Thanks Deep. I hope so too. I took some ibuprofen so hopefully my head will stop pounding. I'm hoping we can keep at least 2 of my babies.
Printable View
Thanks Deep. I hope so too. I took some ibuprofen so hopefully my head will stop pounding. I'm hoping we can keep at least 2 of my babies.
I'm sorry Goldie =( The shutting yourself away is ok for a while but please try to reach out to friends and family cause they love you and want to support you through this. They are all still here and so are you, you have today to enjoy on your own behalf and on behalf of your dad. We will ALWAYS miss the people we loose but it gets easier with time to keep moving forward.Quote:
Originally Posted by Goldie
So it's official. I can't have my cats. I'm now in the process of rehoming my babies. Luckily one of my friends is going to be able to take 2 of the kittens and I found someone else to take the other kitten. Now I just have to find homes for my 3 adult cats. I think I"m going to have a migraine for the next 3 months. I'm so heartbroken right now. I know I'll be able to get over it, but right now it just feels like someone is ripping my heart out.
Oh, Comatose Angel, I'm so sorry :( I've had to rehome some of my kitties and bunnies as well... ((HUGS)) I know there's not a whole lot I can do to help, but offer a shoulder. Do you get to visit them, at least?
2 of the kittens I'll be able to visit since my friend is going to take them. But the other kitten I won't be able to visit, and I don't know about the adults. I haven't been able to find a home for them yet. I hope I can find them a good home. I worry about my babies. I don't want them going to the pound cause I know there's a slim chance they'll be adopted because of their ages. 2 are around a year and a half ish old, and my momma kitty is about 6 or 7. I've had her since she was a kitten. I might be able to keep her if I can keep her inside only.
Know what's the MOST FUN EVAR? Guys who get pissy and turn into jerks because you're not into them, even though you've never been into them, have nothing in common, and they have known this for 13 years.
And it's awesome when they try to drop hints that you're not into them and are ~shallow~ and don't want them because of their size. AWESOME. Dude, it's not your fecking size, it's the fact that you're arrogant with a superiority issue, a self-centered world view, and a belief that no one is as smart as you are. You're a JERK. I don't even know if you're a good looking man by the standards in which I might view physical attractiveness because your personality is so fecking unattractive much of the time!!!
And, I've noticed he only goes for small, fitter or thinner women like me. So does that make him shallow? For being attracted to what he's attracted to? I bet it doesn't in his eyes.
YEAH THAT ROCKS.
And while I'm at it, he can suck it. I'm attracted to a wide range of body types, men and women. I do prefer healthy, fit bodies. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. Especially since it's not my only goddamn criteria. My last boyfriend was in a wheelchair and couldn't walk for a long time, the one before him was a healthy 'over' weight that I preferred to the meth-addicted skinny he became. And the last woman I had anything to do with is bodacious and curvy as hell so screw you, M.
/VENT
GAH!
VENT!
I know I've talked about my darling monster in law before but as our wedding gets closer her opinions become louder.
She didn't want to sit at the same table as her ex husband (my future father in law) so we sat her at a different one. She doesn't want him saying anything at the wedding. I'm choosing to ignore that one because he's a nice guy and I wouldn't be that rude.
She has to bring her new bf. now if it was an bf she had for a while I wouldn't mind, but she has more ex's than Taylor Swift. This newest one we've never met, we know that he has a LONG history of drug convictions, DUI's and spent a lot of time in and out of jail.
If she can't bring him she won't come. How rude of us to not give her a plus one. Never mind the fact that she has no personal friends as she alienates everyone and when we did up all the seating arrangements she just broke up with someone. Also when she started seeing this new one, she left to go to the other side of the country and didn't talk to us for 6 months.
Also as we haven't given my partners younger brother plus ones they aren't coming either (that turned out to be her putting words in their mouths so they don't have an issue).
what was once a very easy situation has now become hell. I'm not enjoying the process of planning my wedding with my partner because she's spending the whole time breathing down our necks telling us how to do it
Elle... :fish kisses: wedding stress on my end too
-Sigh- Did you know I'm a Whiner for having crippling social anxiety and I shouldn't be able to go to a place i enjoy (ie amusement parks) because I'm a whiner and cant deal with people pushing on me in lines that could possibly throw me into a mental break down right there in line . THE MORE YOU KNOW
I'm feeling really low, you guys. I'm sure it's part exhaustion and hormones kicking in, but I feel like complete crap. I've been away because of combo dog sitting and camps. I haven't been home in almost three weeks. I've had to put up with my mother who seems to randomly hate me, horrible disrespectful brother who cares for no one but himself, my "friend" who only seems to care about what I can do for her, and, to top it off, my husband who isn't taking his new job stress well.
My husband just started a demanding software development position in which he has to frequently miss lunch and work overtime so he can prove himself to his boss. Mostly he works from home, but they usually go in one day of the week to have meetings in person and such. Since his office is in the town I'm in, we were hoping to visit the evening he was already here, as its a long drive and were trying to key the gas bill as low as we can.
The problem is that this also happens to fall on the same night of class for me, and there isn't much time we could meet. I'm trying to go for my second degree black belt, which is a huge commitment and is going to be a very difficult journey to prepare for. I should not be missing classes if I want to get there.
So there was a one hour period of time in between when we were going to go walk on the park. When he didn't answer my calls after 45 minutes of waiting, I gave up and tried to focus on preparing for class. He showed up just before class, but I couldn't skip out then. I felt terrible, and I probably should have chosen him over class, but it wasn't a fair choice to have to make either way.
I did get to see with him for a little while after class, but the great part didn't start until after I got home and spent an hour looking for my phone that had been swallowed by my parents' crummy recliner.
I made the mistake of asking that he let me know if he wasn't going to be able to make it next time. Apparently I'm selfish and inconsiderate. He has to work to provide for us so we can have a house someday and he's gotta work his butt off to prove himself. There was absolutely no way he could text or call or email me to let me know he was going to stand me up, because work is just that demanding and busy and something about a meeting I don't remember.
I was just trying to make him understand that I was hurt and lonely but he crushed me. Later on when he calmed down he realized that I was probably upset and kept trying to get me to tell him what was wrong. I can't believe he would do that and expect me to confide in him. I just tried to do that and he shut me down. I feel like I can't trust him, and that makes me feel more horrible than I've ever felt before.
I could tell he still thought he was completely justified. Sure, maybe he really couldn't take a minute from working on their project, but attacking me over it was an inappropriate response. I wouldn't have minded so much of he'd just explained what had happened. He even apologised that I got upset, not because he'd yelled at me about something that shouldn't even be a big deal. He even put the blame on me when trying to apologise, or rather, trying to make me stop whining.
People who love each other don't talk that way.
I don't have anyone I can talk to. I'm really lost and feel unloved. I wish I could trust him, but how can I when I have to be afraid that he'll explode on me again? This sort of things happened before. I can't bring myself to yell back at him like he probably deserves, especially since what he says has a grain of truth to it.
Sorry for the long post, guys. I just need to tell someone who might care. I seem to be lacking people like that in my life right now.
*hugs* May I recommend a nice hot bubble bath? And chocolate. Like you say, it may well be a bunch of environmental things ganging up on you all at once, but it can still make you crazy! Hang in there!
I know what you mean! I have had that issue before. A guy thinks you have SO much in common (you don't) and thinks you should leave your current boyfriend for him, especially when he has nothing to offer. I am not necessarily talking money (But I will choose a guy who can pay his own bills over one who can't any day), but I am talking intelligent conversations, similarities in thinking (one who thinks the world is out to get him because he refuses to get off his butt as opposed to a guy who KNOWS you have to work for the things you want) and at least SOME semblance of adulthood. (Sitting around smoking pot vs getting a job and actually TRYING to make something of their life. That also goes for the people like my ex who wear a military uniform just to get attention and think they have PTSD from BCT and then act like they are a veteran (even trying to get a veteran license plate) when they hadn't even been out of basic for one year, never been out of the country, or even on a separate coast.
I am happy for my boyfriend. He lets me do what I want (with my mermaid tail, for example) and just asks for me to be safe (since I do a lot by myself, he is working in a different state at the moment) and has even said if I want to go to the beach while he is visiting he would even carry me to the water. That is awesome stuff. Also, when I move after school (we will be living together) he even said I could use part of the garage for doing my own tail if I want. (This is a big thing since he is a mechanic and will need the garage.) I am a lucky mer :)
I am so disappointed in my Mom and Dad. They decided to get a divorce and that's fine by me. Honestly I never saw it working between them and the only reason my mom and step-dad got married was to support 2 year old me. But they are acting like children about it. My mom is already seeing another man (married on top of that) and they have not even started the divorce. She got home at 1:30 AM. And my Dad closed out all the credit cards and bank accounts so mom cant get any money to pay for bills or for gas to pick up my brother. To top it off the guy my mom is seeing is giving her money for gas and he wants me to like him and wants me to hang out with them. So I was nice. I went with my mom and brother one night and hung out with him, his wife and kids. He kept telling my 13 year old brother dirty things. When I confronted him he just made fun of it. Then he kept pestering me about my stomach issues and kept offering me food. I told him no thanks, ill eat when I get home.
I told my mom about it and she said he can be nagging about it and she didnt like him saying that to my brother either and I should confront him about it. I dont even want to see him again. I dont mind that she will see other men, it bothers me that she is still married.
I have tried talking to them both but its like they dont even give a fuck about anything other than petty arguments.
It doesn't help that my Aunt has been gossiping about it and telling lies about my mom.
The only escape I have to all of this is to go to my boyfriends house and I cant even go there since the guy my mom is seeing wife wont take care of her daughters hair and got lice. Then came over and gave it to me because the wife is a lazy fuck who don't give a shit to even brush the poor kids hair and see that she has fucking lice!
Idk what to do. I feel like im the only one thats actually worried about my brothers future. Every one else is too worried about making drama.
Hate it when someone always thinks that they're right all the time. Seriously.
I flippin' hate when my mother tries to tell me what I can and can't do in college. My decisions are no longer her decisions once I'm past 18! It's my life now! Your opinions and advice are welcome, but you can't tell me what to do anymore!
I hate everything~ c:
http://i.imgur.com/Dwu2NIe.gif
:clapclapclapclapclapclapclap:
If you haven't managed to rehome them, try the humane society or at least make sure that it's a no-kill shelter. The one where my american mom (in-law) lives, they foster them in homes and show some in the thrift store for permanent rehoming. If I were nearby I'd foster them for you but sadly I'm an ocean away =( wish I could do more to help!Quote:
Originally Posted by Comatose_Angel
So, my husband's known about this trip to Florida for months. He's known it was going to be immediately before or immediately after August 11th. His mom couldn't do it? That's a shame, but that's okay, we can manage. Now he wants to further put it off because of school and work? What the hell - WE'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR OVER 3 MONTHS, DUDE. No, I'm not going to put alll our eggs in one basket for the trip we as a family were planning for December. First this trip was supposed to be Europe over Spring Break. Then it got moved to summer. I was okay with that. Then it became a trip to Florida and Disney/Sea World. I was okay with that. Then it became a short trip to the beach and several attractions in the area. Fine, as long as I see the ocean and play in it. Then his mom had to drop out. That sucks...okay, maybe this can be a short honeymoon, since we put that off too. You can't come either? Well...I hate doing this, but can I just go for part of the week instead before I go back to school? No, because you want to go too - but you can't? Why should I be stuck in Akron if I have few obligations that can't wait a few days? I'm tired of having to live vicariously through my writing world. Can't I have a break since I can afford it with the money that I earned by submitting my body to experimental medicine?Thing is, our finances in December are ALWAYYYYSSSSS FUCCCCKKKKEDDDD beyond recognition. The only way we'd go in December is if his mom takes us. I suppose we could take some of my whoreout-to-Big-Pharma money and set it aside, but I just don't trust that SOMETHING isn't going to happen between now and then that would suck that money away. And to be honest, it's way easier to convince family to loan us money in an emergency than for enjoyment. I want him to come along? But DAMMIT I'm so, so done with putting my life on hold for no good reason. I have no major pressing obligations that can't wait a few days while I'm away. Life is too temporary.
something to make you smile ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid Varshana
When Mermaid Varshana's husband change plans the first time :
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m95fdlegEx1r4fuk0.gif
The second time :
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4c7dn65oV1r4fuk0.gif
The third time :
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6...vwnco1_400.gif
The fourth time :
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3giufviNm1r4fuk0.gif
The fifth time :
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m35bbaPZST1r4fuk0.gif
The sixth time :
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ykh2Dtuw1r4fuk0.gif
What may happen next :
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m35dewxbC01r4fuk0.gif
Thanks for the info Kat, I did look in to the humane society. the closest no kill shelter is about 4 hours away. Luckily, I had a few friends who were really helpful and took in my girls. 1 is here in town, the other is less than half an hour away.
Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I'm too autistic to understand this. But why is a person's impulse upon being hurt, to hurt someone else like they were? I've heard two people say this, and I can't wrap my mind around it. Like...if you were abused, wouldn't you never want anyone to feel that way because it sucked so much for you? Because you'd want to make sure that that type of abuse never happened to anyone else? When i was young, i was abused terribly, but I guess I don't get it still :/
Sometimes they do it knowingly, sometimes they do it without realizing it. When they do it knowingly they may justify it with bizarre reasons in their head, or they don't feel the person they're hurting is taking their own hurt seriously, so they need to show them what it feels like. When they do it without knowing, it's likely because no one has ever put boundaries down with them, and insisted on them being followed. (sometimes people will put boundaries down, but get scared by the person's reactions. An unstable person will always freak out at boundaries) And there's a very high chance they've been surrounded by people who enable their poor behaviour directly or indirectly.Quote:
Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I'm too autistic to understand this. But why is a person's impulse upon being hurt, to hurt someone else like they were? I've heard two people say this, and I can't wrap my mind around it. Like...if you were abused, wouldn't you never want anyone to feel that way because it sucked so much for you? Because you'd want to make sure that that type of abuse never happened to anyone else? When i was young, i was abused terribly, but I guess I don't get it still :/
In both cases, hard consistent boundaries are what work, and when they don't, you get the hell out of the relationship even if they're family. If you determine the person likely has a personality disorder, there are loads of books for coping with them in your life. My mother has borderline personality disorder and was abusive my whole life. As an adult I read books about bpd and tried the techniques in them. For some people, it's worth it to have some or all contact with the person, but it became clear after some reading, therapy, and work, that my mother was one of the more extreme BPDs and very dangerous, so I stopped speaking and seeing her 4 years ago. It changed my life in the best possible way.
I have a borderline person kind of in my life, but I keep her way on the outskirts. I purged a narcissist about a year ago. I think these particular two are more the types that never put boundaries down with other people, so they've conflated having no backbone with being nice and being an asshole with being assertive.
I've had it. I've had enough.
My older sister has bullied me throughout most of my life. I cannot remember her ever saying anything nice about me- its always negative. I've been out of home now for 7 years- not even in the same city as her anymore- but she still finds things to contact me to complain about. Its gotten to the point where I think she is genuinely SEARCHING for something I've done which she doesn't like. Dont even get me started on what she thinks of my mermaiding!
All I can remember from her is being called fat, ugly, crazy, stupid, adopted, annoying... throughout most of my life. It hurt more because it wasn't just some random peer or kid at school: it was my big sister. I loved her.
Now, here we are, I am 24 years old and she is 26 and about to get married. Within the first few days of her engagement she told me that 'this was her time' and that between then and her wedding I 'wasn't a loud' to have anything special happen. Yep. Her exact words. I let if slide because, well, I wasn't planing on doing anything special.
But two days ago, herself and my mother were in town trying to find her some shoes for her wedding. I suck it up to go see them- I get along really well with my parents, so seeing mum was the only reason I went. I told myself that it would be ok, its just a few hours, I can handle a few hours with my sister.
Boy was I wrong.
I cant understand how she can sit there and tell me that I'm doing everything wrong, that I should think of her and my parents more often (what the heck? I get along better with my parents than she does!) as if she knows exactly how I should live my life.
I was so angry. I asked her to stop, to change the subject, to try and calm myself down so that I could be civil. But she wouldn't stop. So I got up and left the resturant (yep, she quite happily does this in public- smiles the whole time like she's doing nothing wrong) shaking with anger and betrayal.
I guess, I've opened myself up to being hurt by her too often. I tell myself every time that its going to be different. But it never is. She will never change.
So I give up. I'm not going to try with her anymore. It will break my families heart, but what else can I do? Continue to be belittled and bullied for the rest of my life? Nobody stands up for me.
Oh, Mizuko, I'm sorry to hear that. :( My partner's older sister is that type of person, too, and she does the same thing to him that it sounds like your sister does to you. It's never easy to have to just give up on a family relationship, especially a sister, but that's pretty messed up that she still acts the same mean way towards you that she did when she was a child. Like, it's wrong when you're a child anyhow, but it's even more so when she's a full grown adult getting married! Jeez, I've heard of bridezillas, but to tell your own sister she "wasn't a loud' to have anything special happen."... :(
Ive dealt with the same thing my entire life from my older brother. He's my only sibiling so I'm the baby. We're 9 years apart and he never misses a chance to "throw me under the bus" he was physically a bully when we were younger but moved out of the house when I was 12 it was nice till he would come for visits. Now he finds any and every way to insult me condemn me and sabotage my marriage. He can do it right in front of my mom and when I finally for the first time stood up for myself she said stop talking and my husband said nothing. It sucks being bullied and abused by a sibiling its better to just cut the ties and see them as less as possible. I'm really sorry this is also happening to you. I dont have a sister but I can only imagine its similar. :( I hope you are able to settle your dispute within yourself. Be the bigger person and just accept that they are that way and than distance yourself. Sometimes its just better that way.
Can I send this to your sister?:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizuko
:::snicker:::Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid-Rose
Not aloud to have anything special happen?
Just to screw with her head, I'd be tempted to get pregnant if I were you. (I know bad reason to get pregnant, but I'd still be tempted. :mad:)
Thanks everyone <3
I spoke to my parents about it all. I told them how I felt and why I was going to cut ties with her. And they were... surprisingly understanding. More so than I would've thought (I was expecting them to be like "but she's your sister!!"). I feel a lot lighter- I dont have to bother with her anymore. I dont even want to go to the wedding now, but because its overseas and my tickets already paid for, I kinda have to... At least I'll be sharing a room with my parents, and its in Thailand so I'll suck up any abuse from her just to go swimming on the reefs!!! lol!!
I wish it was different, but this is the only option I can see where I wont be hurt anymore.
Aw, Mizuko **hugs** Alternatively, you can just skip the wedding ceremony, go swimming in your tail, and then show up at the reception in said tail and eat all the wedding cake :) If you're quiet, technically you're not "aloud" so technically you're not breaking her psychotic guidelines. :D
(Do Western weddings even work that way? I'm never 100% sure because the movies confuse me... But what's a wedding without food afterwards? That's why everyone goes - or maybe I'm too Persian and can't distinguish get-togethers with being fed. ;) Also, maybe disregard my advice on showing up in the tail... that's just me being a meanie again... although honestly, I do think that'd be awesome payback for someone who has been so wicked for so long... )
haha, I am totally taking my tail. I might not show up at the wedding in it, but I'm sure as hell going to go swimming in it! I dont care what she thinks/says! I've paid for the trip, I might as well do something I love while I'm there :D
Exactly!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb...7o1_r1_400.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by Mizuko
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3...bb7uo3_250.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizuko
That's the spirit!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizuko
Mizuko, you are a wonderful girl, never doubt about your value. NEVER. We all love you :hug:
http://31.media.tumblr.com/88f7dfa41...bcnho1_500.gif
Oh, I would think raising one's hand when the "If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now or forever hold their peace..." part rolls around might also be amusing. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Anahita
"Someone" is gonna be pretty pissed afterwards :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Merman Æolius
http://media.tumblr.com/e0147203bd78...Z3b1qz4rgp.gif
Good for you!!! I'd go to the wedding, sit in the back and as soon as it's over leave for the beach and go for a swim. At least with all the crap going on you'll still have a good memory of the day. And on a positive note, you mermaiding hobby may just put a dampener on her day! I think she'd deserve it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizuko
Goodness, on behalf of decent older siblings, I apologize, Mizuko. :/ Siblings can be a pain sometimes but they're family. You should treat them as you would like to be treated.
I have problems with my younger sister, who likes to bully me. She used to be physically abusive but I felt I couldn't fight back because she's smaller than me, younger than me, any excuse you could find. After she started hitting me in the head with shoes while I was sleeping, I laid into her and now she's not physically abusive anymore. She's got some issues but thankfully, our relationship is better now than it used to me.
I used to blame myself for her bad behavior but I got over that. >_> Her bullshark is her bullshark!