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Thread: Thoughts?

  1. #1


    So I have been with the same person for two years I live with him his two brothers, his sister, and his mom in arizona. I am originally from nebraska and miss my family and friends ALOT. It would be easier if I was able to actually talk to them but whenever I do he begins to act all weird (mainly because he thinks I'm cheating when I'm not, he's already accused me of it twice and is convinced i did those two times even though I didnt) so i never use my phone I havent talked to my friends in about 10 months, i email with my mom alot but even with that he gets super suspicious. we also have a cat and three dogs. i love him to death but i really want to be back in nebraska but if i bring it up to him he gets all pissy and if i did move back i would lose him the cat and dogs and i DONT want that to happen... any ideas?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod Trade Winds's Avatar
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    Mar 2014
    Do you want to be happy and to see people, or do you want to be sad and never see them again? Put YOU first. The guy sounds controlling. You can tell me all you want that he isn't but nobody is going to believe that. Don't give me any of that I'm scared to leave him crap. Women often think there is no way out or they are screwed or that they can't live without someone. Well, you can. Leave. Walk out. Move away. You allow the mental blocks to put into place, believing you can't do X. Overcome that and do what's right.

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Euro Pod Echidna's Avatar
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    Apr 2013
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    Talk to him and explain yourself the same way you did here.
    If that doesn't work and he gets annoyed, that means he isn't a person you should be with and once the initial emotion wears off, it will become a nightmare.
    Which of the dogs/cat loves you the most? Take that one (or two), pack your things and get the hell out of there.
    (assuming you are in on the ownership; otherwise you'll probably have to cut your losses)
    Last edited by Echidna; 07-02-2019 at 09:43 AM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Pod of The South Slim's Avatar
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    Jan 2017
    Sorry for going straight to the point, you’re going to eventually move out from there. You’re going to hit a depression sooner or later the longer you stay there. You can try talking to him. Without the support of your friends and family, you will no longer have the same personality you had when you both fell in love. It’s time to reclaim your life back.

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Pod of Cali Merman Storm's Avatar
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    Jan 2016
    Simi Valley, CA
    One wonders how much he really loves you if he is unwilling to listen to your concerns and work on ways of accommodating them.
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    Let the storm rage on!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Pod of Cali PhaylennMurúch's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
    San Francisco
    100% you are being controlled here. He is systematically isolating you, making you completely dependent on him for companionship. This is a form of abuse and will only get worse. I speak from personal experience here. He doesn't see you as a person, as someone he loves, but as someone he owns
    It'll be hard but you need to get away from Arizona, go back home and regroup away from the severely unhealthy dynamic
    Take the wave now and know that you're free
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  7. #7
    Junior Member Walphish's Avatar
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    Jul 2019
    On the wrong side of the ocean


    Please listen to what others have said. I know how hard it is to just take that stuff in, let alone do something about it. Just know that you have our love and support; that’ll help you get through anything if you let it (which is also hard, I know). Wishing you the best.
    Ma ki ga walphish irs ar ciel~

  8. #8
    Thank you all for your input! In early November three of my best friends drove from Nebraska to Arizona to get me.I am now home and happy. I haven't heard from him since and am now dating my best friend. I couldn't be happier with where I am now.

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  9. #9
    So glad for the happy update! Congratulations on getting your life back!
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    That was her magic, she could still see the sunset, even on those darkest days. - Atticus

  10. #10
    Yay!! So happy for you!!

  11. #11
    Oh dear, I am sorry to tell you this my friend but you are in an unhealthy relationship. How can you live peacefully if trust is missing? I suggest you go on counseling as it is not right for you to cut your relationship with other people especially with your family because of his unreasonable suspicions.

  12. #12
    talk to him about what you feel, if he really loves you then he will understand.


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