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Thread: B!TC# IT OUT!

  1. #2501
    I married the nice boy. They're husband material. I ditched the bad boy because I don't want to commit to a short term relationship.

  2. #2502
    Quote Originally Posted by Meronica View Post
    Honestly I don't think that any healthy-minded girl wants a jerk boyfriend. They're probably just saying that you're "too nice" because they value your friendship but aren't romantically/sexually attracted to you.

    I don't like this idea going around that women want to "tame the bad boy" and "nice guys finish last". If any guy is disrespectful to me I cut them off no matter how good looking they are. Likewise, if I'm not attracted to them but they're a nice person, I will accept them as a friend but there is no reason why I should feel guilty about not wanting to date them.
    I agree super hard with this.

    And as an add on, I think what originally was said by his two friends might have been a misunderstanding. I highly doubt they want a guy whom will call them names and such. I think when they said rude what they PROBABLY meant was someone CAPABLE of being rude in general. Like, if someone mistreated them or the guy they would want to know that the guy is not 'too nice' to just stand by and let it happen. Plus, I think there is this internal reasoning screwed into a lot of women's minds that if they don't want to date a guy then they can't just say 'I don't feel attracted to you' they have to give a reason WHY they aren't attracted to someone, at least that is something I feel is drilled into a lot of ladies. So by saying he is 'too nice' they thought it was the best way to say they were not interested and yet still have some form of a reason.

    But, I wasn't there so whom knows what they meant. All in all though, no matter what they said being a jerk is very unlikely to get anyone a relationship (or at least one that is not HELLA f*cked up) so I suggest just staying nice and then an equally nice person will come along also, if you aren't interested in these girls then there is no need to worry about them thinking you are too nice because well, that's probably a good thing because you are not interested in them anyway ^^
    User formerly known as "LittleBlue222".

  3. #2503
    oh man, I dunno what brought this to mind but I remember once I was at a convention and I actually dressed up and I was waiting for My husband to come back from somewhere. I was waiting by this group of people and I heard this one guy say, 'watch this', which honestly I should have realized something was fishy about that, because he immediately walked over to me and said, 'hey great costume' and held up his hand for a high five.

    I should have known better but I guess I was just trying to be nice so I lifted my hand and he did the fake out high-five thing and got right up in my face yelling, "PSYCH". I was surprisingly shocked, first of all because for some reason the closeness of his face coupled with the anger in his voice just, I just IMMEDIATELY felt horrible. He just kinda walked back over to his friends, however I did appreciate that one of the girls that was with him leaned in and said, "I'm sorry about that, he's an a**hole."

    I remember being so angry, this complete stranger decided to approach me and just, it has bugged me for so long, and what is worse I heard him say, 'watch this' and I have seen enough TV to know when someone says that carp you need to get the heck away from them because they are about to do something dangerous or mean, But I went and lifted my hand anyway.

    this was actually over a year ago and it still bothers me. This convention was the first one I spent with my husband where we actually stayed the whole weekend. I dunno, I just had such a problem with this gross dude-bro coming up to me and just putting bad vibes on me for no reason at all, I mean, no one laughed at what he did, HE didn't even laugh! It was like the ONLY purpose of that interaction was to make me feel bad about myself, and what was worse was I was completely alone so when he leaned in for a split second I thought he might try to hit me and I just...I ended up having an anxiety attack for I dunno how long after that.

    I know logically it was not a big deal, but every now and again I think about it and it still upsets me.
    Last edited by Mermaid Lunette; 12-01-2014 at 08:52 PM.
    User formerly known as "LittleBlue222".

  4. #2504
    Senior Member Undisclosed Pod
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    Fifi she messaged me I ignored

  5. #2505
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren View Post
    I married the nice boy. They're husband material. I ditched the bad boy because I don't want to commit to a short term relationship.
    That is one of the things I love about my man, he is the kindest man. So nice, and yet not a pushover, and actually pretty intimidating to some because of his size. But to me, and my child, he's been the sweetest, most thoughtful man I've ever known. SCORE.

  6. #2506
    Senior Member Pod of Oceania Mermaid Leira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meronica View Post
    Honestly I don't think that any healthy-minded girl wants a jerk boyfriend. They're probably just saying that you're "too nice" because they value your friendship but aren't romantically/sexually attracted to you.

    I don't like this idea going around that women want to "tame the bad boy" and "nice guys finish last". If any guy is disrespectful to me I cut them off no matter how good looking they are. Likewise, if I'm not attracted to them but they're a nice person, I will accept them as a friend but there is no reason why I should feel guilty about not wanting to date them.
    I LOVE this. Talk about keeping it simple, you sure have your head screwed on Meronica

  7. #2507
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    annnndddd.....I got a flasher on the train into the city this morning.

    Nothing too dramatic. Just a 30 something guy, with his fly undone and no underpants on. I paid no attention to him, because if he was a true flasher he'd like the humiliation, and perhaps he simply forgot to do his fly up (it happens).

    Nope, as soon as a dude came to sit next to him (he was across from me) he promptly made to move his backpack well over his crotch.

    Indeed.

  8. #2508
    Senior Member North Pacific Pod Miyu's Avatar
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    Eeww, that sucks Annwyn Boys (no matter their physical age) and their willies can be so weird sometimes...

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  9. #2509
    Senior Member Pod of Texas Naufra's Avatar
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    The "bad boy" thing is bull carp. I never stay with men who treat me poorly, and I firmly believe that no one should stay with a romantic partner that treats them poorly. I treat my partners with respect and dignity, and I demand the same in return.
    User formerly known as "Zicoxite".


  10. #2510
    Quote Originally Posted by Naufra View Post
    The "bad boy" thing is bull carp. I never stay with men who treat me poorly, and I firmly believe that no one should stay with a romantic partner that treats them poorly. I treat my partners with respect and dignity, and I demand the same in return.
    IDK, I am always good and usually just get walked over and only been in 2 relationships, the longest was 6 months.

  11. #2511
    Senior Member Pod of Texas Naufra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flyer2002 View Post
    IDK, I am always good and usually just get walked over and only been in 2 relationships, the longest was 6 months.
    Sweetheart, the moment you realize that you're being used as a doormat is the moment you should rethink your relationship. First offense, discuss it with your partner civilly. Second offense, remind your partner of the conversation about the first offense and explain that this is a similar situation. Third offense, walk out the door.
    User formerly known as "Zicoxite".


  12. #2512
    Senior Member North Pacific Pod Miyu's Avatar
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    I agree. There is indeed a place in the world for "good guys". That link Melaina posted on the last page is pretty dang accurate - girls don't want a long-term relationship with a "bad boy". I, myself, prefer "good guys" with a little bit of a bad side to them... As in, someone who is really nice but looks "bad", or someone who is actually a complete gentleman/woman but who likes to play with darker roles in good fun.

    Build up your confidence, any way you can! Confidence is the #1 thing girls like more about "bad guys" than "good guys"... Bad boys just tend to have more of it!

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  13. #2513
    Quote Originally Posted by Naufra View Post
    Sweetheart, the moment you realize that you're being used as a doormat is the moment you should rethink your relationship. First offense, discuss it with your partner civilly. Second offense, remind your partner of the conversation about the first offense and explain that this is a similar situation. Third offense, walk out the door.

    Oh I wasn't talking those relationships in specific, just in general I have been told and am overly trusting and gullible. Don't have much social life experience so I always assume the best and not realize when I am getting played until later when someone else tells me. Its also some of letting "friends" do that so they will be my friend.
    The relationships themselves had their own issues. The first one (lasted 2 months) ended because I didn't love the girl bad because my heart was still after my best friend in college who hurt me a lot and had no interested in me. We started dating because partially because I was so alone I would basically settle for anyone who would want me and hope as I got to know her we would get close. She was also way more into sex than I was and not knowing what I was doing, the antidepressants I was on, and not being in love with her, well losing my virginity was really not what they make it sound like on TV.

    The second girl who I dated for about 5 or 6 months was a better match and I developed a little more interest in her but then when I didn't see her for 3 months I didn't miss her at all (still had feelings for the girl from college (still do and I haven't seen her in 4 years)).

    And I just started watching UP. Probably not a good time to do that after writing this.

  14. #2514
    Well nice doesn't always equal pushover. Especially when it comes to me. I already hate people (I'm not a social person at all) and I'll be damned if anyone thinks they could walk over me or use me whether they be male female, girlfriend, wife or otherwise. But even so, I try to be nice, respectable, polite, and there is no one who knows me who could say I am anything other than that. Its just surprising that that kind of thinking is even a thing. At the end of the day, I just hope they all find what they are looking for and whoever that is, I hope they get treated with respect.
    As far ad previous relationships go, for me, I was never a pushover, jealous, overbearing, or anything like that. My last girlfriend actually got miffed at me because I didn't care that she wanted to go to the movies with her (male) best friend. I honestly didn't think that was something I needed to like, give permission for or something, but according to her I should be concerned about her and other guys. Meanwhile I'm just standing there like... Oh, well excuse me for having trust in you and faith in our relationship. I guess a ruder, bad boy guy would have forbid her going anywhere with another guy or something? Idk. Just went off a tangent there for some reason lol
    Up From The Sea, We Rise
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  15. #2515
    Senior Member Pod of Cali Meronica's Avatar
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    Seamage, it sounds like she was the insecure one and projecting those feelings onto you. Life is too short to play games like that. -___-

    Most of my close friends are guys (for no reason, that's just how it worked out), and my boyfriend has befriended all of them and has them in the "bro-zone". There are definitely better ways to handle that situation than how your ex did.

  16. #2516
    Senior Member Euro Pod CowgirlMermaid's Avatar
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    What do I do?
    So a few weeks ago, some guy here wanted to do to free design drawings for members. So having sketched my dreamtail design so many times and not seeing the perfect one anymore, I asked him to try it and keep the design a secret since I did not wanted someone to come up with a similar design. . He did and showed me a rough sketch. I approved and he started on the detailed version. Then it was silent for 2 weeks, so I sent a mail and asked how it was going, and he said everything was going allright and the designs were almost finished. Then another silence for 2 weeks. So 2 days ago I mailed again. Turns out I don't get to see the design for over a year, because his art teacher wants to splace them on display for other people to see! I asked him to keep them a secret! Why on earth would he shown MY dreamtail to the rest of the world! What do I do? I'm really sad, disappointed, frustrated and angry right now. I don't want someone else taking my dream design....

    (This below is my signature)

    Sewing scales on my tail!
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    16 Orange!
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  17. #2517
    Flyer I think that your problem is that you're hung up on an ideal. Your best friend in college wanted to be your best friend but you wanted something more. Release that 'relationship what if' because if you don't you will end up comparing every other relationship to it
    Take the wave now and know that you're free
    Turn your back on the land face the sea
    Face the wind now so wild and so strong
    When you think of me
    Wave to me and send me a song

  18. #2518
    Quote Originally Posted by PhaylennMurúch View Post
    Flyer I think that your problem is that you're hung up on an ideal. Your best friend in college wanted to be your best friend but you wanted something more. Release that 'relationship what if' because if you don't you will end up comparing every other relationship to it
    Yea I am defiantly more hung up on the idea of my college friend than the actual her. In my mind she was nicer and actually wanted to be friends, not just a friend because of pity (which she has said is the reason she first became my friend).
    I have been trying to release it for years but so far to no success. Last summer while working at the pool became friends with a coworker and now I consider her my best friend. We both have expressed we like each other more than just friends (came up when she was saying how she doesn't think she will ever get married because she doesn't think she is attractive). Now I think about her more than the friend in college but she lives 2 states away and because of her age (16) my mom and my councilor do not like me being friends with out of worry her parents might say I did something and I get put on the sex offender registry.

  19. #2519
    it's called Jailbait for a reason, be friends with her but hold off on anything more (even online) emotional until she graduates, kwim?

    I've found, in my work, that a lot of people who can't release an old relationship are focusing on releasing the person rather than the resentment that came out of it. My first BF (and only EX) tried to run me down with his car during the breakup, it took me years to recover from his abuse and longer to just let go because I resented the hell out of him and what his actions did to my life. Once I let go of the resentment things got much clearer
    Take the wave now and know that you're free
    Turn your back on the land face the sea
    Face the wind now so wild and so strong
    When you think of me
    Wave to me and send me a song

  20. #2520
    Quote Originally Posted by PhaylennMurúch View Post
    it's called Jailbait for a reason, be friends with her but hold off on anything more (even online) emotional until she graduates, kwim?

    I've found, in my work, that a lot of people who can't release an old relationship are focusing on releasing the person rather than the resentment that came out of it. My first BF (and only EX) tried to run me down with his car during the breakup, it took me years to recover from his abuse and longer to just let go because I resented the hell out of him and what his actions did to my life. Once I let go of the resentment things got much clearer
    Yep that is what we are doing.

    He tried to run you down!? Thats insane! People like that need to come with a warning sign: WARNING! This person is NUTS!

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