Guys, I need some support right now

[New York Mermaid]

My dad calls me, clearly distraught. I know he's been depressed bout everything that's been going on in his life (him and my mom are in court cause of financial issues, His girlfriend left him, and his limited ability to walk do to his Major back surgery he had 2 months ago) He tells me almost in tears, "I feel like I want to kill myself". And he IS seeing a therapist. I tried my best to talk to him let him know "theres more in life, you have me and your son (my stepbrother) who care about and love you" (considering the shock- it felt like i was hit by a train. but kept a strong fron on the phone). He didint say much to me.. I try to get him to open up but he's quiet about it.. How The hell do I react to this?

Right Now im in a state of shock, in tears tryng to make sense of it all.

[Blaze]

I'm sorry you are going through this. *hugs* I had a friend recently try to kill himself; I can't imagine going through that with a parent. Does he have any family members or friends that you can mobilize to go spend time with him? My friend said it was the worst when he was alone and all there was to to was think about the bad stuff. Since then we've been very active in making sure he hasn't been sitting home alone brooding.

[Princess Kae-Leah]

*Mer-hugs* Oh I'm so sorry!

[Mermaid Sirena]

Crimson Vision is right! The best thing for him right now is to have people who love and care for him around, even if they don't say anything just knowing they are there and they care so much helps. I can't imagine what it would be like if one of my parents said this to me and I wish I knew a way to make things magically better for you and your father. Just make sure he knows you care and make sure he keeps going to his therapist (and make sure it's a good therapist, who actually cares about their patents).

[melbel1023]

my mother often tells me of how lonely her life is, and how if she didn't have me she'd kill herself....its heavy to hear that kind of talk from your parents, or anyone you look to with great respect. though my mother does not have nearly the amount of disadvantages that your father has, i know its hard - you just have to be very strong, and very supportive. try to call him, or maybe send him a card to show that you are thinking about him. (i don't know how far you live from your father, but if close enough try to visit).

[Taylor is a Mermaid]

Oh Lanai, I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I agree with other posters that he doesn't need to be alone right now, but I also think it is a good thing that he reached out to you. It's better than isolating himself more and not sharing his problems with anyone. My dad has had back surgery too, about a month ago, and my mom and I are having to take care of him most of the time. You told him you love him and reminded him of the reasons he has to live; I think those are very good things to do. I hope that this will all get better for you and for your dad very soon.

[Blaze]

(I'd send a real bag if I had your address; they are my favorite food & I always have a few around)

[Odette]

i have a similar situation. the best thing to do is realize your not responsible for him but what you did on the phone was good.he shouldnt be leaning on you but truth is that the whole family will need therapy. dealing with this is not easy at all.this is a hard time but remember that you have a life too.i dont know much about what to do myself as i have been dealing with a very ill father. i dont know what to do either. the DES tells me its the spouses job. im confused too.it sounds like he called you as a last resort so try to relax. if you have any more details you can share with me, just message me. this is extremely hard, i know. =/ *HUG*

[Moonflower]

I'm so sorry both of you are going through this. If it helps, a dear friend of mine used to work for this hotline. http://suicideprevention.wikia.com/w...tion_Directory If you or your dad need someone to talk to, they are always there.

[AniaR]

Im actually trained in suicide intervention. The people that trained me have a great website: http://www.livingworks.net/page/Appl...%20%28ASIST%29
I suggest YOU call a suicide hotline and ask them for advice, they're all wonderful people who know what you're going through and can help you get the right support for Dad.
http://suicidehotlines.com/ has a link to suicide hotlines all over the world and www.postsecret.com has great info at the bottom.
You can PM me if you like about this and we can talk more. <3

[Winged Mermaid]

I'm really sorry you and your dad are going through this. I agree with everyone- he needs a lot of support right now. Also I PM'ed you. *bighugs*

[New York Mermaid]

Thank you All so much for the support, Links and Swedish fish (lol) My dad and I are very close, My mother and i are in a decent mother- daugther relationship. I can go on and on about the actual issues and what not, but I know my dad and he's been through alot in the past 3 months. I know im not responsible and He looks to me for support as I do him, We do spend alot of time together, I see him every other day, and call him everyday.

I decided to move our whale watching trip from next month- to this Thursday, I figure 4 hours on a boat with me and away from everyone- will do him some good. I personally always look forward to going out with my dad on vacation or even a day trip.He promised me before his major surgery he would take me to the Georgia Aquarium, 3 days before his surgery, we high tailed it for a day trip to Georgia Aquarium. It was the happiest I've seen him in a long time. We got to really talk, and had a few laughs -on the plane and opening pressurized yogurt , it was one of those "wish i had the camera" moments (he got yogurt all over him, just by opening it..lol)

You know Its hard for me to open up about my family issues, but im glad to have you guys for support- I wish I could give you all a hug,Attachment 569

[MermaidCalliope]

Hey, Lanai, sorry I'm late to jump in on this. I work on a med-surg ward in a hospital and this is something I'm trained to deal with. Moving the trip was an excellent idea... The ocean has healing powers you can only wish for in modern medicine. Make sure to remind him how happy you are that you can spend that time with him, and how much you enjoy his company.

It's good that he's seeing a therapist, but I agree with the above posters that the whole family will benefit from going to counseling. If either of you are religious, contacting your spiritual leader may help.

Something I often recommend to my patients and their families is to find a new hobby... take him to a cooking class or a workshop of some kind at your local craft store. Often people get much more enjoyment out of life if they create things.

The most important thing to remember is ALWAYS pick up the phone for him, call him every day just to chat (read as: check up on him), and above all remind him that you love him and that he holds an irreplaceable spot in your heart. I send you best wishes and lots of good energy!

[jukumerboii]

yes i agree with mermaidcalliope! u all should go out and just get some fresh air! just have faith and give him ALL the love there is to give!

[Mermaid Jewel]

I hope everything works out for you and I'm sorry that you and your dad have to go through this, and I'm sorry I'm jumping into this at the last moment xD But yeah, I think that trip will really help both of you -hugs-

[AniaR]

praying for you and your dad and sending good energy too <3

[New York Mermaid]

I want to thank you all for the support, please pardon me if ive been alittle snippy in the past few days, havent actually been sleeping much. But Update on the dad situation: we did do the whale watch, lol poor dad got a wee bit sea sick- as well as my husband. And on our way to see whale we got to chat (when he wasnt leaning over the rail turning green) and My dad and I got into common ground. He appreciates that im there for him. We are going on our second whale watching trip either aug 25 or Sept 1st, trust me 4 hours on a boat you get alot out in the open. Today after class we went for a drive, tomorrow Im going with him to Dansbury Conn. to have a picnic. Just daddy/ Daughter time. I told dad whenever he feels like that to give me a call immediately,or come over and hang out with me- ill drop whatever Im doing to help. He agreed.After our whale watch and seeing him today he seems more calm, even smiling a bit today.

[Kanti]

I hope everything goes well for you Lanai.
That is a horrible thing to have to go through )':

I'm not very good at making people feel better, but whenever I feel like crap and things always look bad, it's nice to think that when
the situation has really hit rock bottom, the only way left to go is up.
Things are never bad for long. There are stretches of time where it seems everything is going wrong and things seem cruddy but
it never lasts forever. Then when things come back to normal one by one, things lift off your shoulder and you start to feel better.
Just be there for your dad~ I'm sure all he really wants right now is someone to lean on and tell him everything is going to be alright.