Bullying/Harrassment

[Oceana]

I think it's about time that we have a bullying/harrassment thread on here, because even though our community is gaining popularity, we're still considered "fringe"


I've been dressing/performing as a mermaid since I was 15 years old, and I have gone through a craptonne of bullying since "coming out of the clamshell" I had a horrific newspiece done on me (which I'm now pursuing legal action against) that resulted in me changing high schools, and is now creating workplace ridicule.

This thread will to be to share stories and how to cope and show support for the rest of us who may be going through tough times.

Mods: If this is in the wrong forum or is considered inappropriate, feel free to move or delete!

[MermaidAubrin]

thank you for posting this !!! i feel that some mers have been a bit rude on the fourm and i think that this should be a safe place were we can excepted for the beautiful ( or handsome if your a merman) mers we are

[Moonflower]

Oceana, I'm SO glad you posted this. I wanted to post about it myself, but I didn't want to tread on any fins. I've seen first-hand what mermaiding, taken out of context, can do to turn so many people into the stereotypical 'let's make fun of it because we don't understand it'. I've also seen how hurt you have been over this, and you know I'll be there to support you no matter what, because the pain you've had to endure because of one TV station's ridicule and defamation of character at the expense of a (then) 15 year old girl! And then the stubborn person who uploaded the interview and refuses to remove it. It's horrible, and I wish you swift justice. *hugs*

[AniaR]

I really do still very strongly you should address the HR rep for where you're working, and if you dont know who it or or where to find them I'd do everything I can to help.

I personally feel that I get in the "drama" so to speak because I refuse to allow bullying, to stand by and watch it happen to someone else, and to do everything I can not to become one because as I have learned in your effort to fight a bully you can become one.

I think the oldest principal still applies: the bystander effect. If you stand by and watch and do nothing bullies get worse. Sticking up for yourself and others may cause more attention and drama but I still think it's better than doing nothing. I appreciate people try to stay out of drama though.

I have experienced online bullying on DA really bad when they gave me seniority status. A user (who's alt account I got banned for harassment) ran a group souly focused on drama and harassment and they targeted me. They made a giant popular post about me and even went to the length to create fake screenschots about me. (would black out my name and avatar but claim it was me sending the messages) EVERYONE believed it. Even staff. I finally caught them on encylopedia dramatica bragging about it and all the lies they pulled and I was horrified when after reporting that to DA admin(who have harassment policies) nothing happened. I couldn't believe it. I was made a big giant example of when all of DA was focused on me, made to look like a liar art thief (the harasser said I was an art thief because I switched from drawing to photos, OVER THE COURSE OF 8 YEARS ON THE SITE), and this happened in January and I still get trolled because of it, I still get people constantly bothering me, and DA does nothing yet will ban a user over one comment. I have stuck around since January trying to stand up for myself but it just feeds the trolls. So I wrote a letter to the owner of DA, I joined a group on FB for pissed of senior, ex staff, ex volunteer members (so I could have support) and I have to limit myself on the site. It sucks because I spent 8 years there all about art, I pissed of 1 wrong person and now it's just easier to leave the site then deal with it. But I did stand up for myself, I did everything I could, and there's no shame once you've done that- of stopping.

In the mer community it's all been about a certain talk maker and certain mermaids I dont agree with. I think the thing that frustrated me the most is that all the stuff, harassment and threats that go on behind the scenes. I really hate when the law and copyright is exploited as a means of intimidating people and if you check out my mertailor review thread you'll see when bullying was taken too far I got a lawyer and things were put to an end. I HOPE Eric and I both have an understanding now. it's exhausting to be on your guard all the time. I have no hopes for reconciliation etc. I think things have finally just stopped between us too.

We have freedom of speech on this page, but we also need to have respect for one another. I encourage all of you to call ME out if you think what I say and do is not okay, I am not the typical person who will mouth off at you. I do my best to be approachable and calm when people are upset with me so we can reach a solution. I never wanna see what was done to KL done to anyone else on here again.

[green52]

Oceana, while I certainly wish you hadn't been made to go through the experience, I have a lot of respect for the way you've handled yourself. Its unfortunate that people have to get mistreated before something becomes acceptable and mainstream, however anyone who enjoys harmless things that are still acceptable topics for harassment owes a lot to you. Thanks for holding your head high.

[Aquatica]

I am very sorry to here about this,
I have had to deal will bullying/ harssment at my sons school and know how much it crushed him in side...i hate to see this happend to any one.

I wish you the best, stay strong and know that you are loved.

Hope things get worked out soon