Mermaid jokes.

[Mermaid Lunette]

Puns are also accepted and encouraged ^^


This is literally just a thread peeps can come in and just drop jokes. (preferable mermaid/water related though, so they can be used for kids later on if desired. But that isn't really so much as a rule for this thread but a suggestion.)

I will start:


how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
TENtickles

what is a sea monsters favorite snack?
Ships and Dip

what did the ocean say to the other ocean?
nothing, they just waved.

[Mermaid Aika]

Yay! The thread is made! Okay, here are some ones I have heard...

What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish!

Why did the mermaid blush?
She saw the big ship's bottom.

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They spend many years at C.

What part of a mermaid weighs the most?
The scales.

[Mermaid Lunette]

what do mermaids drive?
MERcedes.

[Mermaid Lunette]

why do you wear seashells?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big.

[Mermaid Aika]

Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.

What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra.

I found these jokes on this website: http://wordsinmocean.com/2012/03/20/ocean-jokes/

[Mermaid Lunette]

oh no, I just looked and there might already be a thread like this D:

(should I take this down or?)


Edit: oh wait no, it's different, it is more about turning everday phrases into mermaid puns. similar but different, i think it should be fine ^^

[Mermaid Aika]

I guess so.. Oh, well!

*Edit- okay then!

Edit- I should probably stop posting so much on this thread right now..

[Mermaid Lunette]

what is the opposite of a mermaid? no, it is NOT a merman, it is a merbutler.

what do you call an aquatic person's breast tissue?
Mam-mer-aries

[SeaGlass Siren]

oh god LOL!! you girls crack me up!

Have MER-cy on me!

[Mermaid Aika]

oh god LOL!! you girls crack me up!

Have MER-cy on me!

Lol! *sits in awkwardness trying to think of a good comeback*

[Mermaid Lunette]

where does a mermaid sleep?
On a water bed!

[Mermaid Aika]

where does a mermaid sleep?
On a water bed!

Or a kelp bed! :)

[Mermaid Lunette]

where do mermaids see movies?
at a dive-in

[Mermaid Galene]

If you make me laugh any harder online, I'll have to go the E-MERgency Room!

[Mermaid Aika]

What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?
Show me your mussels!

[Mermaid Aika]

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!

[Mermaid Lunette]

25793

[Mermaid Lunette]

this thread also accepts jokes in the form of memes (again, if possible, mermaid/water realted)

[Mermaid Aika]

25793

LOL! :lol:

[Mermaid Lunette]

25794

[Mermaid Aika]

25794

Gordon Ramsay!

[Mermaid Aika]

Did you hear about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one custoMER, but at least it serves a PORPOISE!

[PearlieMae]

What's the cruelest gift to give a mermaid?

Fishnet stockings.

[Mermaid Aika]

What's the cruelest gift to give a mermaid?
a Fishnet stockings.

Very true Pearlie!
By the way, did you hear about the red ship that collided with a blue ship? All the sailors were marooned.

[Marlin]

This is my newest favorite thread! :D

[Mermaid Lunette]

This is my newest favorite thread! :D


So we just, MERmade your day? ;)

[Mermaid Lunette]

where did the fisherman and the mermaid meet?
on-line!

if a mermaid and a cow mate, will that have Moomaids?

what part of a mermaid weighs the most?
the scales

[Marlin]

deFINitely!! :D

[Mermaid Aika]

Why are dolphins more clever than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of the pool and feed them fish!

To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark

[Aquos Savar]

What did the mermaid said to the merman?
Sea you later

[telzey.amberdon]

I otter stop reading these, they are too finny.

[PhaylennMurúch]

what did the ocean say to the shore?
nothing, it just waved

[telzey.amberdon]

What did the ocean say to the naked mermaid? I sea you!

[Arielle]

I otter stop reading these, they are too finny.


I seagree
:D

[SeaGlass Siren]

How do you tell the difference between a sea pig and a land pig?
When you ask it what kind of pig they are, and your mouth fills with water, it's probably a sea pig.

[Lucinda]

What do you get when a crowd of merfolk talk amongst themselves?

A mermer of voices!

[Mermaid Lunette]

two fish are in a tank, one says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

[Mermaid Lunette]

if you can think of a better fish pun let minnow.

[PearlieMae]

two fish are in a tank, one says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

:lol: Lunette!!!

[Mermaid Lunette]

I hope no ones feels orcaward reading this.

[Mermaid Lunette]

what it is you are thinking of doing? go for it while you still have the oppor-tuna-ty!

[Mermaid Lunette]

are you sitting on a really good fish pun? don't be koi, share it!

[telzey.amberdon]

Is any one carping about the bad puns?

[SINicallyTwisted]

This is the closest thing to a pun that I have and I didn't even think of it, one of the crew members of NEBP thought of it as a joke while we were at Rhode Island Comic Con and it just kind of stuck since.

Where do mermaids go for yummy coffee?
Why, Sunkin Donuts of course!"
25851

[Mermaid Lunette]

why don't oysters give to charity?
because they are shellfish.

what did one tadpole say to the other?
show me your mussels.

where does seaweed look for a job?
in the 'kelp-wanted' ads.

what lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
a nervous wreck.

[Mermaid Isabel]

what is the difference between a piano and a fish?
well, you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

ahahahahah

[Mermaid Lunette]

Why all the puns?
Oh, for the halibut.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Very true Pearlie!
By the way, did you hear about the red ship that collided with a blue ship? All the sailors were marooned.
This one killed me. :)

[OceanWhisper]

Why did the mermaid leave the ocean?
Because she thought it was too mainstream!

[Mermaid Lunette]

What an outRAYgeous thread, we batter krill out guys.

[Mermaid Lunette]

(I dunno if I should be elated or ashamed of that last one xD

[SeaGlass Siren]

I heard corals die when they get stressed out? About what???

...current events.

[Mermaid Lunette]

Careful everybody, I don't want anybody to bust a gill.

It is lookin like the dead sea out here.

Let's raise some halibut.

[mermaid mazu]

What is a pirates favorite letter

Normal answer "r"

Nay, tis the c they love

[Mermaid Arabella]

What is a pirates favorite letter

Normal answer "r"

Nay, tis the c they love

Or it could be AYE! :pirate:

[TritonsGuard]

How do we know mermen are really good at sports?
Da-feet is not an option.

What did Mrs. Beaver say to Mr. Beaver when he told her the river is giving them problems?
Dam it!

A mer couple were out on a date when the merman says to the mermaid "you know I have confession to make. I was born on shore." The mermaid says to him "how is that a problem?" He says "well it means I'm a real son of a beach."

[Slim]

Why does Snoop Dogg wants to be a merman?
Sea-weed

[РусалкаАнна]

This funny thread. I like. ❤️

[Mermaid Rivera]

This thread needs to be revived! Mermaid jokes are the best! :lol:

Here's one...

Why do mermaids swim in saltwater?

Because if they swam in pepperwater, they would sneeze!

[Merman Storm]

https://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/hagarthehorrible/s-2297506

Google image search:

Hagar horrible mermaid

There are a dozen or so of them.