Actually, my thread was frozen, finally. :>
Printable View
Actually, my thread was frozen, finally. :>
I honestly only feel like there's been a recent spike in mertailor drama, because he's recently done a lot of really unsmart things. I mean seriously, in the space of a little over a month, there was the very public fighting between Matty and Chris, Lor's tail idea and then all that drama, the FB drama with me that seeped onto the forum because of threats, stalking me on my trip, Bri's terrible tail, and then all the nasty youtube comments. I do understand people are feeling overwhelmed with his drama, but dont forget we took steps to prevent it on our end by changing the reviewing system so people COULDNT boggart those threads. None of the 'drama' has been tacking on to other threads that I know of- it's all been specifically about issues with him from the start. All of it labelled as such. So yeah, it's been overwhelming this past month or so, then again so is his behaviour.
This just seems to be a very active time period for whatever reason. I wouldn't let people get carried away thinking it's the only thing going on here, I mean so many new threads and posts are made every day that have nothing to do with him. i think it just seems all encompassing because he has a way of upsetting HUGE amounts of the community at once, not to mention people who are vocal (like myself). Influx of drama= influx of posts about it. I think we already took a lot of steps with our review system and all the discussion generated on it to prevent drama where we could, and at least identify it. He's gotta meet half way and back off the dramatic activities.
I think threads should only be frozen if the OP requests it or if they break a rule. In rare cases, If someone necro posts on something year(s) old to obviously try to start drama. I dont see a point of making it so only certain people can post in it because if you dont want to post in it no one is forcing you, just like no one forces you to respond. you may also not feel it appropriate to respond in the beginning but then decide you should be the end. Also, we've learned much more about reporting threads now too
But truth be told, the begins of the 'drama' threads actually hold some good suggestions, comforting replies, and well wishing ears. Until people can't stop
I feel at least for me, I know I get really posty, because there is so much egg shell walking that once you find a "Safe place" to vent about the stuff you just go til you have nothing left. Which is what I think happened with Aela's goodbye thread. A lot of people had a lot of stuff they kept silent and finally it was okay to express some of it.
But yeah, I do agree, it tends to go on. I think the issue happens when the thread has finally died down but then someone starts it up again weeks later.
*takes fin, inserts in mouth*Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid Lorelei
Maybe the whole forum could have a 'READ ME BEFORE POSTING' post which asks people to look at dates on posts, and not necro old ones that had drama in them to comment on said drama? It would have to be an honor system kind of thing, but it might help since more and more people are coming here lately, and may not know about all the stuff that happened or whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by AniaR
I'm gonna be honest, since I arrived here about a month ago, I have avoided drama threads entirely, skimming through any drama that happens on threads i want to read for educational purposes.
I dont have any emotional ties to any one really (yet ^.^) and generally see it all as if I was just coming into a new family where tension already exists.
For instance, since it is such a hot button for excitement: I've seen erics work (gyad damn are his tails beautiful in photos, I admit to still lusting after that gold and bluegreen one regularly), as well as plenty of other tail makers from perusing youtube, the forum, and other google sites and my opinion is generally that if a manufacturer has had major complaints (any manufacturer of any kind, not just mer), complaints that I would deem absolutely unacceptable if I were engaged in business with them, then I steer clear in general. Not saying that exceptions are impossible, but improbable.
When I was motorcycling, the gangs I would ride with would give me honest advice about the shops I took my bike to, and products I would purchase for my bike and my own gear, and generally I listened to them, especially the harder, more experienced riders.. But, that being said, I did make decisions based on my own preferences, damn their opinions if need be. ie: "you're such a small girl you shouldn't ride anything larger than a 600cc motorcycle".. and here I am 1850cc's later and still dragging knee around them..
Thats the way of the world.
Take peoples opinions with a grain of salt, don't be afraid to do things of your own volition. We learn best from our mistakes not our triumphs.
Drama or conflict is a part of life, and it has its place, but getting swept up in it is as dangerous as a rip tide.
I appreciate the candor I've seen on this forum. Not the spats.
So please- continue to be honest! Be real about the issue, but lets not get petty.
I'd like to see threads generally locked when things get petty, or for there to be a three count warning system if there isn't one (not to ban some one, but to let them know that 'hey.. take a deep breath.. we appreciate you and your opinion but reign it in for posterities sake..')
Wheedling at each other is just frustrating for others who are conflict wary and may discourage some from taking part in a conversation that they have genuine unbiased questions about for fear of being belittled or snapped at.
I love this forum! I really like the people involved with it, and see it as a wonderful place to find like minded mers to confer and brainstorm with, as well as shoot the breeze. So- thanks for making the site and I hope it stays peaceful and welcoming ^.^
*giggle* dont worry, I do that daily. :p <3Quote:
*takes fin, inserts in mouth*
I think that's a good idea. Maybe having a rule don't resurrect an old post for the sake of drama. If you have an issue you need the community to know about, or a negative review etc start your own thread. I didnt really like the stuff all over the WMA threads- since it's practically a year ago. Everyone's moved on no need to stir it up.Quote:
Maybe the whole forum could have a 'READ ME BEFORE POSTING' post which asks people to look at dates on posts, and not necro old ones that had drama in them to comment on said drama? It would have to be an honor system kind of thing, but it might help since more and more people are coming here lately, and may not know about all the stuff that happened or whatever.
Mermasaai I REALLY appreciate your input. I think we old timers do worry about scaring off the newbs. I think many would relate to what you say though,. I really personally feel drama just revolves around a select group of people (me being one of them) and I don't see it as something that affects the whole site. There is so much going on with this forum, so many amazing things, and I know my life has been positively changed from being apart of it. Without this forum I'd still have a horrible tail I couldnt swim in. I probably wouldnt have travelled to Florida, be nowhere in my mermaid identity, and have none of the amazing friends here I've made.
I've learned people very seldom actually read the "Read before posting" stickies. Even if it answers common questions or even tells you what the section is for, the posts make it obvious that they didn't get read. Even if I "bump" it to draw attention to it. Not much to be done there besides be annoyed I suppose. :/Quote:
Originally Posted by nirix5
The problem is that often times the drama is so concentrated into one chunk of time where there are so many posts that by the time an Admin sees it there has already been a lot going on. Also both me and Malinghi are pretty busy with our personal lives, and posts can slip through the cracks if we're not reading every thread every day.Quote:
Originally Posted by nirix5
If someone wants or needs a post locked the BEST thing to do is to report the original post and state that they are the original poster of the thread and that they'd like it locked. If it isn't as urgent you can always email mernetwork@gmail.com or send a PM to one of the admins. If it is SUPER extremely urgent email RainbowEyes@txt.att.net.
Don't be afraid to report a thread if need be! It lets the admins know in a timely manner that something is up and steps need to be taken. We can't do anything if we don't know what's going on, and your help is vital in a site this large (posts wise).
We'll defiantly consider this. Could be some gray areas in there, but I suppose we can deal with that when we come to it. As long as people remember that in the end the Admins are the ones that make the calls on what is and what isn't considered breaking certian rules. There are gray areas that we have to deal with.Quote:
Originally Posted by AniaR
Also Mermasaai that was very well said! People often see reviews as drama, but it's an invaluable resource to have if you're looking for opinions and input. Heck I scour Amazon, and other places for reviews, all the time even for things I'm going to buy in store to make sure my money is well spent! There will always be good and bad reviews, it's just a matter of having the information then making a educated decision or forming a personal opinion. I too am glad to see we aren't scaring off all of the new people :P
Lets face it,
dramas going to happen despite what we say or do. I know this might seem weird but how about a drama board.. i have one on my forum where members can vent and complain about random things, therefore its kept out of all other boards and those who choose to read can, those who dont, do not have to deal with that board at all.. but i agree there's been a bit of anti mertailor going about the forum lately and i understand why... No im not against anyone i just feel sometimes even through all the carp some of us have been through, we have matured and warn others about previous experiences and can sometimes leave it at that.
nirix, I like your title. that is all
putting people on your ignore list is also really helpful :) then you dont even have to see their posts
I will more than likely get beaten by a few fins here but I might as well say it.I joined to support Star in her quest to become a better mermaid and learn more to help her do so. I like Drama to a point. I like TRUE debate. I like Constructed conflict it is how we grow in some ways. Now I have been involved in some of the drama lately but mainly because it was connected to my Girlfriend. Like Matty in that way if you bad mouth my girl or I feel you have threatened her I will get reactionary. At one point I tried to help by making a debate thread to draw the drama off of pages, but that kind of fell to way bottom of the ocean. (sorry I also like puns) Lets face it though a lot of people on here are entertainers (actors, performers, ect) Drama will happen and will happen often. No matter what we do save for shutting down the board and never speaking to anyone who likes the same things we do we will have to always deal with drama. What we then need to do is if we are trying to lessen the drama look to see who is at that point causing the most drama and is the drama they are causing justified or are they becoming a bully/ Drama bomb. Then if the person who has done this and has in fact caused the most drama that was only negative perhaps they should be suspended as a warning given a second suspension if they do it again and then plain ole booted and banned from the board. maybe if we report the drama more often it might become easier to see for the admins
When you posted this there was a Drama Thread. I move dramatic individual posts or whole topics that have gotten off topic or are just dramatic to that thread. People can chose to continue their disagreements/hash it out there if they want, but they still have to follow the rules. I've now taken your suggestion and created a "Soapbubble Opera / Drama" thread where people can go to vent. I just hope people are reasonable enough to know when to use it so I don't have to move posts all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by nirix5