B!TC# IT OUT!

[Mermaid Freyja]

I hate crazy customers..... Lady calls the front desk and gets transferred to me. I answer her question, which she apparently didn't like the answer to, so she hung up on me. Before I could even walk away from the phone, she calls back, this time to my phone, and asks where she can file a customer complaint. Smh.

WTF?! How on earth did she think hanging up on you would solve the problem?
I've had customers like that in the past, and even coworkers. It's like; "oh hey, my car is on fire. I'm going to get out, run around it a few times, then get back in it and hope it puts itself out...why is this not working?!"

[Mermaid Momo]

That moment when the Starbucks barista turns to you right in front of your Deaf friend and says. "Oh thank god you know how to sign. I had no idea what she wanted a minute ago."

This always makes me want to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that?"

Seriously, guys, it's called paper and pen. If you don't get it, use it.

I get it, it was sort of rude to say it that way, but you also have to realize that cashiers don't always have a pen and paper. When I worked at Mcdonalds, the only paper around was the receipts and there wasn't a pen anywhere to be seen most of the time. The barista was probably really really relived that someone who could help was there, because cashiers and baristas, have to work fast and the registers can see how long you're taking to take a transaction so she was probably worried that she may take a very long time which could get her/him penalized or even fired for being too slow.
When I worked at Mdconalds I encountered only one deaf person, we didn't have any pen or paper in sight and I panicked. What was going through my head was "oh my god, we have a full house, people are already getting antsy from being in line a while, and now I don't have any way to communicate with her, Can she red lips? how can I give her fast service but also not be rude and also not catch the attention of my manager for being slow?" Thankfully we have these placemats with nutritional info on it and I pulled that up and had her point to what she wanted and hold up fingers for the amounts, I still did get a stern talking to for taking too long with the order and holding up the line, even though she (the deaf woman) was happy with my service.
Yeah, I get it's rude to talk about a person as if they aren't there (I tried to avoid doing that, If I absolutely had to talk to someone else, I'd look at whoever was assisting then back to the original customer for a nod or something to say go ahead), but if there is no other way for the barista to communicate with your friend, they have to make do with hoping that someone accompanying them can help.

[Mermaid Momo]

I understand that people don't always know how to deal with Deaf people, but circumstances like that put me in a really bad situation as it is not considered appropriate in the Deaf community for a hearie to "help" someone communicate unless they have specifically requested that you interpret. So I tend to be stuck in the middle with my friend next to me having no idea she is being talked about as if she is not there and a server/waiter/barista/whatever who has never met Deaf people before and therefore had no knowledge of their strong sense of self reliance and independence--aka, they don't know they have just made a huge Deaf faux pas and so you can't really get upset with them for their ignorance ofDeaf culture.

so what to do? I usually shrug and just say " only a little," even tho I am fully capable of interpreting a coffee order.

I get ya here, I have a blind friend who also has such a strong sense of self reliance (I'm only partly blind myself so I can't really relate to why she has it but I guess she gets tired of people babying her) But it's also considered rude to try and help her with something and she doesn't ask, though eventually she'll ask (after a very long while) vs. me asking almost immediately if I realize that it's related to not being able to see as well as other people can. I've tried opening her up to more help though (like getting help reading menus, finding the right doors, etc)

[Seraphina Suds]

I'm a supervisor at Starbucks. There are always pens or Sharpies available, we're supposed to keep them in our apron. And receipt paper is easy to print out at the register for writing on. Maybe the barista was new and panicky, but I'm sure there were other communication options for them. Even pointing at the menu and holding up cup sizes. We get a lot of tourists in my area and they often have trouble expressing what they want in English. Not quite the sane situation, but similar enough that I know the barista could have done more than it sounds like they did. We're also lucky enough to not be timed on the cafe registers (drive thru is a different monster). But the pressure from uppity spoiled customers who haven't had their morning addiction yet can make you want to rush. So I can easily see both sides of the argument here.

[Miyu]

Starbucks employees ALWAYS have pens/Sharpies - they write people's names on every cup! Receipt paper is totally acceptable as a type of paper, especially in an "emergency".

I worked at a Seattle's Best Coffee cafe as my first job, and I've had to serve deaf customers. I never had to get help from someone who signs to be able to take a deaf customer's order.


But who knows, she may have been super-new or something. I sure hope so, because communicating with deaf people in face-to-face business is a very common thing, and she needs to learn how to properly communicate if she's going to stay in barista/retail business!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I'm a supervisor at Starbucks. There are always pens or Sharpies available, we're supposed to keep them in our apron. And receipt paper is easy to print out at the register for writing on. Maybe the barista was new and panicky, but I'm sure there were other communication options for them. Even pointing at the menu and holding up cup sizes. We get a lot of tourists in my area and they often have trouble expressing what they want in English. Not quite the sane situation, but similar enough that I know the barista could have done more than it sounds like they did. We're also lucky enough to not be timed on the cafe registers (drive thru is a different monster). But the pressure from uppity spoiled customers who haven't had their morning addiction yet can make you want to rush. So I can easily see both sides of the argument here.

Definitely. I've been a barista at a S-Bux and people can get NASTY to you. You have a Sharpie glued to your hand the whole day, but after a shift of rudeness, you kind of lose your sense of decency as well a little. Even worse, you get a cool customer who isn't a dick, and you're so happy to help them out, and there's some reason you can't do it, and everything falls apart. In a job like that, a lot of the action is kind of robotic. You have to get in a "zone" to get through it. When something throws that off and you have to break out of your carefully orchestrated routine, it's like you're suddenly roller skating on ice. That person was most likely not trying to be rude at all, and might have face palmed later when they thought back, and in any other situation would have reacted much better. I don't know if that's the case for that particular person, but your friend might get that a lot in those situations, and a large percentage of the time, that could be why.

[Raayvhen]

This lady got pissed at me yesterday for my manager telling me too give store credit instead of cash for an empty moisturizer without a receipt. At least that's the only bad experience I've had at Sephora. Granted it was day two.

[Seatan]

I get ya here, I have a blind friend who also has such a strong sense of self reliance (I'm only partly blind myself so I can't really relate to why she has it but I guess she gets tired of people babying her) But it's also considered rude to try and help her with something and she doesn't ask, though eventually she'll ask (after a very long while) vs. me asking almost immediately if I realize that it's related to not being able to see as well as other people can. I've tried opening her up to more help though (like getting help reading menus, finding the right doors, etc)

It's a major thing in the Deaf culture. You do NOT play interpreter for capital D Deaf people without their permission--you would lose all the respect you have from them.

I'm not hating ON the barista, just the fact that people's ignorance about Deaf people puts me in very uncomfortable postions quite often. And no, speechreading is not an option for most Deaf people as it is very difficult to read words on people's lips--but why would you need to speechread at a McDonald's? You both know what they are there for, and if your boss has a problem with taking an extra moment to allow a Deaf person to write something down then I suggest that she take a good, hard look at the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Deaf people are very capable of getting around in life--the problem is mostly hearing people freaking out when they realize that they are dealing with someone Deaf. Why do Hearing people freak? Because they are under the false impression that being Deaf means that you need to somehow treat that person differently and they do not know what they are supposed to do. The answer? Relax and let the Deaf person tell you what you are supposed to do--they have spent their whole lives expressing to Hearing people what they do or do not want. Trust me, I could write a post the size of Moby Dick on the Hearing world's perception of Deaf people in this section, because it drives me nuts. My friend went to vote at the midterms and they wouldn't let him vote on the computer because they thought he was intellectually disabled and needed someone to help him fill out a paper ballot, even after he told them he was just Deaf. He is an IT person. But yeah... Too long of a rant for this post, LOL. But like I said, not really hating on the barista--just the fact that I so often get stuck in the difficult position of Hearing people expecting me to interpret as the "easy way" of communicating with Deaf people instead of interacting with the Deaf people themselves.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Well said Seavanna.

[PhaylennMurúch]

If the barista was new, or has never served a deaf customer, they very well might have been in full on panic mode. The training modules talk about extra service at the hand-off plane but not so much how to handle a deaf customer. Especially now with training being cut so far down. When I went through training it took over a month and included freaking seminars at our city HQ. Now training is like a week and a half, tops. DH is a shift supervisor and his crew is pretty much all new hires, there is SO much that gets dropped on them that they didn't train for. The last store meeting the manager had him do a quick lesson in how to read ASL and how to sign responses pertaining to coffee.
Heck, I worked at Sbux for years and never once had a deaf customer, plenty of tourists and transplants with heavy accents, but not a single deaf person

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Yeah, most people never get the opportunity to interact with deaf or blind people ever in their daily lives. So, they really, literally have no idea how to react, and have never been in a situation where they could learn. Common sense says to let the deaf person lead and show you what they need, but common sense only comes into play when a situation is common. People aren't trying to be jerks, and I know it's annoying— they're just plain ignorant. At least ignorance can be fixed. Being a jerk is harder to reverse. But still, when your daily existence consists of dealing with ignorant people, that's the worst.

[deepblue]

Gah that has got to be so frustrating for a deaf person. They must run into the 'never dealt with anyone deaf' servers, clerks, etc., all the time. I was in retail for 16 years, and never had one deaf customer. Same with being in the corporate world, never had even one interaction with someone who was deaf.

Oh eta- not entirely so, recalling when I worked for Nordstrom mail order and I was the one who was trained to use the machine TTY, and even with that, I only recall having had one call from a customer on it. Just one, that's it. And that's not in person, and on a device intended for deaf people to contact you on, so there were no expectations of speech.

I already told my daughter I want her to take ASL one day so she can talk with more people. But it's probably on my mind because I know a man who has a genetic deafness, he only recently had cochlear implants which worked for him. But his son has a 50/50 chance of losing his hearing by the time he's in his 20s, too.

[PearlieMae]

I have made so many faux pas' in this arena...I asked a deaf man if anyone called while we were out (my boyfriend's dad), I even signed my question and didn't realize my mistake until he shrugged and laughed. I insisted on turning on lights for a blind piano tuner (long story...he had to tell me it was ok, he was blind). And once, I asked a one-armed man if I could lend a hand.

'Lefty' and I did have a good laugh about it.

I do think everyone needs to lighten up.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

My sister and I were in a "mall" together. It was the tiniest mall ever, and I was joking and told her to hold my hand so she wouldn't get lost. She said, "Please, a one-legged man couldn't work up a sweat getting around here." I just looked at her, and pointed over her shoulder, where a one-legged man was glaring at her. She had no idea he was there. The mall was empty otherwise. She was so horrified, she just took off and I've never seen anybody run that fast.

[Mermaid Lilium]

My sister and I were in a "mall" together. It was the tiniest mall ever, and I was joking and told her to hold my hand so she wouldn't get lost. She said, "Please, a one-legged man couldn't work up a sweat getting around here." I just looked at her, and pointed over her shoulder, where a one-legged man was glaring at her. She had no idea he was there. The mall was empty otherwise. She was so horrified, she just took off and I've never seen anybody run that fast.

*crying with politically incorrect laughter* oh my gosh I feel so bad but that's bloody hilarious xD I'm laid in bed sick at the moment nearly loosing my voice at times so it was funny-sounding laughter too :P

[PearlieMae]

Hahahahahaa!

I did the same thing driving around a group of people trying to get a huge snapping turtle out of the road. I was driving a convertible and said "Look out, it'll take your arm off!' And the man with the pool skimmer stood up to reveal his articulated hook!

When I got to my friend's house (which was nearby), she said "That's probably Steve. He lives across the street." I hid all afternoon.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

So, my live-in boyfriend (and only mertender) broke up with me last night. He said that he can't handle my mood swings (I'm bipolar, and do take a TON of medications to balance my moods), and all I do is drag him down whenever I have a major meltdown. His family urged for him to break up with me, so he did.

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Never mind the fact that I came home from a 13 hr shift and find half of his stuff unexpectedly packed up in his car before he explained anything.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Don't let him come back. If he can't accept you for who you are, he's not worth the energy.

[Meronica]

Screw him. Really. Cut all contact and move on.

You're probably super bummed out right now but it sounds to me like you dodged a bullet here. He sounds like an egocentric imbecile and your life is too precious to waste on someone that can't look beyond themselves.

[Starfrit]

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Pardon my language, but: Fuck him with the wide end of a spiny conch! He MAY consider it?? As if he'd be doing YOU some sort of favor? And WOW at him expecting you to lose weight for him!

He seems shallow. Like, step-in-a-puddle-of-him-and-not-get-your-feet-wet kind of shallow. If that's the way he's going to treat you, on top of not even trying to discuss it with you? You're way better off, to be honest.

I agree with Jaffa and Meronica; even if six months down the road he decides you've "improved" enough for his shallow, selfish standards— Tell him to take a nice long walk off a short pier. You don't need a gross flake like that in your life and you can find someone else who will accept you for who you are!

Lots of long-distance hugs in the meantime, if you want them. <3 Breakups are super rough, but I'm sure you'll bounce back with a vengeance! If you ever need someone to talk to or vent at, you can drop me a line if it'll help!