B!TC# IT OUT!

[Sherielle]

Okay I have a rant. I have a friend "best friend" really. And all she does is talk about herself all and her problems. She never asks me about my day or my issues with work. When I had to put my cat to sleep, my husband was devastated, she came over the same day and told us how she was having a worse day...at work... while she cried about it (literally) on my patio, my cat was dead. She didn't even give me a chance to talk and when she did she would twist my story around about how her day was worse.
Now she is dating my husbands best friend. And they have been together for 3 months total, and they fight everyday, I know, because that's the only reason she ever hits me up. When she is feeling crappy and wants to be boosted. Not to just hang with me.
So he has and STD and she didn't have it, but she still doesn't want to take my advice on leaving him (such a toxic relationship ) and she stood by him even defending him!!
Anyway, that's just a little tidbit to fill you guys in. I had a dream last night I told her off and I yelled at her, and when I woke up I felt so good. Like in my dream I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore.
And what bugs me the most is she blows off my job like anyone could do it. It's a pretty dangerous job if you don't know what you're doing. And if she tried it for a day she would quit.
Not only that, but she thinks this hobby is a pretty big joke. I should dump her.


Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk

Dump her. No one needs a toxic friend in their life like that.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Imogen... Id say this in the most least rude way possible... But.

GIRL. DUMP. THAT. FUCKING. PUBLIC. POOL. BITCH.

[Lotus the Mermaid]

Imogen... Id say this in the most least rude way possible... But.

GIRL. DUMP. THAT. FUCKING. PUBLIC. POOL. BITCH.

[Imogen Finnly]

Imogen... Id say this in the most least rude way possible... But.

GIRL. DUMP. THAT. FUCKING. PUBLIC. POOL. BITCH.

Yus! It made me mad that she blew off my hobby so rudely. I'd never do that. It's just that she is one of my only friends. Not like I can't make more, but still.
I'm going to start ignoring her. Or should I say something?

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk

[SeaGlass Siren]

Call the bitch out.

[Imogen Finnly]

I think that's best too... thanks guys!

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk

[Azurin Luna]

Why is my body mocking me? My period hadn't come in a few weeks, so we were hopeful that I was pregnant, but instead it decided to show up today and I have a LARP weekend this weekend, and usually you are not near a toilet during that weekend... Sigh

[Keiris]

Imogen... Id say this in the most least rude way possible... But.

GIRL. DUMP. THAT. FUCKING. PUBLIC. POOL. BITCH.

bahahahahahahahaha!!! How do you REALLY feel about it, SeaGlass?

[Mermaid Kelda]

I'm having a quarter-life crisis.

I'm trying to do something with my life, but I can't think of a single realistic profession that I want to strive towards. At the moment I'm in a mediocre casual job that leaves me less and less happy after every shift. I don't know what job I do want. I can't think of anything worse than clocking in to work every day of my life so that I can earn enough money to spend my weekends doing what I want (whatever that is). I'm also doing a three-quarter workload at uni and am MONTHS behind in content. I'm notoriously lazy and always tell myself everything will be okay. And yeah, in the bigger picture it doesn't matter if I fail a course, but it'll matter to me and somehow I'm not important enough to myself to warrant trying any harder. I'm even wondering if I might have some form of depression that's a cause/symptom of this vicious cycle of apathy.

I have no drive to study the things I am interested in, and even if I did, do I want to spend thousands of dollars on interests that I'm not even sure I'll still have when I graduate? I never seem to have the energy for studying. I'm not passionate about anything and I feel like I'm wasting my life no matter what I'm doing. If I'm not studying, I don't do anything else useful either, because I feel like a failure for not studying, but then I still don't god damn study so I'm double a failure.

Part of me wants to quit everything and just craft things, but that's not going to make me a living on its own, and I want to be useful to society and junk. I can craft things on the side no matter what else I do. In any case, I don't like the idea of spending my life making art. I feel like, personally, I would look back on that and wish I'd pursued other things. It's the right path for other people, but not for me. I don't even know what kind of art I'd make.

I'm so scared of failing or wasting my time on things that I'll never end up using or wanting that I never start or finish anything. I give up on things halfway through, and I don't know whether that's because I lose inspiration, or because I never really had inspiration to begin with, or because I'm just not trying hard enough. Maybe all of those things.

I'm also unreasonably worried about what other people think of what I'm doing. Not that I'm rich or successful, but that what I'm doing is cool. I've wanted to be a falconer, astronomer, lepidopterist, mermaid, anything that's edgy or interesting or different from the norm. I want to get a degree, but so far I've hated every minute of it. I don't hate the content, I don't even hate studying, but I never fucking do it and of course that makes me miserable. I don't even know if I can pull myself out of the backlog I'm in now and pass. If I do, I don't know if I want to keep going. I'm the worst student. I'm the kind of student who wants a degree but isn't willing to put in the hard yards because I'm intelligent enough to pull things off without working for them most of the time and just make do with last-minute-panic, but that doesn't fly in the sciences (do I even want to do science? I don't know! But being in the arts faculty sure didn't get me anywhere either) and isn't a healthy way to get through uni anyway.

I don't even know if I'm expecting help with this, I just needed to get it off my chest.

I'm so sick and tired of this. Sick and tired of being directionless, lazy, apathetic, indecisive. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to find out because choosing a path and walking down it to see what it's like hasn't worked out for me yet. I also know that it's part of the reason my boyfriend broke up with me. It's no fun being with someone who isn't passionate about anything. If you have no passions you have no personality. Your interests and knowledge help make you who you are and I have no interests and no knowledge about anything.

Just.

[Mer-Crazy]

I really wish I could give you some awesome advice but honestly I don't know, my situation is different from yours. Just know that if you ever need to vent, I'll be there. If you ever wanna come down I'm happy to have you and I'll do my best to be there for you if you ever need

[Ariel-Starfish]

Ariel, I am so sorry to hear that! I hope your surgery goes well and you can recover promptly.

Imogen, I am so sorry to hear about your cat passing! It is awful to lose a furry family member. That friend of yours, if you pardon my English, bally cheek! Maybe it would not be a bad idea to yell at her a bit. We have a saying in my country that says: "Better one time red than a hundred times yellow". Meaning it is better to lose your temper once than let it simmer in your insides.

Sending you both hugs, if they are welcome.

Thanks!! ❤️

[SeaGlass Siren]

bahahahahahahahaha!!! How do you REALLY feel about it, SeaGlass?

How do I feel about it? You mean aside from thinking this girl is the most selfish spoiled cunt ever?

i spurn her kind as I would spurn a rabid dogfish. :drinks wine:

[RastaMer]

I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just.

Mermaid Kelda, everything you just said I 100% understand and have felt very similarly if not exactly the same for a lot of my life. I will tell you how I cope with it but it is by no means a solution. I'm sorry to say there is no solution. The reality of the situation is that if you went to a doctor they would probably tell you that you have some sort of depression and put you on pills that probably wouldn't solve anything. Maybe therapy would be helpful but only because talking about things is helpful in general. You don't need to pay someone to do that. I've been down that path and it doesn't solve anything. I largely believe your internal conflict comes from society drilling into you ideas that you don't necessarily believe.

As far as school goes, I hated it too. I could never will myself to study as much as I needed to and I knew I could get by even if I didn't study because I was smart. My best advice is to just finish. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't keep telling myself that school is really important and then continuously not take it seriously. Actions speak louder than words. I began to believe my actions rather than my words and found it helpful. The truth is I don't value school as much as I should and I don't believe it measures intelligence. However, I do believe it is necessary to function normally in today's society and due to that fact, I forced myself to suff through it. I believe you should do the same. I didn't need a degree to validate to myself that I'm smart but I needed a degree to validate to everyone else that I am. Once I kind of said "fuck it" and stopped fooling myself about the amount of work I was going to put in, I became a little happier and stressed less about school. My GPA wasn't great but I graduated.

Getting a job came next. Instead of focusing on the work itself, try to think about what kind of environment you would like to work in. With a lot of people or with only a few? With people your age or with children? With people who want to make a difference in society or with people who just want to make money? I hate working but it's a necessary evil of life. We just need to make it the least painful as possible in every way. At first this is hard because you're limited to entry level jobs but try to turn your negative energy and feelings into motivation to get out of the situation you're in.

Think about what you actually like and what is important to you. For me it's close relationships, mermaids, traveling, family, and maybe a few other things. Make those your main goals in life and then think about all the little things you love like music, movies, art, food, sleeping, writing, the ocean, bare feet, cuddling with a soft blanket, petting your cat. Make sure you savor these things along the way. Life isn't easy for anyone and we, as humans, are in a constant struggle with our consciousness. Don't ever make yourself feel bad because you don't want to do something you feel you should be doing. If you don't want to do it just say "fuck it" I'm going to watch a movie because I enjoy that a million times more. And a lot of people think that's a bad attitude but fuck them too. We're all gonna die and I would rather go out knowing I had a fun life rather than a stressful one full of internal conflict.

I think you need to find more balance in your life. Be true to yourself and what you actually think is important. Think about why you value those things. Is it because that is what you think your supposed to be doing or because it actually makes you happy? Obviously, with that logic you could go around killing people and be like "oh, well it makes me happy". That's where you need to find balance between doing what you want and what society wants. You can't be too indulgent in what you want or you'll never accomplish anything and be living in your parents basement forever but you can't give into what society wants or you'll never be happy with yourself.

Sorry for the long post, I hope this is helpful. I have an attitude that's like "fuck it" and that works for some people and not for others. I don't know what works for you but I hope you can figure it out!

[Merman Arion]

Mermaid Kelda, everything you just said I 100% understand and have felt very similarly if not exactly the same for a lot of my life. I will tell you how I cope with it but it is by no means a solution. I'm sorry to say there is no solution. The reality of the situation is that if you went to a doctor they would probably tell you that you have some sort of depression and put you on pills that probably wouldn't solve anything. Maybe therapy would be helpful but only because talking about things is helpful in general. You don't need to pay someone to do that. I've been down that path and it doesn't solve anything. I largely believe your internal conflict comes from society drilling into you ideas that you don't necessarily believe.

As far as school goes, I hated it too. I could never will myself to study as much as I needed to and I knew I could get by even if I didn't study because I was smart. My best advice is to just finish. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't keep telling myself that school is really important and then continuously not take it seriously. Actions speak louder than words. I began to believe my actions rather than my words and found it helpful. The truth is I don't value school as much as I should and I don't believe it measures intelligence. However, I do believe it is necessary to function normally in today's society and due to that fact, I forced myself to suff through it. I believe you should do the same. I didn't need a degree to validate to myself that I'm smart but I needed a degree to validate to everyone else that I am. Once I kind of said "fuck it" and stopped fooling myself about the amount of work I was going to put in, I became a little happier and stressed less about school. My GPA wasn't great but I graduated.

Getting a job came next. Instead of focusing on the work itself, try to think about what kind of environment you would like to work in. With a lot of people or with only a few? With people your age or with children? With people who want to make a difference in society or with people who just want to make money? I hate working but it's a necessary evil of life. We just need to make it the least painful as possible in every way. At first this is hard because you're limited to entry level jobs but try to turn your negative energy and feelings into motivation to get out of the situation you're in.

Think about what you actually like and what is important to you. For me it's close relationships, mermaids, traveling, family, and maybe a few other things. Make those your main goals in life and then think about all the little things you love like music, movies, art, food, sleeping, writing, the ocean, bare feet, cuddling with a soft blanket, petting your cat. Make sure you savor these things along the way. Life isn't easy for anyone and we, as humans, are in a constant struggle with our consciousness. Don't ever make yourself feel bad because you don't want to do something you feel you should be doing. If you don't want to do it just say "fuck it" I'm going to watch a movie because I enjoy that a million times more. And a lot of people think that's a bad attitude but fuck them too. We're all gonna die and I would rather go out knowing I had a fun life rather than a stressful one full of internal conflict.

I think you need to find more balance in your life. Be true to yourself and what you actually think is important. Think about why you value those things. Is it because that is what you think your supposed to be doing or because it actually makes you happy? Obviously, with that logic you could go around killing people and be like "oh, well it makes me happy". That's where you need to find balance between doing what you want and what society wants. You can't be too indulgent in what you want or you'll never accomplish anything and be living in your parents basement forever but you can't give into what society wants or you'll never be happy with yourself.

Sorry for the long post, I hope this is helpful. I have an attitude that's like "fuck it" and that works for some people and not for others. I don't know what works for you but I hope you can figure it out!

Best post I've read in a while.
I applaud you for the commitment into helping Kelda

I totally feel the struggle. I have been there too.

[RastaMer]

Thank Arion! It's hard not to speak up when I saw so much of myself in what Kelda posted.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Thank you, Rasta. I know I'm not alone with this - people who know what they want and have their life together are few and far between. It's just so frustrating to have no idea at all of what I want to do.

My "fuck it" attitude up till now has been what's stopped me from doing really well. I think I need to shift my perspective and say fuck it to being miserable instead, like you. I only deserve what I strive for, so unless I strive for something I don't deserve anything. But as soon as I do set my sights on something concrete, I know I can get there if I don't take my own shit when it comes to procrastination.

I agree with you about finding a balance. I could live in a cottage on a mountain and paint for the rest of my life and be content, but I wouldn't be fulfilled. Ephemeral pleasures aren't worth losing partners, or my own happiness, over. I'm glad to know you felt the same way about study and still managed to push through your degree. That gives me hope for myself. I know I can achieve things if I put my mind to them - but I have to put my mind to the right things.

I think I knew all these things, but I needed to get it all out and down on paper, so to speak. It's affirming to read similar stories.

And thank you Mer-Crazy, as well<3

[Sherielle]

Kelda, first off.....don't worry so much about that. When I was 25, I was starting college (again) and studying to be a vet tech. After two years of that and then three working for vets, I realized it wasn't right for me. But that experience gave me knowledge that applied to my next job. Which gave me more knowledge to my next job. I have ended up working in accounting with a side business of jewelry making. I still don't know where I'll be when I grow up, but at 48, I have a better idea. You are definitely NOT alone or weird in feeling that way.
Hugs and mucho support.

[Imogen Finnly]

Ariel, I am so sorry to hear that! I hope your surgery goes well and you can recover promptly.

Imogen, I am so sorry to hear about your cat passing! It is awful to lose a furry family member. That friend of yours, if you pardon my English, bally cheek! Maybe it would not be a bad idea to yell at her a bit. We have a saying in my country that says: "Better one time red than a hundred times yellow". Meaning it is better to lose your temper once than let it simmer in your insides.

Sending you both hugs, if they are welcome.

Thank you!

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Kelda]

Thank you, Sherielle. That's comforting I guess it doesn't matter what I'm doing or where I'm going as long as I'm happy and healthy. And to be happy I need to stop worrying so much about having a 15 year plan!

[Naufra]

That uncomfortable moment when the people around you are hating on things that you rely on everyday and will rely on for the rest of your life because they enable you to be a productive member of society.

Rasta, you made a lot of great points in your reply to Kelda, and I don't mean this as an attack on you in any way, but I'm sick of people hating on Psychiatry and pharmaceuticals.

Yes, some psychology is bogus as was said earlier in the thread though I forget who by, but we've really only begun, as a species, to really try to address mental health issues. I would compare Freud's psychology to the Theory of the Four Humors, it really is the earliest of attempts to understand and treat the mind. I would compared electroshock to the medicinal use of leeches. The sciences of psychology and psychiatry are in their infancy, but they're already starting to really help people who would otherwise be institutionalized for life to be productive, contributing members of society. I don't normally discuss this online, but I'm a diagnosed Mixed-Type Bipolar. Through the help of my psychiatrist, some psychoactive pharmaceuticals, and sometimes a therapist, in addition to my own hard work and daily struggles, I'm functional. I'm working six days a week between my internship for school and my paying job, I pay taxes, I vote after researching the issues. I've been scared out of my mind by reading about what I could become if left untreated. I've seen the kind of wreck I would be without treatment during meds-changes, while transitioning off of one drug and onto a new one. During my last meds-change, I had the most terrifying mixed-mania I've ever had in my life. Two hours felt like twenty-four while my emotions ran wild, literally all of my emotions all at once, leaving me an inconsolable wretch while one of my best friends struggled desperately to calm me down via Facebook chat.

Don't get me wrong, many pharmaceutical companies are absolute sleazebags. If they were altruistic, we wouldn't need the Orphan Drug Act to make things like a vaccine against Ebola happen. The medicines they turn out, on the other hand, are life-saving in more ways than expected. As unbelievable as this may sound to someone outside of any medical field, Viagra has saved the lives of countless premature babies. This is an off-label use for it, but its' vasodilative properties have helped the hearts of neonates pump sufficient blood to keep premies alive until they're strong enough on their own. Viagra for premies is not directly relevant to psychiatry, but it's an example of how even the dumbest-seeming pharmaceuticals are saving lives every day.

To clarify, this rant isn't stemming solely from the conversations here on MerNetwork. I'm faced with disparaging remarks against the very things that allow me to live as a functional person from many sources, including friends, family, and total strangers on a regular basis. The simmer has finally come to a boil, and I had to say something this time.