fyi: Ingesting soap is extremely laxative.Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairie Mermaid Jamie
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fyi: Ingesting soap is extremely laxative.Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairie Mermaid Jamie
I've lived with the whole roommate issue before. I.e. labeling food, why are you eating my food... etc. But I would not get myself into a prank war if I were you. Honestly, if you give your roomies diarhea, who is going to clean the bathroom? are they goingto understand that they deserve it because they steal your food or will they just think you are a meanie and seek revenge. punishment only works as a corrective if they know they are being punished and why. Otherwise it just escalates the situation.Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlieMae
my recommendation would be a minifridge in your room with a padlock. If they won't respect your food, then don't put food where they can get it anymore.
Or just get a crate that you can put a pad lock on that fits in the fridge you have... Deal with it like an adult. Also, You can put together an invoice of the food, and bill them weekly.
You guys are being way too sensible and grown up.
And you're right.
http://replygif.net/i/101.gif
I have a compromise between reasonable and evil.....
Laxative idea but make sure to walk in as they get half way through or just finish eating and go 'oh you didn't eat my food did you? I put laxatives in it to find out who kept stealing all my food... I really hope you didn't cause I crushed a whole pack in.... Going to have to keep doing that til whoever it is learns their lesson... If you know who it is maybe you could warn them? Thaaanks!' and walk back out the door with a smile :D
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I know... I remember dealing with roommate issues in college- I think most people had roommate issues in college. I think it is part of the maturation process. Yes, there was one roommate issue, where we just knew from the very beginning that the arranged housing was going to be bad news, and I think within 3 weeks we had a game plan in place to get us separated. Again though, it was a communicated joint effort and we cooperated and got our housing reassigned. There was no animosity or bitchiness, just a very clear understanding that this was not going to work.
Keep talking through it, and work on meeting others who enjoy cooking as well- creating a communal cooking group can be a lot of fun! This would allow you to make it a travelling social group that excludes your roommates, and makes it clear that this is not their food.
GOOD LUCK!
How about Fake Mold Sandwich Bags? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid Momo
http://therockingcomedyshow.com/imag...-lunch-bag.jpg
Funny story about dish soap!Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlieMae
When I was just a baby, my mom and aunt were hanging out and really wanted some french fries. My mom kept a deep fryer on the counter so she went and turned it on, and fried up some yumminess. She didn't realize that the oil had a greenish tinge, and it turns out that my older brother (who was only 5 at the time) had emptied out the entire bottle of Palmolive dish soap into the fryer earlier that day. She and my aunt dug into the fries only to be surprised by a horribly soapy taste.
To this day, she can't buy Palmolive. She only uses Dawn soap. If you make her sniff Palmolive she literally GAGS and it's been 25+ years since this happened.
Omg I'm gagging just thinking about it lol hey momo do that to your roomie XD
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The way our dorm is set up, we all share the same bed room (we have one living room, and a kitchen and one bedroom we all share with an attached bathroom)
I mean it could be worse, last year there was this girl who's roommate ALWAYS had guys over for bootycalls at all hours of the day (including finals week) without telling her so I'd go to the bathroom at like 10pm and she'd be sitting in the hallway outside the room door, then I'd go again at 3am and she'd still be there! I felt so bad for her
So i kept strong against my family in not wanting to sing at the party on Saturday.
My brother made the videoclip with the photos of my grandmother in it, he said he would like to make that for me (no idea why he is so friendly all of a sudden) and he showed the result to me yesterday. It looks great.
On Friday my hubby and I will bake 140 cupcakes for the party and during the party we volunteered to poor drinks for guests.
So you'd think all is well....but it's not.
My parents are being weird about the house building situation and extremely stubborn.
Last week my father said he is not willing to pay for the house, or at least not the price the building company gave us, even though it is by far in the budget my mom had set for it.
I talked with my mom and explained that we will pay for things ourselves as well and are putting money aside. Besides that we will be paying money to them every month, and not a tiny amount but as much as we can spare and i told her the minimum we will pay every month, she was impressed and said that we did not have to pay that much back every month but i told her we wanted to.
I was hoping this would put their mind at ease more, to know that we are not mooching of of them and are paying back from day 1.
The way my parents want it now is that we will have to move in with them for a month or even longer before the house can be even build!
I have no idea why they are so stubborn and doing this.
Then there is something else that is bothering me....last night my brother called me to show me the video and he talked about the party. He asked me if i knew who was performing and what was going to happen, and the truth is i barely know anything since my parents are preparing the party with my brother only and are leaving me out of everything.
He told me that he is going to sing a lot of song as well....here is the thing....my brother can't sing!
For some reason he feels that he can sing and no one dares to tell him otherwise.
He keeps saying people compliment him and his wife for their singing but people have told me and my parents that they don't like it and that they should stick to playing their instruments and not sing anymore.
Now my brother said that my parents told him that he sang very good so they were happy he would be singing a lot of songs.
Today i asked my parents if they actually said that to him, because even my parents told my brother he is not a good singer and that if he really wants to sing he really needs to start taking singing lessons.
Today they told me they actually think he sang good!
My dad said:" You know...we HAVE a good singer in our family...but well...." and then he gave me a look " you refuse to sing...so he has to."
And i replied with:' That is correct, i will not be singing."
I hate the mind f*cks, the judging tone in my parents voices, the belittleling....
I just can't believe it! I am sure he is getting better at singing in tune, but singing in tune and actually being able to sing are 2 COMPLETELY different things.
Just because someone can sing in tune/key does not mean it sounds good or that they can sing well.
I am just so pissed..... it seems that all my life my brother wants to take the spotlight from everyone.
If i acutally have something to share with people he will make sure to talk over it quickly and put the attention on him again.
I am a reiki/energy healer and my brother has NO connection to this sort of work/field AT ALL.
This one summer a friend of ours whom we have known for years and years and so happens to have become a well known actor in his country, talked to me about reiki. His wife works with reiki and he was learning a lot about it, so him and I had a connection there and a great talk about it.
All of a sudden my brother said he wants to learn reiki.
He asked me to give him the dvd i had so he could become a reiki master....LOL....i was like....hell no.....i will not simply give you a dvd. You do not learn it from a dvd, it is something that is already inside of you and you need to learn it from a proper teacher and put the work and effort into it.
So i refused it. He dropped the whole thing after that.
He has done this with many things....where he saw i was getting a slight bit of attention with something and he would jump right in trying to copy me, steal my ideas etc.
Now he is focused on singing and things he will make it.
He even said that one of the guys who will be performing at the party had said he would only perform if my brother would perform with him, my brother claims the guy said :" Since you are such a famous guitarist i would love to perform with you."
I mean.... :lol: my brother is NOT a famous guitarist...i have no idea what he or my parents are telling people but he is not.
He travels the world with his wife to perform concerts together but guess what.....most of them he plays at for free, he has to pay his own travel expenses as well.
When he tours an entire summer, the bit of money he makes goes towards the travelling he does and most of what he does is at small cafe's, venues etc.
I am getting really fed up with this facade that my family is putting up for the world, pretending to be something they are not.
My hubby said i should not let this stuff bother me and not care.
But i told him i do care, it is like everytime i slightly succes of have a little but of succes in some way, be it singing or something else, my brother has to take it away from me.
Is it that weird or stupid that at some point i would like to get a little bit of recognition for what i do/have done? And not constantly be pushed aside like i mean nothing?
I do not want to be in the spotlight all the time like my brother, don't get me wrong, but being pushed aside constantly by your own family hurts....it really does....
Now another thing that happened.
I had a long talk with my hubby since there has been tension between him and I lately...not really weird considering all the stress we have been and are under at the moment.
But his biggest issue is that i am not affectionate towards him.
I can only say that he is right...i am not affectionate at all.
My hubby can come up to me during the day and wantig a hug and i don't like that, or he will want a kiss and i wont give him one.
I know why i am like that.
Affection equals pain to me.
So much has happened in my life, i have been hurt so many times by my family, people i trusted, and by men that i have completly shut down from any kind of affection and don't want it anymore.
My first boyfriend ever abused me emotionally and fysically, after that i never was the same again.
The few men i dated or was in a short relationship with after (which were not many) all treated me badly too.
About 5 years ago i was treated like nothing again and i told my self....this is enough...i am done...
About 2 months later i bought a dog, my everything <3, and decided to live alone since it was much more calm and relaxed for.
About 6 months later i met my hubby and i decided to do some soul searching...i read Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life and began to recognize the patterns i had been in all those years and made changes accordingly.
But i never made the change of openening myself up again.
After my very first boyfriend i shut down and it only got worse and worse after that.
How on earth am i supposed to even begin to open up again?
Does anyone know of a book i could read? Or any other recommendations?
To top of this wonderfull story...ugh....my ipod crashed on Sunday and i lost ALL my music. I put the music on the ipod in a time where i did not know how to back up stuff yet (years and years ago) so no i have to get ALL my music back o my laptop and then on my ipod.... I guess it is one of those weeks......oooh...almost forgot....i may be in early menopause since i sleep horribly and get burning hot at times, during the day and night without any reasoning and sweat like crazy.
It may be the stress but i am not sure.... ugh......
After all that happened today with my parents and the stress with my hubby....i could not help but buy chocolate to comfort myself.
Adalira, your family is toxic.
Your parents are playing you, mom acts like the good guy/reasonable one while your dad acts like the angry enforcer. Living with them for a month before they're willing to start building? Control tactic, it won't be just a month because then you'll have nowhere to live while the build is happening (I don't know what the rules etc are where you are but here in San Francisco even a simple addition on a house can take 6 months or more) and you'll be expected to follow their rules and lay down like the doormat they want you to be.
Your brother trying to take everything you're good at is fairly standard in the Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic, the Scapegoat cannot have anything that they excel at. Only the Golden Child is allowed. These are the roles your parents insist that you both fit into. By brushing aside anything you do they are pushing the dynamic, they wan't you to chase them for affection and recognition. They get a sick reward from you chasing them.
Honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is to distance yourself from them (I've noticed that you see them an awful lot. I have a good relationship with my parents and I don't see them nearly as often) because the level of enmeshment that they require will drive you crazy
Get away from your idiot family as fast as possible. I'd rather like in a cardboard box than put up with that kind of manipulation. Your brother is an asshole.
Get couples counseling if you want to stay with your husband. If not, get a divorce. Move. Get your own life - or lives (with your husband). Buying a book isn't going to do you any good.
Menopause is a bitch, and stress can make symptoms worse. Extract yourself from the toxic waste dump that is your mess of a family!
Forget the ipod for now, you have bigger issues to deal with.
Like PhaylennMurúch said, Adalira, your family is toxic. All of this crap that they're pulling seems to me to be a big stunt to control you, and I seriously commend you for not bending to their whims. I would avoid moving in with your parents if at all possible, and not let their head games get to you. Something my dad has taught me over the years is that you can't change the character of another - as hard as it may be, I'd recommend taking a deep breath (or maybe lots of deep breaths!) and a step back from them and their drama - just let it roll off of you without affecting you. Your brother wants to sing, even though you don't think he's good at it? Fine, let him succeed or fail as he will - he's an adult, he'll make his own choices and suffer the consequences. Your parents are playing headgames with you? Call them out on it and refuse to go along with it, until they start treating you like the mature adult you are (though maybe this will have an affect on your house situation). Try to find and surround yourself with people who love and respect you for you, and let them be your new family.
As for your difficulties with showing affection to your husband, it sounds like you might want to start seeing a therapist to talk through what you've been through in the past. Books are all well and good, but a trained professional will be able to tailor his or her services to most benefit you - and don't be afraid to shop around for someone you really click with. I've seen therapists before and they really are so helpful. Good luck, and stay strong!
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Unrelated to all yall here. Wanna have a quick sook. Apparently my body is a woss and can't handle it's pain killers. I had a toothache and got prescribed some antibiotics for the infection and strong painkillers for the pain. Took the first dost last night, woke up middle of the night with the most sever pain I had ever experienced. My mum drove me to the hospital and I actually threw up so hard that I got all these little red dots all over my face (looked kind of like red freckles). Apparently my body just can't handle powerful pain killers (I suppose that's what happens when you try and not take panadol at all unless you really need it). So yeah, that was a fun way to spend midnight :)
Ouch! I hope you feel better, soon! I get little red dots all over my eyelids, when I throw up.
I just had the most shitty day imaginable. I got about five hours of sleep last night and have been dead tired all day. I had a meeting which ended with the one person that I NEED to understand certain things basically saying they weren't important and I had work and I screwed up a lot and I still have a TON of math homework and I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I have no one to talk to and I'm sick to my stomach. I am not suicidal (thankfully, right?) but I just don't want to be where I'm at anymore. If it's going to be a 'screw you' type situation then I need out. I just can't take it anymore.
Amphitrite, sweetheart, we're all here for you to talk to, and if you want to PM me go for it. The most important thing is for you to get enough sleep - so let your math homework go (maybe your teacher will give you an extension, but if he/she doesn't, missing one or two assignments isn't going to be the end of the world, I promise you) and please get a good night's sleep first and foremost.
Why does this one person need to understand these certain things? Is anyone going to lose life or limb if he/she doesn't get it? More importantly, are YOU quite certain that you haven't screwed up a lot? Because if you know that you've done the best you can, then this other person is just mistaken and you should try not to let that upset you. I know you'll find a way to let them know they're wrong about x/y/z thing in a mature, respectful manner.
Again - take a deep breath. If you need to cry to let some of the stress go, do that. (Taking a hot shower helps me when I'm feeling stressed or upset, especially right before bed, I find. I like to imagine all the negative thoughts/feelings just washing off me and running down the drain.) Then go to bed and deal with it in the morning. You'll be alright!
(Edit: words)
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My mom isn't home and my dad just goes off on me when he sees that I'm doing homework and not studying. Then when I start to study he starts yelling at me again for not doing homework. He is refusing to take me to work tomorrow morning unless i stay up all night studying and get my homework done. He telling me that I'm lazy and that I'm going to flunk out of college and that he going to take away all my possessions if I don't get an A on my test. When he starts being mean and yelling at me I can't help but to start to sob and then he yells at me even more telling me that I'm a baby and it makes me start sobbing even more.
I just really want to start my new job and save up enough to move out of my parents house, but that's never going to happen because I'm never going to be able to make enough money to support myself through school and pay bills even if I have a roommate or two. I really hate what he does to me.
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Kelly, it sounds like you need to sit your Dad down with an impartial party and explain to him that yelling at ANYONE doesn't make them study more efficiently or finish homework faster, it does the opposite. If he's behaving this way because he's scared you're not taking school seriously, then pointing out to him you are serious about school but his behavior is hurtful and confusing and isn't going to procure the 'result' that he wants. That's not how you work, and it isn't how most living things work. Screaming at a cat to love you isn't going to make it love you, it's going to make it scared and possibly aggressive towards you.
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