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Thread: Advice for Telling Family about Wanting to do Mermaiding + General Anxiety?

  1. #1

    Question Advice for Telling Family about Wanting to do Mermaiding + General Anxiety?

    Hello everyone~ I'm a new mer who just joined the forum today (my introduction post keeps getting denied for some reason...so I figured I'd skip it for now I guess.) Anyway, I bought a FinFun Rainbow Fish tail and monofin (oof, that advanced monofin pro is tight lol). However, I haven't actually told my parents about my wanting to do mermaiding, or having bought a tail.

    I have a lot of general body anxiety and anxiety about telling my family. I don't think they'll kick me out of the house or anything, but I know they'll think it's weird. My family was at Sea World this year, and FinFun partnered with Sea World and was selling stuff there. They had a video playing of people mermaiding and my dad said it was weird, which has only increased my anxiety.

    I think I'm worried about...part of me being denied? Like, them finding it odd or questioning my wanting to do it would be like they were going against part of who I am. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I think you all get what I mean. The thought of me telling them and them giving me an odd look or really anything but approval terrifies me so much I get physically ill thinking about it. Also, I'm 18+ so they can't exactly tell me no, but my family is really close so their approval is important to me, and I live at their house (also I'd have to use their car). My sibling knows, and would be up for going to pools with me and is totally supportive.

    Similarly, my body issues make me terrified of using a public pool. I don't like people looking at me all that much, and if I were using a monofin or tail, that's going to attract attention. I've watched Courtney Mermaid's and Nerdmaid Faith's video about pool anxiety multiple times (great video that I definitely recommend), and while they make good points about people being more focused on themselves than strangers at the pool and what not, I just can't not think people are staring at me even when I know they probably aren't (plus having a monofin or tail amps up the odds someone actually is looking at me).

    Basically I'm a bundle of stress and anxiety and have been ever since I decided I wanted to do this LAST SUMMER. I've been holding back that long due to this stress, and I really want to stop being this stressed, I just don't know how. I've went on a diet and have lost 50 pounds already, and that has helped my anxiety a little bit, but not much. Any tips, advice, other's experiences or really anything is appreciated!

    (Also, if this isn't in the right section, please move it! I'm still figuring out where everything goes |D).

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pod of Oceania Mermaid Jaffa's Avatar
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    Tell them mermaiding is good exercise. It strengthens the body, soul and imagination. A great way to keep fit.

    Its relaxing. When I mermaid, I forget all my worries and just enjoy myself. I become the grumpy Mermaid Jaffa, who swims away from humans and keeps to herself. I also "find" treasure aka clean the bottom of the pool! My best find so far, was $5.00 note gently floating about in the water!

    And its much more fun than swimming normally up and down the lanes!
    Formerly known as ireneho

  3. #3
    I have some medical problems so I need to strengthen my core, which mermaiding would definitely help with, so I think the exercise angle is a good thing to mention to them. I'd love to find money in a pool XD. Thanks for the suggestions~

  4. #4
    Crystal I would suggest you look at training (do you have a dive shop near you)? that offers swimming or mermaid classes? This way you will have a trained professional keeping an eye on you while you get stroner and more confortable with the monofin. Training in the pool inspires confidence and will help with your anxiety in the pool, the class itself will help you make friends and you will have a pod to swim with (these classes have a wide mix of ages, body shapes etc. so you will not stand out. while you work to get your anxity under control, When you and your friends do a meet up somewhere, the more friends you have with you to mermaid with in public the less your anxiety is likely to be). One other thing, never let anyone shame your body to the point you believe them! it's your body and you're beautiful! period! Anyone that trys to tell you diffrent hates themself and the world around them so they have to make everyone else suffer too. they are the ugly ones not you.

  5. #5
    I do have a dive shop fairly close, though it only does scuba diving lessons and underwater photography lessons, so I'm not sure how useful the scuba lessons would be for mermaiding? I suppose it would be better than no training at all at the least. I wish they had free diving courses or mermaid classes.

    Thank you for the kind words. For the most part, other than some minor bullying, people don't usually shame me directly, it's more of me shaming myself, probably in part due to expectations of female's appearances in media, so it makes it hard to escape the mentality, you know? I'm trying to work on my self-confidence, but it's a really long and hard process when you've disliked yourself for as long as you can remember.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Pod of Oceania Kwilena's Avatar
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    Underwater photography lessons would make you VERY popular with other mers and would also increase your confidence underwater. I am not anyone's ideal (except maybe Nyola's) body shape wise, but when a slim, young and beautiful lass came up to 50 year old weighty me (she was a beginner mermaid, I'd been mermaiding a couple of years) after I'd done some underwater moves, enthusiastically saying "So graceful! So graceful so beautiful, that looked amazing, I want to be just like you, I want to do that!" it was pretty confidence boosting.
    People will also look at your beautiful tail, not you.
    Well, I'm feeling pretty swish!

  7. #7
    Yeah, I was definitely considering the photography class. I think it's 100% on land and a classroom setting without actually going underwater, but regardless, it sounds really helpful. Awww, that does sound very confidence boosting. And as others have said on here, you're perfect the way you are too! So far this community has been very welcoming, and I greatly appreciate that . I mentally equated "my tail = me" but I suppose that my tail and me aren't really the same, so you bring up a good point about them not looking at me myself so much; that definitely helps.

  8. #8
    I feel you hunny. I looked at mermaiding a year ago and it was courtney I seen first too. I sat on it for a year and decided this was going to be my hobby. I love swimming and hadn't been for years. I too am the only person I know about that does mermaiding in my town but there is a pod about 20 miles or so from me so gonna try and meet up with them one evening for a swim. I'm a big girl too and my anxiety went through the roof when I started at my local pool. I generally keep myself to myself and going to the local pool I can also work on my tricks. I'm currently doing mermaiding lessons and I'm the only one doing them too lol which I just think I'll get 1 to 1 learning with my teacher Laura. I will be doing some scuba and freediving lessons after this too. What makes it more exciting is I've nearly got the money saved for a mertailor monofin and tail skin so will be ordering them soon, another think that is keeping me occupied mentally is I'm making my own tail for my Luna monofin which I've loved doing and I'm on painting now, still got a way to go put it's looking good if I do say so myself, and im currently battling with my local pools to lift the monofin ban which is a challenge but im up for it. When I first told people I was mermaiding, some laughed at me and some were really interested. I have fibromyalgia, so any other exercise pains me badly, but being in the water and mermaiding has been fantastic for not only fitness but helped me so much mentally too. Its is also an expensive hobby but my hubby has been so supportive. We are all always here if you need help and guidance xx

    Sent from my [device_name] using MerNetwork mobile app

  9. #9
    Thank you all for all of your kind words. I too really like swimming, but I haven't been swimming for at least 8 years or something just due to not living near water. I actually had a friend who did mermaiding, so I tried to go with her, but it never panned out. Yes, the anxiety about going to a pool in general when one is "not particularly thin" is immense, let alone with a mermaid tail drawing attention. I hope to maybe use the lanes so maybe several of the people there would have some sort of fin and I look less out of place. Who knows, maybe someone there could assist me doing the dolphin kick since I just have YouTube videos to go off of XD. Granted, that'd require being outgoing enough to ask them lol.

    Though I just joined the forums, I've been a lurker for almost a year now, so I've seen you talking about your tail progress! I hope it all goes well. It's looking like it's off to a great start.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Crystal Mermaid View Post
    Thank you all for all of your kind words. I too really like swimming, but I haven't been swimming for at least 8 years or something just due to not living near water. I actually had a friend who did mermaiding, so I tried to go with her, but it never panned out. Yes, the anxiety about going to a pool in general when one is "not particularly thin" is immense, let alone with a mermaid tail drawing attention. I hope to maybe use the lanes so maybe several of the people there would have some sort of fin and I look less out of place. Who knows, maybe someone there could assist me doing the dolphin kick since I just have YouTube videos to go off of XD. Granted, that'd require being outgoing enough to ask them lol.

    Though I just joined the forums, I've been a lurker for almost a year now, so I've seen you talking about your tail progress! I hope it all goes well. It's looking like it's off to a great start.
    I've really surprisedyself. My sewing skills aren't the best but I think I've done really well

    Sent from my [device_name] using MerNetwork mobile app

  11. #11
    Before you do something that is stupid: Underwater Photography is usually a so called "specialty" - which means it is an extension a "normal" diving license like the "Open Water Diver" which is a requirement. So you need a basic scuba course first. For example in SDI (PADI is similar):

    https://www.tdisdi.com/sdi/get-certified/ (chart of dependencies - the right area are the specialties)
    https://www.tdisdi.com/sdi/get-certi...r-Photography/ (Photography)

    BUT:

    If you have a friend who is having an underwater camera and a diving license, you may make some good images in open water. Please note that you both need to know how to handle dangerous situations and be able to communicate using signs.


    I think it still makes sense is do a diving course because you also learn stuff about pressure which may be interesting to you as well.

  12. #12
    Thanks for the heads-up! The way the photography course near me is worded, it isn't clear if it actually gives you any certification or not. I know you go underwater once, but there is no scuba equipment involved, and nowhere does it talk about a certification. So I have no idea XD. But because I had no idea, I wasn't sure if I was gonna do it or not anyway. With what you said, I'd probably do a scuba course first or at least contact them and ask if there's any prerequisites required. Thanks! Regardless, I agree that a general scuba course would be beneficial in that I know little about pressure or underwater signs. Also, yeah, I don't have a friend who has a diving license or knows how to use an underwater camera lol. The only water I live near is a large river, and people don't tend to dive in it.

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