B!TC# IT OUT!

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Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren

So over the weekend i kept getting asked for babies. i typed up the whole thing on my blog:

http://seaglasssiren.blogspot.ca/201...i-warning.html

TL;DR, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ASKING ME FOR BABIES. I AM NOT A BABY PUMPING MACHINE.

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Wow...i totally get where you are coming from here.
Me and my husband are not officially married yet. We just feel married and already people ask us about babies. I am 31 and not planning to have kids any time soon and most likely not ever.
We may adopt one day...who knows but i do not want kids for the next years to come.
For some reason the general "normal" way of thinking seems to be that happy man and happy woman equals baby making lol.
I have no idea why people feel that your lifes are not complete without babies?
People ask me to when we will have babies or when we will get married. It is strange that people feel the need to push their opinion on you in this case.
Since you and your husband have decided to do things differently than "normal" couples....you have to pay a price of having to hear others opinions on it and their "concerns" and doubts off you not pooping out babies by the dozen lol.
Stay strong in what you believe in. It is annoying for sure but don't let it doubt yourself.
Mer hug coming your way! :hug:

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Originally Posted by Adalira

Wow...i totally get where you are coming from here.
Me and my husband are not officially married yet. We just feel married and already people ask us about babies. I am 31 and not planning to have kids any time soon and most likely not ever.
We may adopt one day...who knows but i do not want kids for the next years to come.
For some reason the general "normal" way of thinking seems to be that happy man and happy woman equals baby making lol.
I have no idea why people feel that your lifes are not complete without babies?
People ask me to when we will have babies or when we will get married. It is strange that people feel the need to push their opinion on you in this case.
Since you and your husband have decided to do things differently than "normal" couples....you have to pay a price of having to hear others opinions on it and their "concerns" and doubts off you not pooping out babies by the dozen lol.
Stay strong in what you believe in. It is annoying for sure but don't let it doubt yourself.
Mer hug coming your way! :hug:

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I know them feels. My SO and I aren't planning on marrying, aren't planning on children either, and we;re both Atheists. We are the 'sore thumbs' on both sides of our family, who expect us to be religious, married, and popping out the babies. All just to please them.

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Originally Posted by -Annwyn-

I know them feels. My SO and I aren't planning on marrying, aren't planning on children either, and we;re both Atheists. We are the 'sore thumbs' on both sides of our family, who expect us to be religious, married, and popping out the babies. All just to please them.

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It is weird how old fashioned people are still thinking.
My hubby and i are both non religious and are families aren't religious either luckily. I am sorry you also have to deal with that issue :(

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Originally Posted by Adalira

It is weird how old fashioned people are still thinking.
My hubby and i are both non religious and are families aren't religious either luckily. I am sorry you also have to deal with that issue :(

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The religious side can be interesting for the LOL factor. But my sister's husband is dangerous type of religious fucktard. For example, at my (now 7 years old) nieces christening, he decides to do a sermon on the 'Binding of Isaac', complete with a live demonstration by holding a live blade to my infant niece's throat. Last christmas he verbally abused me, physically abused my niece and instead of an apology, he's now telling his children that he hates be because I'm 'Evil'. And there's my sister being a stupid, quiet, compliant, 'godly' woman. Urrrghhhh.

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Originally Posted by -Annwyn-

The religious side can be interesting for the LOL factor. But my sister's husband is dangerous type of religious fucktard. For example, at my (now 7 years old) nieces christening, he decides to do a sermon on the 'Binding of Isaac', complete with a live demonstration by holding a live blade to my infant niece's throat. Last christmas he verbally abused me, physically abused my niece and instead of an apology, he's now telling his children that he hates be because I'm 'Evil'. And there's my sister being a stupid, quiet, compliant, 'godly' woman. Urrrghhhh.

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Oh my god...that is absolutly awfull.....i don't want to offend anyone here that is religious but religious people scare me...especially the ones that are REALLY religious like you just described....off course everything they do....good or bad... they can defend because it's in the bible or because it is god's will or any other religious type sayings......yikes!

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Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren

So over the weekend i kept getting asked for babies. i typed up the whole thing on my blog:

http://seaglasssiren.blogspot.ca/201...i-warning.html

TL;DR, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ASKING ME FOR BABIES. I AM NOT A BABY PUMPING MACHINE.

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You are not the only one! I feel you. I literally had to tell my mother that our relationship would be over if she brought up me having babies one more time, and if I found out she was pressuring my sister, I'd stop talking to her too. No one - not even our husbands - has any right to demand babies from us. Fortunately, plenty of our husbands also don't want children.

Congrats on getting married! :)

Babies? Ewww! I don't plan on ever procreating either, children are not something I want in my life. It's weird enough being around my friend's kids, and I hardly ever see them! It sucks getting harassed about having kids, I'm not even in a relationship! Whenever I say "Kids just aren't for me," because people look at me like I'm the scum of the Earth if I'm blunt and say that I hate kids, I always get remarks like "You're still young, you never know," or "You may change your mind later." It's almost always from other women, too! You would think they'd be more supportive of a fellow female exercising agency in her own life!

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Originally Posted by Naufra

Babies? Ewww! I don't plan on ever procreating either, children are not something I want in my life. It's weird enough being around my friend's kids, and I hardly ever see them! It sucks getting harassed about having kids, I'm not even in a relationship! Whenever I say "Kids just aren't for me," because people look at me like I'm the scum of the Earth if I'm blunt and say that I hate kids, I always get remarks like "You're still young, you never know," or "You may change your mind later." It's almost always from other women, too! You would think they'd be more supportive of a fellow female exercising agency in her own life!

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Oh same boat, I do not want kids, but soooooooo many people get up in arms about it. I also get the "you'll change your mind" line a lot too! Sometimes it as if they are trying to jinx me! They will tell me stories of women before me who said the same thing and be like, "and SHE has 3 kids now!" So basically they are trying to dismiss my decisions as naive or temporary. ONE PERSON EVEN HAD THEN NERVE TO TELL ME THE REASON I SHOULD HAVE KIDS IS BECAUSE I HAVE "BIRTHING HIPS". All I can think is like, my figure is not a reason to have kids, WANTING TO HAVE KIDS IS THE ONLY REASON SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE KIDS.

And ya know what should be the best reason for not having kids?
Because you don't want them!

I hate as if people think that if you don't want kids that is not a good enough reason not to have them xc like, you want people to have kids they don't want? Bro, that is why foster cares and such are over-run.

Gah, people just don't give a poop at my heavy desire to not want kids (well, the people I care about most do, so that is a major help.) Oh, and trying to explain that I am tokaphobic? Forget about it!

And to be honest, I wanna get my tubes tied, but I have heard so many horror stories of doctors being like, "you have to at least have 1 baby first" or "I don't feel it would be ritght for me ethically to do that." Which, just the thought makes me want to vomit.

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Lunette

And to be honest, I wanna get my tubes tied, but I have heard so many horror stories of doctors being like, "you have to at least have 1 baby first" or "I don't feel it would be ritght for me ethically to do that." Which, just the thought makes me want to vomit.

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Ugh tell me about it. If someone suddenly decides they want to have kids after having their tubes tied they can adopt. Too many people in the world already, many of them parent-less. I plan on having kids, but that plan comes with the cognitive dissonance of not wanting to ruin the planet :\

Exactly....My hubby and i have said that we may adopt in the future since there are tons of babies who need a home already out there.
But both of us don't like kids....so maybe we will never adopt either.
Some women just all melt inside when they hold a baby and go oooh and aaaaah....when i hold one i feel soooo uncomfortable.....no motherly instincts in this one over here lol.
I fully agree that the only reason to have kids is if you want them, not because people feel you should have them because they feel it is "normal" to have them.

I have some very good news by the way....an update about the woman who ordered the Magic Wand and went insane on me....
She finally wrote me back and wrote me an apology. She said she was old and new to the internet and had no idea what she was doing.
She also said she did not mean for everyone to see her message on our facebook page....honestly i don't buy a word of it since she posted it everywhere and even left us the bad review.
She even wrote again she had no idea she was ordering a wand from me even though you have to choose a color yourself when ordering one and it has the number of each specific wand in the order form so she had to click on that specifically.
I think she is afraid that she won't get a refund if she is not nice to us.
I am happy to have her apology in writing though.
In the end she wrote that she would ship the Magic Wand back to me :)

Quick warning about a tubal, they're not foolproof. Especially after the 5 year mark. It's not common but I've known a few ladies who have had surprises years and years after getting tubals.

That being said, babies are not for everyone. Don't let anyone bitch at you for your choice


Sent from my Shellphone using Tapatalk

I was typing up a long winded response on my phone when the forum logged me out. so i hopped on my computer to retype everything. this is how much i love you ladies.

On top of what you guys have said (btw totally agree with each and every single one of you) My main reasons for not having children were from a financial standpoint. Just bought a house, have my whole life to live and once you have that baby, all that income will be put towards the baby and not for your enjoyment. I'm still young i have my entire life to live, i don't plan on throwing all my hopes and dreams down the proverbial toilet just yet to have a kid i don't want.

It's not even the fact that i dislike children. i know how to take care of children and i'm great with kids, i've been a babysitter for my niece ever since she was a baby (actually like a second mother since hers would always leave her) and i HAVE experienced the joys of raising a child, even though she wasn't mine. to top that off, children cling onto me wherever i go. + i worked at an anumement park and now at disney. kids. kids everywhere. I've even taken a parenting class, fake baby and everything. i did exceptionally well.
And i have very mild tokophobia. i finally decided parenting wasn't for me.
some people aren't meant for parenthood....
Like Annwyn's brother in law. seriously he is fucked up.. how come no one sent him to the police?? he put a knife on his BABY'S THROAT....

I also get the "you'll change your mind" talk from people who are... less understanding. Like my mother. But at the same time she also agrees with the points i've made so she's actually been really supportive of my decision to be child-free. (i hate the term child-less, that makes it sound like i want children but can't have any.) My mom AND dad DEFENDED ME against my mother-in-law and her sisters because they kept trying to enforce the "carrying on the lineage or legacy" bullshit.

it got to a point where my husband and i had a sit down to talk about child planning and what we're gonna do. i had told him if it was about "passing down legacy" issues i am allowing him to sleep with another woman to extend his blood line, and that i have no such intentions of ruining my life so early on just because his mother demands us of it. fuck oldschool mentality.
we also talked about the adoption method.
1) the child benefits and gets to live in a loving home and will be cared for. hopefully.
2) no childbirthing = no pain.
3) like adarila said, tons of children on the earth already that don't have a home. world is way too overpopulated.

In the end we agreed, "no children."

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Originally Posted by Adalira

Oh my god...that is absolutly awfull.....i don't want to offend anyone here that is religious but religious people scare me...especially the ones that are REALLY religious like you just described....off course everything they do....good or bad... they can defend because it's in the bible or because it is god's will or any other religious type sayings......yikes!

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I'd like to counter this. It isn't technically religion that destroys people. It's the extremists believers that like to twist every word of religious texts to control people.
even if they defend their actions because it's some part of the holy scripture, i call bullshark on it. there's a reason why there's a new testament in the bible; it's because the old testament doesn't apply any more.

Yeah if people aren't particularly concerned with lineage or having a child that looks like them and their partner, adoption is the way to go. It also means you can choose to adopt if/whenever you like, when you know you're financially stable and are happy with your place in life. One could adopt at 50, when you've made a pretty sum and are close to kicking back in retirement!

actually studies show that if you remain child free, the money you make and save within your entire lifetime (that usually goes into a child...keyword, A child.. only one.) will make you a millionaire.

Exactly! If someone did want kids later in life, they'd have plenty of money to support an adopted child. As such there's no reason why anyone should be "forced" to have kids while they still can, even for the reason that "you might want them later on". It is a massive life decision and one that could easily take your entire life to decide on.

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