Im having body confidence issues.

I ordered my first silicone Mertailor tail and I'm really worried I won't look good in it. I'm 5'6 and fluctuating between 155-165 pounds. I have large boobs and wide hips, and Im not a really large person but I have some extra weight I can't seem to get rid of of. My boyfriend is really worried about me because he says he doesn't want me to change to feel better about myself and says I should love myself. Which I believe is true I just feel like I won't look as beautiful as all those gorgeous mermaids in the pictures like Hannah Fraser and other famous women. They're all very skinny and petite. I dont want to look like I just stuffed fat into a silicone tube and end up looking like a sausage. Has anyone else had these concerns or have any advice dealing with it. 😔

honey if everybody was a skinny mermaid, how boring it would be!

You've got your own style, now let it come through! and no matter what you gotta be you!

me personally i used to be super duper skinny. now i'm getting big because my husband is taking care of me well :P now i love all 120 pounds of myself.

That's how I was. I was 148-154 pounds then after meeting my man and moving in together I've gained a little. I hope I don't gain more and become overweight. I want to look graceful and beautiful in the water.

Some of the most graceful people I know are considered 'overweight' by today's standards.

Maybe I'm just over thinking it.

Today I was called "whale" at my local pool. I called them assholes and kept on swimming, because I KNOW I AM BEAUTIFUL. Would I like to be rid of some extra pounds? Sure. But I am not going to let a bunch of strangers to let me down with their stupid opinions.

I honestly believe that, as with most things, media is to blame. We are bombarded with images of really thin women in most movies, musical videos, advertising, and we all know the majority of people in the world that are not like that. Say to yourself when you are feeling down that even models get Photoshopped.

The problem is not you. The problem is society.

Vanora, please don't be too self-critical. YOU ARE SO PRETTY! When I worked in Hollywood, some of the most beautiful pictures were not of the uber-skinny girls but of the curvy ones instead! It's all in the right camera angles and lighting. Remember, YOU have the ultimate control in the final images people will see of you in your tail. We ALL take pics that are flattering and pics that are frightening! lol Choose the ones you love and can the rest. (Just like they do in magazines, prints, movies etc.)
Look at the wide range of body types on here...each beautiful in their own way and YOU will be too!
SWIM ON MY DEAR!!!!!

Talia, I only WISH I would have been there with you to hear that! Someone would have been wearing a face full of rubber tail on their way home.

Thank you so much everyone! I swear if I heard someone call you a whale I would have drowned them. So rude.
I think I'm pretty. Long hair. Grey eyes. I'm curvy I just wish my curves were a little more defined. I hope my tail looks nice on me. Having wide hips and a smaller waist makes me worry that the silicone will squeeze it all together and make me look like a tube rather than an hours glass. How do your tails fit? Around the waist or hips?

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Originally Posted by Keiris

Talia, I only WISH I would have been there with you to hear that! Someone would have been wearing a face full of rubber tail on their way home.

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Thank you Keiris :hug:

I would have taken "whale" as a compliment tbh.

Whales are beautiful, elegant, streamlined creatures.
Far superior to apes, so yep. Compliment all the way.

Ha! I was thinking the same thing, Echida. Honestly, though, mean spirited comments say a lot more about the person commenting than they do about you.

Mermaiding is not about being the skinniest or the most beautiful. It's about having fun and feeling connected. :mermaid kiss:

I loved mermaids since I was a little girl. I always wanted to be one and as I got older I fell in love with the ocean. I was amazed when I found out I can actually be a mermaid. Who would have thought?!

Being skinny is not as great as some people think. I've gotten called a baby giraffe[emoji13]

I think no matter someone's weight almost everyone has body issues, don't let it get you down. Rock your tail in the water and don't listen to people who go out of their way to tear others down.

People call me 'whale' often, but then I thanks them as I take it as a compliment and tell them that whale are very gentle, elegant and smart beings. Then they just shut up and turn around to find somebody else to bother.

Trust me when I say this that you have nothing to worry about. There are mermaids an mermen of all different sizes an shapes. No worries an if people don't like the way you look then they don't have to look at you, plain an simple. Just be yourself an all will be fine. You are very pretty an humans might just be jealous of you. If that was the case then more than 3/4 of us wouldn't be swimming in tails. So just put that idea out of your mind an do what you love. <3

I have no experience with silicone tails, but from some of the things I have read some people say that the tail makes them look skinnier rather than make them look fatter or oddly shaped.

I saw something Hannah Fraser said on facebook I think it was in response to someone's comment - she said that under water we all look skinnier then we really are because you are holding your breath, etc. Another thing about Hannah is when she was trying out to do some underwater modeling she felt like she wouldn't get the gig because she was surrounded by "tall Amazons". All the girls were tall, beautiful models but once they had to model underwater they couldn't hold their breath like Hannah could. That spoke to me because it sounded like Hannah was a bit self conscious about not being a typical model height, and I used to wish I was taller.

Everyone has some body confidence issue - some hide their insecurities better than others but they are there.

I think you will look beautiful in your tail! :)

I'm 5'7 and 200 lbs, but I don't look it. My measurements are 36", 31", 44" if that gives you an idea. According to my nutritionist, I only need to lose 30 lbs because a lot of it is muscle, but that number is scary. I know how you feel. I'm going to try to get to the weight that my nutritionist said is healthy for me, but I don't wanna be too skinny, because I love my booty, and so does my amazing, Latino hubby. I sometimes wish I had bigger bewbs, but I know God made me the way I am for a reason. All that being said, I used to have a huge amount of body issues. Recently, after a lot of prayer and struggle, I've just come to the point where I really just don't care. Not everyone has the "model" body type. It's just that that's the one body type that's chosen for modeling because there's less flesh to compete with the clothing and accessories being showcased. It's pure science. I've always thought one thing when I see your profile pic on here: "Wow, she's gorgeous." While you may want to be thinner, there are thousands of thin mers who would kill for your curves! I hope that helps. I love your look and I hope you love it, too! :hug:

See, it is this kind of supportive response that helped me get over my shyness and join this community. I am overweight and carry a lot of it around my middle, but skimming this forum I saw a lot of heavier mers who were beautiful and confident and being told as much by everyone else. Like many others I hope to lose a few extra pounds for my health, but guess what a lot of swimming can help you with?

Also, let's not forget that our "blubber" lets us stay in the water longer. I have a friend who is quite skinny and can stay in the water maybe 1/4 as long as I can on warm, sunny day. No way I would have gotten her into the pool today at a mere 75 F out.

Thank you everyone for the kind support! It's incredible to be part of such a welcoming and warm community! I feel a lot better and I hope my tail makes me look even better!

Just think of it this way, you'll slowly lose those extra pounds when you start fish swimming. I dropped down one size in pants and shirt size(size 11, used to be size 12). My size 12 clothes feel a little baggy... I only started just before Christmas last year, so only a few months of mermaid swimming and long walks. Its slow progress but you will get there eventually. The only upper body exercise I do, is stretching and I was gonna say toe touching but I can't reach that far (not flexible), lets just say knee touching! Oh and 30 butt squats a day. I want zat tight arse like Arion...

That's awesome! Good for you! Swimming seems like wonderful excersise. 😊

I feel like I can chime in here cause I'm in the same boat, kind of (185 lbs, 38-33-45, have gained some weight since I got my tail). First, let me say: everyone who says you are beautiful, and you should love yourself and not worry about it, etc. is 100% CORRECT. You are gorgeous- look at your profile picture!- and size really, really doesn't matter when it comes to mermaiding. However, since everyone's already got the ephemeral stuff out of the way, let me give you some practical advice.

- If you're anything like me, you'll pick how you look in a tail apart. Don't bother. When people see you, they're seeing the sum of the parts, and if they're being critical enough to pick you apart, they're not worth your time. People are going to say "HOLY SHIT A MERMAID!" and get all excited. Half the time they won't even register you so much, but your tail. They're not going to worry about minute differences or 'imperfections' or whatever, and neither should you. Just be confident in your interactions and you'll be fine :)

- Everyone looks funky in their midsection in a tail, particularly silicone. If they're fitted correctly and meant to be swum in, they're snug. Take a human, put them in a sitting position, and wrap something around that midsection. There are going to be rolls, pockets, bumps, whatever. This is a human thing that happens, even to the skinniest people. Try not to let it get to you, or get psyched out because it happens! Because it will happen. Don't worry about it :)

- Learn different poses to minimize the bumps. Everyone, of any size, has good angles specific to them- learn to work them! It will help you to be more confident, and make for better pictures if you do photoshoots and stuff.

- If all is lost, photoshop. Even pro mer models' stuff is retouched.

- When photoshop just won't cut it, learn to laugh at the bloopers. They're some of the most fun pictures, in my opinion. (For real- even Lanai's mad photoshop skills couldn't save me in the pics of the last meetup we had. I couldn't get my tail up all the way, and every seated position was unflattering. So I said fuck it and posted the pictures of me jamming hot dogs in my face, cause why not- it was hilarious!)

- Make sure your tail is sitting where it is supposed to. For example, mine is supposed to sit at my belly button- if I can't get it to that location, it doesn't look as good.

- Don't worry if you're feeling insecure about it. Everyone does. You do what makes you feel comfortable. If that's using a longer top to hide the torso to tail transition when you swim, do that! Just don't feel like you HAVE to. I wear short or long tops, depending on my mood.

- What they say about going in warm water is true. A little bit of extra padding is nice, and does keep you a bit warmer.

Hope that helps!

I'll defiantly keep that in mind. I hope once I get my tail I can meet some mermaid/mermen friends who can show me the ropes. 😊 Unfortunatley I live in Connecticut and there's no one here. Though I hear New York...

You should totally come to New York! We've got a great group going here :)

I would love to come to a meet but I don't think I'll have my tail until the end of August. I placed my order at the end of May. And you look fantastic in your tail! It's gorgeous!

Don't worry, we meet up right through when it gets to cold to swim- I'm sure we'll have a get together in September. And thank you, I'm glad you like it :) I can't wait to see yours!!!

I hope to meet everyone in September then! And I cant wait to see mine. I'm stressing, hoping it'll come out like a dreamed. And fit correctly of course.

I hear you. As a mama with hard-earned tiger stripe stretch marks, deflated saggy breasts that were pulled, stretched, and bitten by my babies, short hair, and 50 extra pounds it was one of the hardest things I've ever done to get in my top and tail and out in public. In playing so much with such a beloved icon as the mer it's easy to fall into the idea that they're all the same if they're successful and sexy. But it's the best thing I've ever done for my self-esteem. When I was 18 and 5'9" and 120 I would have looked a lot "better" in a tail. But people were always saying things like, "Your legs are so long, I hate you." Now I'm doing lots better with not giving a bubble. :) You're not alone, and we can totally be hot just being ourselves.

Body confidence is difficult. I'm 4'11" and before I got pregnant I was 170lbs, the biggest I've ever been(non-preg) in my life. 6 years ago I was 130lbs and I still felt "fat" because society has brainwashed me into never being happy with my body. Now I have stretch marks, saggy boobs that point straight down, and my arms are huuuuge. But I do burlesque, and actually did burlesque while I was 7 months pregnant, and I've found that "fake it 'til you make it" is actually kind of working. I'm super self-conscious and down on my body, but you wouldn't know it to see me on stage. And while I'm privately critical of myself, I'm glad when I push through it and perform anyway, because I have these awesome memories and photos too look back on and remind myself that I'm not letting my body-image issues or anyone else's opinion of me keep me from living the life I want to live.


Fat, (almost)naked, and on stage in front of strangers!

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Mermaiding has helped this mamas confidence too. I was 140 when I got pregnant with my first, and now after two back to back pregnancies and almost three years of breastfeeding, I'm sitting at 152. I'm only 5'1" so it doesn't wear well haha. But when I'm swimming, none of it matters. I've been in a bikini more lately than in all my tiny waisted college years. You can learn to love your body and be impressed with all it can do.

Caleno, you are so brave to do burlesque! And you look amazing!

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Strega

Mermaiding has helped this mamas confidence too. I was 140 when I got pregnant with my first, and now after two back to back pregnancies and almost three years of breastfeeding, I'm sitting at 152. I'm only 5'1" so it doesn't wear well haha. But when I'm swimming, none of it matters. I've been in a bikini more lately than in all my tiny waisted college years. You can learn to love your body and be impressed with all it can do.

Caleno, you are so brave to do burlesque! And you look amazing!

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Aww, thanks! It's tons of fun. I haven't performed since I relocated to the UK, I miss my troupe back home.

I think I'm going to get a bikini this year, for the first time ever! The older I get, the less I care about looking "perfect" and the less I care about anyone else's opinion of my cellulite thighs and back bacon.

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I was called a whale nearly every time I went swimming all through school by jealous haters. I mean, here I was swimming with sharks while they were pissing themselves on the shore. Fine, I'll be a whale and they can be guppies. :) And I'll feed them to my sharks, muahahaha!

Everyone gets insecure. You're beautiful and I'm sure your curves will look amazing in your new fin! Thin mermaids look awesome, curvy mermaids look awesome. BECAUSE MERMAIDS ARE AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL. ALL OF THEM. :)

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Originally Posted by Celaeno

Body confidence is difficult. I'm 4'11" and before I got pregnant I was 170lbs, the biggest I've ever been(non-preg) in my life. 6 years ago I was 130lbs and I still felt "fat" because society has brainwashed me into never being happy with my body. Now I have stretch marks, saggy boobs that point straight down, and my arms are huuuuge. But I do burlesque, and actually did burlesque while I was 7 months pregnant, and I've found that "fake it 'til you make it" is actually kind of working. I'm super self-conscious and down on my body, but you wouldn't know it to see me on stage. And while I'm privately critical of myself, I'm glad when I push through it and perform anyway, because I have these awesome memories and photos too look back on and remind myself that I'm not letting my body-image issues or anyone else's opinion of me keep me from living the life I want to live.


Fat, (almost)naked, and on stage in front of strangers!

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Celaeno, I love these pictures!!! I am a burlesque dancer also! Burlesque actually helped in my body confidence. I realized when I got up there on stage and performed, the cheers I got were just as loud, if not louder than the ones the smaller girls got. There are people who like all types out there! And confidence looks sexy on everyone!

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Originally Posted by MermaidAine

Celaeno, I love these pictures!!! I am a burlesque dancer also! Burlesque actually helped in my body confidence. I realized when I got up there on stage and performed, the cheers I got were just as loud, if not louder than the ones the smaller girls got. There are people who like all types out there! And confidence looks sexy on everyone!

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Fat Burlesque FTW! XD

Our director, who also performs, is a very large woman, and men and women alike just go absolutely mad for her. She has charisma and sex appeal off the charts and just owns it. She can be on stage with a half-dozen naked women who look like supermodels, and no one even looks at anything but her.

XD That little comic is so me these days. I got sick of constantly getting badly infected follicles and just gave up shaving anywhere except occasionally my underarms. Still not brave enough to show my stomach, but I'm okay with that.

So, where does one see these incredible looking Burlesque performances?

I performed in Spokane WA, I haven't found a troupe to perform with here in England yet, sadly.

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Originally Posted by Celaeno

Body confidence is difficult. I'm 4'11" and before I got pregnant I was 170lbs, the biggest I've ever been(non-preg) in my life. 6 years ago I was 130lbs and I still felt "fat" because society has brainwashed me into never being happy with my body. Now I have stretch marks, saggy boobs that point straight down, and my arms are huuuuge. But I do burlesque, and actually did burlesque while I was 7 months pregnant, and I've found that "fake it 'til you make it" is actually kind of working. I'm super self-conscious and down on my body, but you wouldn't know it to see me on stage. And while I'm privately critical of myself, I'm glad when I push through it and perform anyway, because I have these awesome memories and photos too look back on and remind myself that I'm not letting my body-image issues or anyone else's opinion of me keep me from living the life I want to live.


Fat, (almost)naked, and on stage in front of strangers!

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IS THAT THE MONARCH FROM VENTURE BROTHERS!? OMG, I'M GEEKING OUT. XD

I love your pics! You're super sexy! You totally own the stage!!

Also, I LOL'd so hard at that comic strip you posted and I'm definitely sharing it on my FB (I'll give you all the credit of course). XD