B!TC# IT OUT!

Tomorrow I have to start my first round of medication for the surrogacy...via syringe. I've never injected myself but the ladies at the agency assure me it'll be super easy and I'll barely feel it. I'm just really nervous about doing it.

Also, it looks like none of my surrogacy compensation can go towards a mermaid tail to use for exercise during the pregnancy like I originally planned. I'm going to be carrying twins and that will make my body extra delicate on top of this being an IVF pregnancy. The co-owner of the agency told me a story about how another surrogate that carried twins lifted a laundry basket when she was twenty something weeks along and that alone caused her to be on complete bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. She actually warned me to not even pick up my own daughter and she's only ten months. Because of that I'm not going to bother asking if I can do it since I know what my answer will most likely be.

I'm trying to look at this like I'm just going to get a tail after the surrogacy instead of before/during. That way I can work off the massive baby weight I'll have.

Good luck!

Thank you.

Also, hang in there, Whisper! (I tried to edit that into my bitch post but my phone wasn't being cooperative)

Thanks, Sabrina. You, too, Hydra <3 it's really hard right now. I have another seven-hour shift tomorrow and I have to be up at 7:00 again. The good thing is, I have a beautiful white dress that makes me feel like a Renaissance fairy that I'm allowed to wear under my blue one! I asked my manager about it. It's kinda like a chemise, but it's got lace where the elbow hits and has 3/4 sleeves.

My stepfather's mother wants to take me swimming again, but she yelled at me last time when I asked if I could bring my tail (as I've been a mermaid since...2012?). I hate going to her place. All she talks about is how much she doesn't trust black people because they're going to hurt her (she uses "thug" a lot), and how she's afraid of my brother (who's black), and how they're all (pardon me) rapists and untrustworthy. She also brings up how much she hates this generation to me (this generation IS me), how everyone's so stupid nowadays (also me), how none of us are able to socialize and make friends (autistic me), and the whole Republican/Trump debate. She's in favor of building a wall, in case you wanted to know. Since, you know, we're suddenly back in ancient Chinese times.

I ramble. A lot. I get sad and it all comes out. No holding back. I need a journal again...

Wow. Racism alive and well. Whisper, I send hugs your way. Dealing with her must be so hard.

She swears up and down that she's not racist, but her behavior totally says otherwise.

*hugs*

It is really hard to deal with her, especially because she keeps talking trash about my family to me. She is really mean. I sound like a child, but when I posted on Facebook that I wanted to go to cosmetology school to become a makeup artist, she wrote a huge comment about how it's "time to grow up and start supporting yourself" which was a jab at me because I'm autistic and living at home. I'm just about to be 19. It's not like I've been there 10 years past due. She calls my sisters, and especially my mother, such horrible things...she says there's nothing wrong with us even though we've all been professionally diagnosed and mental illness runs in the family.

Side note, half my family is dead, and I never knew them. I've got half of me missing. I don't know who I am anymore...am I all the evils that my mother said I was, or all the things my father could never be? I just wish I got to know him before he died, you know?

A lot to drop on you all at once. Terribly sorry. I really do need that journal.

A journal might help. And more hugs, Whisper. Lots of them.

Always time for more hugs *squish*

I totally started a fundraiser for my neoprene tail project (here). Something, anything to distract me and get me out of this rut. It'll take me at least a week to come up with the design, then to actually get the supplies and put everything together...it should be enough to hold me over. I'm really trying not to think about how my life has been going, because then, I can't get out of it. That's why I've been interested in mermaids and faeries and magick for so long. It's my home away from home. My escape. My alter ego, where I can truly be myself and not be hated on for it.

Lots of love and hugs your way :hug:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Whisper

Just got back from work about a half hour ago.

It literally hurts to walk. It feels like my feet are burning on the soles. I was running through the house to make as little contact with the floor as possible. I almost cried.

I have 25 hours again next week. Fintastic! The MAX for a part-time employee is 25. Most others are getting 9, 13, maaaybe 20. Not me :)

This lady tried on 8 items, then brought them allllll back out to me with the clothes in a heap and the hangers on top. Gods.

I'll post all my sappy happy stuff in the niceties thread.


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Have you tried elevating your feet at night? Also stretch your feet in the morning before you get out of bed. http://mernetwork.com/index/attachme...id=38091&stc=1

Quote:

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Originally Posted by IllynReaver

Have you tried elevating your feet at night? Also stretch your feet in the morning before you get out of bed. http://mernetwork.com/index/attachme...id=38091&stc=1

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Thank you for the tip :) I'm pretty sure the problem was caused by my shoes that night. I wore 2-inch wedges for 7 hours, lol! I've since changed my footwear, and it should help for tomorrow.


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Ah, yeah wearing anything with a heal when you're standing for hours on end is never a good thing. Hope your feet feel better with different shoes.

Sorry I haven't been on in a while. I do want to b*tch about this though: I have a really big name client that promised to book me and another special mer *blushes* for a several-weekend long event. I sent the company my press kit, pricing guide, info sheet, and everything they needed to know about booking us. I have received very little contact from this client, but I have freed up my entire schedule during the time that they want to book me. I am also having them pay for my plane fare for the event every weekend. Still no word. No contracts, nothing. The event is at the end of September, and I don't even have a firm yes or no.

What I do have is the fact that they want me and another mer to consult and "train" their volunteers in mermaiding, with hopes that they will be performing in the tank with us. These volunteers have never even worn a monofin before, and this company wants me to train them to do tank gigs with no experience in mermaiding at all, and about an hour of one-on-one right before the event. This is complete BS.

In addition, I was originally told we would be working in a team of about 7 mermaids (all of whom have never had tail experience), and somehow it's now 13 mermaids. I later discovered that those numbers don't actually include myself and the other mer. The volunteers are getting constant feedback from the client, and the client is refusing to answer my messages, nonetheless read them.

It just feels like they used my idea to hire professional mermaids for this gig, and instead went with the, "let's go get some volunteers, make them provide their own tails, and call them professional mermaids" instead of hiring the actual professional.

I'm ready to give these guys an ultimatum: If I don't get a contract in my hands by August, I'm out of this gig, and I'm taking the other professional mer with me.

For a gig like that, they should give you an answer asap. An answer by August isn't asking too much.

I don't know why you would lie on your tail review. I mean, you can block your tail maker and the people who know the truth from seeing your posts, lol but that doesn't mean there isnt all your email communications and invoice records. I mean honestly in this day and age... everyone thinks they can exploit their tail makers! *rolls eyes*

I'm so depressed...my dad made me cry again and I haven't eaten since last night and I haven't seen my mom in weeks...sorry, I'm just so upset and I don't know what to do...I wish I could just sleep and sleep and never wake up [emoji26]


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The client also told me that they were still suffering from the Orlando tragedy, and that's why they have been ignoring my messages (but still regularly posting to FB and responding to the volunteers on a regular basis).

I'm not saying that one person's pain is greater than another's, but I actually knew one of the victims. This client doesn't live in Orlando (and has never lived in Orlando), nor did they have any connections to the tragedy. Their comment was downright insulting to me.

Oh damn Whisper. More hugs. Have some food and please be safe. ♡

And Celeste, I am sending you so much sympathy right now. That sounds awful. I'm glad you're making that ultimatum.

I'm 30 weeks along, I only have a handful of weeks to go before my son gets here.
AND. I'M. FREAKING. OUT.

I have been working on my tail, redoing everything ONCE AGAIN, because moving and life situations pretty well killed my tail the first time I finished it.

Now I am not even finished with the front of the tail-laying scales down- I've moved it to the living room so I have to work on it. And on top of that, I have an entirely new monofin to fix for it-a Mahina. I have to paint it, and I dont have a problem with that, as I'll figure out a way some how, but on the back of the Merfin, where the foot pockets are there is an intention built into the fin, and it's kind of an eyesore, and I'd like to fix it to where it's smooth and a permanent fixture onto the monofin. 😧

I have bitten off more than I can chew, and I want to have my maternity pictures done in it, and my dads health is slowly getting worse, and I want him to see me do my maternity pictures with it.

I'm in full panic mode, don't know what to do other than try to finish it as fast as possible and I'm scared I might rush through it and mess up parts or something.

Plus my hormones aren't helping me deal with this stress any better.

Oof. Good luck, Shimmer! You'll get it done.