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My dad hates and acts like its the end of the world that I want to get a college degree in something like fashion design or art, or go to school to learn how to do hair and makeup. I know that hair and makeup doesn't get you a lot of money and you probably need another job on the side, but I just really want to do what I want to do and not get yelled at for it!
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That is a rough one to deal with Kelly. When I was in college a few years back my parents were the same way. (My mom has some pretty gnarly anger issues and from what you've said I was living in a similar situation to what you face with your parents) I had been studying business composition because writing comes naturally to me when I put my mind to the task, but It was acting like a huge soul suck and I didn't want to keep working for the company I was working for. I switched to an internship with a shoe designer in marketing for awhile and then I got what my mother calls a useless degree (I hold a degree in holistic health and healing). It doesn't matter that it was how I learned to manage my very problematic chronic health conditions, she says to this day I wasted everyones time and her money (i paid for my college though not her) for something that has no use. I also took many costuming classes since well, I costume and entertain for chidlren and apparently that is throwing my life away even though I have an "propper" 9-5 M-F office job as well. Anyways...the point is yeah it sucks and I'm sorry you have to go through that.
It is important to follow your dreams though. You can't take your money or possessions with you when you go to the big ocean in the sky, so to speak. So it is important to enjoy your life and do the things that make you happy. Sometimes that means working a "pay the bills" job while doing what you love as a side job or a second job. I took a stand against my mom and it was really scary and really hard to do but I basically wrote out what I planned...."look I understand what I want to do wont always pay my bills or keep me afloat as an adult so this is my plan for that part, and this is how I can make it to do [blank] to support myself while still getting the training and skills I need to chase my real dream." Your dad may not listen the first time, the second, or even the third, but just keep your plan and every time he yells or puts down your dreams just calmly acknowledge his concerns (i know its hard but being the bigger person goes over way better) and then restate your plan. Eventually it will sink in or he will have to deal with not being there when you get your dreams and are out from under his power. But it will help you feel more grounded and stable in the meantime. You can use your plan as a rock to get you through all the BS that you have to face now. a light at the end of the tunnel kind of thing.
My grandmother and I were talking about writing and whether or not a writer should only draw on experience. So I mentioned a story I wrote that involves miscarriage. It also involves mother-daughter relationships from the mother's point of view. But I am a daughter, so that's less of a stretch.
The salient point was: "And I've never experienced a miscarriage, and given that I don't plan on having any kids, I probably never will."
So then my grandmother tells me "when you have your first kid, I'll be sure to remind you that you're never having any kids."
So I snapped at her. And got forced to apologize. Of course, my grandmother also apologized, but I've been especially sensitive fo misogyny today, so I'm still stewing.
This is why I have trust issues with Chinese people :| (ok I know, not all Chinese. Just read below.)
Mers in the Greater Toronto Area, don't ever go to Warriors Ink tattoo shop at Pacific Mall.
I went to this shop to book a tattoo appointment for August 6th as a birthday tattoo gift to myself and he guy tells me to send him some images so he can sketch them out and send the rough images to me to see if i liked them. Ok cool so we picked the date and he wrote it in his book and I wrote it in mine and made sure I got the time down as well. I go to pay the deposit and I didn't sign off on any document saying this guy would keep my deposit 100% if I cancelled otherwise I wouldn't have changed my mind in the first place.
So March 16 rolls around and I send him the pictures of the mermaid and he says "ok" but then emails me back saying "how come you always don't show up for your appointment?"
Well what did he mean by that? I only showed up the one time and confirmed the date.
August 6 at 1pm just like what my agenda says. So something clicked and didn't feel right so I email him again to cancel the appointment but he doesn't reply back so I emailed him again yesterday.
I got a reply back today saying I'm not getting my refund back because I didn't show up for my appointment. UH last time I checked its April, not August.
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I'll probably delete my screenshots in a bit but it's there just so everyone gets context . Guy could've easily called me or emailed me but he didnt.
actually never mind I'll just leave my email and number up there.
Hey you don't know me, and this is crazy, but there's my number. So call me maybe��
That does sound awful. Sigh.
I guess this is less of a bitch it out and more of a place that I feel like I can talk about what is bothering me without maybe seeming like I am furious. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel because I am trying to be immensely patient and wait but I am going onday 447 of waiting for my merbella tail and I have not even gotten a sketch yet of what my tail is supposed to look like. I'm not sure at one point when I am supposed to maybe start being a little more pushy, I don't want to be angry or mean or anything like that I'm just getting concerned. I was going to try to get married this Summer based on estimated times that it took for people to get their mermaid tails before but clearly that's not the case and I might have to wait another year before I can get married now. It's hard to try and plan a wedding when your dress, or in this case tail, isn't done you don't even know what it's going to look like yet so you can't coordinate anything and people are breathing down your neck about you getting married because you've been engaged for 8 years now. I guess I am getting irritated but I am doing my best to remain understanding. And I really am trying to be like "she's very busy, she has this client she's working for, this person she has to do this, she deserves time off you know to spend with herself and her husband" and I am almost getting to the point where I'm starting to get mad at myself for becoming upset at this. But if this was any other industry would I be as laxed, or would I be more angry? It's 447 days of not hearing anything about the tail. I paid over $3,000 over a year ago and I've not heard anything about mine. I don't know what to do.
https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t5...U2Ng%3D%3D.2.lQuote:
Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren
(I'm sorry, I saw an opportunity to finally use this meme and I took it)
I can't imagine what you are going through. Not getting a tail after waiting 447 days for it is bad enough but for you to not even have a sketch of what the tail is supposed to look like has to be frustrating. Then to add on to it it is interfering with your wedding! I personally would contact her about the situation. Not in a mean way but just to get a better idea of what to expect in the future. Good luck with the wedding btw.Quote:
Originally Posted by Little_Orca
not gonna lie that was pretty hilarious. I wasn't expecting that. XDQuote:
Originally Posted by SeaMansa
also I've read everything on here from different mers. Everyone has my sympathies and I am angry for you all. Especially Celeste. That guy is a bag of dirty douchewater.
oh my goodness, which tailmaker?!Quote:
Originally Posted by Little_Orca
^ merbella
Merbella, for which wait times of over 600 days are pretty standard.
Even still, not even so much as a sketch or anything?
Have to say I sympathize with bith parties on this one. It's always scary, putting lots of money into something and not getting much info, but I understand Raven is pretty consistently swamped.
With Raven being one of the more sought after tail makers, it's understandable that she's constantly working her tail off. But I'm sorry, I guess I'm just an impatient arse, but I would be getting pretty heated by now and would have expected a sketch by now. I understand the wait period, but geez.
Yeah, and I am trying to be patient and understanding, but not even as much as a sketch... It just is another thing putting my wedding on hold.
So... bad news and good news.
I discovered a couple days ago that there would be a large tabletop gaming day at the mall, where anybody could playtest whatever game they wanted until midnight for free. So as soon as I found out, I excitedly told my roommates and invited them on facebook to join me. The one roommate that has been excluding me said that he was going to be in a different city that day- so he wouldn't be able to join. Good.
So I tagged four of my closest friends in the area who might be interested in going with me- and asked if they wanted to go. Only my best friend responded.
Yesterday was the day of the event, and I ended up having a nasty PTSD episode as I was getting ready to get everyone together to go. Luckily, my best friend was there and eventually got me to calm down and took care of me- and even invited me to come watch Gravity Falls with her. We watched an episode, and then I remembered that we should have left a while ago to go to this event. And then it happened....
"Oh, <exclusion roommate> set our RP night to be tonight. I'm just waiting on the rest of the friends to be here."
Yep. He knew that I had planned for our friends to go out and play tabletop games, but instead- had convinced EVERYONE that I invited to join his RP game that exact same day and time- AFTER I sent the invite out. Not only did he lie about not being in town, he convinced everyone to change their plans and exclude me.
I was livid. I finally snapped, and said, "Ok, you know what, you're right. You guys go have fun WITHOUT ME, AGAIN. I know your game will be so much better without me being around. Goodnight." And started to storm upstairs. My best friend chased me upstairs and decided that instead of waiting around for friends x and y to show up for the RP night, we were just going to go to the tabletop event together right then and there.
Best friend saves the day!
I finally told her in the car how I felt about being constantly excluded from all of roommate's games and get-togethers with friends- and how it has gotten to the point where I am now giving said roommate the silent treatment (you know, for my own sanity). I love my friend, but she is kinda dense at times. Despite this happening multiple times in the past, she never really put the pieces together. So now she knows, and she will be talking to him about it when she gets the chance.
Aw it just breaks my heart reading this :( I remember when you first discussed this idea online and how excited you were. And you've been waiting so long. I know everyone thinks I have this magic line to Raven or power over her (lol) sometimes I wish I did. My messages to her will go unread for weeks as well. I know right now she's travelling and may have only just got back or will be getting back, but if I were you I wouldnt feel bad in the slightest about sending her an email or message. You HAVE been waiting a long time, and I know you try to be really respectful and not bother anyone. I think Raven's always struggled with the "squeeky wheels" taking over in her tail queue. So the quiet ones who are trying not to bug her don't get as much attention. But it's OK to be squeaky once in a while you know? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Little_Orca
MermaidCelesteFL I am so sorry you have to deal with this jerk. I myself have dealt with one person turning all of my friends against me and I know how lonely it feels. I'm glad you told your best friend how you feel and that she understands now. You have her there for you and I think you have alot of people on mernetwork here for you. Just try to focus on the positive things through this hard time as much as you can.
So my step mother has always said
"Youre just as pretty as your sister, just in a different way."
My sister is very pretty, wears makeup often, does her hair, etc etc.
If I'm walking about the house, or just going to their house, or running into town, I don't feel like it means I should wear makeup.
As I've gotten out of the house, got married and such, I feel more and more degraded when she says it.
I just dont like it. At all.
She probably doesn't mean for it to be hurtful. Try telling her how it makes you feel. When I changed my hair color back to brown from blonde, I had several people mention how much better I look with brown hair. I loved my blonde and it hurt when they said it, but I had to remind myself that the people saying it care for me and wouldn't hurt me on purpose. Sometimes people say things and mean well but don't realize it's hurtful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer Mermaid
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Shimmer, forget her. Why do you care what she thinks of you? To paraphrase a favorite movie, 'she has no power over you'.
That movie doesn't happen to be full of goblins and a sexy David bowie in a very revealing outfit does it?
And it has gotten to the point of her saying it more and more often. And making a point of saying it for no reason.
Gee? Maybe? ;) hubba hubba!
Without trying to figure out why she's saying such things, don't bother wasting your energy on it. She's toxic. Tell her to go piss up a rope.
Awesome Labyrinth reference! And good adviceQuote:
Originally Posted by PearlieMae
"Piss up a rope"? That's a new one.
Me and her got into a "creative discussion" yesterday about whether my 16 year old sister should carry a pocket knife when she goes off by herself to the store, or gas station. She thinks it's "not ladylike" and I think it doesn't matter if someone is trying to assult her.
I carry I knife in my bag at all times just in case. And I've had to use it more than once. She literally said "my grandkid will NOT be carrying a pocket knife at a young age" (talking about my baby due in September) and I said "well luckily YOUR grandkid is 27. My father's grandkid however will get a knife the same time I did growing up."
She told my father I was being rude and to tell me to be nice. He laughed and said, "she's grown, married, and pregnant. I'm not telling her diddly squat. Don't start something you can't finish."
I almost died laughing
:lol: Your father is a legend! At least someone's got your back!
Heck yeah he is! He straight up said if he ever wins the lottery the first think he will buy is us mermaids our island. Lmao
We really need to plan this thing out and crowdfund it. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer Mermaid
There must be a way.
Update on an earlier bitch I posted about being impatient about feeling my baby move;
Last night I had stomach ache, and had my hand on my belly, with a small amount of pressure because it hurt.
I felt him or her move last night. I put my husbands hand in the same place and he felt it too. It was really relieving.
Whew, now I can rest a little easier.
Yay! Is this your first? That's always an exciting moment to feel movement. Just wait a while and you'll be saying "stop kicking me in the ribs!" lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer Mermaid
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Yes my first, and I'm very excited. I am really looking forward to finding out the gender
My sister-in-law just found out she's pregnant and I'm kinda jealous. I am not having any more kids though because my health makes it hard to take care of the one I have...and he's 8. I can't imagine trying to take care of a baby now. Congratulations though :-D
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Thank you😊
mermaid knife! heheQuote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer Mermaid
heck, why stop with a pocket knife? strap a sword to your hip (or back, depending on the size). if people can open carry firearms, why not swords?
Depending on the state I think you can legally open carry a bow and arrow. I prefer guns personally but imagine how bad ass you'd look walking down the street wearing a green hood carrying a bow and arrow set.
Shimmer could put in a braid and be all Katniss Everdeen on peeps
My dad bought me a giant pocketknife when I was 16 to keep in my purse at all times. XDQuote:
Me and her got into a "creative discussion" yesterday about whether my 16 year old sister should carry a pocket knife when she goes off by herself to the store, or gas station. She thinks it's "not ladylike" and I think it doesn't matter if someone is trying to assult her.
I carry I knife in my bag at all times just in case. And I've had to use it more than once. She literally said "my grandkid will NOT be carrying a pocket knife at a young age" (talking about my baby due in September) and I said "well luckily YOUR grandkid is 27. My father's grandkid however will get a knife the same time I did growing up."