Fishy sadness and depression

Sooo I decided to post this here because I wasn't sure if it would go here or general...? But I've already decided my (eventual) tail will be from Raven.

I'm super sad because the money I had set aside for my tail I'm going to spend on going to Japan instead. Which i'm excited for.
But this was going to be my first tail and I really wanted to get active with the other mers in my area. I also wanted to start getting jobs locally, like at the ren faire, parties, my summer job, etc. I had designed my tail, got attached, heck, I even made a mersona for it. I wanted to evoke the magic and wonder in children that, sure, I can when I cosplay Merida, but that's someone ELSE's character. And not a mermaid. >_>
I knew I would kick myself if I didn't go to Japan when I had the money to. It's been a life-long dream of mine.
But Raven only gets busier everyday. You don't hear from her as much now that she's big time, and I'm worried that by the next time I have this much money, I won't be able to get a hold of her at all. Or worse...she might take a break from tail making.
I know I want her to do my tail and only her. I would make it but I don't trust myself with a new material and she has absolutely MIND BLOWING skills. Like, I won't pay anyone else to try to make my tail. It's not difficult, but I just can't justify risking paying $3000+ for a tail that if Raven made, would look 10X better and then some.

So I'm guessing I just need someone to play the world's smallest violin for me or pat me on the head while I cry.
lol. :(

The strange thing is... I'm in the same boat as you! Haha. I am also saving up to go to Japan, and I am also keen on buying a performance tail from Merbellas after I have been to Japan and I have the funds again and I'm also worried about her not taking orders anymore once I get my money together for her. It's a big fear I feel is commonly shared between a lot of potential Merbella clients but, in the end we're all being a bit selfish in that way too. Raven does such amazing work, and she is so kind and a lot of people aren't nearly as nice to her as they should be. She deserves a break once in a while and she doesn't get it. I think it would be good for her.

In the end if it came down to her taking a few months off here and there to continue being a tail maker for years into the future or run herself into the ground because she didn't take the rest she needed I'd much rather wait a few extra moths for a dream.

Finfolk has amazing work too..... I mean everyone's entitled to their opinions, but Raven isn't the only fantastic tailmaker out there.

Anyway, all I can think at this moment is the Charlotte's Web song "Chin Up". Haha.

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