Vent about your health

**AniaR** · 08-01-2012, 08:15 PM

I need to vent about my health. I figured others might enjoy the freedom to vent to! This is a judgement free thread where you can be selfish and just vent vent VENT. I know I will. lol
The things I need to do to stay average healthy is like a freaking full time job. If anyone else worked as hard as I do and was a normal healthy person they'd have a freaking amazing body. But no, I work this hard to simply have some pain free hours, or some experiences that normal people get to have and I dont because of pain. Just feeling cranky because my body crashed today and I just cant do what I had set out for myself.
I have 2 incurable illnesses that cause chronic pain and weakness, as well as insomnia. I've been doing physio therapy- stuff that would be easy for most, and it's hard and depressing and makes my body ache. Hard to stay positive when you gotta face all these mountains! I know I'll come around, just feeling down today

**courtneymermaid** · 08-01-2012, 08:23 PM

Oh Raina! Mermaid hugs! I'm sending happy thoughts your way! I know it can be hard to deal with chronic health issues, I deal with a few of them myself on a daily basis. It definitely helps to vent and just get the emotions out of your system.

I've been following your tumblr too! I'm not on tumblr yet, but if I ever get my lazy mer-bum into gear and sign up I will definitely follow it officially! Ha ha!

**happyguava** · 08-01-2012, 08:24 PM

Great idea. I was thinking yesterday I need a good vent :P

I don't want to go into details but I've had a chronic mental illness for 6 years now. I've been misdiagnosed, rediagnosed, pushed and pulled from doctor to doctor and nothing is getting better. I'm at the point where I'm exhausted, I'm just really, really tired of having to deal with it every single day, trying so hard to improve and just feeling stuck. I want to be normal, dammit!

Venting feels good

**Blondie** · 08-01-2012, 08:32 PM

Apparently, just the other day I had woken up and gone to work with, what I thought was a kink in my neck. But as the day progressed I felt my neck and it felt like I had two golf balls stuck on the side of my throat. I had to go to the doctor and then I had to get an ultrasound of my throat.
So I just got a call from the doctor yesterday about it and they said my thyroid had a "complex nodule" they couldn't tell me anymore but I needed to see an Endocrinologist very soon. I looked it up and it can vary from cyst growth on my thyroid to cancer growth :|

Funny how it started from a "kink in my neck" to this...

**Princess Kae-Leah** · 08-01-2012, 08:44 PM

I feel ya girl! It's so hard for me sometimes to stay positive and look on the bright side when I have such health issues. One reason why I got into meditation is I'm a pretty tightly wound person, who gets offended and frustrated easily and sometimes I just need to CHILL. I've been gaining weight even though I haven't really been eating that badly, or at least no worse than usual, and I'm positive stress has a lot to do with it. Last time I weighed myself I weighed nearly 200 pounds, which is like at least 15 pounds more than then my normal, happy weight. I hate it, because not only am I concerned about my health(one reason why I got into doing leg exercises in the tub, which is awesome since I have a pretty big tub, almost the size of one of those little plastic kiddie pools), I feel like a hypocrite since I promote a certain kind of diet for health and environmental reasons and I feel no one would take my advice seriously if I were overweight.

I have pretty low energy levels, it's gotten to the point where I can barely walk around a big box store or mall without needing a wheelchair. My sensory issues are pretty out of hand, I hardly leave the house anymore since I don't want to be around chemical and food odors.

Although not a health issue per se, my asexuality is such that the sight and thought of certain sex acts and body parts makes me feel physically ill and I feel bad about that since well, it's so politically correct to be sex-positive and body-positive nowadays, and it's hard to feel positive about something that makes me queasy. My periods aren't the worst in the world, but I still hate them, and I hate being reminded physically that I am not PHYSICALLY an asexual being, which is what I wish I was. I just don't see why I need to have genitals when I'll never use them, I guess I'm sort of like transgendered ppl that way, except I wouldn't mind sometimes having *no* physical gender.

I think the most frustrating thing though about having health issues is feeling like you alienate your friends by complaining about it, and coming off like I want everybody to just totally kiss my fish butt catering to my every whim. I think I sometimes come off as a manipulative, demanding bitch who wants everything to always be my way and doesn't appreciate all the good things I do have in my life. It's hard for others to understand that being around certain scents, foods, and even sexual stuff sometimes is seriously bad for my physical and mental health. I wish it wasn't so, believe me. The last thing I want to do is make people feel uncomfortable, or offend others in any way. I very much want people to like me and enjoy my company, but it's so hard!

Raina, BTW, I've been trying to get your attention lately as I'm curious what your opinion is regarding me getting into meditation, as well as me doing leg lifts in water for exercise. You were definately an inspiration for me to give some form of water therapy a chance, as I can see how you have serious health problems but still get into the water and swim. I'd love to get into water-walking, but I've decided going to public pools isn't for me as I'm very sensitive to chlorine and due to being asexual, I don't feel comfortable around strangers in Speedos, which I know sounds like such a body-negative thing to say, but I can't help that I was born this way that seeing the outlines of genitals in person makes me feel queasy.

**Blondie** · 08-01-2012, 09:12 PM

@Kae-Leah
Have you ever tried playing Wii Fit? I'm so not an exercising person (besides dance and swimming) But I'd rather eat rusty nails than run... But Wii Fit apparently is great for people who don't want to be crazy active. It's pretty simple too and it's a lot of fun to play all the games. I'd totally recommend it.

**AniaR** · 08-01-2012, 09:08 PM

I don't want to go into details but I've had a chronic mental illness for 6 years now. I've been misdiagnosed, rediagnosed, pushed and pulled from doctor to doctor and nothing is getting better. I'm at the point where I'm exhausted, I'm just really, really tired of having to deal with it every single day, trying so hard to improve and just feeling stuck. I want to be normal, dammit!

I have done more for my health than any doctor. I have NEVER been wrong, but they still treat you like a hypochondriac. I got myself diagnosed with both of these, went in and said "please test me for ____" got a reply "nah" insisted, and turns out, yep I've got them both. Im the one who looked up the best meds, I asked for physio, nothing was done for me. it frustrates me because I wonder if I'm missing some essential part of dealing with this simply because the doctors seem to know nothing about my illnesses!!! I am really tired, just like you. I sometimes have days where I seriously pretend Im not sick. I ignore every damn symptom. But if I dont 'baby' myself and be careful I end up feeling terrible.

Funny how it started from a "kink in my neck" to this...

Im sorry you're going through that must be so scary. if it makes you feel any better, when I looked up my issues they can lead to cancer too but thankfully not for me. So Im sure you're just having a weird node issue. please keep us posted though, sending you positive vibes.

I think the most frustrating thing though about having health issues is feeling like you alienate your friends by complaining about it, and coming off like I want everybody to just totally kiss my fish butt catering to my every whim.

It's all about self moderation my deal. You need to vent, but not only do we alienate people when we vent too much, we actually physically and mentally bring ourselves down. I give myself a window of time, or a certain context (like this thread) to have pity parties. After that and outside of that I buck myself up and try to be positive or at least focus on a plan. Otherwise you end up in a rut.

**Felicia** · 08-01-2012, 09:29 PM

I'm glad that you started this Raina it's nice to be able to vent sometimes
My health is always a struggle both mentally and physically because I was born with a heart defect that causes my blood pressure to be very low so im always cold and even the slightest change inmy blood pressure will make me very dizzy or even pass out, I have photosensitivity(which is horrible), and on top of that I'm bipolar and I have paranoid schizophrenia. I find it hard to talk to people about (other than my fiancé ) about my health because most look at me differently once they know my problems. The people that do know think I need constant supervision and babying ( which the fact that I have a steady job andi live in my own house should make them realize I don't need all the babying)

**ShyMer** · 08-01-2012, 10:11 PM

I injured my back years ago sledding into the brick wall of my church... things haven't been the same since. I used to have a pretty flexible back and was working up to being able to do flips and stuff, but it's taking forever to heal. It's so sad to not be able to bend like I like. Mostly it's the day to day stuff that bothers me though.
It is getting better, which is encouraging. It feels like a two steps forward, one step back type of progress though. I can bend backwards some now, which is fantastic.

Also, hormonal problems cause me to go crazy moody sometimes. My family knows why it happens, but they seem to forget that I just need a little patience to help me get past it. My husband in particular seems to have trouble understanding, which is hard.

**New York Mermaid** · 08-01-2012, 10:20 PM

im throwing myself in this, I found out monday I have hypothyroidism, this explains, the weight gain, the hair loss, etc, but not before have blood drawn 2 times within a 4 day period, I also found out I have to get blood drawn every few weeks and they did a "trans nasal endoscopy" last friday. yes it hurt like hell and i never want it ever again

. They also have me on medication which makes me .."loopy or zombie-ish" as my husband says- but its for the anxiety and the hormones, and I CANT EAT PEANUTS, i LOVE peanuts :/ whyyyyy me!!

On the plus side im working with my dance central game and started strength training, in small steps. yeah.. thats about it.

**Mermaid Celissa** · 08-01-2012, 10:50 PM

I have...

A - A heart disorder (dilated aortic root) which makes my heart beat really really fast when I'm very active, so I can't play sports.
B - A connective tissue disorder which is kind of like Marfan syndrome if you've heard of it, but it doesn't have all the qualities. I'm really weak because the connective tissue, as the name implies, connects the bones.
C - A bone disorder (I don't know what it is)
D - I get random debilitating, almost migraine-like, headaches, sometimes twice a week, which force me in bed for the whole day. The cause is unknown.

**Mermaid Sirenia** · 07-25-2014, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Mermaid Celissa

I have...

A - A heart disorder (dilated aortic root) which makes my heart beat really really fast when I'm very active, so I can't play sports.
B - A connective tissue disorder which is kind of like Marfan syndrome if you've heard of it, but it doesn't have all the qualities. I'm really weak because the connective tissue, as the name implies, connects the bones.
C - A bone disorder (I don't know what it is)
D - I get random debilitating, almost migraine-like, headaches, sometimes twice a week, which force me in bed for the whole day. The cause is unknown.

Could the headaches be cluster headaches? Clusters are WAY worse than a migraine, and cause people to not be able to do anything they're in so much pain. They don't know the cause of it, or the cure. It runs in my family, and as of right now I don't have them, but I have signs that it may happen in the future. My mom has them the most, and they tend to last a week for her

~Mermaid Sirenia~

**Raayvhen** · 07-28-2014, 09:11 PM

Sexy post surgery bruises...

**Ayla of Duluth** · 08-02-2012, 01:07 AM

I have an extreme food addiction. Today I ate an entire pizza, a box of Mac n cheese, two ice cream cones and a bag of Cheetos. I've gotten stretch marks so fast that instead of the small purple ones people usually get, these are big red gashes across the upper back side of my thighs. I even have them on my breasts. I can't fit into any of my jeans anymore, and I'm too embarrassed about my body to wear skirts regardless of how hot it gets. I now wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt to cover myself.

It got so bad so fast that I'm completely overwhelmed. I try to ration my foods and eat carrots instead of Cheetos but I just don't have the willpower to keep it up. I've tried dirt plans, counting calories, exercising every day, but nothing helps me. My parents don't think anything is wrong and that I just need to eat healthier, but I don't think that's my problem. I don't have the will to eat healthier. I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm tired, I even eat when I'm full. I've tried things like drinking a bunch of water do I would feel full sooner and eat less, but I just eat again the second I'm not full anymore. I've also tried telling my mom not to buy anything for me at the grocery store do that I wouldn't eat junk food, but I find myself whining about having nothing to eat and I take myself out to dinner, usually at a local Thai restaurant.

And I don't know what to do anymore. So yeah, there's my health rant

**Merman Chatfish** · 11-30-2014, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Ayla of Duluth

I have an extreme food addiction. Today I ate an entire pizza, a box of Mac n cheese, two ice cream cones and a bag of Cheetos. I've gotten stretch marks so fast that instead of the small purple ones people usually get, these are big red gashes across the upper back side of my thighs. I even have them on my breasts. I can't fit into any of my jeans anymore, and I'm too embarrassed about my body to wear skirts regardless of how hot it gets. I now wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt to cover myself.

It got so bad so fast that I'm completely overwhelmed. I try to ration my foods and eat carrots instead of Cheetos but I just don't have the willpower to keep it up. I've tried dirt plans, counting calories, exercising every day, but nothing helps me. My parents don't think anything is wrong and that I just need to eat healthier, but I don't think that's my problem. I don't have the will to eat healthier. I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm tired, I even eat when I'm full. I've tried things like drinking a bunch of water do I would feel full sooner and eat less, but I just eat again the second I'm not full anymore. I've also tried telling my mom not to buy anything for me at the grocery store do that I wouldn't eat junk food, but I find myself whining about having nothing to eat and I take myself out to dinner, usually at a local Thai restaurant.

And I don't know what to do anymore. So yeah, there's my health rant

I saw this post a while back from you which is a few years old and I have seen some of your photos on Facebook and other. You look prety good in those and not in sweats, I take it your doing quite a bit better?

**Winged Mermaid** · 08-02-2012, 03:00 AM

I don't even know where to start with my health issues. ..sooo we're just not going to go there for now!

I hear that about "would rather eat rusty nails than run" *nods*. You just have to find something that makes it fun! Like mermaiding, hiking, bellydancing, zumba, or just dancing like an idiot in your bedroom.

Also I am trying SO HARD to RESIST (MUST. RESIST.) advising people who have posted on herbs that they could take to help them. A nurse wouldn't go around advising medication, so yeah :P

**Mermaid Fenicia** · 08-02-2012, 03:48 AM

I'm dissabled

* I can walk but only for a little while, so most of the times I need a wheelchair.
* I can use my right arm, but a don't have any strength in it.
* I have dislexia
* I get tired very quick, so I have to take a siesta once in a while

**AniaR** · 08-02-2012, 07:28 AM

Ayla, you should look for your local over-eaters anonymous! There's such a thing. One of my best friends joined it because she was at the point of having an eating disorder because she was addicted to food and couldn't balance it, portion, etc. Now she's lost 40 lbs, eats so much better, and looks super healthy. The group was really good for her!