threat of drowning. It also helps you practice buoyancy breathing and helps you get used to a little water over your face from time to time without freaking out. When you're ready to try, maybe with a friend or instructor, practice floating to gain confidence!

[Mermaid Oceanne]

Thank you both!

I am rather afraid of having my feet leave the bottom, but, with practice, I am sure I can change that!

My current breath hold is 1:02! *fin slap*


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[Emmadives]

Try floating in the shallow end where you know you can stand up and touch no problem at any time! Have a friend or instructor support you under your back so you know someone's there until you feel ready to float without support. Good luck!

[Mermaid Oceanne]

Thank you so much :) you all have been so helpful and supportive!


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