Performing/modeling as ex-cutter, need advice

**Simone** · 04-23-2015, 05:03 PM

I'm not sure if this is the proper place for this but I'm not sure where to post it. This summer I'm starting to offer my services as a mermaid performer for parties, events, etc along with modeling in my tail. The issue I have is that as a teenager and young adult I was a cutter, so my arms are COVERED in obvious scars, I even have cigarette burn scars. Is it even appropriate to perform in public with my arms showing? I'm ashamed and know parents of children would recognize the scars as self harm scars. what would I tell children when they ask about my scars? Could seeing my scars trigger children to start self harm? Should I cover up with some time of make up or clothing? Any input is appreciated on this subject.

**Seatan** · 04-23-2015, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Simone

I'm not sure if this is the proper place for this but I'm not sure where to post it. This summer I'm starting to offer my services as a mermaid performer for parties, events, etc along with modeling in my tail. The issue I have is that as a teenager and young adult I was a cutter, so my arms are COVERED in obvious scars, I even have cigarette burn scars. Is it even appropriate to perform in public with my arms showing? I'm ashamed and know parents of children would recognize the scars as self harm scars. what would I tell children when they ask about my scars? Could seeing my scars trigger children to start self harm? Should I cover up with some time of make up or clothing? Any input is appreciated on this subject.

I am NOT fond of the "trigger" obsession the internet is currently going through where you have to disclaim every possible thing as a "trigger." It is way overused and has gone FAR beyond the real psychological meaning which referenced people with severe PTSD. NO, I don't think your cutting would trigger ANYONE to cut who wasn't already considering cutting--it is not your job to hide your past to try and protect people who are dealing with their own mental issues. You might consider wearing bracelets or jewelry to sort of distract from them, but I wouldn't let it stop me. Be proud that you have moved on from that difficult part of your life and do what you want. If you're really brave you could even use yourself as an example of how sometimes things are so tough that it feels like hurting yourself is the only way to feel better, but you've found that it's just a lie that your mind is telling you and that you CAN overcome things without self-harming, it just takes strength and courage. I don't think there are ENOUGH examples of people out there who have overcome the need to cut, mostly because people tend to hide it due to embarrassment. You could be a good role model.

**Elle** · 04-23-2015, 05:21 PM

Children may or may not recognise them. My stepsons mum has them all over her arms, and he has no idea what they are, but they've always been there for him, so he doesn't know any different. Adults tend to recognise these things more than children do.

Seavanna is right, triggers are for people with PTSD. A child is probably not going to see them and that's automatically going to be a choice they make.

If you want to hide them for yourself, I'd suggest braclets, bracers or something. Or get creative with decorative netting and make a netted jacket.

**Simone** · 04-23-2015, 05:53 PM

Thank you so much for the input, I feel less ashamed of my past now

Bracelets and netting are wonderful ideas and would be great additions to my persona. You guys are right, I can turn my past into something positive for people to see

**BayouMermaid** · 04-23-2015, 06:27 PM

Scars are nothing to be ashamed of. Scars show healing! It means that you got though it. Chances are that kids won't notice, or if they do, they won't understand.

**Echidna** · 04-23-2015, 08:46 PM

If you're worried about scars showing, you have several options.
Using waterproof makeup to turn them into scales, for example.

You could also consider using a tight, sleeved top.
I have several made to match my tails, mostly because I freeze quickly in cold water.

**AniaR** · 04-23-2015, 10:30 PM

my sister was a cutter (mermaid Ama) and she just wore lots of bracelets to cover them up around kids. As far as photos go you can just be upfront with a photographer and they'll edit them out for you easy peasy. I know full time models with scars who just have em edited out. Fashion models!

I do think it's best to cover them up personally (speaking as someone with a degree in child and youth development, an ece, a teacher, and a degree in elementary education) , because whether kids know how they're caused or not kids do notice that they're scars/an injury and despite any context (it could of just been an accident or surgery etc) developmentally- kids can't always grasp that stuff and process in ways differently than adults (not an opinion, studied fact) so you dont have to feel bad or ashamed. But it can be traumatizing to kids so it's important to take that into thought and consideration. So please don't take that as "scars are bad I have to cover them" but rather "this can be confusing and scary to kids so it has to be handled carefully and we must remember kids are all different and not mini adults!" type deal

**mermaidrobynn** · 05-26-2017, 07:42 PM

I doubt this is still relevant since I can't see the date this was posted here for some reason but you could always make up a story if a kid sees it and you don't want to go in detail like "oh that? Well you see, I have a pet shark and we play a lot, but just like your land dogs he bites softly if he gets exited" or something like that

**.MermaidSophia.** · 05-26-2017, 11:17 PM

if a child points them out you could always say that you got them by fighting off sharks from attacking drowning sailors?

Edit: ^ yeah just like she said right before me ^J^. same concept, make it part of your story!