B!TC# IT OUT!

[Ciriun]

Illyn, I know where you're coming from. Not nearly as bad as your case, but last time I went to a specialist she clearly wasn't listening because I kept having to repeat myself. The worst example was when I explained my allergy testing history, specifically that the first time I tested positive for a cat allergy while the second one came up negative. She actually brought in a different doctor to patronizingly explain to me how I should get rid of my roommate's cat because we were all certain I was allergic! I was so shocked I just blurted out that no, we were not certain because of the second test. All he said was, "Oh. Well, you should probably consider it anyway."

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Well, filing that sort of complaint probably will deflate his ego a bit. XD

Warning, somewhat personal rant ahead that basically amounts to: I feel useless and that I wish I could help people who won't let me help them. Or else need to help themselves and therefore helping them would actually hurt them.

Anyway, I went to Ohio to visit two friends, one in Dayton and one in a suburb thereof. Fantastic to see both.

One was actually my mom's friend. She lost her husband about five months back to a twenty year long battle with cancer. At first I was afraid to even say his name, but she actually initiated conversation about him and my mom and I just sat for about an hour and a half listening to the story of her life with him. The good, the bad, the incredibly Japanese (which, when your husband is a Japanese farm-boy and you're a no nonsense Puerto Rican migrant who spent most of your life singing in New York City, that's mostly bad). It was incredible to watch her just talk through it all.

The next morning, we went to a widow's grief group with her. By the end of it our friend was ready to throttle this one woman, who I DO greatly sympathize with.

But apparently, at the last meeting, our friend's honesty about her husband's failings had allowed that woman the same freedom, but this meeting she was back to her "my life with him was perfect" script. By the end of the meeting, I wanted ro throttle her. But I do get it, as much as any single seventeen year old CAN get it. She'd spent her life defined by other people and her relation to them, and she was unprepared to SELF validate upon the death of her husband, who she primarily defined herself by, even when she was contemplating leaving him. I just wish there was something I could've done to help her with that.

But of course, I couldn't. And even if I could, she wouldn't be prepared to take life advice from a teenager anyway.

I just felt really useless.

And then came the friend in the suburb, who is actually a friend of mine. And I couldn't help her EITHER.

I do get that she can't come home, I DO get her many traumas, I DO get that she couldn't help her littlest brother against the PTSD fueled wrath of her huge younger brother even if she tried. I do get that if she sued her father for custody of the little one she'd loose. I get that that would be too painful, being in the area and unable to help her littlest brother. And I do get that if I tried to help that littlest brother, I'd be rewarded with a giant footballer coming at me with a knife, because I remind him of his horribly abusive mother. I also called him on his pathological lying and he hates me now.

But I HATE that she's stuck in Ohio, broke, waitressing, with no college education even though she had a full ride from a community college back home had she not run away from her nutty younger brother. I hate that she's being ostracized by the local Pagan community because they're all Neo-Wiccan and she's a Traditionalist Greek Pagan. I hate that the local Neo-Wiccans have actually managed to completely isolate her by convincing everyone that she's evil demon-spawn. For a group obsessed with harming none, they're DEFINITELY harming someone just because she doesn't live by the same doctrines and worship the God and Goddess of Wicca.

And I hate that my mom and I can't put her up in our apartment till she finds one out here. Because we're broke too, even with me working to help support us.

Again, I just feel really useless.

I just really wish I could help someone. But again the middle child might actually kill me if I tried to help the little one. Luckily, the little one is entering high school this year, MY high school, so I can keep a closer eye on him and make sure he's eating more than just pizza and school food.

But again, incurring the wrath of the middle child is not something that I want to do. And I don't know how he'll react if he sees the little one run up and hug me like he usually does when the middle one isn't around.

Once, before we stopped talking all together, I tried arguing with his very right-wing ideas and got he shoved me and charged at me when I tried to back away.

Luckily my mom was going through the drive through at a nearby fast-food place and I could just glare at him and get in. I don't know what would have happen if not for that coincidence.

Sorry for the personal rant. I just needed to vent.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Ciriun. That sort of incompetence makes me want to hit something.

[PearlieMae]

Apropos of nothing...

[Sabrina the Selkie]

But, yeah. When I was about twelve I got this pair of shoes with a really high arch. Really good for strengthening the feet and ankles, but I was an idiot so I ended up not ever touching my heels to the ground when I walked. Of course, I ended up developing a problem with my right Achilles tendon. It would just lock for hours at a time, making it impossible to flex my feet. Sometimes it was so bad I couldn't put any weight on my right foot. I'll never forget walking into my first day of High School trying to convince my mom that I didn't need to use a walker.

I went to my idiot doctor about it. She decided nothing could be done and that I'd just have to put up with it and wait out the locking spells.

My mom needed a hysterectomy, and the specialist she went to was also a GP. We switched to her. Sje was much better. Then she needed a hip replacement, so I finally talked to the guy who did that surgery about my ankle troubles. He recommend some strengthening exercises and told me that the trouble was with my Achilles. He pointed out that one calf was noticeably smaller than the other, too (going round a derby track counter-clockwize all the time will do that to you). It still occasionally locks, but the exercises greatly improved the problem.

I hate that one doctor. She was perpetually unprofessional and if she just didn't know what was wrong, she just decided it couldn't be fixed.

So sorry everyone had those doctor issues.

[Lotus the Mermaid]

Sabrina, that's a horrible situation. I love your heart to help these people. Especially, the youngest sibling. You may not be able to help in a way that feels hands-on. But just the fact that you care about him speaks volumes to him, I'm sure. And you CAN help by speaking to him, making him feel loved and accepted and listened to. Again, it doesn't feel like much, but that's something. I don't know what's wrong with the older sibling to make him so cruel, but I'm sure he's broken, too. That doesn't excuse his behavior, but it's something to consider. Kill him with kindness as best as you can. In all honesty, that will make him feel powerless and maybe he'll get over himself a little and face his pain. As for the other people you want to help, I'd say being a listening ear and offering that much is enough for anyone at any age. In a few years, when you're in your 20s, you'll have friends of all ages and it won't feel weird anymore. There will still be those that will see your age and think you must not know as much as they do. But they'll be few. I personally pray for people I can't help physically and it makes me feel better since I really feel that it helps. Just like I'll be praying these people to get help, and that you can be at peace with the little ways you can help right now. They're more significant than you think! If you ever need to talk, my door's always open! I really hope that helps.

[Aysun_the_Mermaid]

[IllynReaver]

@Sabrina, you're such an amazing kind heart-ed person. Don't ever lose that or feel that you're useless, you can't always help everyone but it is unfortunate that so many people have experience doctors outright ignoring their concerns and problems and dismissing anything they say.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Thanks, everyone. ♡
You guys do make me feel better.

And yeah, Lotus, the middle child is definitely broken. Suffers from PTSD, and the sister and I think there might be some brain damage from repeated blows to the head a la frying pan and football as well. Their mother was horribly abusive, as well as sexy. She could bat her eyelashes out of almost any situation and it thusly took ages for their father to get custody. They all ended up really fucked up.

The problem with that, though, is that it means middle child goes and breaks someone's leg on the football field and he gets a computer. Of course, that skips steps in the process. After that incident, the school managed to get him diagnosed. Then, because they're paying closer attention to him, they realized the awful economic situation at home and gave him a computer after THAT, to help with school work, but still. To his mind, violence = reward.

To sum it up, the eldest got the emotional abuse, the middle child got the physical abuse, and the littlest was being protected by everyone and came out ALMOST unscathed. But now the middle child is traumatizing the littlest. So I have a horrible premonition that he'll escape emotional trauma from his abusive mom, but end up with PTSD anyway because of his brother. On top of abandonment issues because the eldest HAD to leave when the middle one got violence. There was nothing she could do and she was terrified.

And of course the father has "he's my SON! Nothing could possibly be wrong with him" syndrome essentially because he doesn't want to feel like a negligent father because he can't afford therapy.

So, operation: provide littlest with some emotional support and a slightly more positive role model has commenced!

Anyway, thanks guys. ♡♥♡

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Dylan, everyone's just worried.
But now that you have ordered it, I think everyone will back off. We all really hope that your tail comes out well and beautifully.
Good luck. We'll ALL keep our fingers crossed, I'm sure.

I'm excited to see your tail when you get it! ♥

[AniaR]

I find it offensive that just mentioning him gets people saying such awful things. I can't go back on my tail, and I don't want to go back on my tail. If I have a great experience with his tail, then I don't want someone saying something so nasty that I feel pressured to buy a more expensive tail when the cheaper on works great. People who do that are wrong, and if I keep hearing from people that I should get a tail from a different tail maker instead. I will deliberately stick with the mertailor to show them up. I don't want pear pressure making me unhappy with my tail. That is totally wrong, and it is a very poor representation of the people who buy tails from other tail makers.

good luck with all that then.

[PearlieMae]

I don't know why you're getting your fins in such a tangle, you don't even have your tail yet. Everyone was trying to look out for you, knowing his reputation and having seen proof and heard the miseries of others who've experienced his bad work. Calm down!

We all hope that you get a good tail from him. No one will know if you do until you get it. No need to get all snooty. Chill the f*ck out, dude

[IllynReaver]

@Dylan, buying anything off the internet is a risk. People are just making sure you understand that he does have a reputation with his work and not so great customer service if the product didn't turn out as expected. Seriously, chill out about it. You took the plunge, made your decision, it's like you're beating a dead horse with a stick right now. If your tail turns out just the way you want then more power to you. If not, then know that people will still support you and not point a finger at you all "I told you so". Just relax, breathe and go look at videos of fish or something.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Princess Pearl]

My fabric tail just all of a sudden COMPLETELY stretched out, and now it's baggy and see through and you can even see the writing on my monofin and I've got a HUGE show in three weeks and I don't know if I'll have time to do a new tail and ARRRRRGGHHHHH!

Phew. I feel better now.

[Ashe]

Ouch, Pearl. What kind of fabric did you use? Or did you paint it?

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Saw a post talking about performing as a musician, made a mermaid version of it. Free for everyone's use!

[Yulia]

I have NO problem with people getting good mertailor tails, that's great.

What I don't accept is how The Mertailor in some way think that ten working tails makes up for one crappy tail and sad mer.
It's not okay, and it happens again and again, I want him to make his company evolve and get better.
He's the biggest on the market and he has a RESPONSIBILITY because of that.

I think the problem is that people don't think he deserves more orders because of the way he handles his customers sometimes.
And I have to agree with Arion, I don't know him personally so I'm only referring to him as a businessperson.


And guys trust me, I know the deal of getting a bad cheap tail.

[SeaGlass Siren]

well this escalated quickly.

[Shimmer Mermaid]

Changing the subject for a post,
Got a job interview at a local christian pizza place in an hour.
I dont have a lot of nice clothes because of my recent move, so im wearing a nice pair of jeans, a nice reg tshirt, and tennis shoes.
There is a possibility of me working immediately after the interview if i get the job, and getting some training.

This is my first actual job interview ever. Im. So. Nervous. And scared.
I think my outfit will be fine, but im still nervous.

[SeaGlass Siren]

You'll be fine shimmer just be prepared to answer questions