B!TC# IT OUT!

Wow Lilium, You poor thing, that is rough...seriously rough. Okay, let me think of the best way to put this...

You are a wife yes, but you are not his doctor, you are not his therapist, you are not his babysitter. He has absolutely NO right to drag you down with him. That is incredibly cruel. I Don't care if he is sick, I am sick...I have an anxiety disorder, OCD, and depression and I would NEVER think of doing something so downright malicious to my husband. Even if he does frustrate, and anger, and simply not understand me. Just because a person has depression, does not give them the right to demean or hurt others. I think he needs to be on his own a bit. He needs to take responsibility for himself and perhaps in doing so he can garner some insight into why he does the things he does. If you keep nursing him, he may never really figure out exactly why he does the things he does because he is being enabled in order to continue being well...an ass...no offence. It is incredibly hard for the families of people who have any sort of mental illness to know what to do to help that person. Sometimes it is support, encouragement, a big hug...and other times it is giving the person the space to find themselves and learn to help themselves. I am not saying cut him out of your life for good. I am saying that maybe a separation might be best. If not for him, then for your own sanity.

I hate when people just have a problem with you for no reason. Today when I walked into work, this female (though I would love to call her another name) smiles at me, but when I turned I saw her make this nasty face behind me (she thought I couldn't see but I did). It sounds petty,I know, but ever since she started working there me and her always clashed. I hate having to be partnered with her sometimes. The only reason she is even there is cause she is sleeping with ATLEAST one of the bosses -.- her nasty Kim kardashian looking ahh >> she acts like she is better than everyone else who works there and I hate when she is placed as supervisor. I'm not saying I hope she falls down the stairs and breaks her nose, but I hope she trips on a Lego going down some stationary escalators >> I have never said anything to her and yet she acts like we have an issue. Maybe its because I don't give her attention like all the other guys and I never will

Or maybe she's just dealing with stupid people every day of her life and she takes it out in people unreasonably? People have that same assumption with me. I'm an administrator and technically my position is higher than certain departments but people always treat me like crap and when they ask me "wtf is wrong with you" well geeee you would think that after dealing with a bunch of sexist/Ageist old men that a youn woman trying to stay employed in a male dominated office would get freaking annoyed by all the sexist behaviour and remarks.

And seriously, that last comment? Dont assume women only want attention because they want To get into bed with you.

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Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren

Or maybe she's just dealing with stupid people every day of her life and she takes it out in people unreasonably? People have that same assumption with me. I'm an administrator and technically my position is higher than certain departments but people always treat me like crap and when they ask me "wtf is wrong with you" well geeee you would think that after dealing with a bunch of sexist/Ageist old men that a youn woman trying to stay employed in a male dominated office would get freaking annoyed by all the sexist behaviour and remarks.

And seriously, that last comment? Dont assume women only want attention because they want To get into bed with you.

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I just mean that if I, like the few males who work here, came in everyday, doing her work for her, buying her food, taking over for her while she goes and talks on the phone (which is very prohibited here) then she and I would be best friends. But I'm not gonna do that and she knows it. She has the same position as me yet she gets special treatment. Why? Because she is being...*ahem* extra friendly with the higher ups. This isn't rumor. This is something I know for a fact and I'm not the only one. She comes in everyday, does nothing and gets others to do everything for her and gets paid for it. That's why I hate being partnered with her. She will literally leave to go do whatever while I have to pick up the slack. And I can't complain to the boss because of obvious reasons. So is it fair for me to say she doesn't like me because I don't give her attention? In this case, yes. Because if I came tomorrow and started swooning over her, and doing her work and all that other stuff she would act like we've been friends for life. Sorry to sound b!tc#y but it's true.

so if a guy does the exact same thing and orders people to do his job, what then? is anyone gonna bat an eye if he's sleeping with a female higher up? certain male bosses i know order people around to go fetch them their coffee or donuts and no one bats an eye. coming in everyday and does nothing and gets paid.

just saying from an outside perspective.

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Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren

so if a guy does the exact same thing and orders people to do his job, what then? is anyone gonna bat an eye if he's sleeping with a female higher up? certain male bosses i know order people around to go fetch them their coffee or donuts and no one bats an eye. coming in everyday and does nothing and gets paid.

just saying from an outside perspective.

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She's not the boss. She can't do whatever she feels like nor can she boss people around, it's their business if they choose to follow her commands as if she were but I won't. And yes, if a guy did the exact same thing then he shouldn't have a job. If he is the boss, whatever, but she's not. She's in the exact position I'm in. If I have to do work for myself, so does she. If I can't use my cell while I'm on the clock, neither can she. If I'm not allowed to be away from my post for more than 10 minutes, then tell me why the heck can she be gone for her whole shift and no one says anything? The thing is if anyone else does what she does then they'd get an earful and probably fired. It's simply not fair. And to back up this point, I'm at work right now where someone is actually calling her out on her BS to the boss. Everyone else sees she isn't doing what she is supposed to and isn't getting penalized for it.
I get what you are saying, Siren Glass, but still. My whole thing is simply that she has an attitude at me for not being one of her foot men. I don't get my paycheck from her, I don't get paid double for doing her work, and I don't come here for her approval. She can sleep with whoever she wants, and play her games with all these other dudes out here but I ain't got time for that.

Well if she got called out for it then that's good I suppose. Don't you guys have an HR?

The YMCA where I go raised its day fee from $5 to $12 since the last time I was there. Guess I actually have to join now.

So I found out tonight that one of my friends, who had completely dropped contact with me last year for reasons I don't understand, has been talking to all of our mutual friends about how we totally hang out all the time and do all this awesome stuff together.

In the last eight months I've seen her twice. Both times, we shared light chit-chat about nothing important, and then went on our separate ways. And apparently, she's been lying to people saying that we've been hanging out all this time? What the fuck?

This is hitting me way, way harder than it should be because my social life in the past year has been shit. The number of times I've actually managed to go out and hang out with my friends, I can count on one hand and still have fingers left over-- I've lost count of how many times I've tried to get my friends together to go on some sort of adventure, like we used to, only to be met with "Sorry I can't, I'm busy"... And then within the next few days find photos on my newsfeed of all of these people going out and doing this stuff... without me.

I've been lonely as fuck for the past year, and dealing with my depression, and because nobody seems to want to be around me, all I've done outside of work for the most part has been to hide at home and stare at the internet and not talk to anybody. And then I find out tonight that it's to the point where people who I thought were my 'friends' would rather lie about hanging out with me, than actually try to hang out with me.

It fucking hurts, and because I am the way I am my first reaction has been to blame myself for why things have gotten to this point-- maybe it's because I really am screwed up, maybe it's because I haven't been doing enough to try to go hang out with them... I've got myself convinced that it's entirely my fault somehow, and I'm so fucked up right now over it that I left work early, came home, and have been crying off and on ever since. I don't know what to do.

It's bad enough that I'm trying to get into mermaiding here and there's nobody local to help me out, or try it out with me. I've been feeling totally alone for the longest while, not just about the mermaiding but about literally everything, and tonight's just made everything feel so much worse. I haven't bothered to go to the pool to practice swimming in almost two months because of it, even though I have a totally gorgeous tail on order and in the works right now.

I posted a rant on my Facebook about the situation earlier, and naturally, people-- not all of them the ones I was talking about in my rant, mind-- started coming out of the woodwork with "Oh, I'm your friend, you can totally come hang out with me at this thing I'm doing on [insert date here]!" and... Honestly, I feel so burned and so bitter that I don't know who to trust at this point. Part of me is convinced that these people, who I've barely spoken to in weeks, really are sincere and have just been busy with their lives the same way I have and genuinely want to make it up to me in some way, but... Then there's the part of me that feels like they're only reaching out to me now because they think I'm calling them out specifically in my FB rant (hell, a few of them even suggested that I made my rant specifically about them, when it wasn't the case) and that they're only making contact now because I made them feel guilty, and they need to try and do something to shut me up and pat themselves on the back to make them feel better about it. I'm so skeptical about it all and I feel like I can't trust them no matter how sincere they are.

I don't know what to do. Admittedly I've always been kind of a defeatist, and have been taking this whole thing tonight as a reason to just... give up on trying. Every time I try to make plans with my friends, it crashes and burns and I end up shafted, excluded, whatever. I keep telling myself that if I basically just go silent and stop bothering with it all, the people who really do matter will notice and sort of come around on their own... But I've been so lonely and depressed for so long at this point, that I'm terrified that if I go that route, nobody will come at all and I'll be left totally alone.

I was supposed to be going on a trip to Toronto in September with my boyfriend and a group of his friends who are attending a YGO card tournament there, but as I'm not participating in the tournament (and don't care all that much for kids' card games, tbh) I'd basically have like 10+ hours each day there to kill by myself. I tried to find someone to go along with me, but then it occurred to me... I don't have any friends close enough to go on a trip like that with me anymore. So I opted to drop out of the trip altogether and stay home, because without a friend to go with me I didn't feel like I could justify spending $800+ (that I could barely afford anyway) to go hide in a hotel room by myself for a weekend. Which sucks, because I'm desperate to get off this fucking island because it's honestly killing me to be stuck here, but that's a totally different rant for a different time.

IDK. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know how to even fucking interact with people anymore. All I want to do anymore is hide.

There's probably nothing I can say to make you feel better, but from reading on here, I have the impression you're a very nice person.
Forget about the guys who aren't reliable and just post this and that on FB without ever following it up.
They might not be interested in a genuine friendship, more in a superficial "oh look how many cool friends I Have!"-kind of way.

I know it can get lonely. I wish I had more real life interaction with other mers and more gigs and stuff with likeminded people. That's the result of being stuck in the middle of waterless territory, I guess.

I don't feel quite as alone because there's MN though :)
even if I seldom meet and perform with other mers, there are all on here, and that's great.

Damn you sciatica!!!

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-...80680075-0.gif

Ok, so Saturday my husband was sitting on the porch. Either the neighbor didn't know he was outside, or she wanted him to hear. She starts yelling to her husband that "If those blankity-blank neighbor cats step one foot on my property again, I'm poisoning them!!" Here's the thing: I've had 2 cats disappear already in the 3 years we've lived here. Now I'm starting to wonder what happened to them. The worst part is that my neighbor is completely hypocritical: Her little yorkie spends half its time in my yard, barking at my cats. I've never complained about it, (I mean, dog are dogs, they're gonna do what comes naturally) nor have I complained about all the garbage that their bratty grandkids throw over my fence. I've actually seen this neighbor chase my cats, and she kept chasing them after she was in my yard, and threw garbage at my house!! I have all 4 of my current cats in the house at the moment, but that's not really a permanent solution. I'm about ready to go knock on her door and give her a piece of my mind.

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Originally Posted by Aziara

I'm about ready to go knock on her door and give her a piece of my mind.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5GmBBXywyI

Squirtgun (or long-range supersoaker) full of lemon juice for the dog; video the kids throwing garbage into your yard, then throw it back; video the neighbor chasing your cats and file a complaint for harassment and trespassing, and keep the cats inside.

I've had neighbors who've poisoned cats and the police won't do anything about it.

My cats only go outside when I'm out and they stay where I can see them. Yeah, it's weird, but I've trained my cats to come when I call them. Plus, they're old and not into exploring much.

If it keeps up, go on Craigslist and advertise that there is a free beer party for bikers at her address (just kidding!).

Wow, what a terrible person. And pearlie, that's actually a pretty good idea lol

I'm so pissed today...I'm currently the wardrobe manager for an operetta company's latest production and I have a REALLY hard job, keeping track of 125 costumes, a ton of actors, doing tons of alterations and fittings and last-minute additions and staying up all night sewing and fixing stuff.

So this no-nothing stage hand decides he's gonna flirt with me last night. he's loud, obnoxious, he won't stop TALKING backstage even when we're on live mics for the rehearsal and the stage manager has already told him to shut up. He just apologizes, talks quietly for five minutes, then goes right back to his giant booming voice, talking at actors who are trying to change or memorize lines. His jaw gets more of a workout than his stage hand abilities.

So he walks up to me while I'm doing some fast alterations and starts off with, "Sooooo, you must be one of the costume ninjas!"

I am not "one of the costume ninjas." I am the damn WARDROBE MANAGER. The same way that the director is not "one of the script monkeys." Even after I told this guy I had a (fictitious) boyfriend, he wouldn't stop gabbing at me the whole show.

I don't want to talk to the stage manager and get him kicked off the show, but I kinda do. He's disruptive and loud backstage and clearly has more time to lean and talk at people than do actual work. he keeps telling all the actors "good job, you're doing a good GOOD job" and clapping them on the back after every scene, to their extreme annoyance. They're professional actors, they don't need some dumb stagehand clapping them on the back like it's a little league baseball game.

Plus we are at an outdoor ampi-theatre...any talking backstage on show night will be heard by the audience, and this idiot clearly can't keep quiet. I myself have a LOUD voice that carries, like his. But I make an effort to control it and talk quietly. He gets warned, starts whispering for five minutes, then gradually goes back to full volume. And he needs to NOT TALK at ALL backstage. He has no reason to talk back there anyway! He's treating the show like we're all putting on this very large and expensive production purely for him to walk about and make new friends and get a few phone numbers. Like it's his personal match.com or something.

But I'm new with this company and don't want to complain to the stage manager, whose job is already hard and she's already annoyed with half the stage crew as it is. Maybe I will mention it to the director.

report him.
If he's that obnoxious, everyone else will want him to be gone too, plus no company needs such an a$$.

The neighbor problem is more tough.
What Pearlie said was good counsel, but even all that won't change them and they're plain pains in the behind.
My cats are indoors always unless I walk them.
Many people think they're kings of the earth and lords supreme over life and death of everything that isn't human.
It's not worth risking.
Keep an eye on your pets always!

i had a problem with another guy like that recently. i told him to go back to work and he still comes to bug me. eventually the boss fired him.

If you can get the stage manager and director together at the same time, tell them that, despite your best efforts, you can't get this guy to be quiet during the production, and for the GOOD OF THE SHOW he needs to be reassigned to another position in the front of the house or further backstage. If they choose to terminate his services, it's not your fault.

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Originally Posted by PearlieMae

If you can get the stage manager and director together at the same time, tell them that, despite your best efforts, you can't get this guy to be quiet during the production, and for the GOOD OF THE SHOW he needs to be reassigned to another position in the front of the house or further backstage. If they choose to terminate his services, it's not your fault.

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Thanks Mae, I will talk to the stage manager tomorrow at rehearsals, and then the director if I need to! XD

Btw, I can't find it right now but I LUUURVS your tail-making threads, they're amazing!! I feel so much more confident in making my first tail now!!