Body Image in general and as a mer (share your story)

[AniaR]

So, body image is a topic that comes up quite a bit for many of us female mers (I'm not sure about you males!) as many of us struggle to feel confident in our own skin. A mermaid tail leaves little to the imagination when it comes to your body, and I think many of us have received at least a few hateful comments in our time. Many of us turn youtube comments off because of it too. So I wanted to share 2 things with you and open up a conversation.

First:



Second:

I started this conversation on my own FB page https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=1&theater over this image:



I'm a bit painfully aware of my body, and take a lot of steps to make sure it looks nice in photos at the least. My tail comes up very high as people point out. My stomach can range to a variety of shapes and sizes thanks to my illness. I am more comfortable covering it with my tail and not thinking about it. If I stand up and suck it in- then yeah it can look what society thinks is "flat" or "thin". But let's be honest, I'm not walking around all day sucking my stomach in, and all bets are off when you sit down- sucking in or not most women get a bump.

Now, my BMI is perfect. In fact, it ranges to underweight at times. Is obesity an issue for me? No. Not in a health way. But I have had people say to me twice now, that since I am a role model to young girls I should work on my body image to be one that is more "healthy". Just like the woman in the video above. Their stance on healthy focuses on weight. While my stance on healthy focuses on all my illnesses that originate in my core and are affected by my core.

In both instances I said to the people something along the lines of, "you're so right! That's why I do physio therapy and take my meds, and encourage people to feel good about their bodies despite illness! Unfortunately there is no cure for my illness, so I'll have to deal from time to time with a stomach that flares up and gets big" Needless to say that shut them up. Both these people weren't concerned in the slightest about my actual health or weight. They just wanted to insult me and try and wrap it up so they could get away with it.

That kinda crap happens on the internet all the time. If you read the comments on my link I shared you'll see everyone turns to "you're not fat" but honestly, I am fat by some people's standards.. and what if I am "Fat". Does that change anything I've done? Does that change what I do? Does that somehow devalue who I am as a mermaid and a person? I think that's the point the woman in the video is trying to make.

We DO have pluz size mers in the community. Women who are working hard to be healthy and lose weight, but ALSO be comfortable in their skin. They really inspire me because honestly, I know I could look better... I'd LIKE to look better, but I also know I NEED to be happy with myself. If I allow the stupid online hate of others to be my motivation for trying to be healthy... I have a feeling I'll never be healthy. My motivation has to come from within. It has to be self driven.

While I try to watch what I eat to make sure I'm not getting too much sugar/fat/salt etc what I really have been working on is my core. Everyone seems to want the 6 pack or the abs etc the flat stomach... I was never able to have those or do anything that requires your core to be in any shape or form STRONG. My core has always been weak- even when my tummy was flat. This is due to my combination of illnesses and it causes a lot of pain and frustration in my life. I can't do a lot of the same tasks other people can, my balance is terrible, I get a lot of hip, pelvic, and back pain, and I'm always at the very bottom of any fitness type class I take. My mertender and I took tango lessons and for 3 years we stayed in the very beginning course because despite my hard work and effort I didn't improve. I couldn't move past because my balance was off, and my left leg was too weak and messed up all my steps.

To really get you to understand it I'll get technical for a minute here. It may be TMI so just warning you. I have IC which causes progressive inflammation and scar tissue in my bladder. I deal fairly well with it and my actual bladder doesn't ruin much in my life anymore now that I take meds. It's incurable. What does cause an issue is that for years having my pain my body has started reacting to try and protect itself. My pelvic muscles and core muscles constantly spasms in an attempt to "protect" my bladder. The same way you may feel your stomach in knots whenever you're anxious. I have scoliosis which while it isn't very visible without an xray, causes my left hip to be displaced and also too high. Since it's not lined up right my left leg is extremely weak. Like, comically so. Also, the twist of my spine and hip pulls all the pelvic muscles in the front to the left. so basically, grab your tummy and pull it different directions as hard as you can and that's what I'm feeling every day. My leg hurts, my core hurts, my hip hurts, my back hurts. Always. Even with pain killers.

I had tried everything I could think of to try and improve this. I got a personal trainer at the gym. We focused a lot on core stabilization but no matter how hard I worked I couldn't improve it. In fact, workouts would inflame my bladder or my surrounding muscles and I'd be in pain for days and sometimes even end up in the hospital. I thought I was doomed to never be "fit". Without your core- it's hard to get a lot of benefits from being active, and my leg wasn't getting any stronger.

I saw many nutritionists, a natruopath, a dietitian... nothing I did with my diet really improved the bloating/weight side of things. The meds I take for IC all have the side effects of causing weight gain too. So here I have a core that basically doesn't work, and keeps putting on weight. Well, enough was enough. I got every book from the library on my illness and related symptoms and started reading. Soon I was presented with another option. Physiotherapy. Not your typical physio- we're talking very specialized to my illness. 1 physiotherapist did what I needed in my city. 1. And after months on a wait list I got in.

For the first time in my life I could feel my core muscles working. My physiotherapist got me to actually feel which muscles were hyperextended, and which ones weren't. She taught me how to relax the stressed muscles, and work the ones that weren't being used. The workouts and stretches were strange, very individual to me, and not something people normally tried. But I started feeling a difference, I started feeling stronger. Everytime I went in for assessments I was getting better and better. And guess what- monofin swimming helped too! It forced me to position my hips and core the correct way so anytime I swam in my tail or monofin I was helping those muscles too.

The reason I share this with you, is because we never know what someone is going through. Honestly, I don't care if people call me fat, I know I've got some flub going on with my stomach and I know I'm working on it. But like the woman in the video I worry a lot about other people. We never know someone's story until they share it, we also never know how hard they're working to achieve their goals. Look how specific things needed to be for me in order for me to see a change? Well there are people out there trying to balance medication, diet, activity in a busy life... conditions always seem to need to be just right.

Well, I wanted to share with you the results. After months of physio, very basic yoga, changing my diet, and working hard... I still weigh between 135-140 but here's what I look like...



For the first time ever... I am getting strength in my core. I'm getting definition, and if I suck it in I'm flat, lol. I can stand on one leg without falling. I can shift my weight from side to side without losing my balance. I can twist and turn without pain in my hips and back. I can swim better. I FEEL better.

I'm on a personal journey these days to be HEALTHY and to feel good in the skin I'm in. Since our community is still so small, we can shape the outcomes. We can set the standards. I want a community where people can feel good about their size regardless of what stage they're in. I want a community where people feel motivated and SUPPORTED to become healthy. I want a community where nobody feels like they shouldn't try a tail because of the way they look or see themselves.

Have you faced any personal struggles with your weight or health issues? Do those struggles impact your life as a mermaid/man? Please share your stories- even if your stories are in progress and not finished yet.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Mine is one of those that is in progress. I've been struggling a LOT with my weight over the last 2 years. I bounce between 170 and 150, but recently bounced up to 180 and can't seem to get back down again. I eat right and exercise when I can. But the fact that I have a job where I sit at a desk all day doesn't help. I love the water and I love swimming. my freshman year I ended up making varsity of the swimming team at my high school. That is the fittest I have been since I was 9 I used to do a workout video 2 times a day when I was 9 (oh I wish I had that energy again) it was a navy seal PT workout video that was 2 hours long. I recently found it again and got it on DVD, but I lack the courage to even try to do it in my own house Having only 1 TV and a dad that is now stuck at home cause he can't work due to a back injury, makes me feel like I would be the new entertainment to watch if I tried to do the video while him and my mum are home. The times when they are not home is few and far between. I'm really hoping to make it to the pool more often. I've got a contact who is a dive instructor and he rents a local pool at least 1 night a week. He's already said its ok if I tag along with him. I am happy with who I am and the way I look, but at the same time I am a bit embarrassed by it and hurt by what people sometimes say

[Merman_Shawn]

Yes actually Mermen do face body issues as well. For example: I have been 125lbs since I was 16, I am now 28. Now I know a lot of people are going to say "What's the problem?!". The problem lies in the fact that according to media and society, to be perceived as a "real man" you have to have big rock-hard muscles. Now I work out, I'm on a special diet where I consume 3,000 calories a day(good food not junk), and I still don't put on any mass. It's so frustrating! I tone, but I don't actually get any meat on me. For a long time, I wouldn't take off my shirt in public ect...
Then something miraculous happened; I joined a shadow-cast production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. In those three years I had to run around on stage in various stages of dress. Needless to say, that even though I don't look the way I want to, I'm not ashamed to show off what I have. Being plunged into the deep end like that, was something I really needed.

[SilverSiren]

First, let me just say, your lovely AniaR. You look pretty in both pictures. I'm so glad your working on your body to become stronger in a way that isn't just benefiting the way you look but making your body work for you. Your always very inspiring!

I used to have the body of a dancer. I danced all the time. This February, that all changed. I had immense pain on the left side of my back, like a hot electrified serrated knife, twisting deep into my muscles. I had to have an ambulance come get me as I couldn't get up and walk, breathing was a chore, and I was heaving from the pain (please, bear in mind I am a VERY storng and stubborn woman, I will bear a LOT of pain without complaint). I had x-rays taken and a lot of painkillers given (which only served to dull the pain a little, just enough that I could breath again). I had a 9mm kidney stone lodged in my urinary track. Wow, really? That's it?! So, I was scheduled to have a thin tube placed in the track between my kidney and bladder so that things could drain normally and then later come in to have it removed when my body healed up.

The next morning comes and I am taken to surgery for my tube.... I didn't wake up till four days later. The tube wouldn't drain properly. The stone had caused back up in my kidney along with infection. When it couldn't drain out the bladder, it went back into my body and I went into septic shock. My husband and friends where being prepared by the doctors for my possible death, I had a 50% chance to live, but hey, here I am! I spent weeks in the hospital. I was hooked up to breathing machines and had tubes coming out everywhere, including one that drained from out my kidney, out my back, and into a friggin plastic sack! I learned how to walk again as my body had become THAT weak. When I got home (with my lovely kidney sack till attached!) I took forever to get up the stairs when I went to the bedroom, I just couldn't breath, my body was still weak.

Fast forward 3 months. I have the sack, tubes, and stone removed. Unfortunately, I gained a lot of weight. Another few months pass and now I am dancing again. I'm doing P90X too. I've went down a pant size. I have only 15 more pounds to lose before I am back at my previous weight. I got two comments from friends I hadn't seen for about a month and they both said "Wow, have you lost weight?!" I can dance with my Husband again. I am aiming to have my dancers body back before next summer and I am strong enough to keep up with everyone now (people had to walk really slow for me).

It's not about my size though, I could be happy as a bigger girl too, but I'm a dancer, I want my mind and body to work for me in that way. It's what you want your mind and body to do for you. A better singer? A better artist? A better swimmer? Whatever it is, become strong. Cause like that lady in the video says, your more than just a number on a scale.

It's a hard road to become strong. It takes time and sometimes you just want to cry or give up but you just can't because it WILL come if your working at it, even just a little, everyday. I have had a set back for two weeks now and I am a little upset about it, I had food poisoning last week and now I have a cold, its not exactly my year for health! lol. But that's ok, frustrating, but it's ok. Next week I will probably be back to my old self again... and I will dance.

[AniaR]

Shawn, you're gorgeous. I know how media expects men to be but can I just say a lot of women find that gross? My cousin was the #1 body builder in Canada for a while. Love the guy, but he looked like a cow on steroids. my BF if pretty muscly, he's had a goal that he wanted to meet and now since he's 35 he wanted to push and see if he could get the muscle he always wanted. He's pretty close to his goal but I'm constantly on his case not to take it too far. I think you look awesome I know, it's one thing when other people say it we need to believe it ourselves. I'm glad Rocky has helped you <3 Thanks for sharing your experience. I never see men really talk much about it so it's great to have your perspective.

Lexia- I totally appreciate not wanting to do things around people. When I was at my sickest I was SO weak. It was mega embarrassing to do things around people. My family even teased me a bit not meaning to hurt my feelings but it did. So I can really appreciate where you're coming from there. Maybe try and incorporate walking more into your routine, maybe a few basic yoga poses in your bedroom, situps and stuff? I'm glad you're getting to swim more, that's great. I can appreciate that weight is a lifelong journey for many. I have friends who just like you, as a kid under 10 were working even then on their weight.

Silversiren I am so sorry you had to go through all that. While my illnesses are different I had similar experiences. I have spoken before about how mermaiding was my motivation to learn to walk all over again after being so Ill I couldnt! People don't realize how frustrating, embarrassing, painful, and depressing it is to have to recover from an illness or injury that is SO BAD you lose functions everyone else takes for granted. Like walking, or peeing, or holding something in your hand! I am so thankful to hear you're on the road to recovery and SO thankful you shared your story. I think sharing stories like this bring us all together and closer as a community. I think you put it into words much better than I did- but like you said, we're changing so we can meet our goals like dancing, singing, swimming- whatever they are! <3

Thanks for sharing you 3!

[Mer_Adella]

When I went into high school (freshman year) I was 163lbs. I was teased as being fat, overweight, all that other jazz. Right before I turned 17 (in my junior year) I came down with a 103 fever, severe back pain, and eventually I started urinating blood. I was rushed to the E.R. where they told me that my left kidney was shutting down and I was going into renal failure. After a long week of recovery, I only have 90% of my left kidney, i had lost 40lbs in one week (yikes!) and i found the cause. I was taking antibiotics to try and clear up my horrible acne. ONe of the side affects of the antibiotic was (drumroll) renal failure! my doctor had never even considered that when he perscribed it to me. Once I went back to school, all I heard down the hallway as I walked was "she had lypo" "sucked the fat right out of her. Wish the could do the same with the ugly" and blah blah blah. After a long time, I decided I didn't care. unfortunately i dont know If i will ever gain any weight back at all.

As far as men go, I told my boyfriend that if he ever lost his belly flub (not really a beer belly and not really fat, just sticks out farther than his chest) i would leave him. LOL that tells you what I think of the "washboard stomach". I look at it this way. Girls would you rather lay your head down on a guys whose stomach is hard as a rock and uncomfortable as hell, OR would you rather lay your head down on a stomach that you could fall asleep on?

[AniaR]

I think I know what drug it was, was it acutane or something like it? I heard there's high risk for a LOT of problems with that drug. A friend developed Crohns while on it. So glad you ended up okay. The nerve of some people, nobody could some up and ask you what happened. Geesh. I remember I was really sick my senior year and I went swimming with some girls who called me anorexic. -_- people can be so dumb

[Mermaid Margarete]

Wow. These are all very inspirational stories. Thank you so much for stepping up and sharing them!

I actually used to be a weight loss consultant so I've heard a lot of weight related stories and struggles and I usually break down in tears cause so many people have such a life long journey and so many personal obstacles to overcome.

I was a bit chunky as a teen - nothing of a terrible size, but I def wasn't that skinny, popular girl - however I was popular cause I was down to earth, in the top of my class and easy to talk to. I never really cares much about how I looked. My mom wouldn't let me wear form fitting clothes but I wasn't thrilled with my figure, so I didn't care that much. When I finally moved to Hawaii for school I was surrounded by skinny girls running around in swimwear and here I was desperately trying to find clever ways to cover up. After about 6 months of school I stepped on the scale and wanted to cry. I was at the heaviest I had ever been (162 lbs) NOW I know that isn't that much, but it was enough to inspire me to take my health and fitness seriously. I originally wanted a quick fix diet but while researching for one of those I actually came across this website that changed my life; sparkpeople.com. They have a food journal that opened my eyes to my eating habits and then their fitness tracker made it super easy to set up goals for being more active. My goal at that time was to be 135 by the time I went to Australia for a vacation. I made it to 138. I was so mad I plateaued at 138! I was exercising 3 times a day, a run in the morning, two hours at the gym, a run during the evening (all while going to school full time and working two part time jobs) and I still couldn't get rid of those 3lbs. I actually developed a few eating disorders including bulimia and under eating... and I STILL remained 138lbs... ( I now realize I wasn't eating enough to match my activity which is why I couldn't lose the last 3lbs, but I had no idea at the time).

Anyways, I went to Australia for my 2 week vacation and didn't care what I ate and gained a few pounds (so much for my eating disorders sticking around when there are delicious new foods to try XD). And then when I moved to Australia 8 months later I gained a few more pounds from such a drastic change in diet and activity.

I've been back from Australia for 2.5 years now and a few weeks ago I was sitting at 147lbs... and I wasn't happy. I haven't been watching what I eat (tho I do eat mostly "healthy" foods) BUT I hadn't been doing much activity outside of my fulltime desk job. I have been floating around 145 for years and I want to get back between 140/135 SO I started being active again. I've been taking ballet, going for a walk during my lunch break at work and NOW today I'm going to start swimming, again. I'm also trying to be even more mindful about what I put in my mouth - I have such a sweet tooth at times >.<

Getting back down there is more than just a number tho, I do local modeling have been modeling for 2.5 years. I did a photoshoot recently and I wanted to cry when I got the photos back... My stomach area was just not acceptable to me... I plan on doing another shoot in that same outfit, too...but after I loose a few pounds and tone up. I'm just way too out of shape by my own standards T_T

[SilverSiren]

I have to agree with AniaR Shawn! I find really buff guys kinda gross. Cut, defined and thin are all good to me. My hubby is a tall thin guy and he is sssooooooo shmexy! Not a defined muscle on the guy. He's a massive gamer, geekaziod, smarty pants and thats waaayyyy more sexy. I also have a thing for guys with glasses. So, really, that whole buff guy thing really isn't doing it for me personally. And AniaR is right, your a hottie.

Thank you AniaR for your support and sharing your story as well. I think also it's more mentally taxing than physically. It was so frustrating that I wanted to break down and cry all the time... and some days I did (coupled with the urge to turn into the hulk and smash everything out of anger and frustration). It can just be so... infuriating. You look at yourself in the mirror and think "When will it end? Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?" And the answer, when you are thinking clearly, is - Someday. Because sh*t happens so we can appreciate the good even more. Nothing. Doesn't make it suck any less at the time though! lol.

I love everyone's stories. It's inspiring. It's so awesome happy good times when people realize they are so much more.

[telzey.amberdon]

Lightweights. I weigh over 100 kg. I have biked for an hour a day, martial arts 4 times a week, dieted 2500 cal. All I got was mean. Just go with the weight and if your health is good, learn to live with who you are. And in water, mers don't weigh anything at all.

[New York Mermaid]

when i got married i was at my lightest 128lbs, after my surgery and a miscarriage i ended up at 165lbs and that is the heaviest ive been. And that includes my thyroid issue which makes it so much harder to loose weight.

Im now at 157. the only thing that bugs me is i do have a little roll and in some photos look pregnant..lol but Im working hard, I got the perfect pullup which i do every other day to strengthen my arms and my core, it moves into three positions and i also do a bit of dance central /just dance (got to get my cardio in) for 2 hours at least 3 times a week. Thats about it for the moment, i have to be careful to because if i work out to hard my lung begins to burn. this is do to the lung surgery i had a while back, if i over exhert myself It feels like that lung is on fire.

[Blondie]

I read an article in Glamour magazine about them slimming down La Naissance de Venus with photoshop. Then they took a survey with men on their opinion on which was more attractive.



I can't remember the exact number off the top of my head, but it was something around 80% of the men favored the unedited "bigger" woman. And I was pleasantly surprised with this answer. As a kid growing up, I was ABSORBED in what models looked like. Even though I was just eleven I wanted to look like that. I would bike a lot and pace around the house, hell I even calorie counted a little as a kid. Which makes me sad when I look back at it.
Still today I have that "perfect" picture in my head. I'm 140 lbs myself but I want to go back down to 135/130. But that's my opinion. As long as you yourself are happy with your body, who the hell has the right to tell you what you look like? Just don't care because it's a waste of your time.

[Mermaid Azira]

I have been sick this whole year. First, right after my birthday, I got really bad mono. (I missed four months of school.) Then as soon as I was getting better, I got a concussion. It being my fourth concussion, I was really sick the whole summer. I could not walk with out falling down and crazy dizzy. Just getting better now, but a whole year of being sick and not being able to exercise frequently I gained weight.

[AniaR]

Im now at 157. the only thing that bugs me is i do have a little roll and in some photos look pregnant.

That's what I get when I sit. lol I call it my buddah belley.

For the record Lanai, while I have never said it publicly, I think you are the ideal mer body. You look curvy like a healthy woman, not too thin, but not too heavy either. You have a very pinup model figure. Your photos always make me happy too because of how smiley you are. It's infectious. I have chronic "mean face syndrome" in my photos. lol working on it.

I'm very sorry to hear you had a miscarriage too

[Mermaid Lorelei]

Please forgive me if I end up writing a book. I'll try to keep this short.

First, thank you Raina for starting this. It's definitely a sore subject for a lot of people and almost everyone has some sort of body image issue.

So, here's my little story. I've always had problems with my body. My weight, for one, but I've also had to deal with things like asthma, a distended stomach at birth, insistent stomach issues, and newly diagnosed chronic depression, panic attacks, and anxiety. My asthma will unfortunately never go away. I can work through it and train my body to respond differently, but it will always be in the background threatening to take my breath away (literally). Just recently we (my doctors and I) think we have finally figured out what is wrong with my stomach. Mind you, we've been trying to figure this out for 20 years. And then on top of it all, I've been overweight for practically my whole life. At my largest, I hit 175. I'm currently at 153, but I'm working my way down to 140. From past experience, 135 is my target healthy weight. Anything less and I look kind of sick.

Anyways, I think I'm probably getting off on a ramble. I mostly just wanted to say that I understand completely how you all feel and I urge you to find yourself and your personal beauty before listening to a lick of the world around you. :>

[Mizuko]

I've always struggled with how I look. My older sister was the embodiment of beauty- she was model-like, perfect hair, perfect clothes, etc. I was a tom-boy until about 15, where I hit the dreaded awkward teen stage. I never felt good enough in comparison. It was hard growing up being known as the 'sister of that pretty girl'. lol. I lost a lot of weight because of it when I was 16- just stopped eating as much. It may have been 'baby-fat' as I've never put it back on, but I still dont feel pretty enough most days.
Although two years ago I meet Michael, my partner, and he's made me see my body in a completely different light. I feel beautiful when I'm with him. It's really changed my view on myself- I dont care about losing weight, I only want to be fit and healthy. I dont weigh myself either; muscle is heavier than fat so I know I'm heavier than I was as a teen but that's because I'm stronger too. I still struggle, but its been easier.

[happyguava]

You guys are so inspiring. You've been through so much and you don't lose hope... It's completely amazing to me. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories.

I feel really guilty now, for hating my body and myself and the way I look, but never having had some horrible disease to cause it. Yes I am overweight in most people's eyes. I have a mental illness and have been on pretty gross medication that made me put on heaps. I also binge eat as a coping mechanism. A lot of people would therefore say it's my fault that I'm overweight... I still don't know what I think.

Anyway, the bottom line is I'm fat and it makes me feel bad and I need to work on undoing it!!

[New York Mermaid]

That's what I get when I sit. lol I call it my buddah belley.

Lol trust me even out of tail im asked, "are you FINALLY PREGNANT (after 8yrs of marriage)".. Um no.. just love to eat tasty food!

For the record Lanai, while I have never said it publicly, I think you are the ideal mer body. You look curvy like a healthy woman, not too thin, but not too heavy either. You have a very pinup model figure. Your photos always make me happy too because of how smiley you are. It's infectious. I have chronic "mean face syndrome" in my photos. lol working on it.
I'm very sorry to hear you had a miscarriage too

Why Thank you Raina! You know i always wanted to do a pin up photoshoot. Im going to wait till i tone up a bit more, I have a gorgeous dress im planning on wearing if i do this shoot. But going back on my weight issue, its just that ALL the women in my mother's and father's side of the family are heavy my older sister as well she's close to 300lbs.. Im trying to keep myself in a good weight and keep toned (but been a bit lazy lately). LOL on the mean face syndrome .. no you look like your in- deep thought. . Im always a smiler the NE Pod knows that. Im glad I can make everyone smile - see now im smiling. (Hmm a good way to get you to smile, think back to the day you opened your new tail)

As for the miscarriage, well it wasnt an expected pregnancy (I actually found out i was pregnant the moment they told me i was having the miscarriage, when i personally thought a cyst popped which caused the unbelievable pain. my hubby and i were just 6 months into our marriage. I was also recovering from a surgery as well. Yeah i went through the emotional hell with it and took it out on my body (eating your feelings). But went to therapy and all that. Im fine with it now. I guess with all the work im doing with helping animals and working with kids, thats all the "mothering" i feel i need to do. believe me with the health issues i have on and off, my husband says adoption is the way to go. and i agree. when it's time we will have a little one of our own to love and care for.. but for now i got 3 birds to love and a puppy (who will be here in december).

[AniaR]

Anyway, the bottom line is I'm fat and it makes me feel bad and I need to work on undoing it!!

I think we all have underlying issues that contribute to our weight and body. Mine is sickness, like a few people here, and yours stems from mental illness, like many other people here. Any kind of depression, anxiety, OCD or any other related personality disorder can make it impossible to have a healthy body.

I think you're all amazing men and women, but I feel so sad that we're all facing such intense personal struggles. I'm glad I started this thread, it's good to look at issues like body image for both women AND men. It's good to talk about illnesses we face INCLUDING mental ones. We are mernetwork, emphasis on the NETWORK. I think we focus a lot on the MER and sometimes not enough on the network. We are a network of support for each other. <3

I'm thinking maybe we can do a related thread on mental illness like depression, ocd, anxiety, personality disorders, learning disabilities etc. I think it's good to see the struggles we all face, it validates us to know we're not alone. And then we can be a support network for each other.

Also, I think we just blew the skinny minny mermaid stereotype out of the water

[Moongazer]

I'll add more when I get back.

Well let me say, "I'm not the only one! yay!" I'm sure we all think at some point down the road, "why is it only me"? I've just recently found out that 3 close friends of mine all have 'girly' problems as well and its such a relief to have someone to talk too. And now a whole forum, haha.

Anyways, I have a chronic illness called emdromitriosis. It's where the lining of your uterus grows in the wrong places, causing pain. there are verifying degrees of this and I just happen to have a severe case of it. I have period cramps almost every single day. Like... Think of the worst cramps you've ever had and then imagine that for the rest of your life everyday. That's what I have and have gone through for 3 years now when it decided to flare up.

I also have ovarian cysts (Or had, they are gone now but will return if I stop taking the pill). This was indeed painful as the ones I had where too small to remove and big enough to be a painful problem. IBS on top of this doesn't help either.

Anyways emdromitriosis is an incurable disease. The ONLY ways to get rid of it are... To have a baby or have a hysterectomy, and even having a baby it usually comes back within months to years. So no guarantees. Yes you could 'burn' the lining (Literally) but after 5 years it grows back (Natural healing and all that). So, after having been to the hospital more times then I can count for painkillers and such, my work has given me the opportunity to work from home, but after finding out what I actually have, I might not ever be able to go back.

It's a terrible feeling, to not know if your work will keep you or not because you can't cure the thing that is making you sick. It's part of why I took up mermaiding when I found out it was a 'thing'. I've always wanted my own business and now, here it is. Yeah, I've only just gotten things together in the last 3 weeks but I think having over 50+ likes on my page so far is pretty good.

I'm basically stuck on painkillers for the rest of my life, until I have that surgery. So yeah. That's my story. ^^