Phobias - Support thread

[Seven Devils]

I have terrible tokophobia (fear of pregnancies).
It has gotten so bad since last year that now even looking at a pregnant woman will send me into a panic attack. It wouldn't be a big problem, since I never want kids, if there wasn't a pregnant woman in my coven (fellow pagan/witchcraft practicing mers; is there another word I can use other than coven? I feel stupid using it). She's really nice and I'd love to properly introduce myself, but I always have to have my back to her and it makes me feel super rude. :/ I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I've tried therapy, but it doesn't help much. I'm starting to think I'll be tokophobic forever.

(Sorry for any typos, I'm on my phone. Haha.)

[Mermaid Kalliope]

Wow, that is a new one! Tokophobia. Hm... Well, if it's too much to do in person, why don't you try to talk to her over e-mail and explain your phobia? It's not like she's going to stay pregnant forever! That baby has to come out sometime. *laughs* See if you can get another coven member to exchange e-mails for you guys and go from there.

As for "coven", it's very hard find another word for it. I know it has quite the negative tag attached to it, but I have heard some groups use "congregation" for their group. Since that is what it is. Though, most folks will assume Christian with that word. :-( Sorry I'm not much more help.

[Seven Devils]

Oh wow, thank you! I never even THOUGHT to exchange emails with her!
I can have a friend of mine explain the situation to her, exchange our emails, and then I can personally explain to her why I've been so distant.
She is already seven months along though, so it won't be a problem for too much longer. Thanks again for the suggestion, that was such a good idea!

And I knoooow. Congregation' doesn't feel quite as personal as 'coven', which sucks, since it sounds a little better. I suppose I'll stick with 'coven' for now, even if I do feel a little silly.
But what's a witch to do? Haha.

[Echidna]

is there another word I can use other than coven? I feel stupid using it

You could say "meditation circle" or "meditation group" or anything along those lines, whatever you feel expresses best what you're doing

[Mermaid Kenzie]

I have an anxiety disorder. It used to be really bad, to where I couldn't be around people for an extended period of time because it would wig me out. I needed to feel like everything was in control and if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to handle it and melt down. Now, I have worked a good bit of it out. I chew my fingernails like crazy still, though and occasionally have to seclude myself.

I also have an irrational fear of male doctors. I don't like them touching me in any way.

@Taom I literally have everything you mentioned (except biting my nails, I started picking under them instead), and was wondering if it's not too much to ask, what's the title of your disorder? P.s the doctor thing, I'm totally with you ;D Except it's really ALL doctors for me...

[deepblue]

I don't see male doctors, either. Unless they're extremely, obviously femme, I can handle that. But when I go to a new office, I always tell them I must see a female doctor. One doctor I had knew me so well that when she had to have one of her male NPs see me, she said, "No, you'll be fine with this one." And indeed, I was very comfortable because he was quite femme.

I used to have extremely bad anxiety disorder, but after years and years of working on it, I do much better. You can get to a better place with it, but it takes work and a good help.

if there wasn't a pregnant woman in my coven (fellow pagan/witchcraft practicing mers; is there another word I can use other than coven?)

A lot of women in the coven I used to belong to simply called it their Circle.

Personally, dealing with fear and anxiety without the attacks is something I still deal with everyday. I had at one time not left my house for months, but that was a long time ago, and now I just do. I leave, I have my daughter to think of, and I just have to deal with the world.

[Mermaid Kalliope]

Oh wow, thank you! I never even THOUGHT to exchange emails with her!
I can have a friend of mine explain the situation to her, exchange our emails, and then I can personally explain to her why I've been so distant.
She is already seven months along though, so it won't be a problem for too much longer. Thanks again for the suggestion, that was such a good idea!

And I knoooow. Congregation' doesn't feel quite as personal as 'coven', which sucks, since it sounds a little better. I suppose I'll stick with 'coven' for now, even if I do feel a little silly.
But what's a witch to do? Haha.

^_^ So glad I could help! <3 I really hope that everything works out for you. It is tough to not be able to communicate with someone due to a fear, but e-mail and telephones are a wonderful thing!

[Jadestone]

Like Seven Devils, I have a fear of pregnancy, but in my case it's much broader than that and I haven't found a specific phrase/word for it listed anywhere. Basically, I'm afraid of things being inside me. "Unnatural" things, like IV needles or breathing tubes or parasites or a fetus (the organs that are supposed to be there and the healthy bacteria are all okay, so to me are "natural"). I don't know if it's debilitating enough to be considered a medical phobia, but it does impact my life/behavior and make me pretty unhappy when confronted with it So a very strong fear at least.

This has a couple different ways it seems to express itself... I fear swallowing foreign objects, I don't even put silverware very far into my mouth--if i'm eating with a fork, I just bite whatever's on the end of the fork with teeth as opposed to closing my mouth around the fork. If it's not a bite-able item or I'm eating with a spoon, I just put the edge of the utensil to my lips and "pour" into my mouth. For soup like things I could also slurp them in, but that's impolite

Breathing tubes freak me out because in general they're unexpected. I've never had one but if I woke up wiht one in the hospital I would have a panic attack and rip it out which is really not a good idea but I would not be able to leave it inside me. I've started crying just THINKING TOO MUCH about this one, just describing it here is giving me the chills x_x

This next part may be TMI for some of you, so be warned... Another thing I can't do is wear tampons :/ The closest I've ever gotten was holding one before I started crying too hard to even consider actually putting it in. That was maybe 3 years ago, since I've considered retrying and then about 5 seconds later start to panic and realize it's probably just never going to be an option for me. Which sucks, as there's no options for me for swimming during my time of the month this way Relatedly, thinking about going to the ladyparts doctor sends me into full-blown panic mode. That's an appointment I'm never making nope.

I've only ever really talked about this (especially that last part) with a very few close friends, so it feels kind of good to get it out of me a little

[Mermaid Varshana]

I hope someday you overcome your fear, Jadestone Ladyparts check ups can save lives. Of course, I'm one to talk. I haven't had one in 2 years due to money issues. And I have a family history of ladyparts issues :/

[Mermaid Muir]

Funny story. Im actually afraid of deep water. Im trying to get out of it like I did my fear of heights but it's taking some time. And being ousted for being my true self.

[Mermaid Kalliope]

I don't know if it's a fear of pregnancy, per se, but I do quite loathe the idea of being pregnant. Seeing pregnant women doesn't scare me, I find it quite interesting, but the thought of myself being pregnant... *shudders* I'm good. And I'm right there with you, Jadestone. Ladypart doctor's appointment... No thank you. >< I do not want someone I barely know poking around down there. :-/

I think the air tubes, IV lines and a few other pokey items are a fear of many. I, personally, believe it's because it IS unnatural to have a plastic tube shoved down your throat. Being uncomfortable with it is a normal, natural reaction. Same as surgery, scares the hell out of me if it is with humans. Animals, I'm okay with, but otherwise no. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Glad you feel better about getting that off your chest, Jadestone! And hopefully things can get better!

[Mermaid Julianne]

Well, up until recently, I've been extremely afraid of pitch blackness/people in the dark with me. About two years ago, I watched Saw at midnight, and ever since then, I always imagine someone or something in the room with me when I'm alone at night, like when they abducted the guy with the camera in his house with the masks on. At night, I have to turn on all the lights so I have an open path to my room. No darkness whatsoever. Its a little insane. The same fear pops up when I walk my dog at night, and I continually think that some man is going to jump out of the woods and kidnap me. I have to walk in the middle of the road so I don't have a panic attack. Usually, I'm okay, but sometimes... Ugh. I can't.

Anyways, a few months ago I was in Target with my stepdad and I saw this light up lightsaber in the kids aisle. I immediately realized this was the exact thing I needed to solve my problem. Not only was this thing a super mega flashlight, it was also a weapon. If anyone tried to mess with me at night, I could beat the crap out of them. Somehow, I convinced myself that I am extremely powerful, I just hadn't had the opportunity to prove myself yet. Needless to say, my walks and trips to bed have gotten much better. All thanks to my special lightsaber.

(This was a facebook post of mine from May 4th)

Edit: I just realized how corny this sounds. But bottom line, the saber is a godsend. When I don't have it though, I still do the light thing. The thought of something in the room with me shakes to the bone. Thank god I've never played or watched Slender man.

[deepblue]

I don't find it corny. One of my oldest online friends is a member of New York Jedi, and she kicks ass with a light saber regularly, in performances. It is a heck of a workout. (If you look, she is the tiny petite gal with black wings and two sabers.)

Really, whatever works for you, anyway. We all have to do what works for us. No one else need understand.

[SeaGlass Siren]

That's not corny at all! I still sleep with my turtle nightlight that makes u feel like you're underwater!!

[Mermaid Marissa]

I know mine are really weird.... I have this thing against mold and earwigs (the grossest insect ever!) I am usually not afraid of bugs (since I basically grew up in my yard lol) but I realllllllly don't like earwigs they freak me out just talking about them.

[deepblue]

Mold is a good thing to be freaked out by, that stuff can be deadly, no joking. I'm deathly allergic to it, but it's bad for everyone.

I love insects, but even I avoid earwigs, they're just not a bug that's very safe to have around.

A lot of what I see here are perfectly reasonable things to be freaked out by. lol

BTW- I'm not making light of it. My family has a history of some pretty serious... stuff. My younger sister has a grasshopper and cricket phobia. And when I say phobia, I mean it... she can't function when she sees one, she's been known to fall to the ground with dry heaves, she will scream... when were kids, I'd put her on my back and walk her from a car to a door, etc. She can't go on lawns, etc.

She challenged it once by picking up a cricket statue, and the damn thing moved because it was made to only she hadn't known. She nealry had a breakdown.

I have serious mental crap in my life, but most of it I won't go into here. It is either too disturbing or people aren't educated enough about psychology outside of Hollywood to understand. So kudos to everyone talking about their phobias.

[Mermaid Varshana]

Psych major here. PM me if you need to vent

[Moon]

I have claustrophobia, trypophobia, achluophobia and coulrophobia.

[deepblue]

Psych major here. PM me if you need to vent

Aw, thanks, that's sweet. But I don't need to vent most of the time. It's a daily thing, but I've 'mostly recovered' and only some pretty serious triggers take me back down to a bad level. Having been dealing with it all for most of my life, it's just.. life now.

There are things that I call phobias, like not seeing male doctors, but it's not a true phobia if you can ever do it. I was in an ambulance with male emts, and I didn't lose it, so it's more a bad, illogical fear that causes a lot of severe anxiety- but I can, if I have to, get past it if I must. I ended up with a male surgeon in an emergency, and I made it through without sedation (other than local aesthetic and all that). I'm technically claustrophobic, but not of small space- the problem I have is that in uneven, crowded spaces. It took me by surprise, and made me run from these spaces a few times before I figured it out. Now I force it, I refuse to let something like a poorly designed store make me stop breathing and have an anxiety attack.

So I don't consider these true phobias, because they're not debilitating like I see phobias are for some. My one, true phobia? I won't even talk about, it's so bad. ha.

[theMerFanc]

So I don't think there is a technical 'phobia' word for any of my fears because they are so...well, let's be honest here... DUMB.

My first and largest fear that still really grips me is actually a fear of virtual water. Ironically enough I CANNOT WILL NOT play any video games that require you to do anything in the water. This fear stems from over a decade ago when I was playing WoW. My character was being rushed and boss leveled by another character. We swam out to a tiny little island and hug out for awhile just chatting and then he logged off and left me there. Int he middle of a massive ocean. In a region where the monsters where so high level they were just ???s. And I couldn't swim back because things would kill me before they even showed up on my map. I am not afraid of real water because I know I can control myself and to be honest, because i know if I die, thats that. id on't have to deal with retrieving my body for all of my gear... I tried playing Echo the Dolphin on PS2 once. It was a literal nightmare and I couldn't push buttons I was hyperventilating so badly.

My second fear is the Easter Bunny. Again, an incredibly ironic fear considering I love animals and want a rabbit someday. My specific fear is of the mall bunnies that have the creepy ass faces (which is yet again ironic because I am a freaking Furry). I am a tad embarrassed to say this fear actually stems from a short story called "Death to the Easter Bunny" that I read when I was too young to know better. And from then on any time I saw an Easter Bunny I would just sort of freak out. I have gotten a lot better about it since coming to college and making asshole friends that show me pictures of the imaginary friend bunny (Harley? Hardy? idk) that is like.... I can't even. Can we all just take a moment though to realize that Ostara is my second favorite holiday and just recognize my terribly confusion of self...

my third and final major fear is less of a phobia and more of a precautionary fear. Swallowing my hair. Too many times have I accidentally swallowed a still-attached hair while eating and then I have to pull the hair out of my throat because I have no scissors and it won't break. Let me tell you, a single strand of hair can cut a fragile trachea and DEAR GODS DOES IT HURT. Long story short, my hair never grows past my shoulders now.