B!TC# IT OUT!

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Originally Posted by Vrindavana Starfish

I live in an area where people basically worship their dogs and humans can go to hell. In my apartment complex, dogs live here and humans get to stay too. Every place in this area is like that. Most of these apartments have at least 2 dogs, and their owners are away during the day and just leave the dogs. I work from home, and it sounds like a freaking kennel. Dogs barking and/or howling non-stop all frigging day. And the dog fights. Constantly. I find dog hair everywhere—in my car, all over my front walkway—I DON'T HAVE A DOG!! There's a dog park, and then another park. People take their dogs to the "human" park to shit there so there's nowhere I can go without stepping in dog shit. And their attitude is if you don't bow down to the dogs than you're a horrible heartless, soulless person. I'd just like a day where I don't hear people's pets going mad in their apartments alone all day. I'd like to walk down the sidewalk without being lunged at by neighbor's pets, in front of my own place, and then get dirty looks from the owners like I did something wrong.

I love animals, but their owners are another story. And the next dog that lunges at me will get reported. If one more person says, "oh no he's friendly!" while their Kujo is snapping and growling at me, I'm going to lose it.

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I have a dog myself and am a dog lover....BUT....there are limits and boundaries that everyone needs to live by.
If these dogs are making your life miserable and unpleasant i say, report them.
It is up to the owners to make sure the dogs are doing well when they leave the appartment and leave the dogs all alone.
If their dogs are the kind that can't be left alone...they need to find a dog sitter for the day to entertain them or place them in a doggy daycare.
We live in the middle of a forest. The road iin our street is a dirt road, a private road, yet every weekend en even during the week people walk their dogs here....not even having them on a leash! And having them shit everywhere.
I have opened my mouth a few times telling them their dogs need to be on a leash. My god....they are in a forest with wild animals like deers, rabbits etc. They are obligated to have them on a leash....and don't even get me started on the dog poop!
I think i will invest some money in an official sign saying that this is a private road and another sign that says dogs need to be on a leash and dog poop has to be picked up.
It is unbelievable how ignorant dog owners can be!
So once again....i would say either talk to the dog owners and share your concern and see if it helps.
If it does not help, you have given them a fair warning and it is time to report them.
Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Naufra

@ Cascada: I propose a similar, but alternate strategy that I doubt you'll get in trouble for: laugh at her. Mock her pathetic attempts to insult you as cruelly as you possibly can. At first, she'll question your sanity and maybe your intelligence, and might redouble her efforts initially, but when she sees her insults continually failing to bother you she'll start to wonder if they have any effect. If you can keep it up long enough, and it does get easier as you go, she'll eventually give up, and may even lose a lot of self-esteem. I can tell you from personal experience that this method works, it has worked for me many times and I still use it when suitable. This strategy not only shows bullies that they have no power over you and blocks their attempts at manipulating your emotions, it also manipulates their emotions and allows you power over them. It's a double-header that you can't really get in trouble for as long as you only use it as a direct response to her bullying.

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thankyou for the advice :) I have been exceptionally kind to her and I laugh at her attempt to hurt me. Recently while we were in church, she was being extremely rude and she even ended up shoving me. She has had a horrid attitude and because of this my mom is removing her from my room until she's nicer. Seems like she caused her own self destruction. AND my mom and I have set some money out to see if she takes it. That is pretty much the deal breaker. If she takes the money she is out of a room. ^.^

That's fantastic! Glad to hear your mum is seeing her behaviour and acting on it. Hopefully this will be the start of an attitude change for her.

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Melaina

That's fantastic! Glad to hear your mum is seeing her behaviour and acting on it. Hopefully this will be the start of an attitude change for her.

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Hopefully! When my mom told her that she was no longer allowed in my room, she replied with, "Good, I don't care". It's pretty obvious she does care.

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Originally Posted by Adalira

I have a dog myself and am a dog lover....BUT....there are limits and boundaries that everyone needs to live by.
If these dogs are making your life miserable and unpleasant i say, report them.
It is up to the owners to make sure the dogs are doing well when they leave the appartment and leave the dogs all alone.
If their dogs are the kind that can't be left alone...they need to find a dog sitter for the day to entertain them or place them in a doggy daycare.
We live in the middle of a forest. The road iin our street is a dirt road, a private road, yet every weekend en even during the week people walk their dogs here....not even having them on a leash! And having them shit everywhere.
I have opened my mouth a few times telling them their dogs need to be on a leash. My god....they are in a forest with wild animals like deers, rabbits etc. They are obligated to have them on a leash....and don't even get me started on the dog poop!
I think i will invest some money in an official sign saying that this is a private road and another sign that says dogs need to be on a leash and dog poop has to be picked up.
It is unbelievable how ignorant dog owners can be!
So once again....i would say either talk to the dog owners and share your concern and see if it helps.
If it does not help, you have given them a fair warning and it is time to report them.
Good luck!

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Thanks! There are a few dog owners who are really awesome with their dogs. But having a dog here is like the fashion accessary that is most necessary, and having multiple is like some kind of status symbol, and so many people aren't responsible with these living beings that require a lot of care and attention. It's awful.

wasted and hour and my phone battery trying to post a vine. its so frustrating i could of spent that time working on my cosplay :mad:

Well, I guess I am back at square one... My dad told my mom that it's cold on the back porch (where Kayla now has to sleep) and he basically convinced her to let Kayla back into my room. o now I feel like my parents are both against me. My mother told me that I should ignore Kayla and kill her with kindness... I am sick and tired of this. You know what's cold? It's not the back porch, it's the way Kayla treats me. I get so stressed that I begin having chest pains (I have a heart condition it's not relevant but it's not random lol) over this. I handle stress well too. I'm known for keeping a cool head and I don't get stressed easily like this. It hurts :( It really does. Even after protesting to my mother she turned around and told Kayla that she could sleep in the room again. Not only that but Kayla is now calling it "my" room or "our" room. We were not supposed to share at all. The plan was for her to only sleep in there. But now her clothes are coming in and slowly so are her belongings. This isn't fair. I know life is not fair but this is just cruel.... My youngest sister gets her own room and I am forced to share a room with a horrible fiend of a sister. The worst part is, is that my own parents are putting me in this situation even they know it hurts me. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be here, I want to run away or something. *sigh* I'd wait two more years until I can move but I seriously cannot handle her for two more years. She is a vile person. The only place I could get away from her was my room and now I can't even go there for peace. This sucks...

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Cascada

Well, I guess I am back at square one... My dad told my mom that it's cold on the back porch (where Kayla now has to sleep) and he basically convinced her to let Kayla back into my room. o now I feel like my parents are both against me. My mother told me that I should ignore Kayla and kill her with kindness... I am sick and tired of this. You know what's cold? It's not the back porch, it's the way Kayla treats me. I get so stressed that I begin having chest pains (I have a heart condition it's not relevant but it's not random lol) over this. I handle stress well too. I'm known for keeping a cool head and I don't get stressed easily like this. It hurts :( It really does. Even after protesting to my mother she turned around and told Kayla that she could sleep in the room again. Not only that but Kayla is now calling it "my" room or "our" room. We were not supposed to share at all. The plan was for her to only sleep in there. But now her clothes are coming in and slowly so are her belongings. This isn't fair. I know life is not fair but this is just cruel.... My youngest sister gets her own room and I am forced to share a room with a horrible fiend of a sister. The worst part is, is that my own parents are putting me in this situation even they know it hurts me. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be here, I want to run away or something. *sigh* I'd wait two more years until I can move but I seriously cannot handle her for two more years. She is a vile person. The only place I could get away from her was my room and now I can't even go there for peace. This sucks...

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Well now that she is moving in, you need to lay out clear boundaries and rules, Let her know what's her side and what's yours, set rules for when she can be loud and when she can't, and if she attacks you, I say ignore her the first 2 times but let her have that back hand on the third. If she doesn't want to stay in her place, put her in it.

Okay, now time for me to vent haha,
I am tired of being broke! I'm in my first year of university and I know I could expect to be broke, but I don't like it and it's nearly impossible finding a job in the tiny town that my school is located in! I know there are a few options for me to make some cash but there are some hold ups: option 1 is sell art and sewing commissions but commissions are very slow during school season. 2nd option is make premade lolita dresses and the holdup there is that I need money to spend on the materials for said dresses. 3rd option is to sell night wear and lingerie that I make but the same hold up as option 2. Option 4 is being a party fairy/princess... but I need money to make the costumes, and get off the ground. I need to spend money to make money and I don't have any money to spend. The 5th option was to start camming. I thought about doing it to help pay off my loans and nursing school and I know I would enjoy it but I talked to my bf about it and he wants me to keep that as a very last resort as in, I'm drowning in debt and I can't get food last resort and I want to respect his wishes (and not to mention I'd need privacy to make material to sell and when you share a room with a very conservative girl who never seems to leave even when you ask her.. that's nearly impossible)

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Originally Posted by draggersprez

Well now that she is moving in, you need to lay out clear boundaries and rules, Let her know what's her side and what's yours, set rules for when she can be loud and when she can't, and if she attacks you, I say ignore her the first 2 times but let her have that back hand on the third. If she doesn't want to stay in her place, put her in it.

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I can't even do that. If she moves in my parents will most likely scold me for trying to put down rules, when "it's her room too". This is the worst thing about it. I have no control over the situation. I feel like nothing I say or do will change anything and I will continue on this downward spiral. Honestly she could probably break my arm and my parents would place blame on me or not take the appropriate actions. I don't want to disrespect my parents but Kayla does not dude serve a room at all. If she wants to share a room with me her attitude should change. I don't understand why my parents have the physiology of: If Kayla is mean to you, even though your in the same room, even though she steals from you, ignore her for the next two years until you move out. Even thoug Kayla is undeserving of a room and even though she is mean, you can suffer so she can sleep in a room.
It's not even garunteed that I will move out in two years -.- Unfortunatley, I'd move out now if I could. I'm pretty sure that at this point. Even if she stole from me, in two hours she'd be allowed back in. I feel like saying: You know what mom and dad? If you want Kayla to sleep in a room other than the back porch because its cold, let her sleep in your room lol.

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Originally Posted by draggersprez

Okay, now time for me to vent haha,
I am tired of being broke! I'm in my first year of university and I know I could expect to be broke, but I don't like it and it's nearly impossible finding a job in the tiny town that my school is located in! I know there are a few options for me to make some cash but there are some hold ups: option 1 is sell art and sewing commissions but commissions are very slow during school season. 2nd option is make premade lolita dresses and the holdup there is that I need money to spend on the materials for said dresses. 3rd option is to sell night wear and lingerie that I make but the same hold up as option 2. Option 4 is being a party fairy/princess... but I need money to make the costumes, and get off the ground. I need to spend money to make money and I don't have any money to spend. The 5th option was to start camming. I thought about doing it to help pay off my loans and nursing school and I know I would enjoy it but I talked to my bf about it and he wants me to keep that as a very last resort as in, I'm drowning in debt and I can't get food last resort and I want to respect his wishes (and not to mention I'd need privacy to make material to sell and when you share a room with a very conservative girl who never seems to leave even when you ask her.. that's nearly impossible)

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That really sucks :( It seems that you are skilled in sewing? Maybe instead of making full Lolita dresses, start out with accessories, or cute animals with mini Lolita dresses? Perhaps that wouldn't be so stressing on your schedule and schooling?
You could even make gift baskets and sell them around your campus (?) or start selling candy grams.

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Cascada

Well, I guess I am back at square one... My dad told my mom that it's cold on the back porch (where Kayla now has to sleep) and he basically convinced her to let Kayla back into my room. o now I feel like my parents are both against me. My mother told me that I should ignore Kayla and kill her with kindness... I am sick and tired of this. You know what's cold? It's not the back porch, it's the way Kayla treats me. I get so stressed that I begin having chest pains (I have a heart condition it's not relevant but it's not random lol) over this. I handle stress well too. I'm known for keeping a cool head and I don't get stressed easily like this. It hurts :( It really does. Even after protesting to my mother she turned around and told Kayla that she could sleep in the room again. Not only that but Kayla is now calling it "my" room or "our" room. We were not supposed to share at all. The plan was for her to only sleep in there. But now her clothes are coming in and slowly so are her belongings. This isn't fair. I know life is not fair but this is just cruel.... My youngest sister gets her own room and I am forced to share a room with a horrible fiend of a sister. The worst part is, is that my own parents are putting me in this situation even they know it hurts me. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be here, I want to run away or something. *sigh* I'd wait two more years until I can move but I seriously cannot handle her for two more years. She is a vile person. The only place I could get away from her was my room and now I can't even go there for peace. This sucks...

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I hope this isn't odd but have you thought about talking to a school guidence counselor? I mean, if your living situation is so bad you feel like you would rather run away then maybe you need to bring in some sort of third party? There are probably a number of people you could call? It might take someone from the outside to help fix it. You are both teens and honestly, you shouldn't have to deal with this, ADULTS should. You are not yet an adult and should not have adult responsibilities dumped on you (I am refering to trying to deal with your misbehaving sister.) So if your parents won't do anything, maybe someone from school or some kind of social services could? If it is so bad it hurts you I think it would be appropriate.

(Sorry for wall of text ^^; )

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Lunette

I hope this isn't odd but have you thought about talking to a school guidence counselor? I mean, if your living situation is so bad you feel like you would rather run away then maybe you need to bring in some sort of third party? There are probably a number of people you could call? It might take someone from the outside to help fix it. You are both teens and honestly, you shouldn't have to deal with this, ADULTS should. You are not yet an adult and should not have adult responsibilities dumped on you (I am refering to trying to deal with your misbehaving sister.) So if your parents won't do anything, maybe someone from school or some kind of social services could? If it is so bad it hurts you I think it would be appropriate.

(Sorry for wall of text ^^; )

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Hmmm I haven't considered that... I was hoping my parents would be parents lol. However, I am home bound do to my health conditions so I don't really have access to my counsler. Maybe I could call? I mean seriously, Kayla has only been in my room for two or three days and I'm already to this point. At the end of the week I will be a nervous wreck. I am going to have a serious talk with my mom tomorrow... It's ridiculous that my parents are disregarding me so Kayla can be comfortable -.- I certainly don't feel comfortable lol.

This may sound cruel to you at first but why don't you move on to the porch? Use some of your money to make it more habitable/comfortable for you. I know this time of year it will be freezing but I feel that if you do that it may show your parents how desperate you are to be rid of the psycho bitch sister? I had to do something similar when my YOUNGER sister terrorized me.....though eventually we reconciled and are like besties now.

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Originally Posted by JessieMermaid

This may sound cruel to you at first but why don't you move on to the porch? Use some of your money to make it more habitable/comfortable for you. I know this time of year it will be freezing but I feel that if you do that it may show your parents how desperate you are to be rid of the psycho bitch sister? I had to do something similar when my YOUNGER sister terrorized me.....though eventually we reconciled and are like besties now.

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I've been consider this. There'd be absolutely no privacy but it's better than being in a room with her. Sadly I don't think my parents care, I'm starting to think they are doing this to avoid confrontation with Kayla, and they don't care enough about me to do something -.-

It definately sounds like you should bring in a third party to deal with it. In a way your parents are neglecting you so they can favor her. You should look up the local social/child services number and see if there is something they can do. Just make sure to be even more detailed about your sis and parents then you were here, so they can full access the bad situation.

Talk to a counselor, my armchair psychology degree (dr Google, and years of dealing with a narcissist parent) suspects that you may be living in a Golden Child/ scapegoat dynamic. This definitely needs to be discussed with a real professional


Sent from my Shellphone using Tapatalk

I make 7$ an hour before taxes and have been saving my money and have 7K in my checking account and 9K in CDs. I found out today that this coming year I am not covered under county health insurance because I have so much money in my accounts. My primary insurance company sucks* and its now going to cost me 400$ a year for psyotheropy. I know its not that much but still grr. You would think insurance companies would want to encourage you to go.

*before anyone starts with "well Obama said if you liked your insurance company you can keep it", I got off my parent's one this last summer when I turned 26.

so dump all your savings into an IRA, and then sign up for the Affordable Care Insurance. 400 dollars a year is a little more than a buck a day. That's nothing! it cost me over 1,600 dollars to get one tooth fixed, and that was with insurance!

insurance companies don't care if you get better, all they care about is their bottom line and the money they can get to their shareholders.

I agree with pearlie,
We pay nearly $300 out of every paycheck DH gets and healthcare still costs us nearly 1,000 a year


Sent from my Shellphone using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by draggersprez

Okay, now time for me to vent haha,
I am tired of being broke! I'm in my first year of university and I know I could expect to be broke, but I don't like it and it's nearly impossible finding a job in the tiny town that my school is located in! I know there are a few options for me to make some cash but there are some hold ups: option 1 is sell art and sewing commissions but commissions are very slow during school season. 2nd option is make premade lolita dresses and the holdup there is that I need money to spend on the materials for said dresses. 3rd option is to sell night wear and lingerie that I make but the same hold up as option 2. Option 4 is being a party fairy/princess... but I need money to make the costumes, and get off the ground. I need to spend money to make money and I don't have any money to spend. The 5th option was to start camming. I thought about doing it to help pay off my loans and nursing school and I know I would enjoy it but I talked to my bf about it and he wants me to keep that as a very last resort as in, I'm drowning in debt and I can't get food last resort and I want to respect his wishes (and not to mention I'd need privacy to make material to sell and when you share a room with a very conservative girl who never seems to leave even when you ask her.. that's nearly impossible)

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For what it's worth, if you start making some cute lolita lingerie/day dresses, I would love to buy a few. (: (maybe even with a mermaid-themed print..?)

I can totally empathize with being a broke college student. I work a lame mall job to afford going out occasionally/mermaiding/my horse & clothing addictions. All of the jobs that pay a decent wage want you full-time, and these crap jobs don't even feel worth showing up to...

So I know that breaking up with Ryan was the right thing to do.
I just hate that I’m going to be lonely for Christmas again.
I’ve also been feeling lonely the past few days. I don’t really have a lot friends I can do things with and now that I’m not dating anyone I can’t figure out how to fill my time. I know that the loneliness will pass in a few days but until then I just hate feeling so lonely.
I don’t know how to make friends and I really need to figure it out.
No matter how much I tell myself that I’m okay being alone I know it isn’t true.

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Originally Posted by Raayvhen

So I know that breaking up with Ryan was the right thing to do.
I just hate that I’m going to be lonely for Christmas again.
I’ve also been feeling lonely the past few days. I don’t really have a lot friends I can do things with and now that I’m not dating anyone I can’t figure out how to fill my time. I know that the loneliness will pass in a few days but until then I just hate feeling so lonely.
I don’t know how to make friends and I really need to figure it out.
No matter how much I tell myself that I’m okay being alone I know it isn’t true.

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I read this first on tumbler. Im sorry about the breakup. I have trouble making friends too. *hug*. Your welcome to talk to us here, we may not be in person but we will be your friend.

This is just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy little vent, but dear GOD I'm sick of getting the "mermaid school" video sent to me on Facebook. I am very very happy my friends are supportive, but every time it comes up I can't help but think "gah, again!"

Hey Guys :)

After some discussion elsewhere and with admins, we decided this seems the best and most appropriate place to post this comment:

I had a best friend, and we were close friends for almost 10 years.
We worked, played, performed, lived and toured together.
Until one day, really ugly Truth after Truth started turning up.
And I realized two things:
1 - the person i thought was my best friend had been lying to me for our entire relationship (about multiple, deep deep issues)
2 - many other people around me were also realizing the same thing about their interactions with her

After taking some space from her & seeing and experiencing all the damage and destruction she has caused,
I recently found out she is working her way into our mermaid community.
(Quite a shocking move from someone who once told me that she would never trade her dancing feet for fins....
but easier to understand if you imagine that person in your life who moves up however they can, whomever is in the way).
Through a unique set of circumstances, she will be attending MERFEST 2015.
It was only after I found out that she was attending that I decided to make this post at all.

While I believe that everyone has the right to be their self, make their own judgments, and express themselves freely;
I also believe that if you could have prevented someone from being hurt and didn’t at least try to stop it, then you bear part of the blame.

Hopefully this will just be a word of warning and taken as just and only that, but I am willing to take the risk.

This Mermaid Community was there for me when her choices hurt me. You all helped me (even if you didnt even know it!) move on and find something good in the world again.
I feel incredibly grateful, very lucky....and a bit protective of my all around the world MerFamily.
I don't ever want any of you being hurt!

So.
With all of that having been said:

If/When you come across the girl with a rainbow of stars falling over her left shoulder, a heart on her left wrist and a colorful tree on her right calf,
Swim carefully.
The ocean has enough sharks already.

If you have more questions/comments/concerns, please feel free to PM me and we can discuss it further there.

Much Love.

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Meko

Hey Guys :)

After some discussion elsewhere and with admins, we decided this seems the best and most appropriate place to post this comment:

I had a best friend, and we were close friends for almost 10 years.
We worked, played, performed, lived and toured together.
Until one day, really ugly Truth after Truth started turning up.
And I realized two things:
1 - the person i thought was my best friend had been lying to me for our entire relationship (about multiple, deep deep issues)
2 - many other people around me were also realizing the same thing about their interactions with her

After taking some space from her & seeing and experiencing all the damage and destruction she has caused,
I recently found out she is working her way into our mermaid community.
(Quite a shocking move from someone who once told me that she would never trade her dancing feet for fins....
but easier to understand if you imagine that person in your life who moves up however they can, whomever is in the way).
Through a unique set of circumstances, she will be attending MERFEST 2015.
It was only after I found out that she was attending that I decided to make this post at all.

While I believe that everyone has the right to be their self, make their own judgments, and express themselves freely;
I also believe that if you could have prevented someone from being hurt and didn’t at least try to stop it, then you bear part of the blame.

Hopefully this will just be a word of warning and taken as just and only that, but I am willing to take the risk.

This Mermaid Community was there for me when her choices hurt me. You all helped me (even if you didnt even know it!) move on and find something good in the world again.
I feel incredibly grateful, very lucky....and a bit protective of my all around the world MerFamily.
I don't ever want any of you being hurt!

So.
With all of that having been said:

If/When you come across the girl with a rainbow of stars falling over her left shoulder, a heart on her left wrist and a colorful tree on her right calf,
Swim carefully.
The ocean has enough sharks already.

If you have more questions/comments/concerns, please feel free to PM me and we can discuss it further there.

Much Love.

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I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you :( It is such an awful and sad experience when someone you share everything with turns out to be someone they are not.
Unfortunatly i will not be attending Merfest, i wish you a lot of strenght in the time coming.
Big mer hug coming your way! :hug:

Let me start by saying: HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you :)
If any of you were lighting up fireworks, i hope you were all safe!

Unfortunatly i have not been on here much lately. My health has not been the way it should have been :-( and i was very busy at the same time before christmas to get all of our orders out in time.
Something pretty awfull happened last night and i am hoping i can get some opinions from all of you out there cause i am very upset, sad and i am starting to doubt myself.
So in septembre i opened up my Etsy shop. I was so proud that i took the big step (i already wanted to open an Etsy shop for so long but for some reason was terrified of doing so).
My sales have been going well and i have gotten a lot of compliments about my work through private messages, even had some customers buying a second time already since they loved the items so much.
Anyway, last night (yes on new years eve) i got an email from a woman in the US that she was unhappy with her purchase.
It was evening time for us in the Netherlands and i was celebrating new years with my family when i received the message.
The woman was very hurtful in her message to me and i instantly got a stomache ache when i read it.
I got up from the dinner table and went on my families computer so i could reply to her asap.
This is what she wrote me:

I want to return this item...not what I want...looks cheap and dangerous for kids...beads and glitter on cheap wooden stick...they will eat it. How do I return it?

Off course i understand that not everyone will be happy with a purchase but the way she said it was very hurtful to me it felt like a personal attack to the way i design and make my items.
Anyway, i emailed her back on Etsy in the most professional way that i could, letting her know that she could off course return the item if she was not satisfied. Simply trying to help her asap.
I did mention that if she would have told us that the Magic Wand she purchased was for a little kid who puts things in his mouth and eats it i would have told her not to buy it.
I so not have children myself nor do i have motherly instinct but i know not to buy pointy objects for children who put things in their mouths. After i emailed her i went back to celebrating New Years Eve with my family. About 25 minutes before midnight i checked my messages on facebook since my in laws live in the US and they normally write something for new years and i wanted to see if they had already done so. What i saw shocked me....the same woman had also written a very hurtful message on our facebook page for the whole world to see, then also written it as a private message. My heart dropped and my stomache ache got really bad. I literally felt sick to my stomache about what i read. This is the message she posted on facebook:

I recieved a wand today and it is not acceptable....I ordered it thinking I was getting a Harry Potter wand..."w" like I ordered for my other gkids. this one is on a wooden stick with glitter and a few beads and is in no way safe for children...they will eat the glitter, the glue and the beads that are stuck on with glue...I am not crafty but I think I could have done a better job. How can I return it...it is from a foreign country!! I truly thought I was on another website and must have got routed here...


I feel this message was a direct attack at us and very hurtfull. I instantly went back on the computer and looked on Etsy to get her personal email adress and wrote to her a second time. I copy pasted the message from Etsy that i had written to her earlier and than added some more lines in it. I was so hurt and decided to share that with the customer.
I told her that it was very hurtful to read such a message on our facebook page and i also told her it was very close to midnight for us in the Netherlands, to start the new year off with an insult to my work was very hurtfull. I probably should not have written it but i felt beyong hurt and publically himiliated by her. I honestly do not get where her anger is coming from.
In the big message on facebook she wrote that she wanted a Harry Potter wand, which are normally plane brown colored wands with shaped to it. Off course i understand that my Magic Wands are anything but that. However she could have seen the glitter, rinestones etc in the photos when she purchased a Magic Wand. She chose the color "copper" herself as well.
How can it be my fault that she went to our Etsy shop, bought a copper colored magic wand with glitters on it, rinestones etc and then is unhappy that it is a magic wand with glitter and rinestones.
I also explained to her in the first message that we put a lot of time, love and dedication into each Magic Wand and that it is all done by hand. Anyway shortly after midnight me and my husband returned home. I asked my husband to be honest and honestly tell me if my work is really as bad as this woman claims and he told me that it is not.
Isn't it weird that even though you may get 100 or even thousands of compliments that the 1 hurtfull message will stick and will make you doubt everything you do?
If you think the story ends here...then you are wrong lol
So i was back home after midnight and on facebook writing to my in laws (who then called us which was lovely) and talking to a close friend of mine as well.
I then checked our facebook page only to find that this woman also gave us a very bad review on facebook and 1 out of 5 stars!
My husband changed our facebook page since i already am not a fan of the reviews as it is (even though they were all great before this woman got on our page) and he changed it so people can no longer leave reviews on there.
Here is what she wrote:

The wand I got was cheap and dangerous for children. I want to return it...or throw it in trash.

Once again, i do not understand why she is so upset and angry. I replied to her message on Etsy so quickly after she wrote it to help her. What could possibly possess someone to do this? Does anyone here have any experience with situations like this?
She also claims she had no idea we are located in the Netherlands even though this information is in every ad we post on Etsy. She will most likely be very upset once she finds out how much shipping is to the Netherlands.
My mother in law told me to have her ship the magic wand back to her and she will send the wand back to us when she sends us a package from the US and even though in any other case i would have liked that option....this woman was so hurtful that i don;t feel like being all that helpfull anymore with her.
My other question to you all is more like a request: Could any of you please go to my Etsy shop and let me know what you think of my Magic Wands? Could you let me know if the photos do not show that there are glitters on there and gemstones/rinestones?
And if you feel my work is very bad/ugly or anything like that, even with my Earwings, notebooks, stained glass work or whatever...please let me know.

I already realise that one thing i need to work on in the new year is to let go of things. To not take things as personal.
At the moment however i am completly confused and doubting my work. Any advice or help from any of you is most appreciated.
It is 1pm over here and i had the most awful night where i had a headache that started to turn into a migraine and a big stomache as well so for today i am taking a personal day and staying in bed to relax.

I think maybe you could say in the description that they are not really suitable for very small children but after that there isn't any thing wrong with your etsy :)

BLUNT TIME!

That woman has no real basis for a refund at this point. SHE is the one that made a mistake and is blaming you for not realizing what she bought. That is like someone going to a bakery, buying a chocolate chip cookie and then going online ranting about how they wanted a sugar cookie instead saying nonsense about not seeing the clearly visible chocolate chips all in it.

You etsy is GORGEOUS, and those wands CLEARLY show there is stuff on them. Also, she keeps saying she wants to retunr it as if she doesn't know how or was not contacts when you replied within minutes.. There is a chance she actually loves it but wants to keep her money, so she does not ACTUALLY want to return it, she might just be acting badly in hopes you will just give her money back so she can have the product AND her cash. When I worked at kroger I saw this all the time, people would act carpy so that managment would just cave and give them what they want despite it obviously just being so they could get something free/cheaper.

The item was not damaged, the item was shown clearly in pictures, you did not say the items were for children (although, I agree, maybe say in description specifically not fot lil kids.) And it arrived on time and in one piece. If she does not return the item in like-new condition than she has no basis to get a refund, in my opinion.

Your photos are good and clearly show that they have glitter and rhinestones on them. Any person with half a brain would know they aren't suitable for children so young that they would eat them :\

This woman is obviously an idiot, so all you can do is explain yourself (which you have done), offer the refund, then forget about her. Such people don't deserve your thoughts!

Hopefully she doesn't go as far as opening a complaint with Etsy. Even if she does, I'm positive it would go nowhere, but it'd be an extra headache for you.

Screw her! Honestly, if she couldn't be bothered to actually look at the photo, read the description or see that your price is listed in Euros, then she is a stupid, bitter, idiot. The wands are lovely, and obviously not for little kids! What kind of dumbass gives a small child a pointed stick??? And she seems like the kind off person who isn't happy unless she's complaining. Forget her!

Anyone who buys anything handmade on Etsy should remember "caveat emptor", let the buyer beware...she has a responsibility to research what she is buying. I just feel bad for the kid whose mother is such an idiot!

Have her return it to your family in the US and refund her money and be done with the bitch... what an asshole! I've been on Etsy for nearly ten years and have found that you just can't make some people happy. Your best response is to refund and forget her. You are obviously a very sensitive person and you have to develop a thick skin to deal with idiots like her. I know how one negative comment can derail a thousand compliments, but you have to just move ahead and let it go.

Just add "not for small children" and "contains small parts" to your listings. Good luck and happy new year!

Thank you guys soooo much! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes....i really am! :hug:
I agree that it is best to have the extra line about it not being suitable for kids in the decription, even though it speaks for itself it is better to ad it so people can not complain later.
That was great advice!
In stead of being in bed all day i have been working on my Etsy shop for hours now and also changed the description.
I have added the following to the Magic Wands:

"Warning: extensive training needed in order to successfully combat Dark Wizards.

Please note that Magic Wands are not suitable for very small children who still put objects in their mouths. Even though all the small decorations on the Magic Wand are secured very strongly, there is always a danger when small children start chewing on a Magic Wand not to mention all the spells that may accidentally shoot out of them. "

I also had to change all the shipping prices in each and every ad since the Dutch postal service decided to raise all their prices from January 1st :mad:

By the way, my husband and a friend also both said to me that she most likely wants to keep it to either copy it herself or just to keep it for free.
They felt the way she had written and the amount of messages everywhere from her almost make it seem like she does this more often.
I just hope she does not post a bad review on Etsy cause that will make me look very bad :-(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PearlieMae

Screw her! Honestly, if she couldn't be bothered to actually look at the photo, read the description or see that your price is listed in Euros, then she is a stupid, bitter, idiot. The wands are lovely, and obviously not for little kids! What kind of dumbass gives a small child a pointed stick??? And she seems like the kind off person who isn't happy unless she's complaining. Forget her!

Anyone who buys anything handmade on Etsy should remember "caveat emptor", let the buyer beware...she has a responsibility to research what she is buying. I just feel bad for the kid whose mother is such an idiot!

Have her return it to your family in the US and refund her money and be done with the bitch... what an asshole! I've been on Etsy for nearly ten years and have found that you just can't make some people happy. Your best response is to refund and forget her. You are obviously a very sensitive person and you have to develop a thick skin to deal with idiots like her. I know how one negative comment can derail a thousand compliments, but you have to just move ahead and let it go.

Just add "not for small children" and "contains small parts" to your listings. Good luck and happy new year!

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Thank you so much Paerlie Mae! Any advice on how to develop a thick skin? Any exercises i can do for that mentally or anything? I would love to get some thicker skin and not let it bother me as much!

don't worry, one bad review will not ruin you.

I don't want to tell you that you have to develop a thicker skin through experience, because that would just be terrible. Just realize that her entire life is probably miserable and it's not your fault. If you don't care about getting the wand back, refund her money immediately and put her out of your mind. Otherwise, wait until she sends it back. If she lodges a complaint with Etsy, they will see what a dummy she is. She doesn't deserve to have one of your wands!

Wow this woman is stupid... Why are you letting your children gnaw on stuff in the first place?

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Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren

Wow this woman is stupid... Why are you letting your children gnaw on stuff in the first place?

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Because they're beavers!:lol:

Adalira, let me start by saying that your wands (and everything else in your shop; the steam punk ear wings are incredible!) are very beautifully done. The pictures show them clearly.

It sounds to me like you ran into an idiot mom who doesn't know how Etsy works— she clearly didn't look at the picture, and... What is the deal with her bringing up the fact that it's coming from a "foreign country"??? If shed used that squishy mass between her ears to check the shipping information, she would have seen where it was coming from.

This incident and her review reflects more on her incompetence than the quality of your work. Honestly I don't even know how she managed to place an order in the first place without... Apparently looking at anything.

Thank you so much for all of your positive words!
I am still unsure of what has happened with this woman. I checked her facebook page to see if she has been online at all and she has been posting on her facebook page mulitple times since then.
But for some reason she has not read my 2 emails to her or simply dos not want to respond.
I do not believe the woman when she states that she did not look correctly or anything like that since when someone wants to purchase a magic wand they have to choose a color in the order form and she chose Copper #14.
Therefor she did look at something. Maybe she only looked at the options form when she ordered in stead of the actual photo...who knows....plenty of idiots out there.
Last night (i think around 2 or 3 am in the morning) i did write an email to Etsy to let them know what was going on and i included her messages in the email as well.
I also asked Etsy if the woman is allowed to write a review on Etsy with just anything she wants without communicating with me at all.
I am truly thankful for all of the honesty i have gotten from all of you and the advice (which i immediatly took to heart and added the "not safe for children" thing with the magic wands, and if any of you feel i need to add some more info in my ads or if i am doing something wrong on Etsy please let me know.
I am always open to critisism and very much willing to learn.
Thank you again to my merfamily! :hug::mermaid kiss:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Jaffa

Because they're beavers!:lol:

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hey now! That is clearly an insult to beavers. ;)