*VIDEO* The mercommunity and it's approach to mers of color and cultures.

[Sapphire Mermaid]

I haven't glazed over anything that has been said here. I know people are hurting. I know people are pissed off. And I am saying they have every right to be. I haven't said that no one can feel hurt by this. I would be worried if people said they weren't offended by it. I am offended by what has happened. A large part of my extended family is African. No one should take their culture and change it for the wider market. I am fuming that she would accept something so significant without researching it and understanding it.
I also don't want to see people starting to generalise to every time and situation when they see of someone representing another culture.
What I am saying here, in short and to use your wording, I hate that this is happening and I wish the world would come to a greater understanding of all cultures. But please don't think that this is what happens every time in every situation, because it isn't. The world is changing and growing faster than ever before and people are becoming more and more educated on these issues. If we want people to continue to learn, we need to talk about all of it, negative AND positive.

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[merwandering]

I will just say this, and then call it agree to disagree:
I have soooo much the same tendency. I go into the mode of really trying to help examine all aspects of an issue for that exact purpose. But sometimes I catch myself or end up deleting a post because sometimes after I say it, I realize that while it was 100% true, the exact specifics of the context made it not the right place in the conversation to say it.
I was on the receiving end of that this week- I posted something (unrelated to this subject, and not on this forum) and someone replied to my post speaking their truth, something that was important to them, and well meaning, but it hit so hard that it made me cry.
I mean, it made me question whether they at all got where I was coming from
It felt disrespectful to what I was saying.
And I have to constantly watch that, while I hope people know that I am coming from a place of being constructive, that I am listening more than I am talking, and I am attentive enough to the exact context to know, in this exact moment of this exact conversation- is this statement helping in the big picture? And then I try to really think about where someone else is coming from if they say that, from their perspective, it isn't.

[Lucinda]

Mermaid Momo, you're raising some very valid concerns.

I was quite active in the thread revolving around the dolphin drive hunts. I remember that I was away from the forum for a while only to come back and discover that someone had went completely off the rails in that thread and said a lot of horrible things. "What the hell happened here?" I thought to myself as I was sifting through the post trying to figure out what was going on. The offensive post itself had already been censured by a moderator, but I managed to find a quote of it in another mer's post. I was completely dumbstruck by what I read and at the same time I wondered if this person could possibly have taken out of context some of the things I had written in the thread? Had I made too many sweaping generalisations about the Japanese? Did this person think that I was promoting hate and acted on that? Was this in any way my fault? Either way, the post had already been moderated so I suppose I figured that if anyone represents the official policy of the forum, it's the moderators and the admins.
By the time I had decyphered what exactly had been said, it all seemed like a done deal. The original post containing the slurs had been hacked to bits and the poster had been given an official warning. It seemed to me that the mer in question had already gotten a proper scolding from the moderator and was now left to ponder their mistake. Or maybe I didn't respond the slurs because the issue was just making me uncomfortable and I was trying not to think about it?
I suppose all these years of hanging out on the web have desensitized me to this kind of behaviour. Seeing, on a daily basis, the stuff that comes out of trolls has that effect. That sounds like a pretty lame excuse, though. I know. You easily start to think that since these kinds of things happen all the time, hence there's no point in making a bigger deal of it that it already is. But as I've come to realise, the elephant in the room won't go away on its own. It's always different if you're on the receiving end of something like this. I remember that sense of betrayal from my school years...when you have all these bystanders just standing around like sheep doing nothing while others are saying and doing horrid things.

I have a saying "Don't act like own the place. Act like you ARE the place". In other words, if I want Mernetwork to be a warm and welcoming place then I need to ask myself: What can I do to make it more warm and welcoming? If not being a sheep... if calling people out on their shit is what's needed, then so be it. We're a community. We're a family. It's time we started acting like one.

If I've failed anyone through my inability to act, I'm truly sorry.

[SeaGlass Siren]

She has responded to larondas video and my video with nearly the exact same response.

[Becoming_A_Mermaid]

I agree with so much of this but I don't understand the hairstyle issues? Maybe someone could explain? Growing up I've always wanted micro braids, and I am very obviously white. My mom told me that she had friends growing up that had micro braids and all of my african american friends have said that anyone can rock a hairstyle, because so many hairstyles are interwoven through so many different cultures. And in the same light I had a friend growing up who had dreads along with one of my moms best friends who has dreads, both are white, and no one ever seems to have an issue because dreads are in so many different cultures.
So im just trying to understand is it bad to like a hairstyle because you aren't directly from the culture where it is worn most?
Because to me it isn't about choosing a hairstyle to be more edgy, it's about choosing a hairstyle that makes me feel confident.

[Sea_Angel_Rusalka]

I'm actually curious....what did happen with the Asian Makeup Mermaid? What was the result of it? Does anyone know? I really would like some more information!

Now that the question is out of the way:
Momo, this is a fantastic video. Your concerns are very valid. Your trials and fight to be accepted as a mermaid are well worth it and you are such a respected member in this community.
There are a couple points I'd like to agree with in particular: The use of dreads to look more "Down to earth" and "angry" are completely terrible. Dreads are a thing rooted in many cultures across the globe and rarely ever meant dirty or aggressive. Dreads have been associated with power in the bible (Sampson and have roots in many cultures as symbols of religion or status. (Egypt, Greece, Africa, Buddhism, Christianity, Viking just as a start.) They should never be seen as dirty or unclean or "Aggressive." )
Tribal: It's a phrase that makes me want to cringe. It happened back that a certain fandom created "Tribalstuck." the outcry was great. It falls into the warpaint, head dress, marking type of things. If people are invited into it and to take a part of it, then there's a difference, but using "Tribal" as some weird marked aesthetic to just look "cool." It has a cultural meaning that very few are invited into. Some cultures are more open to letting foreigners in, and that is for them to decide. Maori now use it as a way of respecting others, but that is there choice!

Links on the history of dreads in cultures:
https://www.knottyboy.com/learn/dreadlock-history/
http://ragingrootsstudio.com/the-history-of-dreadlocks/

[SeaGlass Siren]

hang on sending you screencaps

[merwandering]

Would it be helpful if we started a dreads thread? (though actually a locks thread, lol)
because I do think it is a worthwhile exchange, and while it was specifically mentioned in the video, I also see the point of not focusing on that piece of the video in that way on this thread....

[Sea_Angel_Rusalka]

I was merely stating my agreement with her on these points in particular, that's all. (And thought I'd provide some links in case anyone was curious)

[merwandering]

I was asking because I did the same thing, not criticizing, and not speaking of you specifically, I promise:)
More because I think it really is its own whole discussion, and deserves to be, and what I did realize is that when that totally worthy discussion unfolds, the other issues are no longer being addressed and the rest of the conversation is being lost in the shuffle (based in part on my own comments!)

[Sea_Angel_Rusalka]

Thank you, I understand now. Honestly, there needs to be an entire discussion of appropriation, appreciation, the thin line, and respecting people of color and other cultures.

[AniaR]

But I think that was kind of her point, as far as the context, sometimes interjecting with a qualifying statement can do so much to damage focus on the magnitude of the issue at hand. It takes away from the salience of the specific conversation, to point out exceptions not relevant to the situation.

Exactly. I dont know why that is so hard to grasp other than innate defensiveness that everyone carries around when dealing with touchy subjects.

I haven't glazed over anything that has been said here.

She didnt say you did, she was giving an example. You keep taking examples personally.



Literally, this IS one of the biggest issues when talking about appropriation because it silences those being appropriated. Good intentions or not! It's why we need to say, that discussion is not relevant to this specific one. It undermines it.

[AniaR]

The issue of hair has already been discussed at length with many relevant examples in the Drama thread for anyone who missed it.

[SeaGlass Siren]

AH... the dreaded thread. (punintended)

[merwandering]

Only thinking that because it keeps coming up
plus after a while there will be piles of other stuff there and it will be hard to see what was said- it might be a good space to perspective share/perseverate
lol

[SeaGlass Siren]

I THINK ((oops caps)) it would be pretty cool if we had a separate section for the coloured mers on here. you know like a sort of online "little italy" "little chinatown" "little korea town "little portugal" you know? we did have a threat earlier on discussing our roots and where we came from.

[Sea_Angel_Rusalka]

I came into this conversation and stated that Dreads have cultural significance to people of color from many cultures and its facing erasure to hippies, smoking weed, aggression and specifically tied to one group of color. I can't speak about her struggle as a person of color because it is different from mine where I fight to claim my stake as a Native American where people only see me as White because of my german last name, assuming that when I wear blue contacts and blonde wigs that that is how I am naturally. That I was told I was too white to be Native. This is my contribution. This is what I thought is what she asked for. Who are we to police her thread about cultural diversity and representing POC when POC is everywhere and varying. That tribal paint worn as a type of costume is wrong. That dreads and locks and braids as aggressive or dirty is wrong. I am trying to contribute as someone who is Native American and never recognized. I grew up in a state where diversity was every day and we were inducted into the culture and we were put into kimono and taught respect for everyone and we were brought to temples and shown and taught the ways to praise the gods and be just and be respectful of the land where people were proud of their heritage and taught others and brought us into the symbols and the meanings and shared their religion and their culture. I was taught to respect and not to classify.

I'm sorry that I was seen as "off topic" but now I am "off topic" but when you are perceived "white" but you are raised in the states in a Japanese/Hawaiian/Samoan community what are you to do? You're on the outside and you can't touch the cultures you are tied the most too. I am trying to respect Momo, contribute, provide thought provoking commentary without drawing a battle line in the sand of "look but dont touch." We have to open ourselves to experiences and try to understand. I didn't think that commentating on things that she brought up in the video was wrong or off topic. Yes, I brought up things because "You go Momo, you stand up for yourself" only goes so far. It takes discussion to create changes in communities. So I'm more back on topic I'll leave this thread and not post again and leave it with this.

Yes, it was wrong of a company to ask a white mermaid to play an African Goddess.
Yes, it is wrong to parade around and claim something as your own with no meaning or significance to yourself.
Don't ask to look more Chinese or Asian or paint yourself a different skin tone because Race is not something you get to change yourself into to look "exotic" or "cool"

[AniaR]

I'm sorry that I was seen as "off topic" but now I am "off topic"

Nobody has, or is saying that to you. Just redirecting to where there is already a discussion on the hair issue specifically. Because we've already posted many historial links etc. So people might want to read that stuff first before we sidebar this thread into a repeat of the same stuff.

Pointing out when something undermines a point /=/ "policing" a thread. Redirecting to other relevant links /=/ policing a thread.

I THINK ((oops caps)) it would be pretty cool if we had a separate section for the coloured mers on here

Maybe a thread on multiculturalism, or cultural issues, or diversity? We have the gender and sexuality one, along with a thread for mermen and a thread for religion/athiests

[SeaGlass Siren]

Yes! Exactly what I meant

[merwandering]

The reason I backtracked about the locks issue in this thread, is that while it was brought up, looking at the original post, this is to initiate conversation about how, as a mermaid community, we can come together to address issues deeply affecting some members (and really, affecting everyone who would like to live in a world that really IS one world, one love). A conversation about how, as a community, we can change how much diversity is respected and embraced in a way that makes the diverse members of the community FEEL respected and embraced.
So in that context, I didn't feel like the answer was "hi, I'm white, can we talk about why maybe it's cool if I go ahead and have dreads?"
(because in my head, my answer to THAT question would have been, "actually, for five seconds can we not??")