I quit drinking earlier this year :')Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren
So hot coco, PJs, ben and jerrys and lots of movies sound good instead? lol
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I quit drinking earlier this year :')Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren
So hot coco, PJs, ben and jerrys and lots of movies sound good instead? lol
I am subbed to you on Tumblr and I saw you post about some of this but I wasn't really sure what it was all about.
*HUGG*
I'm so sorry you had such a rough time :-(
But Houdini is soooo cute and the story really makes me happy to read :-) and I think your leggings look amazing on you yaaays!! :-) xxxxx
*huge hugs back* <3 Thankyouhs <3Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanRose
I haven't been on tumblr much but my instagram at least feeds through into it and to facebook X_x
even better i dont drink anyway :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid Lilium
multiple flavours of tea, bashing of the other sex (because its fun on some occasions, who doesn't want to admit it?) some treats (vegan icecream and other stuff that has dairy in it please because mad craves!), and a ton of games sound good too!
I need to hunt down this game called 'snap it' cause I've seen zoella and co (youtubers) playing it in her apartment and it looks like serious fun lol It's like those velcro bats you used to catch the ball on, except it folds in to catch the ball like a catchers mitt and then when you open it up again it launches the ball back at the other person =3Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren
and I have epic tea you'd probably love (jasmine green tea with lavender and chamomile) and always love more epic tea finds so sounds perfect <3
I need a teleporter or something to bring everyone over so we can have a bitch sesh while on the theme park I live opposite right now too XD plenty of bedrooms for everyone too :')
I could bring over my apple cinnamon hibiscus tea :D also have the mango tea and orange tea. Also I love love loooove bitter mint tea
ooooo those all sound fantabulous! ITS A DATE! :D *magically teleports you over* lolQuote:
Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren
yayyy!! <3
Haven't had a bitch fit in a while so here it goes:
recently having issues with a certain chick who likes to stick her nose into everything and loves to "correct people", changing topics or providing useless information, and she's just rubbing off on me the wrong way. And if we try to tell her how it is she's always want resources for our info. Some info just isn't recorded. Sometimes it's about personal life experiences. Honey if you want to be scholarly or want a fruitful discussion about topics you suddenly want to discuss that no way relates to what we're talking about, maybe you should find another group.
Dang this pregnancy nose! My entire house stinks- there's a rotten smell in the kitchen that I can't track down, and the bedroom smells musty and there's this sickly/sweet smell. Worst part is hubby smells nothing, and can't help me track down the sources. I sometimes find it difficult to eat at home because of all the nasty smells.
OMG Lilium, that's just a series of unfortunate events D: *merhugs* I'm sorry things went so crazy for you! Well at least you got a cute little furry friend out of all of it - you got pretty lucky that it wasn't just some wild rodent haha! *joins tea party with gunpowder green and yerba mate*
Ooh, Aziara, I remember that... Being able to smell EVERYTHING is not fun :/ You have my sympathies...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aziara
Evolution can be a bitch! It gets sensitive so you don't eat anything untoward that might hurt the baby...but some smells stick with you for the rest of your life - I can't even catch a whiff of Shake-N-Bake without gagging, and my kid just turned 30!
My husband went to Paris today in a business trip. Upon arriving, he got a call from the University he works for, to tell him that the proposal for funds that he is applying for and that is due in 2 days time (and that his secretary delivered today) has errors of form, and it cannot be presented.
He cannot make anything to correct the mistakes. He has to wait for the Ministery of Education to cancel the submission or to open a new one so he can present it properly - if they do it, which it is not for sure. The funding he is applying for would give work for 2 years to 3 people, including a salary for him. Sometimes I hate burocracy...
Contains discussion of sexual harassment etc
IM UPSET. Here’s what happened. This guy I work with and I were becoming really good friends and i really enjoyed working with him and chatting etc. He’s MARRIED. And I have no sort of attraction to him whatsoever. So the other day I was bent over with my elbows on the table and my back bent so I could stretch it because I have a bad back and he goes don’t stand like that right there. I look and he’s right I’m in view of the customers so I moved behind a wall and resumed texting in the same position. I was all better? Lol. He goes: dont stand like that there either. And I’m all. “Oh pfff come on Lorenzo I don’t have an ass to stare at” and I walked away laughing it off. Then after we closed but were still working he comes and tells me that he’s been meaning to tell me that it bothers him when I stand that way because regardless of the fact that I have no ass it’s still kindof “erotic” and like basically that he doesn’t want to think of me like that but when I stand that way he can’t help it. So I sortof said ah got it and continued working because I didn’t really know how to respond but then I started getting really pissed and upset like that’s making his inability to control his imagination somehow my fault and like keep that to yourself plz and like now I’m not comfortable around him and it was fucked of him to say right? I’m not overreacting...?
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You are NOT over-reacting.
Somehow it's your responsibility to modify your behaviour so you don't turn him on? That's pathetic and sick.
Please report this to your HR department or whatever boss you can... and if this is where he starts, who knows what he will think he can't control next.
You have every right to be angry.
OH GOD that excuse again... It is never your fault for someone else not being able to control their imagination. For serious. Not everything is sexual, and you need to be able to stand/stretch in a comfortable position for your back if you need to without someone sexualizing it and then blaming it on you. That right there is where the "she/he/they was/were asking for it" defense starts, and it needs to be made very clear that that behaviour needs to stop. Letting people get away with thinking that you are in the wrong for making them feel that way just validates that and lets them start putting all the blame for their actions on other people. If he says something like that again (assuming you don't report him to HR or anything), I suggest putting your foot down and letting him know that those kind of comments are not okay and that he should be ashamed of himself for blaming others for his shortcomings.
If he's married and doesn't want to think of you that way, then maybe he should avert his eyes and think of his wife.
Sorry about the rant, I could go on for days about this kind of thing... I am super-passionate about this and for good reason.
I'm sorry he ruined what was becoming a 'good friends' status relationship, too. But I'm glad he showed what kind of person he really is.
son deserve a good fish-slap.
I would say you are not over-reacting at all.. maybe even under reacting.. As the Sea Nymph put it, you are not responsible for his immaturity. I would be hard pressed to not say that he was wrong in saying what he did, especially being as he is married. That being said, I wonder what his wife would think of his inability to control his thoughts.
And I agree with SeaGlass.. he probably does need a good slap.. in the face.. with a wall...
Not perfect but the first thing that comes to mind:
Attachment 24452
It is not your fault, you shouldn't have to change yourself to accommodate him. It isn't your fault that he has these thoughts. There is no reason your work day should be disrupted nor should you be made uncomfortable because a male coworker may or may not have sexual thoughts about you.
I'd either tell him those comments are not appropriate and/or immediately talk to a supervisor or Human Resources.
His need to not see you as a sexual object, which at this point he already is, you bending over has nothing to do with that, should not disrupt your ability to work or make you uncomfortable.
Thanks everyone. I'm going to give him a chance to apologize simply because I enjoy him as a friend. But only after I tear him the f*ck up. I hears he's resigning too so even if it goes poorly I want him to know that what he did was wrong and either way I won't have to see him after a week or so.
Oh and today at work after ranting to a coworker we have the majority of the restaurant saying "ummm can you not stand like that?" As a joke. Only she knows what it means and I hope that he gets the picture next time he works because I want him to be as uncomfortable as possible.
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Sounds like you have it under control. :) Glad you have someone supportive there. And that he's leaving!
It actually bums me out because I like him. And I want to be friends with him after I finish tearing him a new one. I don't like many people at work.
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Who knows, maybe he will actually learn from it. That would be of benefit to every woman in his future.
I hope so.
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So I'm really upset, angry, and feeling extremely low and self conscious.... why? Two words: Tonsil Stones. A few days ago, I realized I had these horrid little stones bothering me at the back of my throat, I googled it and found they were tonsil stones, little collections of bacteria that smell like Satan's bowels. They are really hard to get out on my own, and I'm really down about it because my breath has always been something I'm self conscious bout (since I have braces and have totaled harder care of my oral hygiene). I could get my tonsils removed and stop them from occurring but I've been taking the cheap way out and getting them out with q-tips. But again, I can't get them all :/ I get really down whenever I'm in a room and I hear someone say "Did someone fart? It smells like fart." because I known they are talking about me :( woe is me.
Before resorting to reporting him to HR, talk to him and tell him how angry and upset you are, how his comment is inappropriate and his imagination is not your problem. Be sure to tell him that you had valued your platonic friendship, and don't let him laugh it off as a joke...("It was a joke, I was just kidding!")Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid Wesley
Be sure to let him know how disappointed you are. Perhaps ruining a friendship over something so stupid will prevent him from doing it again in the future.
People come into your life for a reason, just as you are part of others' lives. Maybe the loss of your friendship will wake him up.
If he continues with his bad behavior, go straight to Human Resources/boss/labor department and file a formal complaint.
Good luck!
Wow, SeaMage! I had no idea about tonsil stones and read this article about them: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/he...tons.html?_r=0
What does your doctor recommend?
yeah, I get these too. You can dip your q-tip in peroxide and swab as much of the tonsil as you can reach. I find taking magnesium helps desolve them a little, as they are usually calcium based. But mustly they have to be dug/squeezed/pushed out. I have a teeth cleaning tool like a dentist uses, I use it to go digging--I've also got a little squirt syringe with a bent tip that I use to flush the whole tonsil with water. But these only really work for me because I've been suppressing my gag reflex for years. I really wouldn't suggest getting your tonsils yanked out... your body will just find another dump site internally. That junk gotta go somewhere!Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaMage108
White plaques on the tonsils can also be a symptom of laryngopharyngeal reflux. It's a "silent" type of reflux, because you don't get heartburn with it. I was diagnosed with this about a year ago and I manage it with diet. You might consider going to a laryngologist to assess your tonsils and larynx. If you do have that form of reflux and it goes undiagnosed/untreated, it can lead to throat cancer. Don't mean to be an alarmist, but get it checked out!
I've been on the opposite end of the spectrum than Mermaid Wesley. When I started interning at my current office, I was one of only a few girls in my intern group. Some of the higher-up co-workers started offering the other girls to hang out with them at movies or go out to dinner with them and friends, but when I offered to hang out with them in the same way, I got the cold shoulder. Not that I was interested in anything beyond a platonic relationship, but I believed that no single girl should get better priveleges than others. These higher-ups would hover around these girls while they worked, offered them longer breaks, help if they needed it, and gave them special assignments that required very little work. Nobody did or said anything about it. These other girls were already in relationships, anyways! So when I asked these same people for some help at work (not even asking for anything outside of that), some would respond with, "ew", and ignore me. Geez, I didn't know I was THAT hideous.
A couple years later, they both got promoted to manager status, and one got fired for sexual harassment. (Big surprise there.)
I'm planning on going to an ENT doctor next week. Hopefully, they'll just give me some antibiotics
It's like damned if you do damned if you don't. I'm sorry that happened to youQuote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
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My last job was in HR. I was the Executive Assistant to the Director of Human Resources for a loan company about 8 years ago, and I want to mention one thing- talking to HR doesn't have to mean filing an official complaint. One thing it can mean is a 'heads up.' Sometimes an HR department- or if you're a smaller company, the HR person- wants to know if these things happen on a smaller scale like his saying what he did. They won't always tell you to open an official complaint, they won't always talk to him (or her) but it's a good idea to let them know it's happening. That way, when it comes time for the official filing of a report of sexual harassment, they will have those notes to refer to.
Every company is different, but all of them are operating under harassment laws and are very aware of how much trouble they will be in if it goes on- people sue over these things, usually with success. In California, the laws are very clear. Creating a hostile work environment through harassment of any kind is in fact illegal.
I know it's illegal and I could get him in trouble but I would like to handle it personally as we are friends
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Illegal or not, a small heads up to HR doesn't have to turn into something bigger, but I do understand. Although, if he were your friend, he wouldn't have treated you that way. Anyway, I'm done. I hope you get the result you want. :)
Thanks. And I get what you're saying, but he is actually quitting soon so I don't think it would be of much use. I'm more worried about teaching him a lesson than making sure he's held accountable.Quote:
Originally Posted by SurlySeaNymph
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This might sound stupid, but I have to get it off my chest. Literally.
Movies and TV shows always portray large-busted women as being more attractive to men and looking better than normally-proportioned women in anything they wear. Not the case. It's hard to not end up looking like you're a bag lady in a muumuu or making the buttons on your shirt cry from being pulled to the brink, neither of which is a good look. I think people prefer the look of thinness/tonedness to ample bosoms these days. My own parents show more approval of me when my weight is lower -- and the girls are as concealed as possible.
I also feel a little bummed when the term "curvy" is used as a euphemism for "overweight". You can be a curvy size 0, or a straight size 28. Curvy relates to shape, not size. I'm guessing that is the word of choice because the bigger you are, the less likely you are to have a "boyish" look, but to have some ins and outs. Nonetheless, you can be curvy at any size, and it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. Hell, even "overweight" doesn't necessarily equate unhealthy.
**Disclaimer** I mean no offense to anyone of any size or shape by this gripe. It is only a reflection of how I feel about myself and my mixed feelings towards my "treasure chest".
Mermaid Wesley you will face this more as your job life goes on unfortunately and how you deal with it will in a large way determine which teams you become successful with. This likely won’t be the most you will hear.
The part that you said “This guy I work with and I were becoming really good friends”, real good friends?
Looking coldly at this, he’s opening up to flirt with you. When it’s inappropriate just tell him, just like in school if he’s your friend it will shut him down. As he didn't touch you and it’s just this one time- Just let him know, Mermaid don’t play that game! From what you’ve said he hasn't done this to anyone else either.
Some people are just trouble and some have just a lapse in judgment, only once while you’ve worked there? “Bad judgement.”
“really good friends” – tell him you felt that was inappropriate.
Ugh I feel you girly. Boobs suck. The only clothes that ever fit me well are hella expensive. And as far as curvy goes. Hell I just call myself curvy. I have a little waist, no butt, big ole thighs, but the boobs though. THE BOOBS. There's not really another g rated word for my body type. And if someone whines at me for benign skinny and calling myself curvy I'll just ask so what would you call me then because if there's a better word plz let me know. Oh and don't get me started on t-shirts and hoodies. Can you say blob? Ok yeah I just agree with this so hard.
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