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Thread: asked to cover up?

  1. #41
    Senior Member Chesapeake Pod ShyMer's Avatar
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    Sounds like everyone had a lot of fun! Were you able to get any photos?

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  2. #42
    Okay, jumping in the deep end here: *deepbreath*

    I am a proponent of modest clothing. Contrary to how people like me are portrayed today, I do not believe that anyone ever deserves to be sexually assaulted. I also do not believe men should walk around with their pants low. I do believe that this, "I can do whatever I want, and to heck with what anybody says or thinks" attitude is immature and absolutely selfish. I believe that the refusal to cover up despite the social taboos speaks to an attitude not of, "It's just natural," but of rebellion and entitlement. I believe that fully developed breasts are a signal to males that a female is sexually mature and ready to bear and suckle children, and they are genetically disposed to start thinking of these women in a more sexual way. Does that mean that all males think this way or that this is the only thing that "turns a man on?" No. I don't run around telling women everywhere to cover up because my modesty is my personal choice, but I do believe it is the right choice and I reserve the right to do so. I wish I had the right to do so without being characterized as a slut-shaming, rape-loving, nature-hating, religious fanatic who's behind on the times (and yeah, all at once, for some reason all of that goes together and all modest proponents must be grouped under that label).

    NOW, since we already have a couple of threads on the "modesty vs nature" or double-standard issue, I'll speak to the OPs dilemma. Unfortunately, we live in a society that is very sexual today, and very legal-happy (see the current Will Smith kerfuffle) and many professionals are super sensitive to cut anything that could be considered remotely sensual out of fear that it will come back to bite them in the butt. So you may find people who won't hire you because of what you wear, it's part of being a professional. If you decide that your standards of dress are more important than the gig, just turn it down and move on. I myself have turned down a couple of gigs that wanted me to be a very burlesque mermaid because my modest persona is important to me. However, if what you wear is not terribly important to you, it won't hurt to have a more modest top to switch in as the gig requires.

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  3. #43
    Senior Member Pod of The South Aziara's Avatar
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    Thalassa, you have made some very good points and given me some food for thought. Thank you.
    Also known as Salina Tideglow

  4. #44
    Senior Member North Pacific Pod Meilyn's Avatar
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    I like to push the envelope when things like this happen around me and do everything and exactly what they tell me not to do.

    The way I see it: It's not my fault for being confidant in myself, with my body, and it's their or YOUR problem if you can't control your sexual desires or thoughts. Because anyone who's unable to control themselves from mere body parts (excluding the private areas) of others have really bad mental issues.
    Then again, I am a trained fighter, prior service (technical Veteran) Army, and I do always have a 12 million volt taser around me at all times not including a very vicious 90 lb guard (therapy) puppy.

    People naturally fear that they can't control or understand. Having little rules like "you can't show your shoulders" etc is just another form of control on females. Guys walk around with their panties hanging out in public all the time in the ghetto. How come no one regulates that? Geez, it might turn me on and make me a sexual deviant. Who knows... I say we regulate that before anything else...

  5. #45
    Senior Member Pod of The South Aziara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meilyn View Post
    Guys walk around with their panties hanging out in public all the time in the ghetto. How come no one regulates that? Geez, it might turn me on and make me a sexual deviant. Who knows... I say we regulate that before anything else...
    Actually, 2 or 3 towns near me have criminalized low hanging pants that reveal the underwear, people get tickets for it.
    Also known as Salina Tideglow

  6. #46
    Senior Member North Pacific Pod Meilyn's Avatar
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    I wish the town's around my area would do that. When it gets hot out, in certain areas of town, you can almost expect every other male with their shirts off. Of course if I did that, I'd get ticketed for indecent exposure and reported. Not that that's something I would do but still lol. Some people anger me. How can you not be accountable for your own actions and blame others for being "too sexy" when all they're showing are their shoulders
    Last edited by Meilyn; 05-29-2014 at 07:03 PM. Reason: wrong smiley

  7. #47
    Senior Member Chesapeake Pod Fun123joker's Avatar
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    WARNING: LONG RANT ABOUT MY PARENTS

    so the one time i make a skirt it was decent short but noooooooo my parents think its too short. i was the most insulted when my mother went on about "my grandmother made all my clothes when i was a kid and circle skirts are one of the hardest to do" ok 1) circle skirts are one of the EASIEST 2) just because you watched her dosnt mean you know everything about it. I've seen her drive so that means i know everything about driving! then they throw thier religoin excusses "the bible states that it souldnt be any shorter then knee length ok last time i've checked we wernt morman and second it was never in the bible why the fuck would the word of the christian god say that. if anything it would of been supported because everyparent wanted thier teenage daughter to get a man as quick as possible.
    once we had a dude working on our fernace down stairs and thing is my phone was down there. i was told to change my pj pants because they were too short TO GO DOWN THE STAIRS.

    my problem is that im not insecure about men ,my parents are


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  8. #48
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod PearlieMae's Avatar
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    Okay, we've got two issues going on here...I am all for your personal choices regarding your right to wear/not wear what you want, but the discussion is about a client asking for something particular. If you want the gig, you either comply with the client's request, or you pass on the gig.

  9. #49
    PearlieMae's right, we have gotten off topic. I apologize to contibuting to it; it's one of those things I get heated about. But yes, if it's for the gig, you should comply with their requests. Not comfortable? Don't do the gig.

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  10. #50

    Ankles

    It used be well known that the sight of an ankle would drive men wild. Fortunately, mermaids don't have ankles. Problem solved!
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  11. #51
    LOL....no worries....really!! So since that gig, I did another swimming one at a YMCA and noone ever questioned the costume. However, I have been doing gigs for a Summer Camp and they requested I wear something more covered up and I am 100% okay with this. The kids ranged from K-8th grade and they were concerned with the young boys. LOL. I wore a long tank top with a fancier cropped tank overtop and everything went fine. Being a bellydancer too, I have seen ALOT! Some dancers love to show off and others are modest. I believe each has a right to wear what makes them comfortable. However, when someone is performing and dancing high energy, I would prefer not to see a titty come flying out and flapping around, but that is just me. LOL. It is distracting ..LOL. I always make sure all important bits are tucked down...with no chance of escape

  12. #52
    I didnt get many pics from this first event, but have some from others I can post too

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  13. #53
    For the Summer camps, I always have 3 groups that rotate. These are from the same Summer Camp, we just switch locations Lots of fun

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  14. #54
    I would just make or get a pretty decorated piece of netting/tulle or something and temporarily attach it to the top, if they insist on being so "Meh!" about it. I agree that they would have though that maybe a mermaid would have a shell top... it's kind of like, dur dee dur... I mean seriously. And Little Orca... well said, well said... *slow claps*
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  15. #55
    I agree with Caspiana. That's what I have done with my top. I actually crocheted the whole thing with fabric underneath it that is the same colour as my tail (so that it both matches AND keeps certain things from peeking out). It starts out quite solid looking, as slowly gets more lacy. The yarn I used is actually a cotton/elastic mix, so it doesn't droop and it still fits nicely. The whole thing comes down and attaches with small metal rings to my belt. It sort of looks like a net, but the metal rings remind me a bit of a lobster trap. I quite like it. There are definitely ways to appease your clients without losing the mermaid look up top.
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  16. #56
    Senior Member Pod of Oceania Mermaid Narina's Avatar
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    Its hard for tall girls like myself (5ft 10 baby!), i try to dress modestly, but shorts and skirts always look really short on me because of long legs same with dress shopping, its a struggle to find decent level dresses. this is just something i found on google images, but its a description of me trying to go dress shopping haha :P It also makes it hard to wear a bikini because om showing more torso too >.<

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    im glad your gig went well! can you post a pic of the tank top you made?
    User previously known as "Natasha".




  17. #57
    Mermaid Narina, I ended up wearing some tanks I bought. I still havn't made one.

    Here are a couple more from last weeks swim at the Y again. I worked with three local YMCA's this Summer and it was great! These kids were so excited!! I swam twice at this location and had 2 mermaid bodyguards each time. Once in the front helping keep an open space around me so I could swim and one by my tail so noone would step on it. These lifeguards were awesome and I wouldn't do the gig without them

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    Video from event


  18. #58
    Read thru everything, got a lot of thoughts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Merman Dan View Post
    I am reminded of the news story regarding a 17-year-old girl who was asked to leave her prom because "some of the dads chaperoning the event for home-schooled teens thought her dancing would give the boys "impure thoughts." "
    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Orca View Post
    Because, you know, grown men cannot control their own thoughts and actions (or be held accountable for them) and we should instead shame a woman about showing her body and put the blame back on her instead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mermaid Saphira View Post
    While we are on the subject of imposing ridiculous dress codes upon women, my school forbids any form of shoulder bearing. No spaghetti straps, no tank tops, not even a really thick strapped tank top. Their explanation for this.. 'You have to keep your shoulders covered up, they might turn someone on.' *facepalm* Because my shoulders are soooo sexy!

    In all honesty, really anything could turn someone on. I know a guy who likes ears. What would we do about that? Cover up our ears?! lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Aziara View Post
    Yeah, I probably drive foot-fetish people crazy, I'm either in flip flops or barefoot all the time.
    Quote Originally Posted by PearlieMae View Post
    Well, it's time to take a stand and refuse to cowtow to the attempts to shame us into submission because men have a problem with being able to see our bodies! It isn't OUR problem, it's THEIRS!

    I don't understand why women, especially young women, just roll over and allow men governance over their bodies, and what we can and cannot do with them!
    Because they are taught from the young age men are in charge (had a thought tonight that its a conspiracy because everyone knows if women were in charge the world would be a much better place and you can't make money on everyone always being happy, healthy, and safe...but I never got that memo).

    Or maybe men really are just that weak? *ducks from flying objects*

    Quote Originally Posted by sashiyoop View Post
    ...We can't let boys see those, because then they'll just lose control over their hormones like a glubbing werewolf and we can't hold them responsible for their actions because they have such promising futures and we can't destroy that!...
    Notice no other animal, including werewolfs, get squeamish when they seem breastfeeding.

    Quote Originally Posted by sashiyoop View Post
    A lot of things about society make me angry nowadays. I miss the days when I was little and none of it mattered. :/
    Which is why I want to move, this world seems a bit messed up to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by sashiyoop View Post
    Yes, this exactly. It alway cracks me up how some people think boobs are a sexual organ. They are literally just baby-feeding-lumps-of-chest-fat. I think at one point in time (and possibly still now) there was a facebook page dedicated to stopping breast feeding because "sexal body parts should not be in babies' mouths." I nearly died laughing at it before I saw how many people had liked it.
    Quote Originally Posted by shimmygoddess View Post
    Thanks! I heard back from them and I sent them a photo of my tail/top. Once I told her it came up past my belly button she thought it would be fine
    wait...belly buttons are sexual body parts now? Oh no! I show mine all the time at the pool.



    I had many more thoughts but this is already a bit long.

  19. #59
    I've been considering getting a babydoll lingerie top and adding shells and stuff for a more modest mermaid top for a friend of mine. I think it would look super cute and be much more modest than just netting. A lot of them are made from swim fabric too. Win win.
    That being said, I would happily be a topless mer. Lol depends on the person.


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  20. #60
    Quote Originally Posted by CoyoteWalker View Post
    I've been considering getting a babydoll lingerie top and adding shells and stuff for a more modest mermaid top for a friend of mine. I think it would look super cute and be much more modest than just netting. A lot of them are made from swim fabric too. Win win.
    That being said, I would happily be a topless mer. Lol depends on the person.


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    aren't a lot of babydolls made of chiffon and Organza or cotton? Or do you mean some of the less fancy ones? (because the only ones I own/make are made of chiffon or organza or other soft flowy fabrics.)

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