B!TC# IT OUT!

[SeaGlass Siren]

I almost ragequit work today. wrote up a resignation letter and everything but i was having second thoughts. so i decided to ask my co worker (senior sales manager) for his opinion. he was genuinely shocked and asked why since i was fully committed to my work and getting things done. i told him the issues i was having with the other employees and how it's taking a toll emotionally. he then proceeded to give me fatherly advice. he was so nice about it. he told me not to because everywhere i go i'm going to encounter the same people and deal with the same emotional mental stress in some way shape or form. also the company is expanding and going through growth pains so if i can survive this it'll look good on my resume when i actually do quit.
i still wanted to quit but when it got to the end of the day we talked a little bit more to cheer myself up and he said "i'll see you tomorrow"

and then i changed my mind because i said i was gonna see him tomorrow and if i dont i'd be lying and have a guilty conscience i also said i was gonna organize his desk for him because he's been super nice to me. compared to the other assholes i have to deal with. i just dont know how long i'm gonna be able to put up with the growing pains and stupidity of workers who can't (literally) comprehend English, OR follow rules and procedures..

[Blaze]

Cancer f*cking sucks.

Just got word that my boss from my previous job passed away last night after a long battle with cancer. He was a great Boss, a wonderful Mentor and an AMAZING Man. One day soon I will go to NOLA and sit on a park bench and have fun in his name (one of his many wonderful stories).

Dammit.

[Echidna]

so sorry to hear.
many people I knew have also died to cancer, some quite young still.

sadly, due to the toxins in our environment everywhere, cancer rates are going to rise even more in the future.

[SeaMansa]

This is less angry and more introspective but oh well >> please allow me to vent
As usual I am sitting home today just doing my regular teenage guy things (*cough* reading, writing, tv, etc*) and I start thinking about my life and i just realized.... I am extremely unhappy. I mean, i have always had these thoughts before but today it really hits me and hurts me. I have friends but even surrounded by them, I always feel so alone. It sounds cliche but truly, i can say that nobody "gets" me. My family is very loving but we are all polar opposites. I am the black sheep of the family, ive always been the nerdy weird one and while i am glad to be that way (i would never want to be one of those jocky sports dude who just sling their things at every chick that walks by) I hate the fact that i just never feel....good about myself. I get good grades, I've been told i am creative, funny, and I have yet to have an english teacher that hasn't complimented me on my writing skills (excuse the errors that may be present in the post though). And yet, I just always feel so....down. My last relationship was 3 years ago and i spent the whole thing questioning why someone would EVER want to be with ME? To make it worse, I later found out that tons of people would ask the girl i was with at the time why she was dating me of all people because i was so...just not in her league, and that really hurt my self esteem which is already low as ever >>
I try to be happy and think about the future. But I really feel like my future is just as bleak as my present. I am in college majoring in film. I REALLY want to be a screenwriter. BUT I've slowly been learning through career research that it is very hard to make it in the film industry and that film degrees are virtually a waste of time. So I am pretty bummed and questioning whether i should keep at it or try something else. *sigh*
I hate the way I look and i hate the way i dress. And of course my family does nothing but criticize me about both. I am a very relaxed guy and i mainly only like to wear jeans and t-shirt and rarely do i go anywhere that calls for more than that. But at every turn they have something to say, i even overheard them laughing at me once about the fact that i am 19 and because of the way i dress, i look way younger (my weigh+height+clothing makes me look like i could go for maybe 16) and it just really hurts >> but i suck it up... Im no suicidal or anything (aint nobody got time fo dat) but i just needed to type all that out. No solutions needed.

[PearlieMae]

Yeah, you said no solutions needed, but too bad.

Fuck what everybody else thinks! Follow your dream and make every day an adventure! The future is what you make of it. Don't worry if it seems bleak, you have the power to change it. Ordinary People suck, so be the one to rise above mediocrity! BE fucking awesome!

Creative people never have an easy time of it, but the rewards are so worth it!

I know, what does some old lady know?

Turns out, she knows a lot.

[SINicallyTwisted]

So very annoyed right now. I just received an email about an appearance, which generally would be fine, only this was more on the lines of...

"We have this event in a week or so and we will need you there at this time."

No, 'hi how are you, would you be available to come to this event' or anything like that. Didn't even bother to asking! Just 'we need you at this time'.

Ummmm...WHAT!?!

[PearlieMae]

Double your fee for putting up with bad manners.

[SINicallyTwisted]

Double your fee for putting up with bad manners.

I can't help but think that if this is the level of "professionalism" in just the email alone, I can only imagine the level at the actual event itself, which makes me cringe at just the thought of it.


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[Seraphina Suds]

Is it someone you've worked with before? If not, they certainly have an entitlement issue! Even if you have worked with them in the past, still pushy. I like Pearlie's suggestion.

[SINicallyTwisted]

Is it someone you've worked with before? If not, they certainly have an entitlement issue! Even if you have worked with them in the past, still pushy. I like Pearlie's suggestion.

No but I do know OF this person and I know that there has been MANY complaints about unprofessional behavior at past (and recent) events. Also likes to go around telling/bragging/claiming to patrons at various events that I'm a "really good close friend" which is not even remotely close.

I replied declining this....request/demand?...as politely as possible.

[Seatan]

This is less angry and more introspective but oh well >> please allow me to vent
As usual I am sitting home today just doing my regular teenage guy things (*cough* reading, writing, tv, etc*) and I start thinking about my life and i just realized.... I am extremely unhappy.

Aw, SeaMage, I feel for you. Let me share something I learned when I was on a little island in Honduras this summer: You don't need anything to be happy. Real happiness is simply accepting that you have what you have and you are who you are and that you don't need ANYTHING else.

I was so depressed when I left for my trip on Utila, feeling like a failure who would never accomplish anything. I had lost my first teaching job, my house was like a trash dump, my fiance and I broke up last year leaving me almost thirty and single, I'd gotten in a fight with the owner of the horse I leased and lost him, I felt out of shape and disgusting... The list went on and on. Then I got to that island and saw all these people who just didn't CARE about ANY of that stuff, and it changed my viewpoint forever.

See, it's a pain in the butt to get anything TO the island, so nobody has anything to covet. People have what they have and they are happy with that. As long as they have food to eat and shelter to live in, life is good. Success is living life and enjoying it. There was no internet access, so no fancy tails or IKEA furniture to drool over. There were no big shops, so nothing to buy. Houses and cars and boats were all run down, but they worked and that was all anyone cared about. There was no sense of needing to GET THINGS DONE OMG RIGHT NOW, because the ocean and weather dictated when you could come and go places. Everything was done on "island time." It was a kind of relaxed I had never felt in my entire life, and I was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. Not because I was on an awesome vacation, but because it made me realize that being happy is simply a matter of enjoying what you have and being satisfied with it. If you are happy and satisfied with what you have now (and who you are), then anything good in the future will just make you MORE satisfied and happy, while any "down" moments are just learning experiences and you go right back to happy and satisfied--because as long as you have the basics to survive, there's nothing else you need. Just enjoy what you have--that's what those people do.

I don't know if this is a feeling you can get while being surrounded by the first world insanity that is America, but I wanted to share since it has been a LIFE CHANGER for me. Going someplace where people have NOTHING (compared to us possession hogs in America) and yet are so HAPPY was a serious wake up call. RING RING. "Hey there, Seavanna, guess what? TV and movies and magazines and Facebook ads and neighbors and friends and family--they have all been LYING to you. You don't need ANYTHING to be happy. All you need to be happy is to be satisfied and NOT WORRY about anything else." It's a glorious realization, even if it took me a trip to a third world country to come to it! I really hope you feel better in the future.

[coral_sybil]

I hate that I feel like I have to defend myself all the time, like I'm looked down as a lesser person because I attempt to be part of communities but I have a hard time communicating with people. Making them either take what I say out of contest, or they respond in a way that I feel like I'm being scolded and chastised for something I didn't do.

I hate that I even though I'm more than capable of living by myself and love doing so and laughing at my own horrible jokes. Society has bred within me the need to fit in somewhere or be able to make friends with people. Because we need each other apparently. So even when I'm by myself there is always that part of me that wonders what's wrong with me to the point that while I can giggle by myself and have no need to talk outloud unless having full on existential and philosophical debate with myself, I cannot keep myself from talking about how I'm talking to myself in public for no other reason than I just cannot handle the fact that I am near them.. And they are near me. And I cannot just go up and ask them their life story and listen from beginning to end so I can try to understand them more. I cannot go and take a scientific or philosophic look into a strangers life over coffee because that is not acceptable.

I cannot horse around with my cousins and my siblings without people looking at me like I'm a creeper because of the dark circles under my eyes and my frizzy hair. Which looks like that because I am up late trying to meet the needs of my roommates and my hair because screw humidity. I was that child that would have my hair sticking to the sides of the slide. It's frizzy, yes, but it's thick and healthy enough to be donated to making wigs. But no one would ask that. But no, of course I must either be mentally handicapped because I can totally get what the children are talking about, or I must be someone out to prey on them just because of how I look. It has nothing to do with the fact that the sillier you are the more children laugh at you.

I am sick of having to second guess every thought I have and wondering if it's caused by the mores of society and the norms associated within the culture I grew up in? Am I acting in a way like my family in a strong patriarchal sense? Am I objectifying women because that's how I was taught to perceive myself worth? Am I angry because I don't feel like I'm getting my share or am I angry because I want to be or am I angry because I have every right to be angry?

I hate that even moment I feel passionate I look insane and every moment I am lost in thought I am accused of looking violent. I hate that every second of my waking day is filled with doubt and questions and when I have a moment where I think I'm fine and that I have found the level of kooky that people can deal with I am proven wrong or another element has been added to the equation.

I can try to understand but the more I try to understand the crazier I look to others and the more I depress those closest to me with my observations. Even if it means being the youngest roommate and getting the landlords to keep up their end of the bargain, it still makes me feel so claustrophobic.

[SINicallyTwisted]

So my issue turned out a bit horrid. I replied to the request/demand/assumption/whatever it is of me being at an event that I know no information about, politely as possible declining it and I received a reply which was basically "I have already told people you were going to appear! YOU have to be there!"



So I replied again and again I'm trying to keep my cool and be as polite as possible. In my reply I mentioned fees and I got the whole "Fee? Why should I pay you? We're friends! Why would charge me?" blah blah blah all the way down to...

"It would be great exposure for you!" <---- really hates that line!



Now I've meet this person a few times at different events but not ever really kept in touch beyond that and this is the first time dealing with this person on a business level. If you would even consider this shipwreck anything business like. I'm now understanding why there have been complaints since I'm dealing with it first hand.

How do I politely say...just because you come up to me at some events and say hi to me, does not make me your bestie!

I don't want to come across as Ms. Crabby Diva Fins but right now I really want to punch this person in the throat at next sighting.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Tell them that they should have booked you formally or asked you as a friend, since they did neither. It wasn't professional or friendly so....


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[coral_sybil]

How do I politely say...just because you come up to me at some events and say hi to me, does not make me your bestie!

I don't want to come across as Ms. Crabby Diva Fins but right now I really want to punch this person in the throat at next sighting.

Most of the friends I know who do things (leather binding books, palm reading, etc) when it comes to setting up events it's a matter of 'this is what I do for a living'. Most friends will understand, and those that don't simply aren't your friends or don't understand.

If they do pull that on you, the stuff of you shouldn't charge them. I'd talk Wesley's advice, but just remember to use you best grownup/professional voice in the matter.

[PearlieMae]

Go totally pro on her. Tell her 'I'm sorry, you didn't contact me about scheduling an appearance, we haven't gone over logistics and you haven't even signed a contract. If I HAD been properly scheduled, I would have given you advertising materials to be included in your promotions. If you want me to appear at your function with this little notice, my fee is doubled (YES, I said DOUBLED); you will need to provide proof of event insurance; and I will need the following items upon my arrival (outline what you want for lunch, a bucket of iced bottles of water, etc...). You shouldn't have told anyone I was already going to be there without a signed contract, and at this point, I am under no obligation to appear at your event. And a friend would have already known this.'

As for "great exposure for you" (I get that all the time when asked to photograph), say 'I have all the exposure I need, thank you, and when I need more exposure, my marketing team handles that. Have a nice day! '

[Raayvhen]

I agree 100% with Pearlie.


Also, I heard about the fire in Lowell. I hope you weren't affected in any way. (You, family, friends...)

[SeaGlass Siren]

Pearlie needs a standing ovation. totally agree with everything she said.

[Talia]

Go totally pro on her. Tell her 'I'm sorry, you didn't contact me about scheduling an appearance, we haven't gone over logistics and you haven't even signed a contract. If I HAD been properly scheduled, I would have given you advertising materials to be included in your promotions. If you want me to appear at your function with this little notice, my fee is doubled (YES, I said DOUBLED); you will need to provide proof of event insurance; and I will need the following items upon my arrival (outline what you want for lunch, a bucket of iced bottles of water, etc...). You shouldn't have told anyone I was already going to be there without a signed contract, and at this point, I am under no obligation to appear at your event. And a friend would have already known this.'

As for "great exposure for you" (I get that all the time when asked to photograph), say 'I have all the exposure I need, thank you, and when I need more exposure, my marketing team handles that. Have a nice day! '

ROCK ON!

[SeaMansa]

So I was in standing outside the car with my uncle today (it was parked) and whilst speaking to him, he literally whips it out and starts pissing in front of me -.- WHO DOES THAT!!! THATS DISGUSTING!!!!!!! And what makes it worse? He DOES IT TWICE!!!!!!!!!!! I was standing there like "Oh. My. God. >_> *stares at everything in the opposite direction* I swear people, family shouldn't be that close. Like there was a bathroom, ya know >>