I'm so sorry this happened, Celeste! Just don't let him get you down. If he doesn't except you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you.
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I'm so sorry this happened, Celeste! Just don't let him get you down. If he doesn't except you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you.
It is almost impossible to find a high level riding instructor without owning a sport horse. I am going to have to pay fifty extra bucks to use a horse belonging to the one instructor I found willing to lend a mount, bringing the lesson price up to $150 USD per lesson. I understand that horses is a tough business but I wish there was some kind of middle ground between a mostly beginner barn where you compete at schooling shows that basically give ribbons to "the best of the worst" and A show barns that expect you to own a $20,000 horse, pay $1,200 a month for training and board, and spend at least $1,000 per show. I just feel so frustrated! I LOVE riding and I want to be a GOOD rider, but it is so expensive! I went to a schooling show yesterday just to watch and it HAMMERED into me, however, why I need a good barn. The riding was TERRIBLE. Not a single horse in the "hunter division" moved like a hunter and some were just flat out nags. There were riders who shouldn't have been allowed out if the roundpen riding the 2 foot division and no one even signed up for their "highest" division--3 foot. I do not want to be stuck at that level forever, but I can't afford a horse that costs as much as my car and can colic at any moment.
I am SO not the one to care about having money or designer brands or anything like that, but my love of horses is the one thing that makes me really wish I was a trust fund baby.
I am also bipolar, do I understand that it can be tough on friends and family.... However, what he said was flat out wrong. He's a bastard, plain and simple. If he really loved you he would try and join up with you to help you and work things out, not throw you away and act like him being around is some big favor.
Don't even consider taking that slimeball back! He's demanding that you suddenly not have a serious health problem, one that's lifelong in most patients, in six months time AND demanding that you not take the medicine you need to manage that condition? Seriously? Would he dump a diabetic for taking insulin, too? He wants you to lose weight, too! Brilliant idea, you'll only have to chop off a limb! You're a fit woman, you don't need to lose any weight. The man is sleaze! A man like that is very easy to replace, since they're a dime a dozen. Loving someone with mood swings may not be easy at times, but if he was half the man he seems to think he is, he would find it the most rewarding relationship he's ever been in. You can do so much better than him!
Celeste, what everyone else said about your ex is dead on. I know you're hurting, and knowing he's a jerk doesn't stop that, at least for a while. I'm sorry that happened to you. Just don't take his behavior or anything he said to you as a reflection of YOU. He just outed himself for being a creep, and he must secretly hate himself to treat someone else like that. You have people who really care about you, so remember that, and don't feel alone. And you don't owe him anything, not another word, or breath, or minute of your time. Just focus on yourself and healing your heart. :)
Thank you guys for all of your kind words. I'm going to get used to the empty spot in my bed by buying an anime-boy (Haru from Free!) shaped body pillow. At least it won't steal the sheets.
ok so not really bitching but frusterating. I was friended by a teen from Poland recently, we have more than 10 friends in common, all mers. The past two days she messages me with 'how are you?' to which I reply with 'fine, and you?' and 'good, busy getting ready for the 4 day weekend for the kids'. her responses? 'ok'. so I try to engage her in conversation
me: what are you up to?
her: ok
me: is it snowing yet, where you are? We never get snow here, I miss it
her: ok
I mean come on! the language barrier isn't that bad between us, hell I have amazing conversations with my friend (and one of my favorite actors/musicians) Max and he speaks primarily German. We use translators for certain things.
What's a spam bot for?
And that explains some weird "conversations" I have had (or rather, not had) on FB.
Always starts with some random, who may or may not have friended me before, messaging me with "hey how are you", and reply with "ok" or "well" and nothing else if you say something back.
I asked someone who I didn't recognize, "I'm well, and do I know you?" and the reply was "well" and nothing else was forthcoming lol.
Spam bot would make sense, but this one plays games on FB too
Does anyone know a girl called Ashlee Shepherd? She came onto my mermaid page and commented on a video of mine saying my tails were hideous and the ugliest things she has ever seen. - okay so in the video i have my blue tail home made and my green magic tail. I responded to the comment saying - sorry you don't like them Ashlee, good thing you don't have to wear them then. I also sent her a personal message to ask what her problem was and why she felt the need to publicly bash my work. I checked her page and we have no mutual friends, however she has liked a bunch of other mer pages - mostly mers with silicone tails. Her reply to me was just dismissive and rude so I gave as good as she was giving, she's so quick to judge even though she's not even a mermaid ? and now I'm getting bitchy but jeezzzz look in the mirror before you start judging others... her cosplay isn't anything to rave about ! has she been on anyone else's page spreading her nastiness ?
Yeah I don't know its just so weird - it doesnt seem like she is in the mer community other than liking a few pages but oh well, I guess it might make her feel better about something
There are plenty of people (mainly I have seen YouTube users) who bash mermaids that don't use silicone tails. I guess that in their mind, if you don't have the most expensive and realistic tail there is, you are a "fail", "not real", "OMG fake" and so on.
I had a comment saying that I "defiantly (sic) needed a Mertailor tail". I read it as "You have potential but unless you get a realistic tail you are not worth it".
Someone said I lied about who made my tail lol
this.
Thankfully, Nagas aren't as popular as mermaids, but even so I get some comments like "this fabric is slightly translucent when wet, that's a problem" on videos where I'm trying out if it's possible to swim in a long snake tail without monofin.
If there were tailmakers who made silicone snake tails, I'm sure I would get just as much crap as other mers :p
This is one of the reasons why I have no immediate ambitions to become a professional mermaid. If I were to advertise myself as a mermaid, then everybody would expect me not only to have a tail but an expensive, "realistic" one at that. And that would mean having to invest a lot of money right from the start. I haven't even figured out whether or not I'd be comfortable with swimming with my legs together (comfortable in the sense that I'm not having panic attacks all the time wondering if I'm about to drown). Being a hobbyist has its advantages sometimes. I can take things at my own pace and do things my own way (such as go for scale-patterned leggings plus swim fins instead of a tail, at least to begin with). But yeah, it bothers me too that some people think silicone is the only option.
When you're actually doing something that you love to do, professionally or not, it makes people mad. They get furious that you've ignored societies stigmas and bullshit and are doing something different and they are not doing it because they are afraid. So instead of seeing what you do as inspiration to be brave, they attack you. All of those negative comments and the "fake!" shouts say everything about the person saying them, nothing about you. That person is being fake about who they are and who they want to be, while you are being honest about what makes you happy. Don't let their insecurities get you down. You don't have time for that, you have mermaid shit to do. :)