B!TC# IT OUT!

What do you do when you've taken all the advice you could on how to convince a pool to let you swim in your tail, when your ready to do ANYTHING (liability insurance, liability release waiver, swim test, rent out the pool privately, swim only during specific times, only in the lap lanes, and the director just flat out says no.
Says it's not necessary to swim, so no. Not safety is an issue (understandably). It's just not necessary to swim, so no I won't see you do a swim test, no you can't swim in your tail here. I wasn't even given a fucking chance.
To top it all off I had to HUNT her down in her office because she always conveniently forgot to call me back.
I'm thinking of fighting this, of going over her head but I honestly don't know what to do.

@ Sherielle...i'm so sorry! I don't even know what to say else then i'm so sorry....... :hug:

@ Saren, Could you maybe offer the pool to do a sort of "meet and greet" at the pool one day for kids as a thank you for them letting you swim there? Or to do a kids party or performance there?
That is what i did with the pool here. I was only allowed to swim on Friday mornings there which was fine by me as long as i was allowed to swim and since there pool is AMAZING! It's like swimming in the jungle under star light!
Anyway, they started getting great responses to it so they gave me discount coupons to come swim there and i offered them a meet and greet fr their guests (it's a hotel/pool/indoor amusement park/all you can eat/ lots more lol) they spread the word to their guests that at a Frriday morning they could come meet a real mermaid and they would take photos for them and such.
It was a fun morning and great experience for me as a beginning mermaid.
Your pool could do the same, advertise this special meet and greet for their guests which would be good exposure for the pool and great experience for you. A win win situation if you ask me :-)

Last night we went to the vet and we were there for a while.
There was more going on with my dog then i had thought and hoped.
Whenever you come in there with your pet your have to weigh him on the big scale and it turned out he had lost 4 to 5 kilo in weight (8 to 10 pounds).
He normally weighs around 40 kilo which i think is 88 pounds or so, which is a perfect weight for him.
His urine was fine, which was sort of surprising to me, but he did have a bit of blood in his urine which is most likely a prostate problem which we will have to deal with later (we talked about surgery and what not)
The vet said that his liver wasn't working properly and something was wrong with the liver.
He then said he wanted to take his temperature just in case.......my dog was not happy with this at all...my mom and I held him since he growled so badly showing his teeth and then it happened....for the first time ever (and my dog is 5 years and some months) he bit me :-(
He did not do it to hurt me nor did he bite through the skin but it did hurt. I had to yank my hand out of his teeth and mouth.
No blood luckily but my hand is bruised, luckily it's my left hand which i don't use as much.
When the vet was done it turned out he had a high fever which he got a shot for immediately.
He also had blood in his poop so he has a bacterial infection in his bowel.
He can't eat anything until tomorrow and then i can only give his white cooked rice, Friday he can get a little bit of boiled chicked with it and i have to slowly start his diet from there again and gaining back his weight.
The anti biotics he will have to take for 5 days starting tonight but if he shows signs of getting weak i have to call the vet again and immediately come back.
The anti diarrea pills start tonight as well.
I will have to keep a close eye on him the next days.
I know he is a very strong dog but i feel so bad for him.
He has not eaten since yesterday 2 pm and he did not even eat a meal then, he only got some slices of saucage.
He is super hungry and follows me everywhere begging me for some food.
it's hard to have to "torture" your pet like this, i just need to stay strong and not accidentally slip him a snack :eek::sad eyes:

@Adalira
The pool doesn't let me swim there with my tail, it's just with my fins, which is a normal thing to allow anyway. Offering them something like that won't sway them, wether or not they have patrons it will remain open because the military men and women need it for training. While I foresee maybe doing a party poolside, I would hope not. I would think its a bummer to have a mermaid right by the pool but she's dry and can't swim in the nice cool water.

Is there any other pool you could go to, to swim?
Like the pool at a hotel, a pool at a school, even a pool at rich people's house? Anything else?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Adalira

Is there any other pool you could go to, to swim?
Like the pool at a hotel, a pool at a school, even a pool at rich people's house? Anything else?

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There are pools in other bases that I will be meeting with soon, hopefully maybe they will give me a chance to explain.

But otherwise not really, most hotels in Japan don't seem to have swimming pools (also if they did they'd only be for patrons), same thing with school pools. Most homes also don't have pools, I also don't know any rich people (interesting choices btw). And I learned public pools in Japan are almost strictly lap swimming, super strict. Plus I don't speak Japanese so I makes things harder. But thank you for your suggestions. I'm going to keep trying.

In Japan, there is a really deep pool to swim in. I don't know what its called, the person is a freediving lady and she always has a group with her. Some videos show learners doing freediving dolphin kick, and sometimes they just race around the deep pool playing around.

Here is her channel, maybe you can contact her through youtube?
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKo...uW412bCfhd99vQ

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Jaffa

In Japan, there is a really deep pool to swim in. I don't know what its called, the person is a freediving lady and she always has a group with her. Some videos show learners doing freediving dolphin kick, and sometimes they just race around the deep pool playing around.

Here is her channel, maybe you can contact her through youtube?
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKo...uW412bCfhd99vQ

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There's many pools like that, but you can only swim there if your part of a diving or freediving club or school. I'm trying to join one but I don't understand Japanese so many schools and clubs won't have me.

She is actually a freediving champion. I wouldn't be able to communicate with her (my Japanese is introductory at best).

My problem is being allowed to swim in my fabric tail, not swimming in my monofin alone. It's strange they're totally fine with monofin swimming, but if I put on a fabric tail it's suddenly a problem. Thanks though Jaffa. I'll follow the channel. Who knows, maybe I'll end up joining her school.

If you introduce her to tail swimming, she might actually don one, and the pools may change their minds.

In one of her videos, is a blonde lady person swimming in a merfin. So there's still some hope.

After this one Disney trip we can't go on any more trips to the states because the Canadian dollar went down again... And I am genuinely sad and angry because if this keeps up it may mean that i can't go to mermania next year or the syrenstudios meetup this year ... Sigh..

My mom made me an appointment for a haircut, I love my hair and I'm growing it out, and she's bitching at me because "I asked for a haircut" but I never did. She tells me i look ugly, I'm growing my hair out, what do you expect? On top of this she went behind my back and messaged project mermaids that I have short hair that won't look good underwater and is now pressuring me into getting extensions. I like my hair the way it is, the color is the only thing that needs fixing. She's being a total bitch.

It will look nice underwater! I've been growing my hair out and I feel the only time it looks nice is underwater. There's a mermaid I follow on IG who has a blonde pixie cut and I think she looks gorgeous that way! I feel you on the whole mom thing. I don't even live with mine and she's being insufferable right now. If anything just skip the appt. Or go for a light trim to get any dead ends out the way.

Light trims are good. I buzzed my hair when my Gram was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer, the February of my Freshman year of HS. I'm a senior now, and I've only had two trims since, but both were great experiences.

On another note. My Gram has brca 1, which means there's a 50% chance my mother does. If she has it, there's a 50% chance I do.

So, there is basically a 25% chance that I have a gene that basically makes breast and ovarian cancer almost inevitable.

Yay. *headdesk*

I think I'm too active on this thread:

So, I am super forgetful and because of that I tend to leave stuff places. For whatever reason I can recall books with immense clarity and memorized the top ten endangered species list by both common and scientific name last night.

So I guess I'm one of those academics types who remembers scenes from books and individually important moments of my life in beautiful detail along with various facts and statistics. But when it comes to little things I need to do, I'm completely scattered.

I'm also the sort of artsy-writer type who keeps things in piles on the floor. They look like hell, but there is a system.

Now. My mother likes to pretend that she is extremely Spartan, but really, she's as messy as I am. Her crap's just spread across the house as opposed to condensed in a room, so it looks better. That, and when she is legitimately Spartan in belongings, she keeps a clean house. But once she has stuff, she just can't function.

Anyway. A few years ago, I lost a checkbook, and my mom and I just didn't have the time to remedy the situation. She then forgot about it.

We needed a voided check last night and the issue that I didn't have it came up.

She went into my room and blew my piles to shreds, throwing my stuff everywhere and threatening to break a guitar against the wall. Apparently, my room will be gutted by the time I get home from school today.

And now I'm sitting with a bunch of white boys who don't get that this sort of arbitrary argument is a mainstay of Latina mothers and daughters in certain communities. (I.e. poor areas of Chicago where my mother was born out of wedlock in the fifties).

So. Blah.

It is so hard to think of where to begin with all that is going on that is causing me anger and stress. Some of the stress is 'good' and will turn into good things later, and I know I will have more time later, but for right now... I feel like I am stuck in a jar.

I suppose the first place to start is that I went back to school last year. I have a Master's in Art Therapy Counseling, but I have discovered after three years in the paid world (and 2 years of internship) that it just does not make me happy. It took a lot to stand up and realize that I was not okay working in the environment that I am (more on that later) and that I was not happy and I wanted to do something that allowed me to be more creative, even within set parameters, and to learn new skills, so I went back to school to get my degree in Graphic Design. I am hopeful, as my professors see positive work in my skills and appreciate my willingness to learn and to admit when I am having a hard time and to ask for help. What makes this hard is that I still work during this time. I work a full 40 hours a week and then I have to take 12 credits a term (and that is just the design program, that does not include the underclasses [math, English, etc] that I would have to take if my other degrees did not trump them.) This gives me little time for sleep or other things. I keep my sanity by multitasking: While I am working on design work I sit on Facebook and take short two minute breaks, I build perler/hama bead things or crochet while I work, or I have videos playing in the background that I can laugh at, such as Markiplier. These little things can help, but they don't take away the stress. This is the stress that will pay off later and I just have to keep going.

My work environment has gotten increasingly hostile and that makes it harder for me to keep working and doing what I do. Currently, I am a peer support specialist at a 16-bed locked facility for persons with mental illness. We are sub-acute and, in general, work with persons who are suicidal and/or are in the process of getting a medication adjustment and were not safe enough to be out on the streets again. Not to mention, a lot of people we take in are also coming off of heavy drugs they use to self-medicate (sad when meth is cheaper than your anti-psychotics, huh?) We have taken on cases as of late that are more acute than sub-acute and require more assistance and one-on-one time than we can offer with our low staffing (roughly 5 people [including a nurse] to every 16 residents.) The stress can be insurmountable at times; especially when we have persons who are actively searching for ways to kill themselves on our unit and will make -everything- a weapon. What helps is supportive and awesome teammates, but what doesn't help is the lack of support I've had as of recent.

A typical night for me will have five staff members: Team Lead, three Peer Supports/Recovery Specialists, and a nurse. On my team, we have a person (that I will call Glenn) who makes constant errors that could jeopardize the safety and recovery for the people at our facility. Glenn has missed contraband items that people have sneaked into the facility (lighters, blades, cigarettes, etc) and has been found using the company computer to look at images that are NSFW (nudes, etc.) My other coworker (who I will call Jack) and I have talked to our supervisor and team lead about it. We were forced into a big uncomfortable meeting about it with Glenn, Jack, the teamlead, myself, and the clinical director. For an hour I was very uncomfortable and the meeting was utter nonsense. Details aside, it felt it was a show for HR rather than to fix anything.

Fast forward to last Wednesday night. Early in the shift, I saw a resident in a wheelchair who was able-bodied and using it as a toy; which is dangerous (poppin' wheelies, trying to be silly, etc.) When I inquired about their use of it to the team lead (a sub team lead, not my usual one), as it had been previously discussed with that resident that they were not allowed to use it since they did not need it, I was informed by the team lead that residents are "Allowed to be annoying." I expressed that my concern was not with annoyance, but holding the resident accountable to the boundaries that had been set up and for safety purposes. I felt that my core reason for bringing this up was not validated. Eventually, the resident got out of the chair and additional staff folded it and put it away to keep the resident from playing further in the chair.

Later, the same resident asked all the staff members if there was any room fresheners (Febreze) that they could use so that their room smelled better. They were told by two staff members (the nurse and myself) that we did not have any. Glenn told them this as well, but then stated he was going to see what he could do to help out. Glenn went and got the disinfectant spray from the exam room and handed it over to the resident. As he was handing it to them, I informed Glenn that that wasn't an air freshener spray, to which he replied with an "I know." When I tried to express my concern about handing a toxic spray out to the residents to use as an air freshener, his tone because more gruff and all he repeated was, "I know" until the third time and he said, "I know. I am -just- trying to be accommodating." I gave in then and I took a different route where I instead informed the nurse as to what had happened and said that the resident and their roommate may appear sick later and if they did, I wanted her to know the chemical that was given out so that way if poison control needed to be called that she had the right information for the situation.

After I left work, I felt terrible. I do not like confrontation and speaking up is not in my comfort zone. Based on the meeting we attended, I was trying to speak up and make a better effort at that, but I felt that night only reinforced the whys as to why I don't speak up and why I keep my head down and just work. I did not feel safe taking a break and leaving Glenn on the unit alone with the team lead away in her office (Jack's wife was ill and he had to leave early), and the nurse having to work with medications and help the residents out in that manner. I was still upset when I got home and my usual after-work self care did nothing to assist in my mood.

I was diagnosed with depression over 15 years ago. This event exacerbated it. The following morning, I woke with my depression in a terrible state. I did not want to get out of bed and I had to fight to get to school. I ended up skipping my last two classes to go home because I was in a poor state of mind with persistent SI and I had almost cried multiple times on campus. On that morning, I expressed that I did not want to come to work, not because I was concerned about working with Glenn since I knew it was his day off, but that my mood was still low and I was not sure how well I would do my job. I came to work because 1) There was not enough time to call out respectfully, 2) I need my PDL for more important things, and 3) Fake it til you make it, right?

This was the third time I have felt under some form of attack by Glenn (the first time being when he cornered me in the kitchen, prevented me from escaping to give me talking-to about being a good teammate), and though him telling me "fuck you" in front of other staff because he had to do his job and I refused to do it for him did not bother me as much as it bothered everyone else that was there, I am counting that as well just to keep things together. My regular team lead and Jack have encouraged me to file paperwork against him for these acts, but I don't know what good filing paperwork on it would be and I don't want to make any more waves than are already rocking the ship. I just want to keep my head down and work without anymore problems.

Coupled with all that is this guilt I have about lacking in the mermaid community. I have not posted or contributed anything to here in a long while. I lurk, but I rarely leave any feedback or help people like I used to. I am exhausted, but I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt for that. I try to be supportive where I can, usually offering mere "likes" on Facebook or on Instagram to the mermaids I follow to keep them going forward with their awesome lives. Meanwhile, I feel stuck. I would love to cultivate a deeper mermaid life, to do more things as a mermaid. I would not mind the hard work and the devotion that it would take to get there. I am involved with a local group of mermaids, Una's Fantasea Traveling Cove, but I cannot make meeting times or go to all the events they do because of my work and school schedule. So, I feel guilty about that as well. I feel guilty and miserable for not being able to help or progress.

In addition to the guilt around that, there is anger at myself for who I am. I've been told by my mermaid friends and mermaids I look up to that I am an inspiration for other mermaids. That my old videos where I was tipping the scales at over 325 pounds and telling the world to screw itself and still doing what I wanted to do has inspired merfolk of all sizes to do the same: tell the world to shut up and become a mermaid. To do what they love. That is not the part that makes me angry. The part that angers me is that I'm an inspiration because (no sugar coating it) I'm fat. I don't want to be known for inspiration because I am 'that fat mermaid.' It didn't bother me much before, but now it's like all I feel I'm known for. I've lost about 120 pounds and I've managed to keep that off, but I am still sitting at over 200 and that is not sitting well with me. As you can imagine from the other things going on in my life, there is no time for proper exercise. The best I can do is walking, and I aim for at least 2 miles a day, but I need to more and I need to tone to get the skin that is hanging to firm up. I want to do more, but I can only function so much on 5 hours of sleep a night. Again, stuck.

TL;DR: Work sucks, Life sucks, Depression sucks, I wish I had more mermaid time.

I don't see you as fat. To me, you shine brightly amongst the bland world where everybody is like everybody else. Sure you are a plus size mer, but I never use your inspiration as "that fat chick is a mermaid deal". Mers come in all shapes and colors. Just like I'm old, tubby and ugly.

I've never considered myself beautiful. Plain Janes look nicer than me. Sure I'm dorky looking, hunched back, nasally voice etc. But I've come to accept that its what counts on the inside, than what's on the outside. Inside, I'm a beautiful mermaid, even if I just swim for fun. If people cannot accept that, then they don't belong in your world.

As for your workplace, it sounds like those people are in the wrong type of jobs. To not care if patients bring in contraband and then not giving a hoot if someone is potentially endangering themselves. It sounds like they are just there for the money. If you can, apply for a job elsewhere? Or does it have to do with your studies that you have to work at that place?

Oh Orca. Sending hugs your way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Jaffa

As for your workplace, it sounds like those people are in the wrong type of jobs. To not care if patients bring in contraband and then not giving a hoot if someone is potentially endangering themselves. It sounds like they are just there for the money. If you can, apply for a job elsewhere? Or does it have to do with your studies that you have to work at that place?

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I'm pretty much stuck here at the moment. They will work around my school schedule, I have benefits, and I need the money to pay back my school loans. I hope to get out and into a design job once I graduate in June.

Minor bitch:
I went to the craft store to buy some acrylic paint primer. It's all locked up in a cage, so ok, I find some gal shelving stuff and ask her to unlock it for me. Gal shakes her head and says, "Oh nooo, no I don't have a key for THAT. You need to go ring the bell."
I return to the cage and see there's a bell you can push. Push bell. Wait. Wait a bit more, push bell again. Wait. Getting annoyed.
Little old lady and some burly dude who looks ridiculous in his red smock finally come. Little old lady asks, "You need something from in there?"
Me: yes
Her: Have you already picked out what you want?
Me: yes, I had some time to think about it while I was waiting for someone to come unlock it. (snark purposely interjected)
Burly dude seems to only be there because this transaction requires a witness?? Like some kinda double key nuclear missile launch bullshit.
They're both eyeballing me like I asked to borrow their car.
Lady asks for my ID. Ummm...ok. I show her. She asks me my birth date. It's ON the freaking license lady! Good job, I'm actually a 17 year old girl who looks 39 and in order to deal with the pain of that, I paid $100 for a fake ID so I could come to Michaels and buy paint illegally to huff it to deal with the pain. You caught me. Then she actually freaking writes down my driver's license number on her little clipboard. She asks me, "what are you using it for?"
Seriously? You're selling a product, I'm buying it, who fucking cares? My inner smart ass says, "Ima huff half of it and when I'm good and fucked up Ima go tag the shit outta some boxcars" but in reality I say, "I going to paint some shells".
Burly dude speaks, "But that's primer, not paint"
Me: "I want to prime the shells first because they tend to absorb the paint a little." Am I REALLY having this conversation?? Am I engaged in some kind of craft debate??
They nod to each other. I guess my story checks out??
She unlocks the cage and asks what I want. I go to reach for it and burly dude moves. She nearly swats me and says, "I will get it." I'm not allowed to touch the paint? She gets my paint, and tells me, "this will be at the counter for you." I'm not to be trusted carrying the paint to the check out. I might be tempted to huff it and/or graffiti the craft store, ya never know. She leaves with her paint cage guard safely. Whew, they survived another day on the paint aisle, they can go home safe to their families tonight.
Check out: I am carded AGAIN for my paint. Checker writes down my license number AGAIN. Only after I have purchased the paint am I allowed to actually touch it.
Jesus effing Christ. I almost *want* to do something illegal with it now!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Calizaire

Minor bitch:
I went to the craft store to buy some acrylic paint primer. It's all locked up in a cage, so ok, I find some gal shelving stuff and ask her to unlock it for me. Gal shakes her head and says, "Oh nooo, no I don't have a key for THAT. You need to go ring the bell."
I return to the cage and see there's a bell you can push. Push bell. Wait. Wait a bit more, push bell again. Wait. Getting annoyed.
Little old lady and some burly dude who looks ridiculous in his red smock finally come. Little old lady asks, "You need something from in there?"
Me: yes
Her: Have you already picked out what you want?
Me: yes, I had some time to think about it while I was waiting for someone to come unlock it. (snark purposely interjected)
Burly dude seems to only be there because this transaction requires a witness?? Like some kinda double key nuclear missile launch bullshit.
They're both eyeballing me like I asked to borrow their car.
Lady asks for my ID. Ummm...ok. I show her. She asks me my birth date. It's ON the freaking license lady! Good job, I'm actually a 17 year old girl who looks 39 and in order to deal with the pain of that, I paid $100 for a fake ID so I could come to Michaels and buy paint illegally to huff it to deal with the pain. You caught me. Then she actually freaking writes down my driver's license number on her little clipboard. She asks me, "what are you using it for?"
Seriously? You're selling a product, I'm buying it, who fucking cares? My inner smart ass says, "Ima huff half of it and when I'm good and fucked up Ima go tag the shit outta some boxcars" but in reality I say, "I going to paint some shells".
Burly dude speaks, "But that's primer, not paint"
Me: "I want to prime the shells first because they tend to absorb the paint a little." Am I REALLY having this conversation?? Am I engaged in some kind of craft debate??
They nod to each other. I guess my story checks out??
She unlocks the cage and asks what I want. I go to reach for it and burly dude moves. She nearly swats me and says, "I will get it." I'm not allowed to touch the paint? She gets my paint, and tells me, "this will be at the counter for you." I'm not to be trusted carrying the paint to the check out. I might be tempted to huff it and/or graffiti the craft store, ya never know. She leaves with her paint cage guard safely. Whew, they survived another day on the paint aisle, they can go home safe to their families tonight.
Check out: I am carded AGAIN for my paint. Checker writes down my license number AGAIN. Only after I have purchased the paint am I allowed to actually touch it.
Jesus effing Christ. I almost *want* to do something illegal with it now!

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That is all company policy, you know to keep people from stealing the spray paint/primer and huffing it. They have had SUCH a problem that this was implemented to prevent people from getting the paint and huffing it in the bathroom

Was it the same lady at the checkouts?
If the company has a strict policy with the paint and a DL is required the girl at the cash might not have known it was already taken. Or she was trying to cover her own butt.
My boss always says "I'd rather have 20 copies I can shred at the end of the day; instead of no copies. People will start pointing fingers, someone will feel attacked."
Safety for the staff to be extra careful. But I'm sorry it made your shopping experience bad!
The floor staff personal you first saw should have gone to get someone to help you out. Or at least gone to grab someone who could.


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