Vent about your health

I can't put on weight
I know alot of people are tying to slim down and loose wight cause "thin is in"
but personally i hate being the size i am. 119 pounds on a good day if i'm lucky
I've been accused of being anorexic or not eating when the fact is i love to eat. i eat far more then i should sometimes
but no matter what i do i cant put on any more weight then maybe five or six pounds
you may be reading this and thing "oh stop your complaining. I wish i was that small"
No your really don't
I'm not underweight or underfed or anything but people see me and think i am cause i'm tall and lanky and its always been a big blow to my self esteem.
particular in the black community, its odd being thin, i have no ass as my cousins like to say and its true for a black person my ass and thighs might as well be nonexistent
no my boyfriend says i look great and i am often consider pretty attractive but i feel scrawny and lanky and weak and i hate it.

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Originally Posted by sunrise

I wish I didn't have epilepsy. I hate Keppra, and all it's effects on my thoughts, and I hate my doctors, since they don't listen to a word I say. I'm sick of my mom siding with doctors who sound like broken records, and I'm sick of not being involved in my own treatment.

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You should be involved in your treatment, no matter whether you are minor or not.
It's your body, and your life.
You should have the right to deny or initiate a treatment, no matter what your parents say.

The laws probably differ from country to country, but here minors do have that right,
as long as they are "able to understand what is going on".
Usually, when this is in doubt, a doctor will verify you are sensible and rational enough to decide for yourself.
The closer you are to 18, the more probable you will get granted full right to refuse or initiate a treatment.

Perhaps you can check whether it's similar where you live.
If you feel a drug makes you worse, then by all means, don't take it.
Doctors don't know everything, they are humans and can make mistakes,
but only you know how you feel inside, and sometimes that's the best indicator whether a med is the right one or not.

Thanks. :) I was starting to give in, figuring it would be easier to just listen to my mom (she brings it up if I complain about her not letting me climb or swim, etc) so you really helped me. I'm not planning on taking the new medication, and the next time I see one of the specialists, I'm not going to let them talk over me again. I'm going to ask to be taken off of Keppra, to test and see if my big seizures decrease. If I have more little twitches, showing more little seizures, but my seizures decrease to less than one every month, then I'll know that I was right. The twitch may be annoying, but I'd take annoying over falling on my Grama during a seizure again any day.

Sunrise you definitely should be involved in and approve of your own treatment. Sometimes the treatments we have are really the lesser of two evils, and with any medication there are side effects and sometimes they are horrible but less horrible than the problem being treated. If you feel you are better without your medication that is very important! I do know though that little seizures that you don't notice can still cause major problems, so I would really like you to research it and other medications you could take. In the end, it is your body and you are the one who has to live with what is done to it. In regards to your mom, usually having research to site to back up what you are saying helps a lot when kids are trying to convince their parents of things; it shows them you are more responsible and mature than they may realize. I hope you can get more control over what is happening to you, because even as an adult when your health starts affecting your life so much it really is maddening!

Sea Pearl I hope you continue to be able to mermaid! I have a strange back problem myself, and though it is not the same as yours it really helps me to be in the water, even with a tail and the dolphin kick. Maybe you can find a way to swim in tail that doesn't cause as much strain on your back? Perhaps moving more from the knees or hips, or even a certain monofin, I would have to research it to be sure but I bet there are more and less back friendly ways, y'know? Also, I am right there with you with anxiety, and I find that mermaiding helps me with that as well! In tail I am somebody else, and the worries don't barge in quite as much.

Prince Calypso while I would definitely trade places with you, I say that as someone who spent half her life underweight and trying to gain it. I'm not trying to say you shouldn't feel bad though, I totally understand where you're coming from and that especially as a black male it is a big issue for you. I wish I had a solution for you, but the only thing that changed my situation was puberty and medication side effects. I can only offer the advice that when we can't change things, we just have to adjust our minds to be as ok with them as possible. I know, kinda sucky advice but it has helped me a lot.

Lately I've been spending a lot of time with healthy people and it just seems to highlight the fact that anyone who has bad health and still goes out there and takes on the world is super awesome!

I kind of feel like I don't have a right to post in this thread because I don't have any "major" health problems but... here goes anyway?

While I'm relatively healthy (in that, I don't get sick very often, exercise regularly and try to eat healthfully), I do have some medical issues that I cannot "solve", necessarily: clinical depression, acne and the nagging sense that there's something psychologically wrong with me beyond the depression. But I'm still figuring that out.

I did manage to overcome a debilitating condition: chronic and severe constipation. I know it's gross but from birth to about 16 years of age, I was almost always constipated and for 3+ weeks at a time. The "clear" or "normal" days were few and very far between to the point where I couldn't remember what it was like to feel empty. I was immune to laxatives, my colon was blocked and my organs were being pushed around in my body. X-rays scared the doctors, revealing my colon had ballooned so much that it was appeared behind my lungs. It was that bad. Finally, after years of doctors being unable to help, I decided to drastically change my diet and exercise like crazy. That problem cleared up and I haven't had it since. I'm now 26.

The stuff I can't fix, well... my skin is very reactive to the point where if I scratch an itch, it looks like I've been whipped. It's a problem when I try to do my best to look nice for the camera. My acne flares up and I look like a beet sometimes but I do my best to overcome that too. Reducing my caffeine, salt and sugar intact has helped some. I do wish I had clear, non-Exon-Valdez skin. Seriously, I have to blot my face every hour or face oil dripping into my eyes and stinging like crazy until I was my whole face. My sister says I could lube three cars and fry a chicken by the end of the day, I have that much oil on my face, shoulders, chest and back.

My depression is treated with therapy and medication, but the medication gives me odd facial ticks around the lips and eyes from time to time. It's more annoying than anything else. The big issue with me is the weight gain. I've managed to lose three inches since starting mermaiding but it still bothers me that I'm 20 pounds heavier than I used to be. I keep telling myself it's muscle (which is true, really) but the number still wigs me out.

And I think that I may have the inability to love a man because I've been dating people since 16 and never once fallen in love. I know I'm not a lesbian and I'm not asexual so... is there something psychologically wrong with me, preventing me from feeling attracted to a man? Is it because my father abandoned my sister and I and we can't form a connection with a man because of it? I dunno. I'm seeking counseling to see if maybe I can suss out the answer to that one.

Bleh.

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Originally Posted by sunrise

I'm not planning on taking the new medication, and the next time I see one of the specialists, I'm not going to let them talk over me again. I'm going to ask to be taken off of Keppra, to test and see if my big seizures decrease. If I have more little twitches, showing more little seizures, but my seizures decrease to less than one every month, then I'll know that I was right. The twitch may be annoying, but I'd take annoying over falling on my Grama during a seizure again any day.

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:thumbs-up:
With some illnesses, it's needed to (slowly and carefully) try out which medication is best for your special case.
Everyone is different, and no one knows better than you whether a med is truly helping, or making it worse with side effects.
I do hope you can get better!
It sucks so much to have an unpredictable illness, especially at a younger age.

As for swimming; maybe you can convince your parents that it's less dangerous to do than other sports
(you can't fall hard in water).
It's possible to tailswim even in very shallow water, shallow enough that in case something happens, you won't drown.
Never go alone, of course. Have someone nearby always watching, and you should be ok.

Octavia: I totally feel you. I have a lot of similar problems that while I feel kind of bad calling them health problems, they do greatly effect my mental health. So don't feel bad venting about it; health is health, whether it's physical or mental. ((HUGS))

@ Mermaid Gosalyn I find mermaiding a stress relief too. And the more and more I do it I find it does seem to help with my back :)

Unfortunately, now I have a strange ear issue that has kick started up in the last month that has been getting me down a little. I used to have a lot of ear problems when I was a kid but they went away as I got older. Then one time last month I went mermaiding at my local pool in the afternoon and later on that night I started to notice one of my ears suddenly felt clogged. Kind of like a pressurized feeling when you are descending in an plane. At first I thought I had water trapped in my ear or it was swimmers ear, but when I went to my doctor they said it wasn't that and couldn't see anything wrong. They referred me to an ENT and I got in two weeks later who ran different tests and also said my ears were perfectly fine. But I still had the pressure feeling, though it wasn't as bad. They did say it might be swelling of the eustachian tube due to allergies. I asked if swimming underwater could have caused it but he didn't think so and said I should be alright to go ahead and continue. Now it is not as bad but shifts from either ear someday's, coming and going through the day. Someday's I cannot feel any pressure at all and it's like my ear has gone completely back to normal. Yet it always feels a little worse after swimming. I'm hoping wearing ear plugs will help with that. I have no idea if people can swim with eustachian tube dysfunction or not. I would hate to have to give up mermaiding :( Sorry for the long rant. Sometimes it helps to just talk.

I don't really have a physical or mental illness, just suffer from anxiety that can sometimes lead to mild depression, but in my lifeitme of experiencing it I've found so many ways to cope, that have lead me to my happy, positive, loving being!

I've also dealt with weight issues and body image issues as I'm sure we all have. I've always been considered "too skinny". But once I started working out, i've gained 11lb.s of muscle, and gaining! I happy to be fit and strong, and also happy to say my size 00/0 jeans are fitting so much tighter ;) "Though she be but little, she is fierce!"

I suffer from anxiety too but I try not to let it get the better of me. Think positive! I have found mermading to help with that a lot and a great stress relief for me.

I HATE MENSTRUAL CRAMPS! They're so bad they even make my BUTT hurt! My BUTT. That doesn't even have anything at all to do with the old baby making parts >.< It doesn't make sense!

Ooh ouch, Varshana, that sucks! Have some imaginary chocolate... *hands over basket of homemade chocolate* I haven't had any cramps nearly that bad in years. This may be TMI, but I found the Diva Cup works wonders for all those lady problems.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...J18GfH3dWNzAfX
I hear laughter is the best medication.

Best wishes to every ’Mer.

Bringing this up because once again I'm up at 4am with serious insomnia, for 3 days I've had major migraines on and off and I'm recovering from really bad hip pain. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and taking pills for my thyroid and for these headaches.

Can I bitch about my anemia and pleurisy (and I guess the FMF my doctor thinks I have that's causing it).

Ugh, I'm like one walking disaster. I'll be completely fine for what seems like the LONGEST time. Then I'll be doing something, and my lungs will be like "Oh, you're having fun I see... Well, can't have too much of that! You haven't had an attack in a while... It's long over due I think - Buahaha take that bitch!" and then I'm down... like, literally. I have to take an anti-inflammatory and just lay down until it stops feeling like I'm being stabbed. It likes to make that stabbing pain RIGHT behind my left boob too, and it makes my whole tata burn, as well as my left arm (the first time it really happened badly, I went to the Emergency because the teacher at my school thought I was having a heart-attack when I told her how it felt... Yeah, way to go genetics, now if I ever DO have a real heart attack, I probably won't realize it because I'll think it's my lungs being jerks).

Similar thing with the anemia.... "Oh, you're having fun and everything... Wouldn't it just SUCK if you suddenly fainted or just got incredibly drowsy? Wonder no more, it's happening! Oh, and let's make your spider-fingers and hands super cold and clammy too, so when you shake someone's hand, the freak out." Although, to be fair with the anemia, the sudden fainting is often times partially my fault (like, I kind of know when I'm not feeling too well, and yet I'll still try and move like normal, which is just apparently a tad too fast for when I'm feeling sick)

I've been debating whether to say anything or not. I usually keep health matters private.

I guess I'll just blurt it out. I found out Friday that I have Parkinson's.

I figure that if Michael J. Fox can deal with it, so can I.

I just wasted my whole labour day weekend in the hospital emergency :( I started getting these terrible upper stomach pains, that turned into contractions. Friday night we were camping and I woke up in tears and had to get Seanny to walk me down to the showers so I could just stand in the heat for a while it seemed to help a wee bit. I spent the whole time from Friday at Lunch til Saturday at dinner in horrible horrible pain before we finally decided to drive 2 hours to the closest hospital from where we were camping. This pain has happened to me before and doctors have NEVER done anything, not even given me pain meds, so Iw asn't convinced they'd do much.

When we got to the emergency, two other people cut in line in front of me when it was my turn to see the triage nurse, so I was off to a bad start already. But thankfully once I saw the triage nurse I was processed really quickly. Considering I was in a totally different province than my own! I was already thinking no one was going to listen to me, so I was rehearsing how I was going to insist on needing help when the doctors arrived. Usually when you go to emergency, they try and get you in and out as quickly as possible and make you feel stupid for even going (that's been my overall experience) like how dare you take up a valuable bed with anything less than life or death. But thankfully, Sean and I were happily proven wrong. The resident came in and she was AMAZING. She took my whole health history, agreed with me on which tests I should have (I wanted to check for ulcers, pancreatitis, and endometriosis for a variety of reasons) and also slated me for a few more. Now, in Canada I have waited a YEAR to have a single ultrasound. So the fact she was going to do as many tests as she could while I was there was huge. I had to have some not so fun tests, but most of them were manageable. She made me feel super validated and listened to.

They hooked me up to an IV since eating and drinking even water seemed to make the pain worse. So I could stay hydrated and now worry about that. Then I got my first real dose of IV pain meds. I've never had them before that I can remember. The first one they gave me was to stop my organs from spasming. It helped a tiny bit but not enough. After that they have me diloded (sp?) and while it ook the pain away it was a scary experience. They didn't warn me about the side effects and instantly I got such a bad head rush that the wind was knocked out of me and I couldn't breath and I just started crying because everything went double vision and my senses were all fu*ked up. So seanny was the dutiful bf and held my hand. After that they gave me the drugs in my arm instead of the iv. It hurt like hell, but it went in my body slower and I didn't have that crazy rushed feeling.

The scary thing is, the super pain meds only took the edge off. I was still in a lot of pain. They kept me over night, we didn't even have doors on our room, and Sean had nowhere to sleep. So he slept in the car on my mermaid tails! He joked that he got to use them more than I did this weekend. When he came in the next morning he had scale imprints on his face. lol. Over night I'd wake up every 2 hours in pain. It sucked. IN the morning they sent me for an ultrasound. So finally we figured out what it was...

I have chronic gastritis and have had it for 4 years most likely. The pain meds I have been given to treat my other illnesses totally destroyed my stomach. The doctor also thinks I have endometriosis- which I have been begging my doctor to test me for because I have all the symptoms and people with my other illness are likely to develop it. So they put me on meds to heal my stomach. Gave me a different coated pain killer (prescription) for the next time I need a pain killer, and are advocating for me with my doctors here in my province to get tested and treated for endo.

It really sucked to spend my long weekend in the hospital, but at least I finally got help for something I have been going to emergency for for 4 years. I'm home now but I'm still in a lot of pain and am having trouble eating. It sucks. lol

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I've been debating whether to say anything or not. I usually keep health matters private.

I guess I'll just blurt it out. I found out Friday that I have Parkinson's.

I figure that if Michael J. Fox can deal with it, so can I.

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I'm really sorry to hear that I know treatment for Parkinson's has come so far in the last decade. I know several people who have it and they live full lives. I wish you the best of luck. <3

I noticed as I get older...injuries just happen faster...sigh..I know it will only get worse. It seems like my injuries last about a year before moving to a different body part. Being a dancer is hard on the body I guess. LOL...injured my hips years ago, then last year had upper arm/shoulder injury. Though I continued to dance it made healing alot slower. Then I had costocondritis for about 6 months which was awful. (Caused by crying of all things after my dog died) :( I have learned to deal w/ my migraines and pvc's, but now I hurt my foot. Damn. I still dance on it, b/c I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but it is just frustrating not feeling 100%. dont even get me started regarding insomnia....LOL

Most days I am fine mentally, but I can put me in a funk! hugs to everyone

Raina, I am so sorry you were in the ER. I can only imagine how painful that was. My son was hospitalized last November with Colitis when he went away to Indiana to see his girlfriend. My husband had to fly out there with him. He was there for 4 days, before we flew him home and transfer him to the hospital here, then he stayed in 3 more days. It was rough, he was so sick. I hope you can get yourself regulated!!