Sunrise you definitely should be involved in and approve of your own treatment. Sometimes the treatments we have are really the lesser of two evils, and with any medication there are side effects and sometimes they are horrible but less horrible than the problem being treated. If you feel you are better without your medication that is very important! I do know though that little seizures that you don't notice can still cause major problems, so I would really like you to research it and other medications you could take. In the end, it is your body and you are the one who has to live with what is done to it. In regards to your mom, usually having research to site to back up what you are saying helps a lot when kids are trying to convince their parents of things; it shows them you are more responsible and mature than they may realize. I hope you can get more control over what is happening to you, because even as an adult when your health starts affecting your life so much it really is maddening!

Sea Pearl I hope you continue to be able to mermaid! I have a strange back problem myself, and though it is not the same as yours it really helps me to be in the water, even with a tail and the dolphin kick. Maybe you can find a way to swim in tail that doesn't cause as much strain on your back? Perhaps moving more from the knees or hips, or even a certain monofin, I would have to research it to be sure but I bet there are more and less back friendly ways, y'know? Also, I am right there with you with anxiety, and I find that mermaiding helps me with that as well! In tail I am somebody else, and the worries don't barge in quite as much.

Prince Calypso while I would definitely trade places with you, I say that as someone who spent half her life underweight and trying to gain it. I'm not trying to say you shouldn't feel bad though, I totally understand where you're coming from and that especially as a black male it is a big issue for you. I wish I had a solution for you, but the only thing that changed my situation was puberty and medication side effects. I can only offer the advice that when we can't change things, we just have to adjust our minds to be as ok with them as possible. I know, kinda sucky advice but it has helped me a lot.

Lately I've been spending a lot of time with healthy people and it just seems to highlight the fact that anyone who has bad health and still goes out there and takes on the world is super awesome!