What's with the Silence?

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

I'm fed up and I'm taking a stance and I don't wish to be treated like a doormat on this forum. I don't get why people ignore my forum replies or PM's, does it not hurt to take a second to write No or Can't Help.

It's not the first time its happened to me, when I've tried to reach out for help on this forum the proverbial door is slammed in my face.

Why do people on Mernetwork do this?

I don't treat people like that on the forum or in everyday life regardless if my day has been rollercoaster ride.

It hurts when people treat me like this.

I'm lacking a great understanding as to why people behave like this, is there something I'm missing here?

Please explain.

PS - Please have crowd control on your replies this is not a like/dislike situation, I'm after flat out answers is all so I can avoid doing things people don't like, try avoid turning this post into some crazy jungle.

[AniaR]

People do answer most of your threads. But there is no obligation on anyone to give you all the stuff you keep asking for. Most of it can be found in 5 seconds by searching through the forum. No one is your personal database. You aren;t entitled to replies. I find this post really rude. Considering most of your stuff gets a reply or multiple replies within a day. Also, we all have lives. You messaged me like 3 times while I was in the middle of a ten day booking and not on the forum as much. and never once did I invite you to message me and ask me questions privately. Nobody is treating you in any way shape or form. people are just posting on a forum when they have time, and no one should be required to give you all the answers.... you're not paying here for people to teach you how to be a mermaid you know? There are so many resources that we've poured 1000s of hours into on this forum sitting there for free for you but you have these complex questions you think can be summed up in one post.

I think you need to take a step back and adjust your expectations of the forum.

edit: please also notice the fact you've posted more in a few weeks than some people have ever posted in years. Not everyone has the time to spend on the forum that you do.

[Mermaid Sirenia]

1. Most of the questions you've asked are answered in other forums, there is a search icon that you can type in your question and it will show forums that have discussed the topic
2. You recreate forums when you don't receive answers, such as the ones you posted last night. No offense but that gets old.
3. You need to understand people won't be on here 24/7, we all have busy lives outside of mernetwork.

I'm not trying to be rude, but I am being honest. Nobody is trying to be rude or ignore you, the people on mernetwork are like my 2nd family. I'm sure they all will take as much offense to this as I did. I hope your experiences with mernetwork improve, it really is a lovely site

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

Fair enough, I think I'll just step away from the forum for now

[AniaR]

you're more than welcomed to stick around. I can tell you're super excited and enthusiastic. Maybe consider joining some FB groups to also talk about mermaids. It might meet your needs more and there are plenty of groups.

[Mermaid Harmony]

You don't have to step away, just search for what your asking first before posting a question, there are more answers than I have questions on this site, its always worth checking because alot of people answer things in depth in the forums and answering the same question multiple times when you don't have time doesn't always make sense, if the info is already compiled nicely. Also, at least for me, I don't read every new post, I only read things that catch my attention, usually about professional gigs, tail designs, hair and makeup, it's very random that I read much else, and I'm sure many others are similar to me.
This forum is really great, but we aren't on all the time either.

[Elle]

Here I was thinking this was going to be another Doctor Who thread. Yeah, it's not cos there is no love, peeps just be busy. I have uni, a stepson and a house to keep clean. I'm also building my first tail and working. Admittedly I leave myself logged in to it looks like I'm around when I'm not.

But seriously, it happens all the time. I remember commenting on posts and no one would comment after me for like a day or two and I'd be thinking "damn I destroyed the thread." But people eventually come a commenting.

Maybe just slow down on the creating new threads thing. Like the creating new threads and writing in old threads trying to get the same answer. Like with ordering a silicone tail. People have filled you in with the go, saying you have to wait for the to be spots or join the line. But you keep asking, when should I send an email, when will they reply, etc, etc.
People are giving you answers from their own experiences, but you keep asking.

There is nothing wrong with being excited or curious but when it's the same things over and over it can get frustrating for others. I'm not saying loose the enthusiasm...just tone it down a bit.

Breath and think; is there already a thread about this? I have wrote about this somewhere else? Is this where I need to share this?

It's all good, just relax, breath and wait

[MermaidMerida]

Wow some of these responses are actually rude as hell.... I've noticed this too tho like I have been trying to find some Mers in my area via the Chesapeake Pod and I get alot of views on my threads but not a single actual response.... and Im not making tons of threads but the thing is this is a forum people come here to TALK about mermaid stuff not get people ignoring them so to say shes acting entitled and all that stuff is beyond fucked up Im sorry but it is...

[MermaidMerida]

People do answer most of your threads. But there is no obligation on anyone to give you all the stuff you keep asking for. Most of it can be found in 5 seconds by searching through the forum. No one is your personal database. You aren;t entitled to replies. I find this post really rude. Considering most of your stuff gets a reply or multiple replies within a day. Also, we all have lives. You messaged me like 3 times while I was in the middle of a ten day booking and not on the forum as much. and never once did I invite you to message me and ask me questions privately. Nobody is treating you in any way shape or form. people are just posting on a forum when they have time, and no one should be required to give you all the answers.... you're not paying here for people to teach you how to be a mermaid you know? There are so many resources that we've poured 1000s of hours into on this forum sitting there for free for you but you have these complex questions you think can be summed up in one post.

I think you need to take a step back and adjust your expectations of the forum.

edit: please also notice the fact you've posted more in a few weeks than some people have ever posted in years. Not everyone has the time to spend on the forum that you do.

This post right here is one of the rudest nastiest responses I have seen on a forum, Im sorry but YOU need to take a step back and look at how you are responding to people because this shit is unacceptable

[AniaR]

You do realize she's made this complaint 3 times now in different threads? One of them hijacking one of my threads to complain? I haven't said anything rude at all. I've stated facts. If you don't like them that is your problem. This thread was actually moving along fine until you made it dramatic. I'm sorry you also feel people don't reply but the answer is the same: you need to adjust your expectation . don't assume people are ignoring because you don't get an instant response. Why would you assume the worst of people when we've just stated all the reasons why people don't reply? It is a persons prerogative if they want to participate in something or not. You really can't take that so personally. Chill out.

[AniaR]

You're also pretty new to the forum Merida. It might be helpful for you to check out the information section to understand the standard etiquette of mernetwork. And perhaps not be so hasty to judge when you maybe aren't as experienced with what the general operation of the forum is.

[MermaidMerida]

You do realize she's made this complaint 3 times now in different threads? One of them hijacking one of my threads to complain? I haven't said anything rude at all. I've stated facts. If you don't like them that is your problem. This thread was actually moving along fine until you made it dramatic. I'm sorry you also feel people don't reply but the answer is the same: you need to adjust your expectation . don't assume people are ignoring because you don't get an instant response. Why would you assume the worst of people when we've just stated all the reasons why people don't reply? It is a persons prerogative if they want to participate in something or not. You really can't take that so personally. Chill out.

Oh wow no okay the problem I have is your bloody attitude and the tone of your messages which are ridiculously rude and I will damn sure call out bullshit when I see it and yes I know Im swearing but right now I kinda dont care because Im pissed off that people think this kind of crap is okay. Also I dont care how many threads she made she shouldnt have had to make threads like this to begin with! Literally all I have gotten since I started posting here is ignored just like her. I have seen countless responses to other threads just after the thread was made and yet some threads get absolutely nothing its RIDICULOUS. If she has made a few threads in her excitment about this forum who freaking cares? I havent made that many posts and have waited patiently for DAYS and gotten nothing so we are NOT the problem YOU people are.

[MermaidMerida]

You're also pretty new to the forum Merida. It might be helpful for you to check out the information section to understand the standard etiquette of mernetwork. And perhaps not be so hasty to judge when you maybe aren't as experienced with what the general operation of the forum is.

Listen here I will NOT be talked to the way you are coming at me right now, I dont care how new I am you DO NOT get to lecture me or treat me like an inferior or an idiot understand? Also last I checked you arent an admin so you have no right to lecture or correct me

[Mer-Crazy]

This post right here is one of the rudest nastiest responses I have seen on a forum, Im sorry but YOU need to take a step back and look at how you are responding to people because this shit is unacceptable

I don't really think Raina is being rude, then again I kind of know how she is (not personally of course but I watch a lot of interactions on the forum) and I don't think this is rude. She's right. From observations Aurora has been making a LOT of posts, often asking things that have been answered numerous times and to which answers could have been found very easily with a simple search. She'd also ask the same questions numerous times, even after they'd been answered every time. She then complains when people aren't answering her for the fifth (made up number because I can't be bothered to count) time. You're new, so I can see how this may come across as rude, I don't think it was at all, since it's mostly a fact based post, but I think it's more frustration on Raina's part. Which I can understand when you have people constantly harassing you all the time.

Also... that escalated a lot whilst I was typing haha.

[MermaidMerida]

Hmmm heres a novel thought maybe she wouldnt have to make so many if people would actually freaking answer instead of ignoring her! Wow shocking thought I know but its the truth -____-

[MermaidMerida]

I actually dont wanna fight with anyone on here but when I see crap like this it really sets me off

[Mer-Crazy]

Oh wow no okay the problem I have is your bloody attitude and the tone of your messages which are ridiculously rude and I will damn sure call out bullshit when I see it and yes I know Im swearing but right now I kinda dont care because Im pissed off that people think this kind of crap is okay. Also I dont care how many threads she made she shouldnt have had to make threads like this to begin with! Literally all I have gotten since I started posting here is ignored just like her. I have seen countless responses to other threads just after the thread was made and yet some threads get absolutely nothing its RIDICULOUS. If she has made a few threads in her excitment about this forum who freaking cares? I havent made that many posts and have waited patiently for DAYS and gotten nothing so we are NOT the problem YOU people are.

It's actually a problem if she's spamming the forum with treads, it clogs up the forum and makes it very messy, takes up spade, directs people to pointless places when they're looking for information, especially if she's making a lot of threads asking the same questions, often exactly the same just re-titled and re-worded and have already been answered numerous times both on threads she's already made and on other already existing threads.

[AniaR]

You really need to step back and chill out. It is like you haven't understood the reasons why people aren't replying. And please stop inferring tone where there Is none. I am not the one calling names, cursing, and making accusations at others simply because a thread doesn't get an answer. This is the internet.

1. People don't reply to threads that have been posted more than once. ( which she did)
2. People don't reply to threads that are redundant: meaning there are loads of threads already covering all the materials.
3. People don't reply to threads that don't interest them or apply to them: eg why would someone reply to your meet up thread if they aren't interested in one or active on the forum?
4. People don't reply to threads because they simply dont see it as harmony pointed out.
5. People don't reply to threads because they don't have an answer for the questions being asked.
6. People don't reply because they have lives and are busy.

At the very bottom of that list might be people don't reply because they don't like you. And so what? If someone doesn't like you they're doing you a favour by not posting in your thread. It is 99% more likely the rest of the things I listed.

And yes, expecting answers when no one owes you anything is being entitled. Accusing people of 'using you as a doormat' because your thread doesn't get a reply is acting entitled. Being a new member and not bothering to familiarize yourself with the forum etiquette and expecting everyone to just answer everything is very much beimg entitled.

This is mernetwork. I've been here since day 1. Pretty much everyone knows the general etiquette. You're sent rules and links when you join asking you to read the provided links. Because we already put a huge amount of work into providing all this info for everyone. When a person spends more time complaining In a post than it actually takes to click on the forum to get the answer all ready there.... Yes. That's entitled.

Now please. Take a step back, a big breath, and calm down

[Ashe]

I personally think it might be a good idea for us to leave this thread alone. It's all pointless drama started by newer, possibly inexperienced members. We (myself included even though I haven't posted anything beforehand) are getting so worked up over this. I say let the two venture around the forum a bit more and then they may understand how these things work. Maybe they're new to forums in general? Maybe they enjoy stirring things up on the internet? We may never know.

To Merida and Auroraspirit: Do you see how many posts I've made in total? Do you see how many years I've been on this forum? I guess you could say that I'm pretty old and known member around here - but I still often do not get replied to. On my thread about revamping my old tail, its mostly just my updates, and not many people comment. This is fine by me as I know that many people don't know the answers to my questions or updates because I am using new methods. There are a few people who have given tips and thats just about all I need. Plus, the community is growing at an alarming rate, posts get buried and people move onto other things. It's not a matter of being rude, theres just a time and place for each thread to get attention.

[Merfin_Aurora_Oceania]

Dear Raina and Other Mernetwork Members,

I write the following in hopes you may understand the situation from my point of view.

Has anyone taken the time to stop and think, when approaching a situation that is not understood, why do people become afraid?

Is it from a lack of understanding or it from a lack of love?

Take the time to see it from another person’s perspective.

"How would you feel if you approached yourself in the mirror and said hurtful words, would you treat yourself the same way?"

I feel so sorry for people when they lash out on me. Just because you do not know me as a person or my circumstances, does not give you the right to behave in a way that is not from a place of love. I feel that I do not need to justify myself in order to be respected.

Why can’t everyone be respectful and kind regardless of who we are, we come from, what religion or career we do. Aren’t we all united?

I say this in particular to everyone.

"Treat others the way you wish to be treated"

What you give to other's you shall receive, what do you wish to receive today?

I feel like as if people not just on this forum however in everyday life too, fear the light within me and because they find it scary they do or say things that hurts, take the time to think, would you like it if someone tried to disempower you?

In my opinion people who lash out onto others do this because they see the same similarities within themselves.

In truth, what is it that you don’t like within yourself that makes you lash out onto another person? What are you afraid of?

"What can you change within yourself to see yourself in a place of love that you know you deserve?"

Take the time, to stop and think when you meet a person before you act or speak.

"Spoken or Written words are just like weapons, they can hurt and kill."

When you consider this, would you treat to your own family and friends in the same way you talk to other’s?

Even though you do not know someone personally does not mean that you treat them in such a way.

How do you know how that person is feeling or what circumstances have brought them here today.

I feel sorry for you Raina and anyone else whom does not the power of written or spoken words.

"Take the time to love yourself today, give yourself a hug or do something special, everyone deserves to be treated equally, so stand up for yourself today regardless who you are "

"I am unique and I love myself.
What makes you unique? What do you love about yourself?

How would you feel if someone tried to say or act in a way that would make you change who you are?
Would you let others change you into someone who you are not? Regardless if family, friends or strangers"

I hope you choose to listen my words today and think about it.

What difference do you want to make today and how would your actions and words empower others?

Remember the act of kindness is greater than all the words in the dictionary put together.

Thank you for being you.