B!TC# IT OUT!

[Mermaid Saphira]

SO here's my B!TC#...

I just moved to be closer to my family and to live with a very good friend I've had since I was little, she's always copied me which was fine to an extant it was a bit flattering that someone wanted to be like me, however I just found out she's taken it too far... She legally changed her name so it's the same as mine, got engaged to someone that she only dated 3 months kuz he has the same name as my man, she dyed her hair and got the same piercings and the same tattoo I have(only one that she knows about)...creepy right... Well when I brought up that it's a bit odd she said "your over reacting, I'm just experessing myself" I told her it was a bit too weird for me and my fiancée so we broke the rental agreement and moved in with my mother for the time being, hopefully we can find a place soon because she drives me insane and always want to know when I will be giving her grandbabys..... Ummmm never hopefully.....

Im not sure if I did over react but I don't really want another "me" running around it was ok when she just acted like me but changing her name and appearance seems like its gone too far

Anyhoo that's my b!tc# of creepiness and such

I use to have a friend (ex friend now) that tried to be just like me as well. Just an example..she was a lefty and would (try) to write w/ her right hand just because I did...even worse we were only in 2nd (1st?) grade! I had to get my mom to come in a few times T_T Luckily, she moved away *phew*

[Koral]

Ohhh Adella I don't like what I hear. I don't know what to say other than to share my similar experience. Now sex is no problem - he or I initiate pretty equally, though sometimes I do have to remind him or at least send an intimate hint for him to chase after. (The game of chase is pretty fun!) Sure sure "relationships aren't about sex at all" but in my opinion intimacy is a very important part of nature. We are not the common animal that only mates during mating season solely to procreate. We are like our dolphin friends that go at it year around just for fun. Call me crass, but we're all humans.

For a while, my beau and I, when living together, had that sort of "unintentional roommate" status. I had stopped initiating because I was the only one starting things. Eventually I got sick of it and confronted him about it. Communication goes very far in a relationship, and in ours it happens frequently. I outright told him that his lack of advancing makes me feel unattractive, I feel he doesn't find me beautiful, etc. I asked him why he wasn't advancing on me, why I had to do it all the time. He told me this: "I'm used to women coming on to me, I've never had to advance on a woman." I told him pretty much the same; that men always came to me, and since he wasn't doing that, he must not want me. He said he'd try his best to change that, and now he knows my situation and I know his. He's getting better, but since I've been through a lot of stress he's backed off again, but he still makes an effort when we ARE finally alone (his brother visits his place a lot). Problem now is with my stress I sometimes deny the smut. When I'm in a calm situation again I'll probably have to remind him it's okay to advance on me.

I hope sharing my experience helps a little bit. Just remember that communication is extremely healthy in a relationship and never be afraid to talk about anything on your mind. "Knowing, is half the battle." Question. Do you see him during the week? Do you live together? Is the 48 hours the ONLY time you see him? I ask all this because your scenario is different in that way from mine, and honestly I am a little worried. What's he doing when he gets home from work? Then again, I don't know what kind of job he has either to gauge the time frames. Just remind him that you too have needs, you find him intimately attractive and want to share that special bond with him. All in all, just talk.

And I have to say, some men have thicker brains than others, if you've already told him "your lack of advance makes me feel as though you don't find me beautiful or want me," you may have to remind him repeatedly til he gets it. Or, (*)risk losing you if he can't communicate and help in making the relationship healthy. It's a partnership, which means both people have to work together to make something beautiful. When faced with the chance of losing you, if a man really loves you, he will panic and look harder at the error in his ways. If you see he doesn't care upon the risk occurring, then he sadly doesn't care and it must be time to move on.(*) Thalassa is right about clearing the air, let me tell you men are clueless when we are angry, and even if it's obvious what they've done, they just don't get it and need to outright know. Leaving him without telling him will leave him clueless, so tell him why you are contemplating leaving him (just to support what I said in the meat of this paragraph, not saying you're leaving him).

Just... most men are clueless. End of story. LOL

* this I speak from multiple experiences in the past, I'm not BSing this part or blowing smoke out my tail end.

[Felicia]

I use to have a friend (ex friend now) that tried to be just like me as well. Just an example..she was a lefty and would (try) to write w/ her right hand just because I did...even worse we were only in 2nd (1st?) grade! I had to get my mom to come in a few times T_T Luckily, she moved away *phew*

Well we been friends since we were like 6 or so our mums have known each other since highschool and I've always been use to her buyin the same clothes and occasionally she would dye her hair black (my natural hair color) but alot of people dye their hair black its nothing unusual but now my hair is usually 2-4 colors usually very vibrant funky colors its hard to say its not copying now.... But this all started when we were like 8 or 9 with clothes and style in general which was fine but I think the part that has me freaked out the most is the name thing... I mean that's my name for cryin out loud and she didn't tell me about I found out because of our mail and such, which if she's "expressing herself" and it's not suppose to be weird seems like something would have been said

[Mer_Adella]

I hope sharing my experience helps a little bit. Just remember that communication is extremely healthy in a relationship and never be afraid to talk about anything on your mind. "Knowing, is half the battle." Question. Do you see him during the week? Do you live together? Is the 48 hours the ONLY time you see him? I ask all this because your scenario is different in that way from mine, and honestly I am a little worried. What's he doing when he gets home from work? Then again, I don't know what kind of job he has either to gauge the time frames. Just remind him that you too have needs, you find him intimately attractive and want to share that special bond with him. All in all, just talk.

And I have to say, some men have thicker brains than others, if you've already told him "your lack of advance makes me feel as though you don't find me beautiful or want me," you may have to remind him repeatedly til he gets it. Or, (*)risk losing you if he can't communicate and help in making the relationship healthy. It's a partnership, which means both people have to work together to make something beautiful. When faced with the chance of losing you, if a man really loves you, he will panic and look harder at the error in his ways. If you see he doesn't care upon the risk occurring, then he sadly doesn't care and it must be time to move on.(*) Thalassa is right about clearing the air, let me tell you men are clueless when we are angry, and even if it's obvious what they've done, they just don't get it and need to outright know. Leaving him without telling him will leave him clueless, so tell him why you are contemplating leaving him (just to support what I said in the meat of this paragraph, not saying you're leaving him).

Just... most men are clueless. End of story. LOL

* this I speak from multiple experiences in the past, I'm not BSing this part or blowing smoke out my tail end.

Koral thanks for that good to know I'm not the only one. No I do not see him during the week. Yes, the 48hrs is the ONLY time I see him. We talk or text throughout the week on the phone. When he gets home from work on friday he comes in and kisses me and gives me a hug. Otherwise we cook dinner and sit down and watch TV. We bought a house together, mostly to have a place to call home and a place where I can live and we can be alone together when he is home from work. He is a robotic engenieer (the robots that build cars...he builds/programs them) So his job is every where and anywhere. He works down by detroit right now but possibly in a month he will be in Kanas City, MO and I will only see him every other weekend. And yes, I have told him and we have talked about it before. Not recently, but we have. He had said that sometimes he is just tired, othertimes that he is tried of making the move, (which mine are suttle aka kissing his fingers, neck, licking earlobe whereas his are plainly grabbing my boobs lol) I know that I will need to talk to him soon. I know that he cares about me (otherwise when he gets home from work he wouldn't come and kiss me first right?)

Thanks Koral I am actually going to put hair extensions in tonight so that way when he gets home this weekend he will be "surprised" that I look different (nothing drastic but just a small change he will notice)

[roamingmer]

It really does sound like male exhaustion - and libido goes flat. And if there is a nyphomaniac in the house it really can have a strange effect on guys - not the way you expect. However one big change which you might try - Throw out the TV. (well not literally) and enjoy more time and quiet evenings. I found the TV, Internet and Mernetwork (joke) a great way to soak up the brain power when overload kicks in. And it does it very well. We got rid of our TV 6 years ago and now only watch the programmes we really want to see. Really good comedy; home design etc. Perhaps a film or two (on notebook), but im not a big film fan. An semi-erotic film to allow his imagination to flourish.

Wait for him to come home and wait in your mermaid form. Big sign above saying help me? You got stuck after a long day wishing... Take him to bed to talk and slowly stroke his hair, temples and chest. He probably really needs to _relax_. Hot tub scrub with quiet music on a saturday morning? He might be really tired and rebel (so listen for the warning signs - grunts, low attention span, drifting off into space when you talk to him). Or you might be able to lift the lid and let his soul unwind.

From my experience - working 10-12 hour days for months on end; the last thing I want at a weekend is an over-sexed partner; even if it can be relaxing. And when guys are tired and stressed; they are pretty useless at reading subtle signs even when women think they are obvious. Koral is completely correct...

[Koral]

I agree with roaming after hearing what his job is. Male exhaustion for SURE. Can cloud the brain! The tub soaking and massage is a REALLY good idea (and can lead to more if you are skilled and lucky). I know when my beau is stressed or sore, I love to rub his shoulders, back, neck, back of his head. Even if we aren't being really intimate at this point, just making him feel good in a relaxing manner makes ME feel good. In that heart-floating bubbly sort of way. A bonding experience, really! And, if he doesn't feel pressured, it REALLY helps. My first boyfriend I ever had, he really pushed me about it, saying things like "it's been ____ since we did it," and he was to the hour on reporting our last intimate moment. It was so annoying that I rarely took him to bed. So just focus on him relaxing, don't talk much about it, and it will probably just happen when you least expect it.

(and this, nereids and tritons, is why we need an adult section bahaha!)

[Mermaid Lei Loni]

I'm really feeling the need to bitch it out right now. I'm so frustrated, I'm not even sure where to start.

My health is in the toilet. I have Type 1 Diabetes and am on insulin therapy. I also have a myriad of other health related issues that I don't want to go into right now. I've been coming to work feeling like crap for weeks. My body is starting to fall apart. I think a huge part of it is stress related too. So I put in a request at my work to take a leave of absence for a week. We were talking about how that might be a problem, because there is so much work so I asked to take Thursday, Friday, and Tuesday off so I could work through the stress at home (don't even get me started!) and so I could schedule some more Dr's appointments and a therapist. And this week is especially bad because this is my Dad's death anniversary week (which I didn't want to disclose to my work), so I'm struggling emotionally too. I'm sooo behind on all of my diabetes checkups, that I'm worried I'm going to land myself in the hospital again, compounded with the grieving and stress and I needed some time. Let's just say that the company wasn't really willing to work with me on this leave that I need to take, even when I explained that MOST of it was for HEALTH reasons. If Utah wasn't an "at will work state" I'd probably have grounds for a lawsuit. At any rate, I was able to weasel a day out of them plus the Tues. I need for one of my Dr appts. But it's not going to help in the slightest. On top of that, they also said that in the future, they wouldn't able to give me a dedicated "flex day" (like I was promised in March when I was hired on). I had been taking a day off which had allowed me to get the things done I needed to. But that's gone now too. I was working a 40 hr week, 10 hr days. But they want me here 5 days for 8 hrs, which makes it VERY difficult for me to get to the Dr as I need. And sure, my boss claims to not care if I need medical leave, but then he goes and makes it soooo hard for me to get it. And I always get scrutinized when I leave. I've come to work with my sugars at 500 (which is deadly) before, because I'm scared of what my boss might say. There have been days that I've worked an entire 8-9 hr day with high blood sugars, blurred vision (from too high sugars), migraines, you name it. I'm working on getting my blood sugars in control, but the problem is that I can't get to a specialist because of the problems leaving work. I do the best I can to manage my diabetes, but with it being Type 1 I really need to be visiting an Endocrinologist regularly. Which brings be back to asking for time off because I'm unwell and need to go to the doctor. And my boss is telling me to work and take the bus (but I can't considering transit in Utah can take HOURS to travel 10 miles, which means I need a full day off). He even had the audacity to tell me that maybe work needs to be a bigger priority and to work on home stuff after the fact. When all of this is HEALTH related. I felt like he just signed off on a death warrant. Work and die. So I'm sitting here sobbing at my desk. I need the insurance and the job, but the job is making me sicker. And I'm starting a transition plan and applying to new jobs, but it all takes time, and I'm sick now. I'm just at the end of my rope, and I'm soo upset about not being supported at a job that I've worked so hard at I've made myself sick from stress. I go the extra mile for this company, and when I needed a little time....they turned their back because we're "too busy". I guess the joke will be on them when I walk out of here.

Okay, I feel a little better now.

[roamingmer]

We sometimes have inspirational people at work as our rehabilitation devices can change outlook on lives. A year ago we had someone who had worked as Chief Technical Officer for a very large well known multi-national. He suffered Guille Barre syndrome, survived and now talks about how it changed his life. Short cut: You only live this life once. When you die no-one is going to remember how hard you worked; just that you passed. Your health is critically important.

Unfortunately the USA healthcare system is majorly dysfunctional, needs a lot of change, but creaks along somehow. I remember years ago someone telling me about the Esalen Institute - where if you cant pay your way you can offer to work. No idea if it is any good but might be something I have to do for myself as well.

[Koral]

That is some F****ED up crap, Lei Loni. Your work is more important than your HEALTH? That just infuriates me so much to read, they are lucky I don't walk in to their sorry excuse for a company and give them my two cents and a balled fist to the boss' face - *inhale* Right, I think it's time you walk out of there, Loni. Are you able to make it a month without a job, with those you live with helping to support? Just enough time to make your DR's visits, cool the stress away, and then pick back up. I've been hoping you could find another place to start anew ASAP. Maybe if you do find a new workplace, ask them if you can start after a week or two, just enough time to restore your health?

I am all worried about you now! :'( I'll give you a big hug when I can.

[Mer_Adella]

Okay so this isn't mostly a B*tch but its something that is bothering me....and I have heard all the things like "find another job" etc. but here it goes.


My boss just had his truck repo-ed from the shop about 15min ago. I saw it because I was in my office and saw the truck back up to his truck and start strapping it up. I went out and told my boss this "Dave there is someone backing up to your truck". He jumped down from the ladder and ran outside (he must've known what it was about because he ran, and that man does not run). Him and the guy talked and I could tell that Dave was mad (but my boss used to be the repo guy so he knew that it was just easier to let him take the truck then get into trouble) He then mentioned that it was something to do with a bank and a lawsuit going on with that bank. Something about taking shop property.

He then took the only other mechanic with him to go and pay his truck off and go talk to his lawyer. Now let me clarify. There are three people that work here; the boss, the mechanic, and me. And him and the mechanic took off and I am left alone. I dont want to be alone here especially if they are going to come back and try to take more stuff. What am I supposed to do??

Now it just makes me leery because if he is having stuff repo-ed that means that there is something wrong going on. I am just more or less owrried that when finally FINALLY I have come up with a way to pay my bills efficiently and on time that I will be out of a job because the shop will go under.

That's my bitch.....I am more or less looking for point of views from business owners and/or support. I know that I need to find another job, that is a work in progress. Thanks for listening...er....reading

[mermanjr]

Okay so this isn't mostly a B*tch but its something that is bothering me....and I have heard all the things like "find another job" etc. but here it goes.


My boss just had his truck repo-ed from the shop about 15min ago. I saw it because I was in my office and saw the truck back up to his truck and start strapping it up. I went out and told my boss this "Dave there is someone backing up to your truck". He jumped down from the ladder and ran outside (he must've known what it was about because he ran, and that man does not run). Him and the guy talked and I could tell that Dave was mad (but my boss used to be the repo guy so he knew that it was just easier to let him take the truck then get into trouble) He then mentioned that it was something to do with a bank and a lawsuit going on with that bank. Something about taking shop property.

He then took the only other mechanic with him to go and pay his truck off and go talk to his lawyer. Now let me clarify. There are three people that work here; the boss, the mechanic, and me. And him and the mechanic took off and I am left alone. I dont want to be alone here especially if they are going to come back and try to take more stuff. What am I supposed to do??

Now it just makes me leery because if he is having stuff repo-ed that means that there is something wrong going on. I am just more or less owrried that when finally FINALLY I have come up with a way to pay my bills efficiently and on time that I will be out of a job because the shop will go under.

That's my bitch.....I am more or less looking for point of views from business owners and/or support. I know that I need to find another job, that is a work in progress. Thanks for listening...er....reading

move to florida alot more work and more jobs with better pay as well

[Mer_Adella]

move to florida alot more work and more jobs with better pay as well

Bahahahahahaha I may just have to do that Mermanjr! If only i can convince my bf to sell the house with 40 acres we just bought

[SilverSiren]

For some reason I'm reminded of that movie where the roommate wants to take over the others' life...what was that called again? XP

I agree, that's definitely very creepy, IMHO that's too many coincidences for her to be just borrowing a few of your ideas. :-S

The Resident, is the movie I think you are talking about. I have it on my OnDamand movie list... creepy stuff.

[Mer_Adella]

The Resident, is the movie I think you are talking about. I have it on my OnDamand movie list... creepy stuff.

There is a movie called "The Roommate" where a college has two girls in a dorm and one girl is obsessed with her roommate. Dyes her hair the same color, gets jealous when the girl goes on dates, gets the same tattoo as the roommate and goes as far as pretending shes the roommate and sleeps with the ex boyfriend (right before she kills him) not to scare you or anything. but just saying....that is the movie and your situation is creepy....good thing you moved.

[Felicia]

There is a movie called "The Roommate" where a college has two girls in a dorm and one girl is obsessed with her roommate. Dyes her hair the same color, gets jealous when the girl goes on dates, gets the same tattoo as the roommate and goes as far as pretending shes the roommate and sleeps with the ex boyfriend (right before she kills him) not to scare you or anything. but just saying....that is the movie and your situation is creepy....good thing you moved.

Great one of the few movies I haven't seen so I don't know how to get away from her lol........ Now I'm not sleepin like ever again... But on a more realistic note I don't think she will like kill me or anything.... I hope.... But I think she actually believes she's bein "herself" and that I'm the crazy for pointing out that I think it's just mega weird I really don't think she sees the similarity in everything... Well other than the name which she says she did it in honor of Felicia Hardy(black cat) from marvel not to copy me but we already had the same middle name because our mums thought it would be "cute" since they are friends and we were born 4 months apart so now we are bout Felicia Renee.... So it's weird to me but she says we don't look anything alike and that she's truly "in love" with her guy(with the same name as my man)she's marrying the same week as my wedding even though they have been together/known 3 months but it seems too fast to be getting married already or even know who the person really is or if it's love but whatever for now I will hide out with my mum and hopefully things will blow over and she will move or something

[SilverSiren]

There is a movie called "The Roommate" where a college has two girls in a dorm and one girl is obsessed with her roommate. Dyes her hair the same color, gets jealous when the girl goes on dates, gets the same tattoo as the roommate and goes as far as pretending shes the roommate and sleeps with the ex boyfriend (right before she kills him) not to scare you or anything. but just saying....that is the movie and your situation is creepy....good thing you moved.

Same movie, I live in Europe so things are called differently over here sometimes to make more sense to Europeans, ie a roommate over here is a flatmate or resident. There is another movie we have here that is called something different even though its the same movie as in the US, I can't remember the name of it right now, but I do remember it striking me as very odd and funny. Also, over here, we call "The Office" tv show "The Office: An American Workplace" due to the fact we had the original "The Office" which was British before being adapted into "The Office" that now runs as a American show remake of the British one. Anywaayyyyss, back to the subject at hand, lol. Sorry, didn't mean to cause confusion.

[roamingmer]

Just look out for 'death at a funeral' which was remade as 'death at a funeral' but completely different cast. Or the magic roundabout which had the same story but completely different voices; and often wording...

[Mer_Adella]

Same movie, I live in Europe so things are called differently over here sometimes to make more sense to Europeans, ie a roommate over here is a flatmate or resident. There is another movie we have here that is called something different even though its the same movie as in the US, I can't remember the name of it right now, but I do remember it striking me as very odd and funny. Also, over here, we call "The Office" tv show "The Office: An American Workplace" due to the fact we had the original "The Office" which was British before being adapted into "The Office" that now runs as a American show remake of the British one. Anywaayyyyss, back to the subject at hand, lol. Sorry, didn't mean to cause confusion.

I never thought of that. Plus I wasn't for sure if you were from Europe or not. I'm more of a dry humored person so I watch a lot of "Keeping Up Apperances", "Monty Python", and as of right now "Mrs. Brown's boys". *chuckles* i am so weird.

[Alveric]

I'm generally a contented person, but now I have a bitch. Old age! When I was in my forties I could genuinely say that I could do anything I did when I was nineteen, it just took longer and hurt more. No I'm fifty-six and I'm more and more running across things I just can't do anymore, no matter how long I take or how I grit my teeth.

And injuries don't heal like they used to. I sprained my achilles tendon in June and I still can barely walk! In fact, it's getting worse. I'm going to have to use a cane. I'd like to actually be an eighty-year-old man before I start walking like one!

At least I still have all my hair.

[roamingmer]

Yes injuries take longer to heal, but sometimes it is also about lifestyle and getting the right advice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8doH7rZg9E
In your case I would seriously be asking who is giving you rehabilitation advice; are you performing exercises correctly (all to easy to do it wrong) and is someone monitoring you?
Once an injury lasts more than a few days our bodies adapt to our compensation movements; and they become the normal. Low back pain is the great example - you have an injury, you move differently. You fear repeating the injury and you learn the compensation stategies. Which generally put you at more risk of injury in the future. The biggest risk factor for low back pain - is a previous incidence of low back pain.
Also the body is good at adapting and inventing pain. All too often chronic pain (>12 weeks to 6 months) is often not related to a physiological injury; rather the body gets itself in a positive neuro-chemical feedback loop and reports pain when it is not there.
A seperate high risk factor for long recovery periods - is psychological stress levels. Two identical atheletes training identically will recover differently if one is happy and the other is thinking of splitting up with their partner; or has house / money issues; is not sleeping well etc.