A Guide to Unwanted Contact: Merverts, Trolls, Collectors, and more with list

I can chime in for the whole Gordon thing. I had a MAJOR string of issues last year with him. Stalked me across several different FB pages (including trying repeatedly to add my personal page, even AFTER blocking every single one I could find), posted lude comments, sent lude/perverted messages to me :/ . I still keep getting notifications of him liking my pages, and am still constantly having to block him. I've lost count of how many accounts I have blocked from him. I've reported him to FB several times for harassment, but he just keeps making more accounts

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mermaid Danielle

I try to give people the 'benefit of doubt', and usually wait for two or three occurrences to establish a pattern that I know I do not want to be apart of. Though, based off of everything that I'm reading from other mers, that process is probably going to come back and bite me in the fin. It might be time for a change in my personal policy on that...

---

As far as Internet relationships go, don't be trusting. In person you have more wiggle room and more of an ability to judge character, online you're safer, but so are they. Ya feel?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yup internet losers bank on people who will be trusting

Contact his wife. End of story.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Anahita

Omg :doh: aren't they f*****g irritating? I swear three times a week I get solicited to move to Dubai. And a dozen times a week I get BS about sex and webcamming.

Lol. No thanks, dude. I didn't have to do it to escape Iran (which is sadly common, Iranian girls getting out of Iran via sex trafficking to Dubai) I'm definitely not going to do it now that I'm safely out of that hell hole.

Fair warning to all female members here, I guess. Unless you know the Arab guy in person, don't take his random FB friend request; especially if you have numerous pictures of you in shell tops or anything that an Arab man will misconstrue as "immodest" because they'll take that as license to treat you like a... Mmmm, what's the nicest way to put it? "Working" girl. :eyeroll:

Also, apologies if it sounds racist what I said. I don't know a more polite way to say it though. I'm really just speaking on personal experience. And I know mers are very friendly, open, and nice people, and sadly those are the very type of people who they like to take advantage of.

---

Oh no I totally know what you mean. I used to be employed under Turkish men for a home remodeling company. I can validate everything you say here. It's very true... it just feels that they don't value women very much. I, even as an AMERICAN woman, felt very oppressed and judged in the work place. Ultimately, I quit. I wasn't going to tolerate it!

^Don't get me started about the family of a Pakistani guy I dated. .. He was alright but his dad was crazy!

Any guy telling me that I am a "sexy" mermaid is grounds for blocking. There are so many other adjectives that could be used that don't send red flags up for me.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mermaid Melusinah

Oh no I totally know what you mean. I used to be employed under Turkish men for a home remodeling company. I can validate everything you say here. It's very true... it just feels that they don't value women very much. I, even as an AMERICAN woman, felt very oppressed and judged in the work place. Ultimately, I quit. I wasn't going to tolerate it!

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raayvhen

^Don't get me started about the family of a Pakistani guy I dated. .. He was alright but his dad was crazy!

---

I don't know if I'm reading it with some misinterpretation, but you guys do realize that there's a difference between Turks, Pakistanis, Arabs, and for good measure just to fully clarify, Afghans, Iranians and Indians, right? I kind of suspect maybe not being able to make that distinction may have led to a lot of misinterpretation in interactions with those people that maybe made the situation feel crazy, oppressive, etc.

I had kind of derailed the thread earlier because my possible mervert to add to the list ended up just being a regular run of the mill perv like the type I deal with regularly. I'm sorry about that, but my words of advice on the matter were meant to be used with some moderate education and knowledge to prevent victimization, not start a discussion on what seems to be a misperception that all middle-eastern men are bad Arabs....

Being able to make that cultural distinction usually saves everyone a LOT of problems. If you can't make that distinction, of course they're going to treat you poorly, because they're assuming you're ignorant and don't deserve to be treated better because, well, you can't treat them with enough respect to know that they're not Arab and have practically nothing in common with Arab culture, with the exception of possibly a religion. Which is 180 from someone thinking you need to be treated poorly based on gender. I see women think this a lot, and I suspect that it's because they both bring up culture a lot more in an attempt to show they're open and understanding and so inadvertently make themselves look bad, and also because they don't see that men get treated just as badly for this mistake because men just don't make the opportunity to mention it as much.

I hope this helps with future interactions. I know from personal experience none of these ethnicities, with the exception of the Arab men, have ever been rude or cruel to me, or given me unwanted advances. I have, however, seen them be MASSIVE jerks to my American friends, both men and women, and it usually starts right about the time someone hears they're Pakistani/Turk/Iranian/Afghan/Indian and then promptly asks "so do you speak Arabic?" Or says "I love hummus!" Or forgets and then calls them Arab layer on. Or something to that effect.

Ok, end lecture. Sorry, I felt it might help y'all down the line.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chrissy

Any guy telling me that I am a "sexy" mermaid is grounds for blocking. There are so many other adjectives that could be used that don't send red flags up for me.

---

Yeah, sexy is pretty much a red flag. It makes the person's intentions pretty obvious from the get-go

Anahita, you ROCK!

Anyone have any experience with a Christopher perry? He's been messaging me a bit and idk mild creepy vibes. Looks like he has a tail though.... Hm maybe he is just being nice. Now I've flipped from too trusting to too suspicious!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Anahita

Yeah, sexy is pretty much a red flag. It makes the person's intentions pretty obvious from the get-go

---

Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked :p

Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol :lol:

Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually :thinks:

Heck, I would even say that PearlieMae is sexy because she DOES look amazing in her tail! :)
Truth to be told, I never thought and used the word "sexy" to express an opinion in a sexual way. Until I read this thread, it never crossed my mind.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Merman Arion

Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked :p

Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol :lol:

Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually :thinks:

---

Yeah you kindof do get a free pass lol. But it also has to do with people popping up out if nowhere and saying "you're a sexy mermaid!" As the first thing they say to you. Which happens a l o t.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mermaid Wesley

Yeah you kindof do get a free pass lol. But it also has to do with people popping up out if nowhere and saying "you're a sexy mermaid!" As the first thing they say to you. Which happens a lot.

---

Now that I think about it, I had some guys telling me I was quite a sexy merman when the photos of my first shooting came out but I took it as a compliment, replied "thank you" and I moved on. They never persisted but perhaps I just got lucky.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Merman Arion

Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked :p

Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol :lol:

Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually :thinks:

---

See, it's all about the semantics of it. You and me talk often, and we had a few conversations before you called me sexy, so I didn't think "omg wtf".

If the first thing you had ever said to me was "hey, you look sexy" I probably would have wondered who dropped you on your head. ;)

I also think I'm a bit sexist, and I totally have a different standard that I uphold gay men to, because regardless of the language they're speaking, I do actually anticipate, if not expect, the word "sexy" to come up with some frequency. French, Farsi, English... I just expect "sexy" to be used by a gay man the same way I would anticipate other Persians expecting me to behave abhorantly spoiled because I live in LA or super duper awesome-sauce nice because I'm Zoroastrian.

Semantics... And previous acquaintanceship. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PearlieMae

Anahita, you ROCK!

---

Thanks Pearlie! :hug:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mermaid Wesley

Anyone have any experience with a Christopher perry? He's been messaging me a bit and idk mild creepy vibes. Looks like he has a tail though.... Hm maybe he is just being nice. Now I've flipped from too trusting to too suspicious!!

---

He frequently contacts mermaids and comments on their content, and has been around for years. We're talking pre Mer.Yuku, back in the days of Seatails.ning and earlier. He does have a tail himself (very early Mertailor model). It's possible he's just lonely and socially awkward.. but he stalked me for over a year, even after I told him I was married, not at all interested, tried to put down boundaries, and even blocked him on various sites. He seems sweet in public comments (although creepy), but myself and other mermaids found he was very creepy and made sexual comments in PMs.

Omg I should a put him on the list he asked every mermaid to be his girlfriend and even tried to offer to buy them tails if they'd date him.

I had those experiences too. Anyone else for Perry??

Socially awkward merman looking for a girlfriend and keeps persisting even after you put up boundaries?

I think he needs to be educated. Seems slow. On the other hand we should put him on the list.

:nocomment:

He's been educated for like 7 years he's not changing. If you wouldn't accept this behaviour from a guy on the street you shouldn't online either. It is harassment

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AniaR

I had those experiences too. Anyone else for Perry??

---

just saw this, Yes that name is very familiar. I cannot remember if he contacted me personally or if it was through our Mermaids of NC page. We had someone in that group last year and he as very inappropriate and I had to just delete him. I get alot of creepers due to bellydance stuff too and depending on which profile pictures I have up. There are a couple others, I wonder about, but not sure if they are in this forum....

okay I just checked back through my timeline for that FB group and yes it was Chris Perry. He was in our group back in July of last year and would post weird comments on our stuff and photos and wanting to get together...he not only creeped me out but some others, so I removed him from the group.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Anahita

I don't know if I'm reading it with some misinterpretation, but you guys do realize that there's a difference between Turks, Pakistanis, Arabs, and for good measure just to fully clarify, Afghans, Iranians and Indians, right? I kind of suspect maybe not being able to make that distinction may have led to a lot of misinterpretation in interactions with those people that maybe made the situation feel crazy, oppressive, etc.

I had kind of derailed the thread earlier because my possible mervert to add to the list ended up just being a regular run of the mill perv like the type I deal with regularly. I'm sorry about that, but my words of advice on the matter were meant to be used with some moderate education and knowledge to prevent victimization, not start a discussion on what seems to be a misperception that all middle-eastern men are bad Arabs....

Being able to make that cultural distinction usually saves everyone a LOT of problems. If you can't make that distinction, of course they're going to treat you poorly, because they're assuming you're ignorant and don't deserve to be treated better because, well, you can't treat them with enough respect to know that they're not Arab and have practically nothing in common with Arab culture, with the exception of possibly a religion. Which is 180 from someone thinking you need to be treated poorly based on gender. I see women think this a lot, and I suspect that it's because they both bring up culture a lot more in an attempt to show they're open and understanding and so inadvertently make themselves look bad, and also because they don't see that men get treated just as badly for this mistake because men just don't make the opportunity to mention it as much.

I hope this helps with future interactions. I know from personal experience none of these ethnicities, with the exception of the Arab men, have ever been rude or cruel to me, or given me unwanted advances. I have, however, seen them be MASSIVE jerks to my American friends, both men and women, and it usually starts right about the time someone hears they're Pakistani/Turk/Iranian/Afghan/Indian and then promptly asks "so do you speak Arabic?" Or says "I love hummus!" Or forgets and then calls them Arab layer on. Or something to that effect.

Ok, end lecture. Sorry, I felt it might help y'all down the line.

---

I totally see your point here. And no they were in fact Turkish. They established that fact with GREAT pride like the moment they met me for my interview. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Race and religion iis never a factor for me ever. Until, like my former employers did, it is made a factor and I am treated poorly as a result. However, every person is different. I try not to generalize and judge, but it does cause me to be cautious around others.

I really hope my post didnt come across as ignorant or offensive, as was NOT my intentions!

And lets get this train back on tracks! CHOO CHOO!!!! :D :D

Ok. So first off. I tried to do this very thing not to long back and was shot down. so I'm kinda miffed that it's ok for it now..why wasn't the list ok. back then? When I had mentioned this Gordon guy and Chris Perry. Could have saved about of mers trouble if dealing with them.

Yes. I've had dealings with Chris and Gordon. Both asking inappropriate stuff but since it's been at least a year or two more I dint revert specifics. Maybe MY original mervet thread is still up. I may have included the info there.

http://mernetwork.com/index/showthre...rts-collectors
Here's the original thread I started with others complaints. And as you can see it was shot down as a bad idea back then.

I decided to redo it with an actual template with qualifications as per original concerns that were voiced. No need to be miffed. I tweaked it so it would work and we've all been personally posting lists to fb pretty much since the Mer community started. Its not like your thread was deleted or people weren't warned about these guys. People have been warning about these guys forever. It doesn't have to be a big showdown about starting a thread neriene. People have been documenting this stuff for years and back on yuku and in yahoo groups. I just added structure to address people's concerns about the problems it can cause.

So instead how about a " hey I'm glad people have come around to this idea. Here's a thread I started a while back with info! "

People have reposted my ideas on new threads dozens of times. A polite post with a link back is all you need.

Rereading the thread I know I've addressed the points and concerns about misuse from back then. We've posted proof. Witnesses. And we've seen that some of these guys who were harmless ended up not being that way at all

I just had the experience of having my Page liked by all of the accounts of one of these people. He then liked a photo of a mer and a child that had been posted by the mother. The mother went to his Page to see who this stranger was. His profile was very unsavoury. She was very worried. I blocked him off everything but it is something I really don't want my fans associating me with!

This is probably just me but to be doubly sure they don't attempt to contact me, I contact their family members on their Facebook to warn them "are u aware your spouse is doing this? Can you tell him to stop? And then I block.

but I'm just evil :| I have no problem humiliating them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren

This is probably just me but to be doubly sure they don't attempt to contact me, I contact their family members on their Facebook to warn them "are u aware your spouse is doing this? Can you tell him to stop? And then I block.

but I'm just evil :| I have no problem humiliating them.

---

You know the usual saying, "Karma is a bitch". They have to deal with the consequences.

Just don't mess with mermaids. Plain and simple.

I had a stalker and contacted all of his family. He was local. NO ONE EVEN READ MY MESSAGES. I personally dont find it works.

There has to be a way to actually contact someone at FB ugh. I tried to report his profile (Gordon) but it just prompts you to block him. I reported his sexual timeline and FB didn't care. But you know.. watch out for Hannah Fraser's boobs -_-

get his mother's number. i recently had an ex friend stalk my other friend after they broke up and i told him to back the fuck off because he was very persistent and didn't understand that he's not wanted. we threatened to call the cops and put a restraining order on him and he cried "bully" on us when HE'S the one doing the stalking. so we called his mother and it shut him up. sometimes messages online can be missed so you have to actually make the effort to call them and tell them you mean business instead of hiding behind the monitor, yknow? :|geez. makes it harder on us.

Let me re state this, the use of "sexy" sends red flags up for me (personally) when I see someone out of the blue on my FB telling me that. That kind of puts my senses up!

^ same with me, you're not the only one.

yup. if you wouldnt feel comfortable with someone doing that to you in person, a random stranger, then it isnt appropriate on fb either

Decided to block him and some of the others whose messages made me uncomfortable. After talking to my sisters and parents, and hearing everyone's thoughts here, I agree that it's just not worth dealing with harassment.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts on the matter! :)