B!TC# IT OUT!

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Darn.

[SeaGlass Siren]

thankfully i can still go in and work. whenever someone loses a voice, we never pass up the opportunity to say (er.. show them a note that says) "the sea witch ursula stole our voice, but we can still assist!"

[Sabrina the Selkie]

That is fantastic. XD

[SeaGlass Siren]

the best part is i'm known as their residential mermaid. so they are gonna flip their tail feathers. :P

[Merman Chatfish]

My manager isn't to happy with me...normally I am an assistant manager but sometimes I guard and when I guard I have cleaning duties at night. Tonight I was to do concessions and took an hour to do what others do in 10-15 minutes (hose down the area and lay down soap). I am not sure why I am so much slower, the other two times I was a guard each of those chores (cleaning bathrooms) also took 2 to 3 times as long. Granted last week in the women's I hit dirt under the toilets I don't think anyone has done, and I did do a little extra tonight since the area was still dirty from last weeks flooding, but I don't think it should take 50 minutes longer than normal. Not sure what I am doing wrong.

[Starfrit]

So this past week's been an absolute nightmare, and thanks to finally just getting fed up and drinking myself into a coma on Saturday night I barely remember that much of it.

Work sucks, I'm working my ass off and taking as many hours as my boss is able to give me and I still can't afford my rent. I just sent my boyfriend every cent I had and I'm still short. Bear in mind I got paid on Friday, so now I'm going two weeks-- yet again-- without any money for groceries, and it's likely my next paycheck's going to get swallowed up entirely by bills and the rest of the money I owe for rent, too. :T My boyfriend's got a way better job with more hours and better pay (like, twice as much as what I make) so he has no problem covering for me and buying the groceries, but I hate having to rely on him so much. He says he doesn't mind because he knows I'll pay him back when I can, but I feel like a huge burden.

I'm only getting about 30 hours a week, and I'm working extra hard in the hopes that my boss will give me more hours, but it just isn't happening... It doesn't help that work is so slow anyway that there are times when everything's prepped, everything's cleaned, and there's nothing else to do so we're just... sitting around waiting for customers to show up.

I work 12-8 so I feel like I have no time during the day to go out and actually do anything with friends on the days that I'm working, which only adds to my chronic depression, and then on the days I actually have off, I'm so depressed I can barely get out of bed, much less leave the damn house.

Do you know how many times I've actually gotten to swim in my brand-new, gorgeous, perfect tail? Once. Almost two months ago. I can never get to the pool for the public swims, and with the way work's been going I can't even afford the admission fee into the pool anyway. My tail is hanging in the closet and I can't do anything with it and it's killing me. Yeah, the weather's getting warmer which means the water's getting warmer, but this stupid island's climate is so fucked up that one day it can be 25 degrees and gorgeous out, the next day it's less than 10 degrees and it's grey and cloudy and miserable. Guess which days I end up working on and which days I'm off? I'll give you a hint: I'm wearing two sweaters and a housecoat on the days I'm actually off.

Plus, the only swimmable river I could even bring my tail to is nearly half an hour out of St. John's... So I'd need my boyfriend to drive me there, and he works more often than I do so that's even harder to plan, especially when you barely know what the weather's going to be like thanks to how often it fuckin' changes.

It's just so frustrating, and nothing seems to be working out. It got to the point on Friday when I saw how pathetic my paycheck was that I was scared I was going to end up having to sell my tail just to be able to afford basic shit, and it broke my heart. I've since convinced myself that I won't have to, but the thought keeps creeping back.

Last Tuesday I was so just generally depressed about everything going on right now that I went to bed at 11:30 Monday night, and didn't get out of bed until 6:30pm Tuesday night. And even then the only reason I got up was because Dave came home from work, found out I'd been in bed all day and hadn't eaten or drank anything, and dragged me out to force some toast into me and try to cheer me up. It helped, which is something, but not by very much.

So yeah, that's pretty much why I've been so quiet on MN lately. I haven't been in a great state.

[Echidna]

I found one of the pills lying around on the floor that can kill a small child or a pet.
AGAIN.
The last time, my little one escaped death by a hair's breath.

I've been freaking the entire night about it, crawling around in every corner and looking with a flashlight to see if more of those tiny deadly buggers are lost.
Both my parents take loads of these meds, and despite all my pleas to be careful with them and only take it inside a room where no little ones have access to, it happened again.

I'm sad and freaked and desperate.
I wish I could pack my things and be out of here, but I'm stuck in this house.
And I cannot be around and look after my forgetful parents 24 hours every day.

Worst thing is, if someone finally dies, I know what they will do.
They'll be "so sorry!" and be careful for about 3 days, and then it's all back to "normal".

I wonder how I ever managed to grow to adulthood.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Wow, everyone. I'm so sorry this is happening. Chatfish, Tieri, Echidna.
Chatfish - it's probably that you aren't Guard enough to get really practiced at the cleaning piece. When I was waitressing I only worked once a week and so I was much slower than everyone because I just wasn't working frequently enough.
Tieri - I don't even know what to say. That's all so awful.
Echidna - I empathize. Used to work at a retirement community, so... ugh. I hope nobody dies.
All three of you - virtual hugs. I hope things improve soon. ♡

[Lotus the Mermaid]

What I wish I could do after reading these stories:



I'm so sorry. I'll be praying all of your situations improve.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Agreed.

[Echidna]

Thanks guys.

I think I'll have to double my efforts.
But it gets so tiring, sometimes I think persuading a wall would be easier

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Chatfish, you are the first lifeguard I've ever heard of that cleans the place as well! Is your pool centre so small that the lifeguards have to maintain the premises too?

So much sadness from everyone... I hope things work out for you all.

[Merman Chatfish]

Chatfish, you are the first lifeguard I've ever heard of that cleans the place as well! Is your pool centre so small that the lifeguards have to maintain the premises too?

So much sadness from everyone... I hope things work out for you all.

My last pool was like that too. At this one we hose down the bathroom floors and concession area, restock bathroom supplies, straighten chairs, pick up trash, vacuum the pool and clean the large item filter. I thought all outdoor pools do that.

I was at work today for an inservice and afterwards I am worried I may have paranoia. I am worried people are talking about me at the pool, especially two I am kind of friends with. I am also woried I may be becoming too close as friends and not sure. Its happened at my last pool...I don't understand the line between being friendly professional and being friends. I already have a hard enough time distinguishing acquaintances from friends*. Its also harder because many people are friends or at least knew each other outside of work so I am more confused because I can't just follow by example. Some of the other assistant managers are more goofs than I am and I tend to stick to the more serious and better lifeguards which are mostly all females and being a male that causes additional problems (did last year too).
I just feel that people are unhappy with me but don't know.


*In college one friend would tell me a group of people were not actually my friends, and then a person in that group would tell me another group which includes the first person are not friends for different reasons. In the past people who would talk to me I considered friends, now its a friend is someone you hang out with. Sadly with that second one it means I have no friends. Outside of family I have only actually hung out with two people in the last year and one of them doesn't want to be friends.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Damn, Chatfish! That sucks!
*flails about*

[Merman Chatfish]

Thank you all for your support.

[PearlieMae]

My last pool was like that too. At this one we hose down the bathroom floors and concession area, restock bathroom supplies, straighten chairs, pick up trash, vacuum the pool and clean the large item filter. I thought all outdoor pools do that.

I was at work today for an inservice and afterwards I am worried I may have paranoia. I am worried people are talking about me at the pool, especially two I am kind of friends with. I am also woried I may be becoming too close as friends and not sure. Its happened at my last pool...I don't understand the line between being friendly professional and being friends. I already have a hard enough time distinguishing acquaintances from friends*. Its also harder because many people are friends or at least knew each other outside of work so I am more confused because I can't just follow by example. Some of the other assistant managers are more goofs than I am and I tend to stick to the more serious and better lifeguards which are mostly all females and being a male that causes additional problems (did last year too).
I just feel that people are unhappy with me but don't know.


*In college one friend would tell me a group of people were not actually my friends, and then a person in that group would tell me another group which includes the first person are not friends for different reasons. In the past people who would talk to me I considered friends, now its a friend is someone you hang out with. Sadly with that second one it means I have no friends. Outside of family I have only actually hung out with two people in the last year and one of them doesn't want to be friends.

Maybe this can help a little?
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/10-beh...le-people.html

[Mermaid Jaffa]

You're not the only one... I have no friends either and that hasn't stopped me from enjoying myself. It does get very lonely and sometimes I wish for someone to like me for me, with all my eccentricities. But that hasn't happened yet. I've still a long road to travel, maybe one day I'll stop and rest over and maybe even find someone!

Work wise there is nothing happening, I tried and tried, seems only people want to hire young and cheap labour, over someone who has more experience, skills and knowledge. I've had family finding me jobs which require certification in things I've never heard of! Such as the one for the local KFC... Did you know you needed to have Deep Fryer Certificate Level 3 to work at KFC?? To which I say, I don't have, to which they say, "They will train you!" My heart says, "That's not how it works anymore. What century are these people from??" I thought moving to the city would gain me more jobs and eventually a permanent job but the competition is tough.

[Merman Chatfish]

I just talked to someone at the pool and my manager. They say everything is fine, so then it sounds like I need to talk to my therapist and talk to her about possible paranoia. This has happened before Unfortunately.

[Mermaid Alea]

Aww man that is tough. Just know that anyone who is going to talk bad about you behind your back is not worth being friends with. Of the people out there that don't make good friends for you there are tons of people out there who would be a good friend. You just have to learn to be more confident in yourself. Don't be worried about what people think of you. There will always be someone out there who won't like you or understand you. But there will be a lot of people who will like you. It is like when you meet someone that you just don't want to be around because you have nothing in common with them, they are annoying, etc and you try to be nice to them but it just doesn't work out. It is a tough thing to realize thought because I think most of us want to be liked by everyone and be known as a likeable person.

I think in high school I learned to not care. I didn't care about what people thought about me wearing bright colors and sparkly gold pants, etc. I was fine with standing out because I didn't care about fitting in. The friends I found in high school were cool with that because they themselves were different and fun because they didn't try to be 'cool'. I don't have a whole lot of friends, and really I rarely hang out with people, but those people I do hang out with lift me up instead of bringing me down and that is important. They are nice and we have a good time when we do get together. I grew up an only child so I am used to being a loner and I find that normally if I am hanging out with just one person, I quickly get tired of them before the end of the day. I do much better in a group setting. You will have to figure out all of these things - Who are your real friends or what do you want in a friend? How can you learn to not care so much about what others think?

My boyfriend is the social butterfly and I am a bit of a lone wolf, but even I need some real world social interaction at times. I hope this helped even just a little. I am by no means a social expert but I have definitely dealt with not fitting in, worrying about what others thought of me, longing to be included in certain groups, etc. You just have to push through it and grow.

[Echidna]

sometimes I wish for someone to like me for me,

I like you!

As for the job madness; I have given up on most "normal" job activities.
I even grow some of my food myself (otherwise it's full of pesticides which give me bad headaches and bleedings).
My dream is to become wholly independent (food- and energy-wise), but that won't happen unless I somehow come unto enough money to buy a large piece of land or something. :/