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Thread: Thoughts?

  1. #1

    Thoughts?

    So I have been with the same person for two years I live with him his two brothers, his sister, and his mom in arizona. I am originally from nebraska and miss my family and friends ALOT. It would be easier if I was able to actually talk to them but whenever I do he begins to act all weird (mainly because he thinks I'm cheating when I'm not, he's already accused me of it twice and is convinced i did those two times even though I didnt) so i never use my phone I havent talked to my friends in about 10 months, i email with my mom alot but even with that he gets super suspicious. we also have a cat and three dogs. i love him to death but i really want to be back in nebraska but if i bring it up to him he gets all pissy and if i did move back i would lose him the cat and dogs and i DONT want that to happen... any ideas?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod Trade Winds's Avatar
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    Do you want to be happy and to see people, or do you want to be sad and never see them again? Put YOU first. The guy sounds controlling. You can tell me all you want that he isn't but nobody is going to believe that. Don't give me any of that I'm scared to leave him crap. Women often think there is no way out or they are screwed or that they can't live without someone. Well, you can. Leave. Walk out. Move away. You allow the mental blocks to put into place, believing you can't do X. Overcome that and do what's right.

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Euro Pod Echidna's Avatar
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    Talk to him and explain yourself the same way you did here.
    If that doesn't work and he gets annoyed, that means he isn't a person you should be with and once the initial emotion wears off, it will become a nightmare.
    Which of the dogs/cat loves you the most? Take that one (or two), pack your things and get the hell out of there.
    (assuming you are in on the ownership; otherwise you'll probably have to cut your losses)
    Last edited by Echidna; 07-02-2019 at 09:43 AM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Pod of The South Slim's Avatar
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    Sorry for going straight to the point, you’re going to eventually move out from there. You’re going to hit a depression sooner or later the longer you stay there. You can try talking to him. Without the support of your friends and family, you will no longer have the same personality you had when you both fell in love. It’s time to reclaim your life back.


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  5. #5
    Senior Member Pod of Cali Merman Storm's Avatar
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    One wonders how much he really loves you if he is unwilling to listen to your concerns and work on ways of accommodating them.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Pod of Cali PhaylennMurúch's Avatar
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    100% you are being controlled here. He is systematically isolating you, making you completely dependent on him for companionship. This is a form of abuse and will only get worse. I speak from personal experience here. He doesn't see you as a person, as someone he loves, but as someone he owns
    It'll be hard but you need to get away from Arizona, go back home and regroup away from the severely unhealthy dynamic
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  7. #7
    Junior Member Walphish's Avatar
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    Thoughts?

    Please listen to what others have said. I know how hard it is to just take that stuff in, let alone do something about it. Just know that you have our love and support; that’ll help you get through anything if you let it (which is also hard, I know). Wishing you the best.
    Ma ki ga walphish irs ar ciel~

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