I'm so sorry this happened, Celeste! Just don't let him get you down. If he doesn't except you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you.
Printable View
I'm so sorry this happened, Celeste! Just don't let him get you down. If he doesn't except you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you.
It is almost impossible to find a high level riding instructor without owning a sport horse. I am going to have to pay fifty extra bucks to use a horse belonging to the one instructor I found willing to lend a mount, bringing the lesson price up to $150 USD per lesson. I understand that horses is a tough business but I wish there was some kind of middle ground between a mostly beginner barn where you compete at schooling shows that basically give ribbons to "the best of the worst" and A show barns that expect you to own a $20,000 horse, pay $1,200 a month for training and board, and spend at least $1,000 per show. I just feel so frustrated! I LOVE riding and I want to be a GOOD rider, but it is so expensive! I went to a schooling show yesterday just to watch and it HAMMERED into me, however, why I need a good barn. The riding was TERRIBLE. Not a single horse in the "hunter division" moved like a hunter and some were just flat out nags. There were riders who shouldn't have been allowed out if the roundpen riding the 2 foot division and no one even signed up for their "highest" division--3 foot. I do not want to be stuck at that level forever, but I can't afford a horse that costs as much as my car and can colic at any moment.
I am SO not the one to care about having money or designer brands or anything like that, but my love of horses is the one thing that makes me really wish I was a trust fund baby.
I am also bipolar, do I understand that it can be tough on friends and family.... However, what he said was flat out wrong. He's a bastard, plain and simple. If he really loved you he would try and join up with you to help you and work things out, not throw you away and act like him being around is some big favor.Quote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
Don't even consider taking that slimeball back! He's demanding that you suddenly not have a serious health problem, one that's lifelong in most patients, in six months time AND demanding that you not take the medicine you need to manage that condition? Seriously? Would he dump a diabetic for taking insulin, too? He wants you to lose weight, too! Brilliant idea, you'll only have to chop off a limb! You're a fit woman, you don't need to lose any weight. The man is sleaze! A man like that is very easy to replace, since they're a dime a dozen. Loving someone with mood swings may not be easy at times, but if he was half the man he seems to think he is, he would find it the most rewarding relationship he's ever been in. You can do so much better than him!Quote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
Celeste, what everyone else said about your ex is dead on. I know you're hurting, and knowing he's a jerk doesn't stop that, at least for a while. I'm sorry that happened to you. Just don't take his behavior or anything he said to you as a reflection of YOU. He just outed himself for being a creep, and he must secretly hate himself to treat someone else like that. You have people who really care about you, so remember that, and don't feel alone. And you don't owe him anything, not another word, or breath, or minute of your time. Just focus on yourself and healing your heart. :)
Thank you guys for all of your kind words. I'm going to get used to the empty spot in my bed by buying an anime-boy (Haru from Free!) shaped body pillow. At least it won't steal the sheets.
I've been meaning to get one of those, myself, but I'm having a hard time finding one of Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji. I've been told that sleeping in the middle of the bed can help one adapt to not having to share it anymore.Quote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
ok so not really bitching but frusterating. I was friended by a teen from Poland recently, we have more than 10 friends in common, all mers. The past two days she messages me with 'how are you?' to which I reply with 'fine, and you?' and 'good, busy getting ready for the 4 day weekend for the kids'. her responses? 'ok'. so I try to engage her in conversation
me: what are you up to?
her: ok
me: is it snowing yet, where you are? We never get snow here, I miss it
her: ok
I mean come on! the language barrier isn't that bad between us, hell I have amazing conversations with my friend (and one of my favorite actors/musicians) Max and he speaks primarily German. We use translators for certain things.
That almost sounds like a spam bot. There's been a lot of them popping up recently. I had a similar encounter via my mer facebook page. Very weird.Quote:
Originally Posted by PhaylennMurúch
What's a spam bot for?
And that explains some weird "conversations" I have had (or rather, not had) on FB.
Always starts with some random, who may or may not have friended me before, messaging me with "hey how are you", and reply with "ok" or "well" and nothing else if you say something back.
I asked someone who I didn't recognize, "I'm well, and do I know you?" and the reply was "well" and nothing else was forthcoming lol.
Spam bot would make sense, but this one plays games on FB too
Or just an actual human who's a bit mental :crazy:Quote:
Originally Posted by PhaylennMurúch
Does anyone know a girl called Ashlee Shepherd? She came onto my mermaid page and commented on a video of mine saying my tails were hideous and the ugliest things she has ever seen. - okay so in the video i have my blue tail home made and my green magic tail. I responded to the comment saying - sorry you don't like them Ashlee, good thing you don't have to wear them then. I also sent her a personal message to ask what her problem was and why she felt the need to publicly bash my work. I checked her page and we have no mutual friends, however she has liked a bunch of other mer pages - mostly mers with silicone tails. Her reply to me was just dismissive and rude so I gave as good as she was giving, she's so quick to judge even though she's not even a mermaid ? and now I'm getting bitchy but jeezzzz look in the mirror before you start judging others... her cosplay isn't anything to rave about ! has she been on anyone else's page spreading her nastiness ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid Melanie
sounds like she is envious of you. She certainly has a lot of anger
Yeah I don't know its just so weird - it doesnt seem like she is in the mer community other than liking a few pages but oh well, I guess it might make her feel better about something
There are plenty of people (mainly I have seen YouTube users) who bash mermaids that don't use silicone tails. I guess that in their mind, if you don't have the most expensive and realistic tail there is, you are a "fail", "not real", "OMG fake" and so on.
I had a comment saying that I "defiantly (sic) needed a Mertailor tail". I read it as "You have potential but unless you get a realistic tail you are not worth it".
Someone said I lied about who made my tail lol
this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Talia
Thankfully, Nagas aren't as popular as mermaids, but even so I get some comments like "this fabric is slightly translucent when wet, that's a problem" on videos where I'm trying out if it's possible to swim in a long snake tail without monofin.
If there were tailmakers who made silicone snake tails, I'm sure I would get just as much crap as other mers :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talia
This is one of the reasons why I have no immediate ambitions to become a professional mermaid. If I were to advertise myself as a mermaid, then everybody would expect me not only to have a tail but an expensive, "realistic" one at that. And that would mean having to invest a lot of money right from the start. I haven't even figured out whether or not I'd be comfortable with swimming with my legs together (comfortable in the sense that I'm not having panic attacks all the time wondering if I'm about to drown). Being a hobbyist has its advantages sometimes. I can take things at my own pace and do things my own way (such as go for scale-patterned leggings plus swim fins instead of a tail, at least to begin with). But yeah, it bothers me too that some people think silicone is the only option.
When you're actually doing something that you love to do, professionally or not, it makes people mad. They get furious that you've ignored societies stigmas and bullshit and are doing something different and they are not doing it because they are afraid. So instead of seeing what you do as inspiration to be brave, they attack you. All of those negative comments and the "fake!" shouts say everything about the person saying them, nothing about you. That person is being fake about who they are and who they want to be, while you are being honest about what makes you happy. Don't let their insecurities get you down. You don't have time for that, you have mermaid shit to do. :)
Wow... just.... wow... :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by AniaR
I just wanted to say, Thank you, Naufra! Your suggestion to sleep in the middle of the bed works wonderfully! I finally got a good night's sleep, and my cat can now sleep on either side of me! I'm starting to feel better as long as he cuts off contact to me. Next week, swim team exercises! And this time, I'm doing it for myself!
so my mother in law's father (my husbands grandpa) might be passing tonight. everyone of his children was called into the hospital and they are spending their final moments with him. it's stressing my mom in law out so much that she's not thinking properly. it got so bad that my father in law was actually yelling at her as soon as they both came home. i can't understand Cantonese but it was terrifying for me.
it's stressing my husband out a lot too.
quite frankly i kind of don't know how to act or behave. both of my grandfathers have passed back at home but i was never able to actually go see them due to flight cost + distance, and i never really got to spend as much time with them. and i never really received or gave much sympathy either because i have never seen or was put into a situation like this. ever. 3 of my friends have passed away in my lifetime and it was a traumatic thing for me personally because i spent most of my time in school, like i literally grew up with these people. my family on the other hand, well....
so when i heard about this, i... really have no idea how to react.
i talked to my mom about it and she said it's part of life, she'll get over the pain eventually. she's sad, so just provide comfort. but i can't really provide sympathy/empathy because i really don't know what it feels like to lose a member of your family. (i mean i had a pet hamster die, and she was like family but i am pretty sure it's not the same. i grieved over a year and i'm over it now..ish..)
guys.. i have no idea what to do :|..
Just be there for your husband. Whether he shows he needs the comfort or not, be there for him. You don't have to talk to him about it if you don't want to or know how to, just show him that you're by his side no matter what.
Gotta tell you, though, many pro mers use tails that aren't silicone and they do great. MeduSirena's tails are fabric, and she does great. I hear about her all the time, see her gig vids show up here and there. People who demand a 'kind' of tail over a good performance are just wasting your time, and their protestations are pretty pointless. Ignoring them is anyone's best bet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucinda
MermaidCeleste: Wow, what a scumbag! You get that awesome anime body pillow and cuddles with your cat <3 I'm sorry that happened, that's just wrong. There's someone better and more understanding out there for you.
On the topic of fabric tails: If you haven't seen Stella the Siren's youtube videos yet, you should totally check them out! She makes the most beautiful, flowing, realistic fabric tails, and somehow she seems to have a really neat way of moving in them to seem like she's swimming side-to-side, like a fish! I would absolutely hire her as a pro mermaid. Just because tails are made of fabric doesn't mean you can't be a quality pro-mer!
Celeste i am sorry that your ex treated you this way. You did not deserve that at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
I will tell you a quote my brother has used for scumbags in my past:' Put a stamp on him" in other words: get rid of him asap.
That is the same advice i would give you. Do not take him back. He is the kind of guy that deserves a stamp on him, send him on his way ;)
Even though we live in the Netherlands we celebrate Thanksgiving since my husband is from the US.
It is getting colder and colder here so i wanted to wear a nice warm sweater...went into the closet only to find all my warm sweaters (they are a bit in the back of the closet) to be completly smelling of mold! :anger explode:
So i packed everything in bags and my mom will wash it out this weekend (we do not have a washing machine)
Today i decided to go through the closet only to find 2 more sections to have clothing that smelled like mold GRRRR
Had to take those out....all the shoes in there were covered in mold as well.
So i had to clean it all up tonight. So sick of this damn mold everywhere!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
Its so sad how the public in general have a negative attitude towards people with mental illness. I also suffer from mental illness, anxiety and depression, and when I have a bad night it can be hard to find someone to talk to or support you. Some of my friends would go out of their way to avoid me if they knew I was down. I know I have freaked some out when I am laying on the ground under a playground curled into a ball crying. Most people expect that from a child, not a 20 year old 6'4" man.
I'm glad that helped. ^_^Quote:
Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL
Well bit of an update not really a bitching..
he passed away yesterday morning (12 am ish). It was really sad during his final moments. It seemed like he had so much to say but couldn't say it because he was physically struggling. All he kept doing was move his mouth and cry.
Funeral is on Tuesday.
I'm so sorry you are going through all this...my condolences to you and your family.
My condolences, SeaGlass Siren.
I'm so sorry for your loss, SeaGlass.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deepblue
Actually, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to throw myself into something that I'm not ready for. It's not as such about tails and their materials, but about various issues. My swimming\diving skills are rusty after 14 years of only a few stray swims per year. My sewing skills are rubbish too. And I have social anxiety. So, the last thing I need at the moment is to be tackling trolls who complain about petty things like what kind of material a tail is made from.
Thankyou Lucinda, pearlie and Galene.
I'm sorry for your loss, SeaGlass Siren.
My dad moved my bike from the garage to one of our barns, the one that has a crazy number of pidgons. And he puts the bike right under where they roost. Now my bike is covered in shit and its an absolute mess. He is always complaining about not being considerate. Had he told me it needed moved I wouldn't have put it under the birds and I would have used the bike cover I bought this summer but didn't use because I thought it didn't need one in the garage. And I can't say anything about it because he will be pissed at me. He got angry at me the other night because I forgot I put my pop into the fridge and drank from my brother's can.
...I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder (orthorexia)... and unfortunately it's not one of the usual ones, so most therapists/doctors don't even know how to treat it... Not that I'd want to "recover", because then I would just be giving in and eating all these bad foods all the time, because I just know that if I'm suddenly not "OCD about food" anymore, then everyone's just going to go balls-to-the-wall giving me artificial colours and flavours and things cooked in Teflon (which is what started the confrontation this morning).
I really don't know where to talk abut this, because it's not even technically a diagnosable disorder right now, and I'm not sure if it falls under the "vent about your health" thread or the "living with mental issues" thread, or here. So if I need to move my talk to another thread, just let me know. But I would like someone to talk to about this who doesn't just tell me about the starving kids in Africa who would be happy for the food that's in front of me - because all that makes me think is that someone should find me a way to send my breakfast to them and THEY can eat it and we'll all be happy. :doh:
On another note, I'm getting really sick of the housemates/my bf's family who just barged in here and are totally disrupting everyone's lives, and keeping me and my mertender from being able to do any crafts or take photoshoots, so we can't make money. Also, they like to just sit in their monster gaz-guzzler with poor emissions and just LET IT IDLE FOR AN HOUR while he smokes cigarettes... and of course the fumes all waft into MY room, because I live on a porch with a door that won't close.
so sorry for your loss SeaGlass *huge mer hugs*