Advice Central

[Adalira]

Hellop Everyone!

Welcome to Advice Central!

Here we will all try to help those in need of advice.
Please feel free to share anything you need advice on and anything you can give advice with.
Are you having trouble in your love life? Working on something creative and not sure where to go from there or what to use exactly? Are you having trouble at work? Are you thinking of quitting your job and looking for a new job or starting your own business? In need of cooking advice or new recipes? In need of advice on budgetting or saving more on money? Wanting to read books in a certain genre but not sure where to start? Or movies?
Are you writing a book and would like someone to proof read it?
Anything you need help with or advice on....post it here and we as a mer family will help each other out, spread some love and happiness wherever we can :hug:
Please remember that if you do not get replies on your matter right away that does not mean we will not help.
We will reply as soon as possible and all are welcome to join in to share their advice and wisdom <3

[Yulia]

This might sound silly to some of you, hey, I think it does. But some people have said that I should start selling the bracelets I make.
A few months ago I got really interested in the whole Rainbow Loom stuff. It's really addicting, relaxing and fun.
The thing is, now I sit here with a whole bunch of stuff taking up space.
I'm supernegative when it comes too things like these, I only see the negatives.

- Everyone and their mother makes rubberband-bracelets, why would anyone BUY a bracelet already made?
- My etsy shop might not look professional enough
- Shipping costs might be higher than what people would pay

Here are some pictures of what I have made:
http://photos-d.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10890693_377994912383091_301692667_n.jpghttp://photos-h.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10890825_802069229864255_1563744793_n.jpghttp://photos-f.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10852824_688770127904725_716726811_n.jpghttp://photos-b.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t51.2885-15/10838705_1567980900085481_1530100882_n.jpghttp://photos-a.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10817586_819515118086520_840667302_n.jpg

Yay Pokéballs \o/

So, do you think it's a good idea to try to sell stuff like this on Etsy?
Would you buy something like this?
What would you pay?
If no, what would be something that could change your mind?

[Mermaid Kelda]

Why not list a few and see how it goes? It's only a few cents to list an item, so it's not a big loss if they don't sell. I wouldn't personally buy one because they're not my style, but I can see others wanting them. I remember reading a story of a woman who had made a dress out of loom bands and it sold for thousands of dollars - maybe making larger pieces would gather more interest? Most people might not have the time or patience to weave anything bigger than a bracelet, but might like the novelty of owning one.

[Adalira]

I agree with mermaid Kelda.
Opening an Etsy shop is free and posting an ad up there is $0,20 per ad and the ad stays on there for 4 months!
So it would not cost you much at all to open up an Etsy shop and give it a try.
If you really enjoy making them then why not?
They are not my personal taste either although the first 3 photos look awesome!
And like Kelda said, are you able to make other items with loom? Like a necklace, maybe even an awesome purse, wallet or handbag?
Even smaller things may work. If it is your hobby and it relaxes you and on top of that you really enjoy it, why not give it a go?
You can also do some research on the market.
I looked around on Etsy and there are some shops who sell loom bracelets and other loom related items and sold quite a lot of them.
It is always important to research the market as well and see what others make.
Not to steal anyone's ideas but simply to see what sells, to get inspiration for your own designs and to get ideas on new loom items you could make.
As for the shipping costs....these fit through the mailbox right? I can not imagine the shipping being all that much and you must remember that if someone sees something they really want in your shop, than shipping costs don't matter that much especially with mail box items.
If you would like the link to the one loom shop on Etsy, just send me a pm and i will link it to you.
You can most likely find them yourselfs as well.
Hope this helps.
If you have more questions just let us know :)

[Fun123joker]

i really dont know if i posted it here or not but i've been looking forward to this anime convention all year. it always lies on the weekend of valentines day. this year valentines day lands on a saturday. THE ONE YEAR I HAVE A BF IS THE TIME IM BUSY ON VALENTINES DAY! my plan is to make it up to him either the day before or the day after. i alreddy did too much to skip out on the con. i know its best to let him know early and i was going to tell him today if it wasnt for my math teacher keeping math class going for so long!
does it aleast sound like im doing the right thing?
2 things i will not do:
1) take him with me- anime cons arnt really his thing and tickets are expensive!!!
2) i will not lie to him. i just wont. maybe not giving him enough info sure but i dont want to lie to him

[Adalira]

i really dont know if i posted it here or not but i've been looking forward to this anime convention all year. it always lies on the weekend of valentines day. this year valentines day lands on a saturday. THE ONE YEAR I HAVE A BF IS THE TIME IM BUSY ON VALENTINES DAY! my plan is to make it up to him either the day before or the day after. i alreddy did too much to skip out on the con. i know its best to let him know early and i was going to tell him today if it wasnt for my math teacher keeping math class going for so long!
does it aleast sound like im doing the right thing?
2 things i will not do:
1) take him with me- anime cons arnt really his thing and tickets are expensive!!!
2) i will not lie to him. i just wont. maybe not giving him enough info sure but i dont want to lie to him

Honesty is always best.
In my opinion Valentine's Day is way overrated and here in the Netherlands it is not a big deal at all.
What you could do is simply let him know that you will be going to the anime convention and therefor will not be there for Valentine's Day.
You can ask him if he would like to do something for Valentine's Day the day before or after like you said.
Most likely he won't even mind.
I think you are doing the right thing here.
Best to talk with him when you can and get it over with so you don't think about it too much.
Dont worry too much about it :)

[Talia]

So Yulia. I have an Etsy shop, maybe I can be of help. First, I'll address the negativity:

- Everyone and their mother makes rubberband-bracelets, why would anyone BUY a bracelet already made? --> I don't make them. I know many people that don't make them. They would buy your bracelets. Also, people who really do not have the time, or the skills, or the will to learn.

- My etsy shop might not look professional enough --> It's a question of trying and improving. Work on your pictures. Write your shop policies. Have some cheap Moo or Vistaprint cards made. Include a thank you note with your orders. Promote on Facebook and other networking sites. Make simple video tutorials for your customers (don't give away your best trade secrets!). There are lots of things that can be done! If you are doing this as a hobby, it is not really a matter of life or death that you sell.

- Shipping costs might be higher than what people would pay --> People buying stuff online know how expensive shipping is. Start if you like only with your country and expand from there. From experience, I sell more internationally than to my own country. Also, packaging rubber bracelets is not expensive. Start with bubble envelopes and a zippy bag to keep it safe and dry in case of accident. That won't add much to the Post office charge. They don't weigh much either - it's all advantages!

Now, your questions:
So, do you think it's a good idea to try to sell stuff like this on Etsy? - Sure! Why not?
Would you buy something like this? - I would not, but only because I do not use bracelets. They get in the way of my work, and I find them annoying :P
What would you pay? - I have no idea what is the time or money involved in making a bracelet; I guess it depends on the design. You may sell some simple ones and some intrincate ones. See what people prefer. You may be surprised! Maybe even accept custom orders. Something along the lines of "Choose between these simple designs and two colors for $X".
If no, what would be something that could change your mind? --> About buying? I may consider them for kids' gifts, or stocking stuffers, or get well with card little present...

If you ever want more advice on how to set up shop, I would be happy to help, here or on Etsy :)

[Talia]

Honesty is always best.
In my opinion Valentine's Day is way overrated and here in the Netherlands it is not a big deal at all.
What you could do is simply let him know that you will be going to the anime convention and therefor will not be there for Valentine's Day.
You can ask him if he would like to do something for Valentine's Day the day before or after like you said.
Most likely he won't even mind.
I think you are doing the right thing here.
Best to talk with him when you can and get it over with so you don't think about it too much.
Dont worry too much about it :)

I agree with everything!

[Adalira]

So Yulia. I have an Etsy shop, maybe I can be of help. First, I'll address the negativity:

- Everyone and their mother makes rubberband-bracelets, why would anyone BUY a bracelet already made? --> I don't make them. I know many people that don't make them. They would buy your bracelets. Also, people who really do not have the time, or the skills, or the will to learn.

- My etsy shop might not look professional enough --> It's a question of trying and improving. Work on your pictures. Write your shop policies. Have some cheap Moo or Vistaprint cards made. Include a thank you note with your orders. Promote on Facebook and other networking sites. Make simple video tutorials for your customers (don't give away your best trade secrets!). There are lots of things that can be done! If you are doing this as a hobby, it is not really a matter of life or death that you sell.

- Shipping costs might be higher than what people would pay --> People buying stuff online know how expensive shipping is. Start if you like only with your country and expand from there. From experience, I sell more internationally than to my own country. Also, packaging rubber bracelets is not expensive. Start with bubble envelopes and a zippy bag to keep it safe and dry in case of accident. That won't add much to the Post office charge. They don't weigh much either - it's all advantages!

Now, your questions:
So, do you think it's a good idea to try to sell stuff like this on Etsy? - Sure! Why not?
Would you buy something like this? - I would not, but only because I do not use bracelets. They get in the way of my work, and I find them annoying :P
What would you pay? - I have no idea what is the time or money involved in making a bracelet; I guess it depends on the design. You may sell some simple ones and some intrincate ones. See what people prefer. You may be surprised! Maybe even accept custom orders. Something along the lines of "Choose between these simple designs and two colors for $X".
If no, what would be something that could change your mind? --> About buying? I may consider them for kids' gifts, or stocking stuffers, or get well with card little present...

If you ever want more advice on how to set up shop, I would be happy to help, here or on Etsy :)

Absolutly great advice here Talia!
Would you share the link to your shop with us? I would like to see it.
If not you can pm it to me. I'm very curious now.
And i too sell more internationally than to my own country.

[Yulia]

Thanks for the input and some very good advice!

Yeah, you kan make practically anything, I've made some small figures (a sheep, dragon, Pikachu, bird, pumpkin) and also a hairbarrette of a poinsettia.
I'm not sure how well a purse or handbag would hold up, it might feel a bit odd to use too, but I've seen many others do it.
One could also make small mermaids, to have as a pendant or keyring.

I'm thinking of having some limited collections (like Disney Princess or Harry Potter inspired) some I'll do on demand (like the Pokéball ones)
and some that are unique. (you get what's on the picture and there's just one)
Maybe having some kind of base designs people can request colors on too.

[Talia]

Thank you! It's been eight long years :)

This is my shop: Kaleidoskopic Romance (http://kaleidoskopicromance.etsy.com).
I do not have it listed on my signature because it's not sea related, it's dollhouse miniatures. Strange and unusual, not found in your local dollhouse supplier!
Although I did some marine stuff that I was very happy with:
Shell adornments (https://www.etsy.com/transaction/12048179?)
Mermaid book (https://www.etsy.com/transaction/12951390?)
Shadow box (https://www.etsy.com/transaction/17486798?)

[Talia]

Thanks for the input!
Yeah, you kan make practically anything, I've made some small figures (a sheep, dragon, Pikachu, bird, pumpkin) and also a hairbarrette of a poinsettia.
I'm not sure how well a purse or handbag would hold up, it might feel a bit odd to use too, but I've seen many others do it.
One could also make small mermaids, to have as a pendant or keyring.

That is wonderful! I would be open to buying barrettes or mermaids!
Also, be careful with anything that may have copyright! Big corporations, like Disney and Sanrio, are known to go after unauthorized sellers on Etsy.

[Adalira]

Thank you! It's been eight long years :)

This is my shop: Kaleidoskopic Romance (http://kaleidoskopicromance.etsy.com).
I do not have it listed on my signature because it's not sea related, it's dollhouse miniatures. Strange and unusual, not found in your local dollhouse supplier!
Although I did some marine stuff that I was very happy with:
Shell adornments (https://www.etsy.com/transaction/12048179?)
Mermaid book (https://www.etsy.com/transaction/12951390?)
Shadow box (https://www.etsy.com/transaction/17486798?)

Wow your shop is great! Are you only allowed to post your shop as a signature on here if it is mermaid related?
I did not know that.
I have some mermaid items in my shop but mostly it is overall fantasy so i do have my signature up.

Oh my...i had no idea they go after unauthorised people on Etsy....we have 2 Disney items in our shop and i thought that was ok.
We have not heard anything yet....fingers crossed.
I have to say they probably won't do anything if you only have a few items.
If you would be making thousands on Disney items i could see them wanting to stop that.

[Adalira]

Thanks for the input!
Yeah, you kan make practically anything, I've made some small figures (a sheep, dragon, Pikachu, bird, pumpkin) and also a hairbarrette of a poinsettia.
I'm not sure how well a purse or handbag would hold up, it might feel a bit odd to use too, but I've seen many others do it.
One could also make small mermaids, to have as a pendant or keyring.

You could make the outside of the bag from looms and put some fabric on the inside.
If for example you make the looms in a design of green and purple you could make the fabric on the inside orange or something else that pops or just simply a neutral color. however you would like it.
The possibilities are endless.
The little mermaids sound great too. You have a ton of options :)

[Yulia]

That is wonderful! I would be open to buying barrettes or mermaids!
Also, be careful with anything that may have copyright! Big corporations, like Disney and Sanrio, are known to go after unauthorized sellers on Etsy.
Yup, was thinking just have them inspired of their colors and such.
Love your shop by the way, do you make everything by hand?

[Talia]

Wow your shop is great! Are you only allowed to post your shop as a signature on here if it is mermaid related?
I did not know that.
I have some mermaid items in my shop but mostly it is overall fantasy so i do have my signature up.

Oh my...i had no idea they go after unauthorised people on Etsy....we have 2 Disney items in our shop and i thought that was ok.
We have not heard anything yet....fingers crossed.
I have to say they probably won't do anything if you only have a few items.
If you would be making thousands on Disney items i could see them wanting to stop that.

Thank you Adalira! I don't know about the policies on shops for the signature. I simply thought maybe people just wouldn't be interested if it wasn't mer related.

Regarding Disney and Sanrio, it was a long time ago, but it was discussed on Etsy's forums. I don't know if they have stopped, I don't think so. Apparently they are somehow required by law to pursue any copyright infringement. If not, it's like they renounce their copyrights, if they don't protect them proactively. But I may be mistaken, I am no expert on copyright issues.

I have seen some sellers that explain in their listings they have purchased a commercial license to produce some things. I don't know if that is true, I guess a Disney lawyer would check on that before taking action against them.

[Talia]

Yup, was thinking just have them inspired of their colors and such.
Love your shop by the way, do you make everything by hand?

Yup, everything by hand, except for the furniture. The cabinets, tables and chairs are store-bought.

[Adalira]

It really looks awesome Talia!

[Mermaid Mhara]

Hey guys! Love this idea!

Looking for some advice on something, that many of you artsy people could help me with!

So I'm Pagan, and I like working with a variety of 'tools' within my craft. My favorite tool of use is a staff, I love having something to cling onto when climbing up to mountain tops, clifftop burial chambers, and to the standing stones where we perform our rituals and rites, and I just prefer using one to say a wand or athame (actually can't do athame's very well at all)

I've created my own staff up until now, and have had four so far in the last year or so...but there's a problemo, the ones I make myself always seem to come apart or be just 'not perfect'.

Anyway, I contacted an artist on etsy who makes some BEAUTIFUL things and he has agreed to turn my 'dream staff' into reality, and I'm paying such a small price for what I'm getting! I'm so happy.

BUT...I'm such an impatient person!

I don't care how long it takes to make it, that isn't where I'm impatient...I'm impatient in the creating process. I've actually done this before with a seller on Facebook who wanted £130 for my dream staff to be made, but when he showed me the finished product it derailed completely from the original design and was...well, just not what I asked for! I felt so awkward but I had to tell him I wasn't splashing out money on something I'm not happy with, he understood and refunded me and has since sold the staff to another buyer.

Now I'm so impatient with this new artist, he hasn't really given me much updates but has promised me it should be done and ready to ship out in about two weeks or so...

I'm just so scared he'll do the same, and I LOVE communication with things like this, I like knowing how they're made and how far in progress the maker is etc.

Now is that weird? Should I step back and just breathe and let him do his thing?
How often is too much, when it comes to asking for updates? He promised me he would update me but I haven't heard anything since ordering it nearly a week ago now, and it should be done in about 10 days?

Finding someone to make me this staff has been almost as painful as finding someone who'll make someone on here a tail, I've had so much 'Sorry that's beyond my abilities' and 'I don't have time right now's that I'm actually doubting I'll ever get it...yet alone get it as close to my design :(

Should I just stop worrying?

[Adalira]

Hey guys! Love this idea!

Looking for some advice on something, that many of you artsy people could help me with!

So I'm Pagan, and I like working with a variety of 'tools' within my craft. My favorite tool of use is a staff, I love having something to cling onto when climbing up to mountain tops, clifftop burial chambers, and to the standing stones where we perform our rituals and rites, and I just prefer using one to say a wand or athame (actually can't do athame's very well at all)

I've created my own staff up until now, and have had four so far in the last year or so...but there's a problemo, the ones I make myself always seem to come apart or be just 'not perfect'.

Anyway, I contacted an artist on etsy who makes some BEAUTIFUL things and he has agreed to turn my 'dream staff' into reality, and I'm paying such a small price for what I'm getting! I'm so happy.

BUT...I'm such an impatient person!

I don't care how long it takes to make it, that isn't where I'm impatient...I'm impatient in the creating process. I've actually done this before with a seller on Facebook who wanted £130 for my dream staff to be made, but when he showed me the finished product it derailed completely from the original design and was...well, just not what I asked for! I felt so awkward but I had to tell him I wasn't splashing out money on something I'm not happy with, he understood and refunded me and has since sold the staff to another buyer.

Now I'm so impatient with this new artist, he hasn't really given me much updates but has promised me it should be done and ready to ship out in about two weeks or so...

I'm just so scared he'll do the same, and I LOVE communication with things like this, I like knowing how they're made and how far in progress the maker is etc.

Now is that weird? Should I step back and just breathe and let him do his thing?
How often is too much, when it comes to asking for updates? He promised me he would update me but I haven't heard anything since ordering it nearly a week ago now, and it should be done in about 10 days?

Finding someone to make me this staff has been almost as painful as finding someone who'll make someone on here a tail, I've had so much 'Sorry that's beyond my abilities' and 'I don't have time right now's that I'm actually doubting I'll ever get it...yet alone get it as close to my design :(

Should I just stop worrying?

First of all: I love the the you are so into staffs! Want to know something weird.....i make magic wands and sell them in my Etsy shop, i run the business with my hubby and a few weeks ago we said we would start working on staffs at some point.
We are not working on them yet though but will in the future.. anyway...just a funny coincidence i wanted to share :-)
As for your issue: I feel that since he promised you updates and it is such a big item that he should be sending you updates on the process.
Did you ask for a certain amount of updates? Or a time in which you would like the first update and then every other day or so?
I totally get that you are worried, trust me i would be too since it is such a personal thing.
In my opinion you could simply contact him and tell him you would really love to see an update and be part of the process that your staff is going through.
Let him know how excited you are :)
Simply ask for some photos and ask if he can update you every other day or twice a week, whatever you are comfortable with.

[Mermaid Mhara]

Yeah I've seen your shop and Favorited it in my etsy! :D your wands are great! and I ADORE some of the bottles you make! If you do make staffs please let me know!! I love just looking at them, and I can promote them to my friends as I'm an 'honourary' member of the Anglesey druid order (soon to be full member once I have time to take on the studies!) And know of many people who would love to see some!

Thanks for the advice! :) I'll be sure to do that! Just didn't wanna come across as pushy or negative to him as he might then find making the staff a burden or a pain if he sees me in a bad or annoying light! And as you'd probably know through making wands, that an item of ritual or magical purpose comes out best when done under good intention and will!

[Adalira]

Wow, thank you so much :)
Anything magical and fantasy related is my true passion and i just love making items to spread magic and bring joy.
Do you have photos of the staffs you have at the moment? I would love to see them!
The one issue we have is that shipping internationally we can not ship items over a certain lenght (which is not very long) so we are working on a system to maybe have a staff in 2 parts and you simply screw the 2 parts together to create the big staff.
Internationally we are not allowed to ship over 100cm in lenght which is 3.28 feet.

I as an artist would always want to update a customer on a custom order and let them be part of the process.
Also because like that the customer can jump in if an artist is not following the design as much as he wants.
I for one am not big on de-railing from the designs as it is because the customer gave that design for a specific reason, that being that design is what they want so why de-rail from that?
Just let him know how excited you are to see an update and let him know you want to be part of that process, you want to be part of your dream slowly and bit by bit coming alive.
I am sure he will appreciate it and even be flattered :)

ps. will surely let you know when we start on staffs because we will most likely post some in here to get some advice and opinions on them :)

[MermaidStormy]

This might sound silly to some of you, hey, I think it does. But some people have said that I should start selling the bracelets I make.
A few months ago I got really interested in the whole Rainbow Loom stuff. It's really addicting, relaxing and fun.
The thing is, now I sit here with a whole bunch of stuff taking up space.
I'm supernegative when it comes too things like these, I only see the negatives.

- Everyone and their mother makes rubberband-bracelets, why would anyone BUY a bracelet already made?
- My etsy shop might not look professional enough
- Shipping costs might be higher than what people would pay

Here are some pictures of what I have made:
http://photos-d.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10890693_377994912383091_301692667_n.jpghttp://photos-h.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10890825_802069229864255_1563744793_n.jpghttp://photos-f.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10852824_688770127904725_716726811_n.jpghttp://photos-b.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t51.2885-15/10838705_1567980900085481_1530100882_n.jpghttp://photos-a.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10817586_819515118086520_840667302_n.jpg

Yay Pokéballs \o/

So, do you think it's a good idea to try to sell stuff like this on Etsy?
Would you buy something like this?
What would you pay?
If no, what would be something that could change your mind?

I think they are pretty funky you should go for it and open up a etsy store :)

[Talia]

In my opinion you could simply contact him and tell him you would really love to see an update and be part of the process that your staff is going through.
Let him know how excited you are :)
Simply ask for some photos and ask if he can update you every other day or twice a week, whatever you are comfortable with.

I agree with this. If it is a custom made order, I think you are entitled to pictures and to voice your opinion about anything. I don't think it's about offending him or not; you are paying for his services, and you should have what you want to have.

If it is any help, I had once a customer who had very clear ideas on what she wanted. I took pics of every step before finishing anything completely so it could be changed if she did not like it. And of course, she only paid when the order was completed and she was happy. But I guess that would depend if your seller can re-sell your staff if you don't like it, or re-make it.

But yeah, most definitely ask for pictures of what is going on, or what he has so far.

[Adalira]

So as you all know i have a shop on Etsy with fantasy items i make myself.
I would like to open up a second shop for vintage items i have.
Now comes the hard part: What should i name the shop?
I have been thinking of VintageTreasureChest. But that is taken. So is Vintagetreasure and Vintagetreasures.
Is something like Vintage4you allowed? I mean a "4" in the title?
VintageCollectibles is taken as well.
Any shop names that pop in your head are most welcome :-)

[Mermaid Kelda]

TreasuredVintage?
BoxOfVintage?
TreasuresAndVintage?

[Adalira]

Thank you for the options, they really helped the brainstorming process :-)
We ended up choosing the name OrinsTreasureChest since our dogs name is Orin :-)
I posted 1 item in there so far just to have it up and running and will post some more fun items in the next few days.
Thanks for the help Mermaid Kelda!

[Mermaid Kelda]

No problem haha! Fantastic name :)

[Vixy]

I'll be starting sewing lessons soon, and then making historical costumes from the Bronze age to the nineties all around the world. At the moment I'm doing medieval and WW2 re-enactment so I will be making a lot of stuff for it as buying is expensive. (As well as cosplay)

I mentioned to the leader in my fighting group about sewing medieval clothing and he told me I should think about selling it.

But I have no idea how much I could sell the clothing for. It's linen and wool.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Have a look on etsy for prices maybe? It depends on how detailed they are and how well you can sew, but you could easily sell a custom piece for a few hundred, especially if it's linen or wool.

This is one of the more popular medieval clothing shops on etsy:
https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/armstreet

[Adalira]

I totally agree with Mermaid Kelda here. I was going to suggest the same thing, look around on Etsy and do some research on prices from other stores.

[Miyu]

Also, be careful with anything that may have copyright! Big corporations, like Disney and Sanrio, are known to go after unauthorized sellers on Etsy.

Except Hasbro - they encourage small-scale sales of fan-created products for some of their franchises, such as My Little Pony!

I think you could make a decent amount on geekery-related bracelets and things... Hogwarts house colours, pokemon-inspired bracelets (like with the colours of specific pokemon), my little pony bracelets... Geekery-related things tend to sell well, especially if you are open to offering a wholesale pack to people who want to sell at conventions (heck, you could even go to cons and sell them yourself, if there are any around you).

But for serious, I know for a fact that MLP fans would eat those things up, your work is very clean and professional-looking. I don't make those types of bracelets, but I might buy some, especially in packs as gifts!

[Yulia]

Except Hasbro - they encourage small-scale sales of fan-created products for some of their franchises, such as My Little Pony!

I think you could make a decent amount on geekery-related bracelets and things... Hogwarts house colours, pokemon-inspired bracelets (like with the colours of specific pokemon), my little pony bracelets... Geekery-related things tend to sell well, especially if you are open to offering a wholesale pack to people who want to sell at conventions (heck, you could even go to cons and sell them yourself, if there are any around you).
But for serious, I know for a fact that MLP fans would eat those things up, your work is very clean and professional-looking. I don't make those types of bracelets, but I might buy some, especially in packs as gifts!
Thank you! :D
I hadn't thought about the MLP-fanbase, I don't watch the show myself, but I like the characters. I'll think something up ;)

[Aysun_the_Mermaid]

Hey everybody :)

I was going to offer some sort of contest or giveaway when my mermaid facebook page hit 500 likes.

Well... it blew past that and is currently hovering at almost 540.

I have no idea what to do or offer!

Any suggestions?

[Adalira]

You can still do a give a way or you could wait until your page hits 750 and start announcing it now.
When i do a give a way on my facebook page i announce it ahead of time or sometimes after the number has passed. It really depends.
So you could say something like:" To celebrate having reached over 500 likes we will be holding a give a way contest" and start from there.
Or like i said you can go for the 750 and wait a bit longer and start announcing it when you reach around 700 and ask people to share the page.
For instance" If you share this message and like this message you are eligible for the give a way" that way you get some more free promotion as well.
Hope this helps.

[Sherielle]

You can still do a give a way or you could wait until your page hits 750 and start announcing it now.
When i do a give a way on my facebook page i announce it ahead of time or sometimes after the number has passed. It really depends.
So you could say something like:" To celebrate having reached over 500 likes we will be holding a give a way contest" and start from there.
Or like i said you can go for the 750 and wait a bit longer and start announcing it when you reach around 700 and ask people to share the page.
For instance" If you share this message and like this message you are eligible for the give a way" that way you get some more free promotion as well.
Hope this helps.Be careful with using sharing as a requirement for a contest. Last I checked it was against facebook rules. You can ask people to share, but you can't make it a requirement for entry. I use Rafflecopter for my giveaways.
As far as something to give, what can you offer? A signed picture? A comp ticket to somewhere? A little something you make? It's really up to you.

[Aysun_the_Mermaid]

I do calligraphy, and I can make jewelry copies of the jewelry my mermaid wears. I could offer a comp ticket to faire...

[Adalira]

A guy i know wrote to me on facebook that me asking people to share and click on it to be in the contest was not allowed on facebook yet i see pretty much every single page doing it. From restaurants to stores.
And that guy that messaged me about it ended up doing it himself as well to promote his page ;)
Off course you should be carefull with it. If facebook would send you a message that it's not allowed or a warning you can simply say you did not know it is not allowed.
But i don't think facebook would do anything against it to be honest.

[Aysun_the_Mermaid]

Thanks guys!
I managed to blow by those milestones *flabbergasted*

So I announced a giveaway once I reach 1000 likes.

Prize (s) would be mermaid art and jewelry, with a potential for a ticket to the opening weekend of the Scarborough Renaissance Festival

[Rebekah.fish]

This might sound silly to some of you, hey, I think it does. But some people have said that I should start selling the bracelets I make.
A few months ago I got really interested in the whole Rainbow Loom stuff. It's really addicting, relaxing and fun.
The thing is, now I sit here with a whole bunch of stuff taking up space.
I'm supernegative when it comes too things like these, I only see the negatives.

- Everyone and their mother makes rubberband-bracelets, why would anyone BUY a bracelet already made?
- My etsy shop might not look professional enough
- Shipping costs might be higher than what people would pay

Here are some pictures of what I have made:
http://photos-d.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10890693_377994912383091_301692667_n.jpghttp://photos-h.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10890825_802069229864255_1563744793_n.jpghttp://photos-f.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10852824_688770127904725_716726811_n.jpghttp://photos-b.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t51.2885-15/10838705_1567980900085481_1530100882_n.jpghttp://photos-a.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/10817586_819515118086520_840667302_n.jpg

Yay Pokéballs \o/

So, do you think it's a good idea to try to sell stuff like this on Etsy?
Would you buy something like this?
What would you pay?
If no, what would be something that could change your mind?
Love your bracelets! Definitely sell them! I make similar ones with hemp and People love them! I think you'll do great!

[Rebekah.fish]

Can anyone help me out with figuring out a mermaid name? I know there's a thread on here for that but I'm bad at working this site >_< I'm supposed to have a name in the next few weeks and I'm so nervous I'll pick something dumb that I won't like forever...

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Can anyone help me out with figuring out a mermaid name? I know there's a thread on here for that but I'm bad at working this site >_< I'm supposed to have a name in the next few weeks and I'm so nervous I'll pick something dumb that I won't like forever...

Pick something you have a favourite for.

A hint... I named myself after my fave choc coated orange candies!

[Mermaid Pickles]

I picked mine from something that a kid said back when I worked at a daycare. It just stuck. I would say, something you like, or maybe an alteration of a nickname you have or have had?

[Adalira]

You can also find link on google if you type in "Mermaid names" or "fairy names" and see what pops up. That's how i found mine.
Hope it helps :-)

[Rebekah.fish]

Yea I've done that.. do I think it'd be lame to just use my normal name and tag mermaid onto it?

[SiaTheMermaid]

Using your real name isn't lame at all! You could even use your real name but in a different language and even shorten it, that's how I got my mername :)

[SiaTheMermaid]

I used even twice... vocabulary fail. I'd like to add that you can also look for name inspiration from your favourite story/book.

[Rebekah.fish]

Okay :) I just liked how people have names that have some word that means something about the ocean mixed in there but I tried Google and it's an odd thing to search for

[SiaTheMermaid]

I believe it would be. Maybe try different words that mean ocean and see if something jumps out at you? Like in greek Okeanos or Okeana means ocean :)

[Merman Chatfish]

So I am trying to make a friend here where I live and I have a bit of a dilemma.

Back in college I had this group of "friends" that would only invite me to do stuff if I asked (read nagged) just enough about hanging out. If I never asked I was never invited to do anything unless one of them had nothing else to do (my best friend said I was a friend of last resort). One night they invited me to come to hang out at a bar and so I joined. They met up with two others there and they spent most of their time talking about school and work stuff since they were all in the same field and same job*. I wound up being in the back alone and not able to join in on the conversation. A few times my best friend would leave that group and come over to play pool or darts with me so make me feel really included. I hated that because if I wasn't there she would be having a lot more fun instead of having to go out of her way to make me feel included. I have never liked doing group hangouts because I don't like large groups of people, but when trying to make friends one-on-one doesn't work, seems more datey than just friendship.

Right now i am attempting to be friends with someone in theater and I don't know if it is going well. We have hung out once, and sometimes she won't talk to me for days even when I try to send her a message. I know she's not completely turned off against being friends because during the last musical I really made a mess of things and after she forgave me and gave me a second chance. I am trying to do better then even my friendships in college but I don't know the line between trying to hard and not enough. I know if I try too hard people I turn people off and they leave me, but if I don't do anything I am forgotten (best friend even said that). In college I basically had to find the right amount of beggyness, which I felt was way too much.

So tonight I asked if everything was alright and if she wanted to talk because I knew she had a DR appointment today and it sounds like it didn't go well. Then she told me tomorrow night her and some others are going to a bar for karaoke and its open to all if I want to join. And thus dilemma. I know if I want to make friends with her and in general I need to do more group activities (and the one I do she can't because she is unable to dance do to physical conditions), but I worry that I will be uncomfortable there and not have fun, and she won't be like my friend in college and try and keep me company. And I am not sure if and what I should tell her before hand, because I am not sure how it would effect our friendship progress.

What should I do? Should I tell her about last time and just how much?


*You might be wondering how I became friends with this group. Well my best friend started sitting with me at meals when she saw me alone and crying during dinner one night, and out of pity became my friends. Everyone else was a friend of hers that I would get to know.

[Adalira]

So I am trying to make a friend here where I live and I have a bit of a dilemma.

Back in college I had this group of "friends" that would only invite me to do stuff if I asked (read nagged) just enough about hanging out. If I never asked I was never invited to do anything unless one of them had nothing else to do (my best friend said I was a friend of last resort). One night they invited me to come to hang out at a bar and so I joined. They met up with two others there and they spent most of their time talking about school and work stuff since they were all in the same field and same job*. I wound up being in the back alone and not able to join in on the conversation. A few times my best friend would leave that group and come over to play pool or darts with me so make me feel really included. I hated that because if I wasn't there she would be having a lot more fun instead of having to go out of her way to make me feel included. I have never liked doing group hangouts because I don't like large groups of people, but when trying to make friends one-on-one doesn't work, seems more datey than just friendship.

Right now i am attempting to be friends with someone in theater and I don't know if it is going well. We have hung out once, and sometimes she won't talk to me for days even when I try to send her a message. I know she's not completely turned off against being friends because during the last musical I really made a mess of things and after she forgave me and gave me a second chance. I am trying to do better then even my friendships in college but I don't know the line between trying to hard and not enough. I know if I try too hard people I turn people off and they leave me, but if I don't do anything I am forgotten (best friend even said that). In college I basically had to find the right amount of beggyness, which I felt was way too much.

So tonight I asked if everything was alright and if she wanted to talk because I knew she had a DR appointment today and it sounds like it didn't go well. Then she told me tomorrow night her and some others are going to a bar for karaoke and its open to all if I want to join. And thus dilemma. I know if I want to make friends with her and in general I need to do more group activities (and the one I do she can't because she is unable to dance do to physical conditions), but I worry that I will be uncomfortable there and not have fun, and she won't be like my friend in college and try and keep me company. And I am not sure if and what I should tell her before hand, because I am not sure how it would effect our friendship progress.

What should I do? Should I tell her about last time and just how much?


*You might be wondering how I became friends with this group. Well my best friend started sitting with me at meals when she saw me alone and crying during dinner one night, and out of pity became my friends. Everyone else was a friend of hers that I would get to know.


I am so sorry i have been online for such a long time.
Else i would have definitely replied sooner.
One thing that i have learned over the years is that true friendship is effordless.
That means, no begging for attention/hanging out/going out/ talking/emails etc.
With true friendship you talk when you talk, you meet when you meet.
I have a really good and close friend who i rarely see, we email and even emails are rare.
She has health issues and i know she will email me when she wants, or feels like it, or has the strength to do so. That means there can be months before i hear from her again and that is fine.
Because true friendship does not mean that you HAVE TO spend time together a lot.
I myself do not like being in crowds myself, or hang out with a lot of people. I was always the one left out myself so i simply stopped doing that.
Being able to talk to people online and have online friendships was a blessing for me!
I have learned never to force myself on anyone ever again.
One friend of mine is a very one sided friendship.
She messages me only when she has guy trouble.
If i message her she never has time or simply cuts the conversation short within a minute.
This is NOT true friendship.
I know that when she messages me there is guy trouble and it ALWAYS is.
She simply has me in her life for advice and a talk and i leave it at that.
I never try to attempt more than that either.
I have another friend who i can write to about anything, about any deep emotion and she will reply when she can.
If that means i don't hear back in a week, a month or whatever, i know she has not forgotten about me but simply has other things on her mind right now.
Do not be discouraged. If going out is not your thing, then simply don't do it.
Maybe you are more like me and the online friendships are more for you.
I find surrounding myself with so called friends not to be for me.
I prefer having 1 or 2 true friends i can contact when needed and i know they are and will always be there for me.
That is all i need.

In your case, you could bring up that you do not know what to do or how much to contact someone.
But i feel it should flow naturally.
I know it has been a long time since you have posted this so i would like to know how you are doing now.
Hope to hear from you!

[Merman Chatfish]

I am so sorry i have been online for such a long time.
Else i would have definitely replied sooner.
One thing that i have learned over the years is that true friendship is effordless.
That means, no begging for attention/hanging out/going out/ talking/emails etc.
With true friendship you talk when you talk, you meet when you meet.
I have a really good and close friend who i rarely see, we email and even emails are rare.
She has health issues and i know she will email me when she wants, or feels like it, or has the strength to do so. That means there can be months before i hear from her again and that is fine.
Because true friendship does not mean that you HAVE TO spend time together a lot.
I myself do not like being in crowds myself, or hang out with a lot of people. I was always the one left out myself so i simply stopped doing that.
Being able to talk to people online and have online friendships was a blessing for me!
I have learned never to force myself on anyone ever again.
One friend of mine is a very one sided friendship.
She messages me only when she has guy trouble.
If i message her she never has time or simply cuts the conversation short within a minute.
This is NOT true friendship.
I know that when she messages me there is guy trouble and it ALWAYS is.
She simply has me in her life for advice and a talk and i leave it at that.
I never try to attempt more than that either.
I have another friend who i can write to about anything, about any deep emotion and she will reply when she can.
If that means i don't hear back in a week, a month or whatever, i know she has not forgotten about me but simply has other things on her mind right now.
Do not be discouraged. If going out is not your thing, then simply don't do it.
Maybe you are more like me and the online friendships are more for you.
I find surrounding myself with so called friends not to be for me.
I prefer having 1 or 2 true friends i can contact when needed and i know they are and will always be there for me.
That is all i need.

In your case, you could bring up that you do not know what to do or how much to contact someone.
But i feel it should flow naturally.
I know it has been a long time since you have posted this so i would like to know how you are doing now.
Hope to hear from you!

The type of friend I would like is one that hang outs, going geocaching or watch a movie with that is willing to give a hug when I need it. I just see people on Facebook hanging out with other people and wish I could be like that. And how am I suppose a girlfriend and eventually get married?

[IllynReaver]

The type of friend I would like is one that hang outs, going geocaching or watch a movie with that is willing to give a hug when I need it. I just see people on Facebook hanging out with other people and wish I could be like that. And how am I suppose a girlfriend and eventually get married?

Honestly, I would focus more on just being friends with people. Worry less about getting a girlfriend and eventually getting married down the road. Baby steps. It's hard being alone, it's hard having people telling you to get out there and "make friends". Making friends isn't easy. You're going to worry, you're going to overthink situations and stress yourself out needlessly. I've been there. I'd say go to the karaoke thing, if you're uncomfortable and not having a good time. I'm sure your friend will understand if you tell her you're just not comfortable but appreciated being invited.

[Adalira]

Honestly, I would focus more on just being friends with people. Worry less about getting a girlfriend and eventually getting married down the road. Baby steps. It's hard being alone, it's hard having people telling you to get out there and "make friends". Making friends isn't easy. You're going to worry, you're going to overthink situations and stress yourself out needlessly. I've been there. I'd say go to the karaoke thing, if you're uncomfortable and not having a good time. I'm sure your friend will understand if you tell her you're just not comfortable but appreciated being invited.

Totally agree here.
Let me tell you something about myself that may be comforting for you and to show you are not alone in this.
My mom married my dad at 18, got kids in her early twenties so i was under pressure (by myself) when i did not find a guy to marry at 20 and felt i had failed.
From my 20's to when i was 25 my surroundings started pressuring me (not my parents or brother) but others, neighbours, friends of the family etc. Asking why i did not have a boyfriend yet, that i should be going out meeting people, that mister right was not going to pop up at my front door like magic, i had to work for it bla bla bla.
All bullsh*t.
Anyway, i did not get involved with a man until i was 26, just because it was not in the cards for me yet and i was fine with it. I had no idea how to act, what to do etc.
Anyway, after that ended i met 2 other guys over a time of 2 years who treated me horribly, one of who i knew from my real life and trusted. (so again, real life friends don't mean sh*t)
When i was i believe 28 i was on facebook talking to a friend of mine, she told me that a friend of hers would send me a friend request, she felt that him and i would hit it off and have lots to talk about.
She said he did not have many friends and she wanted him to make more friends.
So i accepted his request.
I live in Europe, the Netherlands, he lived in America PA.
We wrote everyday on facebook, played online games together which was fun and after 3 weeks or so we skyped for the first time.
We had both been hooked from the beginning but you never know what happens untill you skype and actually see each other and hear each others voice and laugh.
But we were in love instantly.
10 months after we had met on facebook he came over to visit me. He came over Decembre 3rd and was supposed to leave at January 6th i believe....well....he did come here but he never left :)
He left his family and his life in America behind for me.
Now we live together, have a business together, have a life together, something i thought was never going to happen for me.
What i am trying to say is, meeting people in real life is overrated, it really is.
People told me i could not meet mister right at my front door, but guess what? I met him in my living room! LOL
And the best thing? I did not have to dress up and go out for it but was in the comfort of my own home.
Have you ever thought of looking for friends online?
I mean, there are dating sites, but there may also be sites for people seeking friendships.
I know there are a lot of people who don;t like dating sites or anything like that but i have heard great stories about it.
A friend of mine was on one and he met girls that he did not want to be with, as in a relationship (after they met they did not hit it off that way) but they became great friends.
If meeting people in real life is not your thing like me (i was always to third/fifth wheel, not sure how the saying goes hahaha) and always feel left out or felt sorry for, then online may be the best option for you.
It's worth a try right?
You could try both dating sites and (if they exist) friendship sites.

[Merman Chatfish]

Honestly, I would focus more on just being friends with people. Worry less about getting a girlfriend and eventually getting married down the road. Baby steps. It's hard being alone, it's hard having people telling you to get out there and "make friends". Making friends isn't easy. You're going to worry, you're going to overthink situations and stress yourself out needlessly. I've been there. I'd say go to the karaoke thing, if you're uncomfortable and not having a good time. I'm sure your friend will understand if you tell her you're just not comfortable but appreciated being invited.

Oh I know about just focusing on friends only.
I did do Karaoke, and she pounced on someone who was rude to me, which I thought was a good sign...now I am blocked on Facebook.


Totally agree here.
Let me tell you something about myself that may be comforting for you and to show you are not alone in this.
My mom married my dad at 18, got kids in her early twenties so i was under pressure (by myself) when i did not find a guy to marry at 20 and felt i had failed.
From my 20's to when i was 25 my surroundings started pressuring me (not my parents or brother) but others, neighbours, friends of the family etc. Asking why i did not have a boyfriend yet, that i should be going out meeting people, that mister right was not going to pop up at my front door like magic, i had to work for it bla bla bla.
All bullsh*t.
Anyway, i did not get involved with a man until i was 26, just because it was not in the cards for me yet and i was fine with it. I had no idea how to act, what to do etc.
Anyway, after that ended i met 2 other guys over a time of 2 years who treated me horribly, one of who i knew from my real life and trusted. (so again, real life friends don't mean sh*t)
When i was i believe 28 i was on facebook talking to a friend of mine, she told me that a friend of hers would send me a friend request, she felt that him and i would hit it off and have lots to talk about.
She said he did not have many friends and she wanted him to make more friends.
So i accepted his request.
I live in Europe, the Netherlands, he lived in America PA.
We wrote everyday on facebook, played online games together which was fun and after 3 weeks or so we skyped for the first time.
We had both been hooked from the beginning but you never know what happens untill you skype and actually see each other and hear each others voice and laugh.
But we were in love instantly.
10 months after we had met on facebook he came over to visit me. He came over Decembre 3rd and was supposed to leave at January 6th i believe....well....he did come here but he never left :)
He left his family and his life in America behind for me.
Now we live together, have a business together, have a life together, something i thought was never going to happen for me.
What i am trying to say is, meeting people in real life is overrated, it really is.
People told me i could not meet mister right at my front door, but guess what? I met him in my living room! LOL
And the best thing? I did not have to dress up and go out for it but was in the comfort of my own home.
Have you ever thought of looking for friends online?
I mean, there are dating sites, but there may also be sites for people seeking friendships.
I know there are a lot of people who don;t like dating sites or anything like that but i have heard great stories about it.
A friend of mine was on one and he met girls that he did not want to be with, as in a relationship (after they met they did not hit it off that way) but they became great friends.
If meeting people in real life is not your thing like me (i was always to third/fifth wheel, not sure how the saying goes hahaha) and always feel left out or felt sorry for, then online may be the best option for you.
It's worth a try right?
You could try both dating sites and (if they exist) friendship sites.

I have tried dating websites and even on tinder saying I am just looking for friends. I don't know if there are sites just for making friends. I do have a few close people on here at least. Sadly there arn't really any mers in Iowa.

[IllynReaver]

What do you mean you're blocked on Facebook?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Merman Chatfish]

What do you mean you're blocked on Facebook?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I sent her a message saying good luck that night for the musical she was doing (would have been doing tech but I am living 4 hours away this summer). I noticed the next day I am blocked, so I can't message her or view her profile. As far as Facebook is concerned when I am on she does not exist.

[Mermaid Lunette]

hmmm, have you been messaging her back and forth? would you be willing to show us the exact conversation or exactly what you said?

maybe you acciedntally mispoke somewhere that we can point out and explain to you?

[Adalira]

Mermaid Lunette, you took the words right out of my mouth. If we could see the text between you two we may be able to point out where it may have gone wrong.

[Mermaid Lunette]

yes^

people usually don't just block someone for no reason at all, it is very likely a misunderstanding happened.

[Adalira]

I totally agree with you ^

[Merman Chatfish]

hmmm, have you been messaging her back and forth? would you be willing to show us the exact conversation or exactly what you said?

maybe you acciedntally mispoke somewhere that we can point out and explain to you?


Mermaid Lunette, you took the words right out of my mouth. If we could see the text between you two we may be able to point out where it may have gone wrong.

It obviously only has the recorded stuff but here you go: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/14949622/Conversation.txt
I read some of the stuff we said while reformatting the text to make it easier to read. I miss her.

[Mermaid Lunette]

hmmm, that does seem like a lot of consistent back and forth, but to be honest i feel like her very first response is probably the best way to explain it. coming out of the blue to someone and bringing up your therapist, especially so often, is a very intimate thing to do. so when you do that it is almost like forcing that intimacy on someone else, and social cue's are very important to people.

she might have felt better after you acknowledged her that first time, but it is very likely you might have invaded her personal space again or didn't pick up on her cues? (that was a very long dialogue of text so i have not had the chance to read it all.)

also, as a side note. 99% of the time friendships happen naturally. like, saying "are we friends" , "can we be friends" is not something that is usually said in friendships. usually you hang out with someone and after you both get comfortable THEN you start talking about personal stuff (like your therapist and other intimate details, if the person seems comfortable) and then suddenly you are friends.

asking someone you just met or don't know very well to give you a specific defintion (like friendship) so suddenly, while telling them that you have been talking about them to your therapist is very forward and intimidating. asking someone to be your friend is asking them to commit to you (via friendship) and something like that is something people do naturally because it feels right, asking like that comes off as awkward and a bit forceful. if someone is your friend, they just become your friend. i know you want them to define it for you but generally that is not how people are.

hang out with people, if they seem receptive then talk to them one on one, then hang out with them one on one and before you know it (if you just let yourself and everyone else behave naturally) suddenly you are their friend.

[Adalira]

I agree with Mermaid Lunette, i agree with everything she said.
I read the first part of the entire link and the last part and the one thing that kept popping up was that you were putting pressure on wanting that label of "friends".
Like Lunette said, friendship is something that does not need to have a label. You know you are friends.
If you are questioning the friendship then you are not friends.
I also agree that bringing up your therapist can be off putting to a lot of people, it is such a personal and private thing that people may feel you are over sharing with them too soon.
Friendship takes time and it has to flow naturally.
If you are the one constantly asking to hang out with the other then that is not friendship.
It should be an effortless back and forth thing.
At the end of your link you asked this: "Can I ask you a question to clarify something involving our relationship?"
Calling it a relationship would be off putting to me. Wether i was single or not.
If someone throws the word relationship at me, someone who i only know for a short period of time, i would be freaked out a bit, almost feel suffocated.
Next time you meet someone who you would like to be friends with and you talk to on Facebook, let them come to you as well.
If you are always the one seeking the contact with him/her, always the one asking to hang out etc then it is not a friendship.
But trust me, friends are hard to find.
At least the kind you are talking about, the ones to hang out with, get a hug from in times of need.
Those friendships are very rare and super hard to find.
And when you find someone that could potentially be that for you, you need to build up towards that.
It could take years to get to that point.
Outside of my family i maybe have 1 friend like that, maybe 2 but not even sure about that.
And it took years to get to the point where she said:" If you need me, this is my number and call me whenever even if it is in the middle of the night."
She only said that to me the past few months.

So her is my advice:
- Do not over share so much private information so early on, and definitely do not mention you talk about that person in therapy
- Do not put pressure on the other in any way, that means not asking for a label of friendship, not always being the person taking initiative etc
- Let it flow naturally
- Be very alert and pick up on cues from the other, if you are invading their personal space or not, if they are interested in the conversation or not.
For instance if you are talking to someone and they don't seem interested, simply cut off the conversation politely and move on.
Here is a link i found that may be helpful:
http://www.howcast.com/videos/410140-how-to-read-social-cues/

[Mermaid Lunette]

I agree with Mermaid Lunette, i agree with everything she said.
I read the first part of the entire link and the last part and the one thing that kept popping up was that you were putting pressure on wanting that label of "friends".
Like Lunette said, friendship is something that does not need to have a label. You know you are friends.
If you are questioning the friendship then you are not friends.
I also agree that bringing up your therapist can be off putting to a lot of people, it is such a personal and private thing that people may feel you are over sharing with them too soon.
Friendship takes time and it has to flow naturally.
If you are the one constantly asking to hang out with the other then that is not friendship.
It should be an effortless back and forth thing.
At the end of your link you asked this: "Can I ask you a question to clarify something involving our relationship?"
Calling it a relationship would be off putting to me. Wether i was single or not.
If someone throws the word relationship at me, someone who i only know for a short period of time, i would be freaked out a bit, almost feel suffocated.
Next time you meet someone who you would like to be friends with and you talk to on Facebook, let them come to you as well.
If you are always the one seeking the contact with him/her, always the one asking to hang out etc then it is not a friendship.
But trust me, friends are hard to find.
At least the kind you are talking about, the ones to hang out with, get a hug from in times of need.
Those friendships are very rare and super hard to find.
And when you find someone that could potentially be that for you, you need to build up towards that.
It could take years to get to that point.
Outside of my family i maybe have 1 friend like that, maybe 2 but not even sure about that.
And it took years to get to the point where she said:" If you need me, this is my number and call me whenever even if it is in the middle of the night."
She only said that to me the past few months.

So her is my advice:
- Do not over share so much private information so early on, and definitely do not mention you talk about that person in therapy
- Do not put pressure on the other in any way, that means not asking for a label of friendship, not always being the person taking initiative etc
- Let it flow naturally
- Be very alert and pick up on cues from the other, if you are invading their personal space or not, if they are interested in the conversation or not.
For instance if you are talking to someone and they don't seem interested, simply cut off the conversation politely and move on.
Here is a link i found that may be helpful:
http://www.howcast.com/videos/410140-how-to-read-social-cues/

^^^^^^^ yes, yes and more yes!

all of that.

i know you said you are difficult at reading social cues so maybe it would also be a good idea to go online and research and learn ways that you can recognize them better. they are very important and to many a important thing so for the sake of friendship it is probably worth educating yourself about how to improve that skill in yourself.

[Mermaid Lunette]

opp, just realized adalira beat me to it with the link on social ques ^^;

however i would still encourage you to go on your own and find even more content about social ques and norms to educate yourself, i feel that would help you a lot.

[IllynReaver]

It obviously only has the recorded stuff but here you go: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/14949622/Conversation.txt
I read some of the stuff we said while reformatting the text to make it easier to read. I miss her.

So I didn't read everything on that link you provided, but agreeing with Lunette and Adalira. My perspective on this, if it was me, I personally would have felt uncomfortable knowing that every conversation I had with you was being analyzed and picked apart by your therapist to determine why I wasn't "friends" with you. It's one thing to talk with your therapist about things to figure them out, another entirely to say to tell someone you're discussing interactions you had with them to your therapist. I get that you're lonely, that you have problems with social cues. I will say that sometimes you're going to have people agree to hangout because they either don't want to hurt your feelings, or they've dealt with really creepy guys who went off on them for outright saying no. I don't know you personally, but you do come across awfully strong in that conversation you shared. As soon as she said you came across as creepy and made her uncomfortable you should have backed off. It really seemed like you were pressuring her into being friends.

[Merman Chatfish]

It is fairly well known in my theater group that I do go to a therapist and have troubles with social interactions (pretty much ausburgers with bad eye contact from my ADD). I get told a lot that people usually only have one or two friends but I see people on Facebook hanging out with many other people so the logic doesn't fit for me. Another problem is that I don't know the actual definition of friendship because different people tell me different things. In college friend A would tell me friend B wasn't a friend because of how she treated me, and friend B would tell me the same of friend A for different reasons. Friend A was my best friend in college, who became friends with me initially out of pity.

My first task is just getting myself into situations to meet people.

IllynReaver, what do you mean by strong?

[Mermaid Lunette]

It is fairly well known in my theater group that I do go to a therapist and have troubles with social interactions (pretty much ausburgers with bad eye contact from my ADD). I get told a lot that people usually only have one or two friends but I see people on Facebook hanging out with many other people so the logic doesn't fit for me. Another problem is that I don't know the actual definition of friendship because different people tell me different things. In college friend A would tell me friend B wasn't a friend because of how she treated me, and friend B would tell me the same of friend A for different reasons. Friend A was my best friend in college, who became friends with me initially out of pity.

My first task is just getting myself into situations to meet people.

IllynReaver, what do you mean by strong?


people may know you go to therapy, but that does not make someone prepared to hear you basically say "i talk about you not being my friend to my therapist" i know you didnkt say those exact words to your therapist but that is most likely how she felt when you told her. Talking about details of your therapy to someone is intimidating, the therapy itself is not much of an issue, but you went into detail about it which will make most people uncomfortable, especially when you have barely interacted enough with the person.


also, people who have a lot of people added on facebook is not the same as having a close friend whom they can talk to and hug if they need it. facebook friends are just people you chat with occasionally, it doesn't mean they are close. lots of people even just 'collect' facebook friends and barely talk to any of those people (it is messed up and i do not understand it either, but it is a thing) also, what other people do and what you do are two completely different things.

[Merman Chatfish]

also, people who have a lot of people added on facebook is not the same as having a close friend whom they can talk to and hug if they need it. facebook friends are just people you chat with occasionally, it doesn't mean they are close. lots of people even just 'collect' facebook friends and barely talk to any of those people (it is messed up and i do not understand it either, but it is a thing) also, what other people do and what you do are two completely different things.
Sorry I meant seeing pictures of people doing stuff with friends.

[Adalira]

I think you are way too focused on the wrong thing.
You are focused on facebook photos of friends hanging out.
There are also tons and tons of people who don´t share photos of that simply because they don´t have those photos.
I am one of those who does not have photos like that.
A friend of mine posts a lot of photos of her and her hubby doing fun things and being active, being happy and healthy.
The truth is though that she is very ill and feels like crap every day. She posts those photos to make it seem like she is leading a happy healthy life.
I truly know her as a close online friend and she told me that she posts those to make it seem like she is happy and healthy.
Not always what you see on facebook is the truth.
Those people on those photos you talk about could be very lonely as well, but lonely on a different level.
Maybe they are lonely in the sense of not having a relationship, not having that special someone to share their lifes with.
Maybe they are lonely because they feel their friendships are very superficial and no depth.
You are doing something that you should never be doing..... you are judging a book by it´s cover.
Unless you know these people personally and very very well and are very close to them you can not judge wether or not they are truly happy, wether or not they are not just as lonely as you just simply on another level.
Having a group of friends to hang out with is not everything, it does not mean they will fill up the emptyness you are feeling.
Even if you were in those photos with all those people, if there is no true friendship and no depth, just a superficial `hang out together and make a photo of it` thing....from what you have been telling us, that is not what you are looking for either.

I agree with everything Lunette has said and Illynreaver.
If everyone knows you go to therapy that´s fine, but it´s a whole other thing to tell people you are talking about them in therapy.
My suggestion is, if they don´t know you go to therapy then don´t share that with them untill you are friends.
I understand it is hard to know when someone is your friend or not.
But it truly is something you feel.
If you hang out, or talk and it is a back and forth thing and not one sided. If that person is there for you when you need to talk and doesn´t blow you off, then that is friendship.
I have no idea why those girls in college would tell you that the other is not your friend. Did you ask them if they were your friends?
Because asking someone if they are your friend is something i would not do either.
Let it flow naturally.
Asking about it puts pressure on it and makes it forced.