B!TC# IT OUT!

Miyu that's horrible! If u want you can totally talk to me about it. I hate artificial shit in my food. Can't do it. Pm me and u can vent!!

Update on the funeral, my husbands mother feels a lot better now because she saw Santa at her local bank and he was trying to cheer her up. So she's definitely feeling better about the recent death.
Now we're jut kind of worried about the will. I know it wasn't split equally between siblings and I know there will be internal fighting going on and it's making me nervous :| I know I'm not in it it makes no sense for me to be in it lol so I'm not complaining. I'm just worried about my husbands family breaking apart because he was the only person that tied the family together.

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Originally Posted by Miyu

...I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder (orthorexia)... and unfortunately it's not one of the usual ones, so most therapists/doctors don't even know how to treat it... Not that I'd want to "recover", because then I would just be giving in and eating all these bad foods all the time, because I just know that if I'm suddenly not "OCD about food" anymore, then everyone's just going to go balls-to-the-wall giving me artificial colours and flavours and things cooked in Teflon (which is what started the confrontation this morning).

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When I look up orthorexia its avoiding healthy food to the extreme. Seems healthy to me.

No, it's trying to eat extremely healthy... to the point where it starts causing problems socially or whatever. I LIKE to eat super-healthy, I don't want to eat regularly... but now my mertender is starting to get very frustrated with me because I didn't want to eat the breakfast his cousin cooked because he cooked it on Teflon and things like that. This Thanksgiving I avoided anything that I saw being cooked in Teflon/microwaved, and even avoiding some things because I couldn't see how they were made. I drink organic coffee, use special sugar, buy fair-trade where I can... all on a super-tight budget, because unfortunately I have some sort of disorder that makes me obsess about things like this... But HOW can it be a bad thing if I'm concerned about the planet, the farmers, and my body??!? I don't do it to be "more virtuous" than other people or anything, I do it because if I don't, then I feel like I want to scream and cry and am a horrible person because we have to treat the Earth right and things like that.

It's starting to be a problem because I live in redneckville, and apparently it hurts people's feelings if I don't want to eat their food because of the way it's cooked. I only get frustrated that people expect me to eat like that when it's my dang body... If I want to obsess over the quality of food that's going into my body, I should be allowed to! I shouldn't be reprimanded for not wanting food just because it's hot food in styrofoam. It shouldn't be a big deal if I don't want to eat anything from a non-stick surface. I want to live long enough and make enough money so that I can be a cyborg or something someday (for serious). If I feel like I don't want to eat something so I don't put more carcinogens in my body, then it should be just fine.

So I guess my problem is in the people who tell me that I'm being too picky about things. Who cares if I want to bring my own food or coffee places? It's not fair that there's such a lack of real, whole foods out in general society (at least where I live now - in some cities it's super-easy to eat locally/organically/fair trade).

#firstworldproblems

Seaglass Siren:Thank you for the invitation, I'll keep that in mind :hug: I'm sorry you've gotta deal with that, deaths can cause so much drama sometimes, so I hope you don't have to put up with too much.

treating the Earth right seems virtuous to me.

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Originally Posted by Miyu

...I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder (orthorexia)... and unfortunately it's not one of the usual ones, so most therapists/doctors don't even know how to treat it... Not that I'd want to "recover", because then I would just be giving in and eating all these bad foods all the time, because I just know that if I'm suddenly not "OCD about food" anymore, then everyone's just going to go balls-to-the-wall giving me artificial colours and flavours and things cooked in Teflon (which is what started the confrontation this morning).

I really don't know where to talk abut this, because it's not even technically a diagnosable disorder right now, and I'm not sure if it falls under the "vent about your health" thread or the "living with mental issues" thread, or here. So if I need to move my talk to another thread, just let me know. But I would like someone to talk to about this who doesn't just tell me about the starving kids in Africa who would be happy for the food that's in front of me - because all that makes me think is that someone should find me a way to send my breakfast to them and THEY can eat it and we'll all be happy. :doh:


On another note, I'm getting really sick of the housemates/my bf's family who just barged in here and are totally disrupting everyone's lives, and keeping me and my mertender from being able to do any crafts or take photoshoots, so we can't make money. Also, they like to just sit in their monster gaz-guzzler with poor emissions and just LET IT IDLE FOR AN HOUR while he smokes cigarettes... and of course the fumes all waft into MY room, because I live on a porch with a door that won't close.

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Wow, the housemates sound obnoxious. Orthorexia may not be officially on the books yet, but any eating disorder, even a recently discovered one, is a legitimate health issue and should be able to go in either of the threads you mentioned. I can understand wanting to eat healthy, but if it's interfering with your life then it's a real problem.

My head is KILLING me and I know it's just the start. Tomorrow morning, I will get up with a brutal migraine and get on the city bus to school where, if past migraines are any indication, I will literally cry at least three times from the pain before my classes are over for the day. I should be staying home, in bed, sleeping it off, but I'm too damned proud to take a day off for this. I'm too damned proud for my own good. I'm already in tears from the pain, and this is nowhere near the worst of it. I'm considering taking the first absence I've taken all semester with only three school days left. I'd be a sucker to take it now, but I just don't know if I can do it. I'm already taking ibuprofen, but it just hurts so much! I don't know what to do.

I just....dont get it >_< what does it mean when a girl tells you that you are.... "Too nice"??? Like, what? I just... I just can't even... Basically a converstion occurred between me and a group of female friends where the concept of dating came up and the response from a few of them about me went basically like this: "Yeah, you're a great guy and ur funny and cool and all that... You're just... Too nice... Like, you are just really GOOD. I couldn't deal with that, we would never work out. I need a "rude" guy"
Can someone please explain that to me because not only did a few of the other girls in the group agree, this isn't the first time I have heard that. I actually had a friend who dumped her boyfriend because he was "too nice and romantic" >_< I'm like.... So I should start being rude, calling you b*tches, slapping you on the ass, and just being an all around prick to get your attention now? I am not even interested in ANY of them but the simple fact that me being nice and good makes them not interested in me is just simply mind blowing. Like... I just can't even describe in words the confusion I am feeling.... Ugh. I dont know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.

Take it as a compliment, definitely. It's a sad state of affairs that some women accept rude behaviour from men, and even encourage it. As a society we need to establish that kindness, and just generally be a decent person in relationships should be the norm.

Here's an interesting article discussing the trend: http://www.theproblemismen.com/rants/badboys

They're stupid.

Who the fuck wants a horrible boyfriend who disrespects them??

It can often stem from low self esteem, but yeah, in many cases I have to suppose that they don't have all their cornflakes in one box.

A lot of women are coming from psych 101- their dads are jerks, so they are attracted to men who are jerks. Also, a lot of women mistake rude men who are jerks for men with confidence, and there is a difference.

Don't waste your time with a girl who thinks you're too nice, she has all sorts of issues and you're dodging a bullet.

I am going to chip in my 5cents on the whole 'badboy' thing but a warning that this will be kinda NSFW so any minors, please cover your eyes with your fins and skip reading this, k? :P

I'm kinda a mix of preferences. Best way to put it.... I like a guy who treats me as an equal, who treats me well and cares deeply, and treats me like a princess. BUT I need a guy who can eh... also take control :P I could never date a guy who pandered to my every whim and was a pushover because I need someone strong enough not to move when I push, because I push to test. If that makes sense? lol I can BS and play up, and need someone to basically be like 'nope not happening sweetheart' because they care enough and know me enough to see through it. It makes me feel more secure and safe. So someone 'too nice' who would just let me walk all over them isn't going to work. I want to fee like I'm with someone strong who can protect me (even from myself). Not because i'm weak, I am strong. It's just who and what I need. But I would never put up with rudeness, abuse etc. There is a very big difference. And I think a lot of women forget that when they're looking for guys.

I TOTALLY get where you are coming from, but it has been my experience that when a girl tells a guy that, she is putting him firmly into the 'friend zone'. Meaning, never in a million years, but you can do favors for me.

Ignore them.

Ms. Right will come along when you least expect her.

Once I read that one of the reasons women like "bad boys" is because in their heart, they (women) want to be "the one" that changes them (men) from "bad boy" into "perfect companion". In being with them, the guy will realize he is being a jerk and change for good, and it will all have happened because of their love - cue romantic music and Hollywood finale of them being happily ever after.

It sounded quite reasonable to me. Of course, perusing the article briefly, the self-steem issue sounded right too. The one I cannot bunderstand is the "sex" one. A guy that is a jerk is not going to be concerned how his partner is enjoying intimacy, and will look only after his own needs, masculine features or not. IMHO.

So on Friday 11/28 I went to an interview for a new pizza place in the little shopping center in my neighborhood. They told me to bring a coppy of my id and social security card, and my food handlers license today. So I did and the lady then told me that I needed to bring a copy of a signed M2 paperwork, which my parents promptly said wasn't right and they were making a mistake and to bring them the M4 paperwork which they then told me they sent me an email which had the M2 paperwork or something. I never got an email even though they then made me double check the had the right email address which they did and then the guy told me that needed a I9 form and to call or text him if i had anymore trouble. So I went home and double checked my email and junk mail there was and still is nothing, I tried calling the guy and he didn't answer so I waited about 10 minuets and texted him asking to resend the email which he never replied to. the worst thing is that they told me that they needed all the paperwork by 5pm tonight... can i just say FML right now!! They are wasting my whole day on this crap and I have to still work on a project for college.

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Lilium

I am going to chip in my 5cents on the whole 'badboy' thing but a warning that this will be kinda NSFW so any minors, please cover your eyes with your fins and skip reading this, k? :P

I'm kinda a mix of preferences. Best way to put it.... I like a guy who treats me as an equal, who treats me well and cares deeply, and treats me like a princess. BUT I need a guy who can eh... also take control :P I could never date a guy who pandered to my every whim and was a pushover because I need someone strong enough not to move when I push, because I push to test. If that makes sense?

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It makes sense. I need a strong partner, because if a significant other doesn't have a spine, it drives me crazy. Someone turning into a stingless jellyfish when push comes to shove... a huge turn off.

Ok totally off subject but I just want an opinion on this message I received on Mermaid Emily's facebook page.

Hello from Germany,
I am sorry to bother you and thank you of reading this. There is a saying in Germany: wer nicht fragt, bekommt keine Antwort . If you never ask, u won't get an answer. So I ask.
My name is Anne-Mareike and I am from Germany. I am writing on a card deck and little booklet about the light full messages about mermaids with my twin-sister Wibke. We wrote in the beginning of this year a small book about mermaids and explained in it about the myths and legends of mermaids, their spiritual side and showed ways to connect with the inner mermaid in us. We wanna rise awareness of the waterworld, their animals and wanna bring a good or better connection with the mermaids and the inner mermaid in ourselves ... and we hope that the spiritual side shows our readers that the underwater world is nothing scary and we can connect with the mermaid in us and mermaids around the world. The cards are used to draw a day/week card for guidance inspired by the mermaids or get in contact with the inner mermaid.
Well...sorry for writing so much.
Anyway we work with photos of mermaids and in our book we used pix of my sister, but we are now creating 44 cards, we thought it would be more fun, if we have some beautiful pix of other mermaids. There are already beautiful Mermaids, who are supporting us with pictures, but we wanna create 44 cards and on the search for picture, I came across your side.
I have already created a dolphin card deck and an ocean card deck and we got supported with pix from lovely photographers from Hawaii, California and Germany and they allowed us to use the pix for free & the photocredit will be published in the booklet. The pix will be used only for this product although it could be that the deck is going to be translated in different languages and published in different countries. In the photo credits it is always mention the homepage of the pic donator and I write a 2-6 sentence about the work of the person, if it is wished. We have been blessed and mermaids from USA, Germany, Belgium and Netherlands are already supporting us.


The Cards are going to be published in June/July 2015 in Germany and Austria and if you support us, we are more than happy to send you the finished product.
Well now my question: is there a possibility to get a pic of you as mermaid for this project? I thought I ask ... And I do not want to sound brash or pushy ... I just thought I ask. Thank you that you took the time to read this… I really do appreciate this. And thank you for your beautiful work. I really do hope to hear from you. Have a mermaid day and greets and hugs from Germany, Anne-Mareike


This how the cards are going to look like �� … the Mermaid on the pix is my Twin sister and a friend ��. All the extras like Dolphins or Stars in the cards I add with Photoshop �� ... you do not need to worry about that.

I just want to make sure these people are legit and if they don't checkout I will just ignore the message and block ;)
Thank you xx

They are probably legit, in that they are self-publishing. If it gets picked up by a bigger publisher, it might get distribution. They want to use your photos for no recompense other than a vague mention.

I would say thanks, but no. Not when it's a minor-aged person...who knows where the photos might end up? There's plenty of creative commons shots and stock photos they can use.

That's just my first impression opinion.

Honestly I don't think that any healthy-minded girl wants a jerk boyfriend. They're probably just saying that you're "too nice" because they value your friendship but aren't romantically/sexually attracted to you.

I don't like this idea going around that women want to "tame the bad boy" and "nice guys finish last". If any guy is disrespectful to me I cut them off no matter how good looking they are. Likewise, if I'm not attracted to them but they're a nice person, I will accept them as a friend but there is no reason why I should feel guilty about not wanting to date them.

I got that message about a month ago. I went ahead and ignored it, but mostly because I wasn't interested.