Merfolk on the Autism Spectrum

[Echidna]

The most hated words in school: "Everyone get in groups." and "Line up for team selection."

the rest of my life was too much of the time, but the fact is, school was... all about not being understood. By almost anyone. Group activities meant having ideas that no one else understood. Man I hated school. Even being in 'gifted classes' didn't help, I was just misunderstood at a higher level.

you just described my school experience.
sums up my time at universities as well
Natural science wasn't half bad, but the humanities and arts at university
the curriculum consisted of toadying up to guys who knew not a quarter of what I learned by myself at home.
I'm convinced only a masochist can make it through to a higher degree (unless dimwitted to dull the pain of pointlessness).

[MermaidRuby]

I was diagnosed with PDD/NOS when I was 9 and then it was changed to Asperger's Syndrome when I was 19. I figured out I had Asperger's 5 years before the professionals did. I really wanted to scream at them, "IT TOOK YOU 10 YEARS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I HAVE?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH CRAP I'VE HAD TO LIVE THROUGH?" It made me so mad that it took them so long to figure it out. But I showed them! I have my college degree, a good steady job that correlates to my degree, a loving boyfriend who wants to propose to me this summer, and a dog that I raised from a puppy who I love with all my heart.

[Chaemy]

I have Asperger's syndrome. I was diagnosed with that when I was around 11-12 years old.
Many years ago when I heard about Aspergers and how smart and cool people with aspergers could be. I actually wanted to have Aspergers then. I asked mom over and over again if she was sure that I didn't had Aspergers and I was a little bit sad because she said "no" all the time. But a couple of years later she wanted me to sit down so she could tell me that I have that diagnose anyway.

[deepblue]

Does anyone know of how an adult goes about being getting a diagnosis of anything on the Autism spectrum? Or having it ruled out, of course. The doc I saw who said she thought I should see someone who specialises in it didn't tell me who that would be, and it was years ago.

Of the factors that fit with me, one has just become much more clear to me and can't have anything to do with my difficult childhood.

I read this article, and the sound issue is exactly what I deal with, and what is making life extremely difficult right now. (smells are the same kind of thing, this whole walking around feeling like an exposed nerve is wearing on me.)

http://www.motherjones.com/environme...urotransmitter

This esp:

"Autism is often described as a disorder in which all the sensory input comes flooding in at once, so the idea that an inhibitory neurotransmitter was important fit with the clinical observations," said Caroline Robertson, the lead researcher, in a statement. While many of us can simply tune out everyday sights or sounds—say, the sight of a grate on the sidewalk or the noise of a car driving by—those with autism are inundated with a deluge of sensory information that can turn everyday environments into distressing experiences.

Distressing. To say the least.

I also went ahead and took a 'do you have Asperger's test' online, and while it's not a diagnosis, the score made me think that yes, I should look into this. If nothing else, perhaps I can find a new framework from which to approach life. Moving north of my usual area has made it all insanely worse, I feel like I've been yanked out of my skin and it's still down in the places I love and want to live in and no amount of rationalizing or logic-ing myself is working, and I'd seriously take Valium or something, if I could. I can't take most meds. Over-sensitivity to them prevents that.

And while, if it were just that hearing sounds is like a thousand cuts, I'd not think anything of it, it's that along with other things, it makes me think more and more I really need to seek out a professional who can tell me if this is what I am dealing with, have it confirmed, and give me some tools to deal with what is happening.

[Mermaid Wesley]

I would assume a psychiatrist. I'm not sure but that's where I'd start


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[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

I am also on the autism spectrum

[Takahao]

I'm on the spectrum as well, I have ASD. I was a socially dysfunctional pocket of spaghetti for the majority of my life, with no thanks to all the crappy school-assigned therapists and counselors I've had, none of which save one or two helped me, or recognized any other problems I had like maladaptive day dreaming, and depression as a result of severe bullying for most of my life in school. That coupled in with the separation of my parents, I hardly ever get to see my dad anymore because he lives on the opposite side of the country :/. I'm a tiny bit okayer now. I'm either too broken or too angry to let anything affect me now, I just bottle everything up until I have a freak meltdown every once in a while.

I still suck at speaking, comprehending emotions, and interacting with others, but at least I can say I'm a bit of a Daywalker now. Most people don't realize I'm autistic, but then again I don't really talk to many people outside of my friend group.

[deepblue]

Two years since the last time I saw this thread, and I'm still not finding a pyschdoc or anyone who will do an eval for adults that doesn't cost at least a thousand dollars. Honestly. When I finally heard back from one of the many places I emailed, they said they do adult avals, it's a six-eight hour eval. $150 per hour. Four hours actual testing/observation, and the rest is them evaluating. They do not take insurance.

Meanwhile, two of my friends have been diagnosed in the past year, both ASD. Both of them I already loved to pieces because they understand me where no one else does, they are both so much like me in the way we think and approach things. Neither was evaluated in my state, so they can't refer or recommend. However, my friend in AZ paid far less, and in installments.

I can understand why evaluating an adult is more difficult, the fact is that I've learned to mimic the behaviour of others as much as possible in situations where I know I'll need to keep people from thinking I'm so weird or such because it will have a negative impact on whatever I'm trying to achieve, and I've learned to stop so many of the things I used to do, but I wish more than anything that I'd had someone eval my situation as a child so I'd have known earlier, if indeed I am on the spectrum. I stopped my own damn hand-flapping so many years ago because I was told it meant I must have OCD, and I know I'm not- I know OCD people, I'm grateful I am not living with it. And then I read that yes, the reason it's difficult to eval an adult is that they've learned to mimic normal behaviour and hide their symptoms. But it's so exhausting at this point.

Unfortunately, I find myself giving up. I'm so tired. I've stopped trying to swim, because the idea of dealing with people is too much. I'm never on this forum anymore because my communications skills are no better online than in real life, and I clash with so many people unintentionally, and I really don't want to. Rather than continue to leave people flustered or frustrated, I'm going silent. I don't want that, either.

[gay-mermaid]

While i was originally diagnosed with adhd, the medication never worked. I noticed i have a LOT of symptoms of autism, and will be getting an autism screening soon

[TieDyedNereid]

I'm Autistic too. I got my diagnosis at age 26 in 2015. I actually blog about my experiences and whatever else at Autistic Faerie.

[Agent Dragon]

I was tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder a few years ago (back when it was still called Asperger’s) and they said I didn’t have it. I have a lot of autistic friends though. Nothing pisses me off more than when people use “autistic” and a synonym for “stupid.” I heard that a lot when I was in high school and I wanted to scream every time.


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[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

i thought i have already replied to this thread like as the first one when it was posted but apparently not but i am also on the spectrum for higher functioning autism but lower functioning than aspergers syndrome and my sister has been telling me about the morons using autism as a synonym for dumb or stupid and i do not appreciate it even online its like that i started homeschooling to stop getting bullied but there is so much ignorance in this world no one will ever know how fabulously different we are

[MermaidMermeron(Cameron)]

i thought i have already replied to this thread like as the first one when it was posted but apparently not but i am also on the spectrum for higher functioning autism but lower functioning than aspergers syndrome and my sister has been telling me about the morons using autism as a synonym for dumb or stupid and i do not appreciate it even online its like that i started homeschooling to stop getting bullied but there is so much ignorance in this world no one will ever know how fabulously different we are

and also my brother is lower functioning autism and he cant talk and he elopes/escapes the house and stuff... and he even goes to a special private school just for autism
and its expensive :P but if i where in public/private school i would share a room with other autistic children and he takes 1 on 1 and teachers assistaints and aids to care for him at school .................................................. ............















and we are besties

[vabs]

Not sure if I am, nor have any diagnosis.  Did have a couple of people inquire whether I had ADHD though.  If I did, I think I developed it based on the nature of the work I'd been doing for the past decade.  Hindsight, I think some asked because of the nature/nuture debate. My child is ADD. I think that diagnosis has really improved our relationship as well as caused me to grow and has definitely enabled me to relate more with others. It surprises me how our society under-utilizes all the information we have on ASD, ADHD, PDD, ODD, SPD, etc. and it's SUCH a wealth of information! Granted, I find I don't have as much patience for adults (mostly any driver that is in the left lane going slower than traffic, turning without a signal, driving faster/way slower than the posted speed limit, etc.) as I did even 5 years ago. Regardless, so long as we practice the golden rule, Dr. Seuss' saying is still true: those that matter don't mind, those that don't matter mind. Just take a breath and remember who matters. You have this and you can do it!

[AptaMer]

Just so you all know, Catherine Kim, a blogger with Asperger's, did a series of reviews on self-testing sites, starting here

https://musingsofanaspie.com/2012/11...he-aspie-quiz/

[vabs]

Interesting page, AptaMer! Thanks for the link!

[BlueCorvidae]

I've had a therapist and two doctors suggest that I may have it, but I've never pursued an official diagnosis. If I have it, it's not something that is driving me to hurt people or hinder my own life like bipolar or borderline personality disorder can. I have been diagnosed with ADD and I know I come across as a bit weird to people, and I got bad grades back in high school, but honestly on that front I don't really care. :0

[vabs]

I think you're on the nose with it - life evens out anyway! I'm not too worried about getting any diagnosis as I know enough about who I am, what I want in life and where we're going. I just have to make sure my 'to do' list is always made and ready to get done.

[deepblue]

TL;DR: I want a dx for my other doctors, but I'm not getting one so fine, and how about that deep touch pressure?

I want a diagnosis because it will affect the way the doctors who evaluate my disorders see them and the rest of the picture. I believe the whole picture is always a better place to come from. But unfortunately, as I've done research, there are a few things becoming more clear: 1. At my age, a diagnosis tends to rely heavily on hours of observation as well as a basic eval for behaviours. 2. This is because the older one gets, the more we learn to adapt to mimic so-called normal behaviour and traits. This is absolutely correct. Unfortunately, it obscures the observable behaviours that would confirm a diagnosis. And 3. My other diagnoses make it difficult to glean what is the result of the disorders that I live with vs the way I was born, ie., neuro-atypical, autism spectrum, etc.

For years I did not understand how one could 'have' Asperger's and still have certain other disorders. I really did not understand at all. A lot of research later, I do understand and it is much more clear. One is born neuro-atypical, it's a part of one's nature to be autistic if one is, wherever you may fall on the spectrum. Disorders such as the trauma-induced that I live with came later. I was confusing the former for something that happens later, somehow, or is the result of some outer force. Which is so very wrong- no, I never thought it was vaccines, not at all. I just did not understand and now I do. I was born neuro-atypical (and had a psychiatrist tell me she believed that I was, as well as two others mention that I baffled them due to various things that could actually be attributed to the autism spectrum.

However, I've given up on the idea of a diagnosis. No one will get back to me or they want a fortune. But it doesn't matter outside of wishing it were in my chart. I'm so relieved when I think of myself in this way- I'm okay, I'm just on the spectrum. There is nothing wrong with the way I communicate, or the way I need to do things. Yes, I've got pretty severe depression, and I have bad anxiety, but you learn to live with those overtime (at least that's the hope, and it's a constant challenge, but it hasn't taken me out yet), and I have PTSD and dissociative disorders because of trauma in childhood, but I started out neuro-atypical. I was the girl with the ridiculously strong sense of smell, hearing, and touch. Who hated to be touched, who was told to smile and never believed when I did say I was happy or grateful because it did not show. And now, as an adult, I'm only starting to unravel and unpeel all the layers I took upon myself to assimilate enough to maybe be understood, and it never really worked. So now I'm leaving performative emotions to when they are necessary, like a fluently known second language.

All that said, how many of you find that wearing a mermaid tail is like about the most comforting thing on the planet? That tightly wrapped feeling. I looked that up last year. Deep touch pressure. The same reason I love corsets. They make me feel stronger, and they calm me and then if I'm in the pressure long enough, it carries with me like a blissy afterglow for a while after the pressure is gone. My husband also somehow manages to wrap me in his embrace in such a way that brings me the same type of bliss, and after will tuck/wrap a blanket tightly around my legs and feet up to my shoulders. When I'm on the third day of heavy anxiety and the adrenaline taste has been in my mouth for days, this is the only thing that helps and makes it stop. (ps I can't take meds for anxiety or depression, or almost anything else.)

[NorthSeaAlaria]

Me too! I was diagnosed with ASD at 18 after a horrific time managing A Levels in sixth form and having to fight for an assessment the whole time.
I’d always struggled in school like hell but despite having learning mentors since I was in year 5, no one noticed what was really up. My old headmistress who’s a sort of family friend says it was probably because I still did pretty well in exams and was too quiet. I was always pushed to do my best when it mattered but was known to have major concentration issues. Hell I got the equivalent of about 14 or 15 GCSEs because my high school (despite being a terrible one) was ambitious as hell. Then at a different one for sixth form I had a stress breakdown and my psych teacher finally suggested something... except he said I might be bipolar and recommended medication. We went to the GP instead who waved that off immediately and said to see the educational psychologist, who set off the quest for an autism assessment. God if I hadn’t been able to get it when I did, I might not have made it through university let alone got a First.

It’s really nice to know there are plenty of mers with different disabilities. Out of my little pod all three of us have at least one condition or another! And since I’d had such bad luck trying to work as an official “employee” for some jobs in the past due to their not fully understanding, it feels so good to be my own boss now as a pro entertainer with my own business, even if it is just new.