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Thread: The "I'm going to be away for a bit" announcement thread

  1. #21
    I'm going away indefinitely. I dunno if I'll come back or not. Tired of double standards.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by nerinethemermaid View Post
    I'm going away indefinitely. I dunno if I'll come back or not. Tired of double standards.
    Oh come on, Nerine... If this is about Raina's thread with the merverts, this is ridiculous


  3. #23
    Senior Member Euro Pod Echidna's Avatar
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    actually, I can see where she's coming from.
    Sometimes, it does give the impression double standards do exist.

    However, in this case, I wouldn't say so.
    The 2 threads are very different.
    While done with good intentions, the first thread was basically only a name-calling list.

    The second is more of a general guide, and the official complaints list is backed up with info, witnesses, reports of many people, and not just a name thrown in.

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by caltuna View Post
    actually, I can see where she's coming from.
    Sometimes, it does give the impression double standards do exist.

    However, in this case, I wouldn't say so.
    The 2 threads are very different.
    While done with good intentions, the first thread was basically only a name-calling list.

    The second is more of a general guide, and the official complaints list is backed up with info, witnesses, reports of many people, and not just a name thrown in.
    On the other hand, I do think that's what nerine was striving for in hers. I think the thread kind of got derailed with "don't name call" and what not.

  5. #25
    this is why I'm leaving.

  6. #26
    While I see both sides of the argument, I can absolutely understand why Nerine's original thread from May 2013 was shot down. Hell, even now, "call-out" posts like the latest one along with the ensuing discussion threads can be really tricky to maintain— even if the lists did include evidence to back up the claims, if someone featured on the list were to come across it and get offended, they could go to MerNetwork's web host, vBulletin, and complain about harassment. If enough similar complaints about the site get filed, it can cause major problems and, if things were to escalate enough, vBulletin could shut the site down and there could be a lot of trouble in regards to libel, defamation of character, etc.. This is why warning posts like the Merverts list need to be really heavily regulated and strictly moderated.

    Nerine, your original thread wasn't nearly so regulated and could very easily have devolved into drama and problems for the moderators, so I can understand why people were hesitant about it. It's been over a year since you made that thread and it's only now that someone's decided to try a safer, stricter route with it. I think you're overreacting and kind of need to just... Let it go, to be honest.

    It's not a "double-standard" when it took over a year for someone else to try a similar idea and actually attempt to execute it with higher standards than you offered in the first place.

    It's unfortunate that you feel that you have to leave over something so trivial as a similar thread topic.

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Tieri View Post
    I think you're overreacting and kind of need to just... Let it go, to be honest.

    It's not a "double-standard" when it took over a year for someone else to try a similar idea and actually attempt to execute it with higher standards than you offered in the first place.

    It's unfortunate that you feel that you have to leave over something so trivial as a similar thread topic.
    My thoughts exactly. Thank you Tieri!
    Seriously, Nerine, you should stay. This is really silly to leave just for that.


  8. #28
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    Sorry you feel that way nerine.

  9. #29
    Honestly I'm still not sure I like a thread essentially blacklisting people, but admittedly it has become a much bigger issue in the past year (lost of issues with minors especially). Really the only reason I'm giving it a chance is because Raina laid out a strict policy and specific layouts for said policy. The biggest part is that proof needs to be provided, where as before my biggest complaint with your thread was that there was no proof that anyone was posting. As I've said in a lot of other threads, I can't stand behind he-said-she-said type info. I'm sorry you feel as if this is somehow a double standard. You had a good idea, it just wasn't quite developed enough to avoid the wrong kind of implications.

    Wingéd Mermaid Iona

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  10. #30
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    Honestly I couldn't remember who made the original posting and it didn't show up when I searched because of the hyphen. I assumed whoever made it would bring it up eventually and I would have been happy to reference it just wasn't expecting attitude . its not like I've ever gone around taking credit for other people's hard work I find it pretty insulting honestly. But oh well

  11. #31
    My last response. I'm rather offended that I'm being attacked essentially because I feel like I need a break. My reasons are my own. My feelings are my own. This is not the only reason for my hiatus. I do not have to explain. your responses only reafirm my desire to leave this forum for an indeterminate period of time.

  12. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Mermaid View Post
    Honestly I'm still not sure I like a thread essentially blacklisting people, but admittedly it has become a much bigger issue in the past year (lost of issues with minors especially). Really the only reason I'm giving it a chance is because Raina laid out a strict policy and specific layouts for said policy. The biggest part is that proof needs to be provided, where as before my biggest complaint with your thread was that there was no proof that anyone was posting. As I've said in a lot of other threads, I can't stand behind he-said-she-said type info. I'm sorry you feel as if this is somehow a double standard. You had a good idea, it just wasn't quite developed enough to avoid the wrong kind of implications.
    This is sort of the issue I have with it as well-- While I do feel that at this point, a list of common offenders/troublemakers/potential predators in the mer-community would be extremely helpful, there's a risk of people coming in, throwing around accusations without proof and things escalating and causing a lot more trouble than it's honestly worth.

    For example: I follow a community on LiveJournal called Artists_Beware that basically acts as a list for problematic artists and commissioners. It's a beautifully-run community (though the mod team has to work very hard to keep it that way, and they do a hell of a job of it) where people can talk about their experiences with certain people. One of their biggest rules in the comm is basically the "Look But Don't Touch" rule-- unless you are personally involved with the transaction, you keep your commentary to the LiveJournal post. You don't go to their page and start sticking your nose in to cause trouble, or try to bait them into coming into the LJ post, no trolling, flaming, namecalling, whatever (and the mods don't allow any of that in the LJ post itself, either; they expect everyone to stay perfectly civil and, for the most part, professional). Otherwise, that can be considered harassment and the person can go to LJ, complain, and get the community shut down completely, as LJ has a very strict no-harassment policy (and I imagine vBulletin has the same).

    My biggest concern is what sort of actions having a "Merverts" list will have on the people featured-- yes, the point of the list is to warn people so they can be avoided altogether, but there's nothing really in place to ensure that people don't go through the list and decide to follow them over to Facebook and start baiting/trolling/harassing them, calling them pedophiles and sexual predators, etc. Even if someone featured on the list and approached someone, and the person they approached went "No you're a pervert, I read all about you on that Mernetwork thread, you're such a *&@#'ing creep, blah blah blah," that can come back on MN.

    That said, it's not a bad idea. It's just one that needs to be very heavily moderated and very carefully handled, because I can guarantee you, as time goes on there's going to be people who see their name on the list, freak out, and start threatening legal action, hassling vBulletin administration to shut the whole site down, the works, and when that happens the person/people in charge of the list need to be able to stay chill and professional when things get insanely heated to keep things under control.

    I apologize if I'm rambling and if this is getting super off-topic for this thread. I am hella sleep deprived and have a lot of feelings on things like this. D:


    Quote Originally Posted by nerinethemermaid View Post
    My last response. I'm rather offended that I'm being attacked essentially because I feel like I need a break. My reasons are my own. My feelings are my own. This is not the only reason for my hiatus. I do not have to explain. your responses only reafirm my desire to leave this forum for an indeterminate period of time.
    Nerine, nobody is attacking you. You posted a vague and passive-aggressive "Sick of the double standards!1" leaving post right after getting upset about Raina "taking" your idea of a Beware-Of-Merverts thread. Nobody is expecting you to list every single reason you have for leaving in detail, but are you really going to get this upset that people made assumptions?
    Last edited by Starfrit; 08-24-2014 at 01:10 AM. Reason: Fixing typos because I am awful at proofreading, apparently

  13. #33
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    Tieri you make awesome points I tried to address in my post but know I can't do it all. Having been around for so long I think I have a good feel for how people in the Mer community handle stuff. I also researched the hell out of libel and slander laws in terms of how we use the forum previously because a certain tail maker was always trying to legally go after us and because Iona and I enforced certain things he couldn't.we actually built mernetwork to give us more legal freedom and somewhere in the archives is an info post about avoiding libel but still telling truth.

    So far I feel the thread is fine because of the standard set. No one could legally do a thing with what has been posted and I intend and I'm sure Iona, to keep it that way. we have a lot of experience in it now

  14. #34
    And, see, that I can totally get behind. I feel more comfortable with the list being handled by people like you and Iona, because you guys know your stuff, have done the research, have experience with this sort of thing, yadda-yadda. If it were almost anybody else on the forum, I'd be a lot more nervous about it. :P

  15. #35
    Junior Member Euro Pod Jonny's Avatar
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    Don't leave Atlantica

    Please please please don't leave, what happens if there is a question which only YOU know the answer too. Also if you leave that is one less Merperson who I can ask about my tail. Also you are a senior member which means you've been here for ages, so just think of putting all that time to waste. Your like a mermaid leaving Atlantica you won't be able to talk to many people about merpeople problems.

  16. #36
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod
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    who are you lol?

  17. #37
    Senior Member North Pacific Pod Raayvhen's Avatar
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    My thoughts exactly.

  18. #38

  19. #39
    Senior Member Euro Pod Echidna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny View Post
    Also you are a senior member which means you've been here for ages
    Anyone who exceeds a certain number of posts is called senior member.
    It has nothing to do with join date.
    That's the case in lots of forums btw.

    also;
    Quote Originally Posted by AniaR View Post
    who are you lol?
    and
    Quote Originally Posted by Raayvhen View Post
    My thoughts exactly.

  20. #40
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod PearlieMae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merman Arion View Post
    oh boy

    snicker

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